Question for Red Pillers: Why do you hate single mothers so much? And why do you praise single fathers then?

[deleted] · 2014-08-09T05:20:47+00:00

"Hate". What the fuck is it with this word and this subreddit? According to PPD, RedPillers hate all women and some kinds of women even more and they hate almost all ideas and behaviors and movies and blablabla. If I really felt as much hate as PPD claims every RedPiller does, I'd have gone on a shooting spree already. Most PUA/LTR-RedPillers like women so much that they spend a huge portion of their life trying to please them and the MGTOW fraction is just thoroughly indifferent towards them. If you're a RedPiller who hates women, you're either a newbie who has just seen the truth, but not yet accepted and gamed it or you're doing this whole RedPill thing wrong.

Anyway, about the actual topic: I was raised by a single mom during my younger childhood years until she met the guy who is now my step-dad. No, I don't hate my mother, I actually love her very much, and I think she did a good job raising me. She went to work, picked me up from kindergarten and later school and still found time to play with me, cook and all that stuff.

However, if she hadn't met my step-dad, I'd definitely be a complete loser and pansy now. He taught me everything I know about computers, cars, house maintenance, not being a fucking wussy about everything etc.

Not every boy raised by a single mom will eventually see the influence of a step-dad or another male character in his life and while some single moms may be able to teach their sons how to become men, the majority of them aren't. But yeah, NASMALT.

So no, it's not hate that we (or at least, I) feel towards single moms, it's just that I recognize single mom-households for what they very often are: Problematic.

Furthermore, TRP strongly advises its members not to date single moms for obvious reasons.

fiat_lux_ · 2014-08-08T21:30:14+00:00

you have a lot of praise for single fathers.

I don't see much praise for single fathers. Maybe some cheers for when men win custody, because rpers like seeing when other men "win" something. I also see some praise for male teachers.

The primary reason you're seeing the discrepancy is because they don't feel threatened by single fathers. With single mothers, they think they're going to be roped into taking care of someone else's kid, and that that kid is a huge responsibility that will take time away from the relationship.

roe_ · 2014-08-09T03:31:20+00:00

Why do feminists/SJWs hate male CEOs so much, but like female CEOs?

Male CEOs are privileged members of the patriarchy, female CEOs are bravely defying gender roles.

Reverse the sexes - male single fathers are bravely defying gender roles, single mothers, rightly or wrongly, are seen as hypergamous batshit crazy bitches who threw their husbands under the bus of family courts for cash & prizes.

an_absolute_rose · 2014-08-08T21:34:25+00:00

Men who flock to TRP typically grew up without a strong male influence in their lives. My parents are not divorced but my father is very distant and also is the biggest white knight I know. He has no fight in him left. The most alpha presence in my life was my uncle who my father cut out of my life over my mother's actions.

A majority of psychopaths are raised without a male influence by single mothers, I have a link somewhere I'll edit once I find it: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/12/17/older-moms-and-divorced-moms-raising-generation-of-psychopaths/ (close enough)

A single mother may have been abandoned by her partner; that is one way to look at it. Another is that she was promiscuous enough to get impregnated by a dark triad who cut and ran. To me this reflects negatively upon the mother. I have an example here to: my ex's sister. She is a middle age single mother who got addicted to lots of drugs when she was pretty. Fucked a bunch of alphas, got pregnant and didn't know who the father was. Then a few years later decided a repeat act was necessary. She has two kids who are two different ethnicities and lives with her parents.

Shitty people exist, but the man is not always the one who backs out of the responsibility. Women don't deserve a pat on the back for not dumping the child into the street. This is absurd and ridiculous.

Single fathers typically had to fight and fight to get their children. Because of the way our system works men have a huge disadvantage in getting custody. A man making the effort that it takes to win custody and care for his children is very honorable, at least in my eyes. Women are handed custody in most cases and rarely have to show how much they care about their kids.

sleuthoftrades · 2014-08-08T21:29:15+00:00

I think it rises from certain correlations between single motherhood and poverty, antisocial behavior, and culture. Others may have a more visceral hatred due to having been a part of one in some way.

SovietRaptor · 2014-08-10T00:09:42+00:00

There is no hatred for single mothers - just the idea of raising someone else's kid and dealing with a woman who has made some poor judgments in her past turns us off.

Reginleifer · 2014-08-09T02:32:47+00:00

The problem with this argument is that once again the blue pill side assumes that men and women are exactly the same thing with different genitalia, and some of them even assume THAT to be interchangeable. I'm looking at you transtrisexual otherkins or whatever you guys are calling yourselves nowadays......

