The huge contrast between the hobbies/leisure activities of guys and girls I know

quaintrell · 2020-10-12T23:54:53+00:00

I used to read TRP and they think men have "real" hobbies, unlike women who just do makeup and post on IG. As if men don't waste 90% of their time on video games and sports.

Maude2010 · 2020-10-13T01:19:47+00:00

Men are boring. When they’re not at work or the gym, they have nothing to do. I’ve had periods of twelve plus months where I was unemployed and single, and every day was full. I cook, I take care of my home, I see friends, I read, I wander around, I travel, I volunteer, I take classes, I go to concerts and events... I could not work for the rest of my life and I’d be able to fill every single day. Hell, in the past six months, I haven’t worked, I’ve barely seen anyone, nothing is open and I’m STILL always busy. It’s always a problem when I’m dating because if a guy isn’t at work, at the gym or with a woman he doesn’t know what to do with himself. So they always assume I’m with another guy when I’m simply living a full life.

Sage_Planter · 2020-10-13T00:05:21+00:00

This is something that I struggle with when it comes to dating.

Over the years, I've cultivated a large number of hobbies and interests. My partners don't need to be interested in the same activities, but I'm much more interested in men who actually do things and a variety of things. I recognize the importance of rest, but come on, any profile that says "uh, I just play video games, and uh, I guess that's it" is highly unattractive.

MonicaLSolis · 2020-10-13T03:37:24+00:00

While teenage girls watch disney and romcoms, teenage boys are masturbating to pseudo-child pornography

SundanceDog · 2020-10-13T00:59:