Anyways rant aside, when we look at people we create assumptions about them and their lifestyle, everyone does it. Blue pillers did it with the example about the balding 40 year old fat dude's chances at scoring with them.... one user I believe put it as if his traits and educational status meant that he and (I assume her) probably had different values and beliefs that were not compatible. I'm not saying she's a bad person, but how can (s)he/hen/it/their/dragon? possibly KNOW this?

Now let's go into the assumptions that go into play when we think of single mothers and fathers.

Mothers are the default winners of custody..... let's not get legal here, we all know this isn't the law and auto awarding custody isn't legal, but hey so isn't a whole lot of other shit right? Studies have the custody rate EXTREMELY skewed towards women.
Women initiate divorce much more often than men. Women are making themselves single parents by a huge margin. A single father is assumed to have been landed into his predicament than landed himself.

With the two above points, we could conclude that most likely than not, that a man who GETS custody of children probably WANTED custody of the children.... custody is a damned hard thing to convince a judge to give you as a man if you're not wanting it. Since women get default custody (de facto) the same assumption is not made of them..... in fact you have to have some serious problems as a woman (a certifiable drug problem, or some violent convictions) to lose that custody battle)

A parent who is motivated (which we assume a man is for getting custody) is more likely to be competent and have all the positive qualities of a good parent. MORE LIKELY, not always.

Point is women get the double standard here for the same reason they get it for slut behavior, or leading people on..... if there is no challenge there is no kudos.

tl;dnr You assume that single parenthood is the only thing being compared, and all single parenthood is challenging, but there's outside factors/data that shape our assumptions about the single parent, one of which is getting custody, and the other is the circumstances of divorce.

[deleted] · 2014-08-09T16:49:28+00:00

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[deleted] · 2014-08-09T19:49:38+00:00

Single mothers are frowned upon for a variety of possibilities (not saying every single mom does this stuff, but plenty that do)...

-Cashed in on the husband in divorce court because SHE COULD.

-Cannot control her emotions, dad left.

-She got knocked up by and married some jerkoff who's not competent to take care of his family, dips out to avoid responsibility (thus us taxpayers take over daddy's role through welfare while he runs around knocking up more women).

-Knocked up and doesn't know who daddy is.

-Sperm jacking.

-Whether you like it or not, kids need 2 parents (not saying they can't grow up with same sex parents).. It's two much work for just 1.

I am 100% generalizing here, with all of these factored in.. Single moms generally are very unintelligent and have negative charcteristics associated with their personality which leads to raising children with bad morals. I'm sure there's some statistic out there that says kids raised by single moms without their dad in their life are more likely to wind up in prison at some point, cause nearly all the ones I know did! (including myself). Think about that Tupac song about his mother where he talks about hanging out in the hood with the other gangsters cause they all had no dad and had to stick together to learn from each other and fill that void.

Do you see many married couples in a functional household earning a comfortable living who are STUPID? More often than not, they are fairly intelligent people with good morals, their kids may not always turn out that way but at least the kids have a nice environment to grow up in.

CallMeMrBadGuy · 2014-08-08T23:45:09+00:00

There is hardly any talk of single fathers on TRP. Though to explain why single mothers are disliked in short on my mobile, its because they were foolish enough to rush in, have a mistake, and now the rest of the world (and any guy) has to deal with another mates irresponsible decision. This dislike is especially heightened if its a too late reformer cock carousel rider who now goes on to leave hate status updates against guys on facebook. Heh heh heh.

[deleted] · 2014-08-09T11:06:00+00:00

4 hours after the mods post a sticky about shit quality posts and not using straw men you post a straw man.

Denswend · 2014-08-09T00:40:49+00:00

http://www.fisheaters.com/garbagegeneration.html

DevilishRogue · 2014-08-09T13:38:09+00:00

I couldn't help but notice rampant hatred of single mothers on TRP.

There is no "hatred" for single mothers. There is simply recognition that they come with baggage.

adrixshadow · 2014-08-09T13:20:37+00:00

A father is stability.

Emotion is instability, if you divorce because of feelings then you are going to raise your child like shit because of feelings.

A single mother has MISTAKES written all over her face.

Why would another man want damaged goods?

The reason single fathers are praised is very simple.

First of no bullshit that its their fault, they actually cared about their children.

Second he won the custody, take some time to let that sink in, he won custody when it is all stacked against him, that means the mother must be the most vile abusive bitch for people on her side to jump ship, that is a fucking bullet dodge for the children right there.

To be fair I cannot understand women that divorce.

I can understand single mothers that go pregnant from dating douchebags, the animal is too strong, your maternal instinct makes you keep the baby, your life is going to be like shit since the man dodged the moment he smelled something wrong. I can respect that.

BUT divorced women have no excuse, if the man provided for his family as much as he could, if he didn't beat you, then you have no excuse. NO EXCUSE.

Why would you divorce? Why would you do the cruelest thing imaginable to a person that you said you loved in the past?

If you are divorced you have no value to a man, they might have you as an odd fuck but you will be getting OLD and then nobody will care about you, not your children, not your ex-husband, not your parents that will die, not any man.

trudatness · 2014-08-08T22:41:35+00:00

I explain it here:

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1xx5b7/lessons_from_the_lord_of_the_single_moms_plate/

DocileBanalBovine · 2014-08-09T00:38:54+00:00

http://dontmarry.wordpress.com/2007/05/13/6-reasons-to-never-date-a-single-mother/comment-page-11/

[deleted] · 2014-08-08T23:21:15+00:00

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sh1v · 2014-08-09T08:16:20+00:00

I dont have any praise for single fathers. If you arent a widower you fucked up. Even if a widower, you're fucking up by not acquiring a new mother for your kids.

I realize the pool of women actually worthy of mothering children has shrunk, but there is still plenty of quality out there. If you have kids, you have an obligation to bring that quality into your family.

[deleted] · 2014-08-09T08:27:53+00:00

Lol you are all beating around the bush making your answers way more complicated than they have to be so that you can avoid logic.

It takes two people to make a baby. A single mom isn't always a single mom because its her fault. Men do in fact ditch women who are pregnant with their child in order to avoid responsibility. Lets not play stupid. To act like that never happens is bs. Men should held responsible for their actions just like you all hold women responsible for theirs.

Kokujinkun · 2014-08-09T12:34:14+00:00

I'm gonna go out on a limb and throw some random shit out there.

In astrology, the sun represent the father and the moon represents the mother. Every has some aspect of these two and until we ultimately acknowledge both sides constantly throughout our lives then we're always influenced by a bias one or the other. I've never known my dad whatsoever, so my mother bears a great significance on my being, especially since she's dead, compared to my father.

So, it really matters for everyone, no matter what they say, how their mothers and fathers treated them in their lives.

rufusjonz · 2014-08-09T16:48:52+00:00

first, i've dated 2 single moms, and i had/have huge respect for them as people, both had incredible energy and juggled many things including successful careers --

my only issue with single moms is that society today glorifies them, while rips apart asshole deadbeat dads ... but for every Deadbeat Dad, there is a woman who spread her legs for him & kept the baby -- takes 2 to tango, literally -- in most all cases, women choose who they are having sex with ... and they can choose whether to use birth control, etc -- they are choosing to accept and pass on certain genes, so to speak, and some make awful choices in that -- it's not a 1 way street of blame

masterrod · 2014-08-09T20:50:57+00:00

I couldn't help but notice rampant hatred of single mothers on TRP.

Interesting because i'd bet that a lot RPers were raised by single mothers.

One more reason I could think of is your belief that single mothers are not competent

haha you're kidding right?

that it's better for a child to grow up in a full, healthy family.

Of course it's better, assuming the father is good.

I couldn't agree more,

Whoa..

As for the lack of male role model, if the child is a boy, the mother's brother, kid's uncle, grandfather, another male relative or a male friend could take care of that, and often does.

You have quite the rosy view of single mothers. But of course ideally a there must be a father substitute.. If not it can be difficulty for the child to adjust, or become a non-beta male in a relationship.

Can you agree that there are shitty people who abandon their partners and spouses even if they had previously agreed to having a child, but later the man backed out at the responsibility of taking care of the infant?

Sure RP tacitly agrees that men should do this. I don't' know about shitty people, but sometimes the relationship doesn't work, and the people don't' know what to do..

lso, can you agree that raising a child on your own is difficult and single mothers should at least be respected by taking that burden upon themselves instead of dumping the child into the street?

You'd then have to agree 1 altruistic action trumps bad ones. Keep in mind single mothers are known to abuse or worst infantilize their sons. IMO, it's one of the reasons that makes RP necessary. Some men never want to growup, or go against their mothers. Thus they are subject/comfortable to choosing beta characteristics in relationships.

Also, I find it strange that, while most of you seem to completely despise single mothers, you have a lot of praise for single fathers.

I doubt that strongly.

According to you, what's so different about being a single father that makes it so much worthy of your respect than being a single mother?

Single mothers put out quickly. ;)

robesta · 2014-08-08T23:19:26+00:00

That single mother thread on TRP sums it up pretty well. Single fathers typically don't display the cutthroat behavior in the dating world that single mothers have been known to.

Sunjammer0037 · 2014-08-09T02:43:12+00:00

Single mothers are the result of bad decision making and a reflection of how bad things have become..

Nobody is praising single fathers

Aerobus · 2014-08-09T02:26:57+00:00

I don't hate all single mothers. I hate a subset of them.

The single mothers who married a man and then became a widow I have sympathy for. They didn't choose to be single.

The single mothers who rode the cock carousel, got pregnant with the sperm of a man she cannot remember/identify, and then feels entitled to marrying a rich, successful, handsome, man are the women I hate. I hate these women because instead of taking responsibility for their (despicable) actions, they seek to make good-natured men pick up the slack. But that isn't the worst part. Even if they don't find some man to become her Beta bux, she'll get daddy government to support her.

ExpendableOne · 2014-08-11T15:20:07+00:00

For me personally, it comes down to reproductive rights, gender expectations and the conditions of situation. For starters, when a woman purposefully chooses to have sex with irresponsible/selfish men, they are demonstrating some very poor/irresponsible decision making. Given the amount of good men out there that probably deserve way more love/appreciation than they get, it's almost insulting to find women going out of their way to willingly go seek out bad/absent fathers-to-be.

Secondly, men have no real reproductive rights. Condom breaks, girl forgets(or "forgets") to take her pill or some other fluke accident happens, and all the man has no say on whether or not he ends up becoming a father. He is forced into the role on the whims of that woman. On the other hand, that woman still has every right and opportunity to get an abortion so, if she ends up being a single mother, she intentionally made that choice knowing that the father never wanted to be a father(and, typically, this decision to keep the child is often a very selfish and short-sighted one, and not a practical/intelligent one. Bringing an baby into this world under really bad conditions, that you can't even support on you're own, just because you're emotional/lonely, is really fucked up).

Thirdly, there's also the fact that women often have this bias in court. If a man is a single father, that means that he probably had to fight for those kids, fight to be in their lives and to support them. Single mothers, given all the advantages that they hold in court, would typically be single mothers because they went out of their way to shut the father out(whether out of spite or for simplistic, selfish, delusional or irrational reasons). Which means not only did these women choose the wrong kind of men but they might even have gone out of their way to abuse the system to alienate that child from his father.

Fourthly, when you see a single father, you also typically see a man who was a provider first but then had to put his career on hold to be a father to his children. He was already in a position to provide for them, and then they rose up to take on a challenge that was presented to them while still maintaining their careers. Most single mothers, on the other hand, had no real ambition/career plans when they ended up being pregnant. They were either students or working minimum/dead end jobs, and had no intention of really having a career, but they chose to have a kid anyway despite not really being able to provide for them.

When it comes to dating, most good men would probably like to start their own family, and wouldn't like to get involved with a woman that already has children or becoming father figures to children who's mothers see them as temporary/disposable as well. Women, on the other hand, might want to be "mothers" but might not want to put their body through childbirth, so the prospect of men with their own children might be appealing to them(higher cost on their bodies while, for men, there is little to no cost on theirs, so he would prefer to be a father to his own children than someone else's).

Also, given that men are typically expected to be the "provider", it's also a heavier burden to start dating a woman and her children, as he would then be expected(in some places legally forced) to provide for both the woman and all of her children. When it's the other way around, women don't see single fathers as a man & children she has to provide for but rather, see a man that has already demonstrated himself capable of being a provider and sees herself as just another person for him to provide for.

Another aspect to this is that divorces are initiated by women considerably more often than men, which means that the single mothers often put themselves in that position willingly; where as men were forced into that position by the women they married. In that sense, men get more sympathy for being a single parent than women.

Finally, a lot of social problems do stem from children of single mothers. Whether it's because the women who end up being single mothers were unqualified to be mothers in the first place or because that they just can't really instil the skills/knowledge their kids would need to succeed because they never really needed these skills to get where they got. A lot of mothers will teach their sons to "be yourself" and "be a good person", and success/love will come to you. While this advice may be true for her, because she was a woman and benefited from many privileges in her youth(because she was a woman), this would not be true for a boy and would lead him to failure, pain and misery(and certainly plenty of rejection from girls his age and struggles in the work place, which would in turn lead to other problems, criminality and delinquency).

Now, that's not to say that every single mother is bad or that every single father is great, but that's generally the way it goes. I was raised by single mother myself and, while I certainly appreciate all of her efforts and sacrifice she made, she was still completely inept as a parent and never should have chosen to mother a baby on her own(making all kinds of bad decisions along the way). My father was also a single father from a previous marriage, and did considerably better with the hand he was dealt(raising three successful children on his own, while financially supporting a fourth, and building a pretty good career for himself along the way).

Question for Red Pillers: Why do you hate single mothers so much? And why do you praise single fathers then?

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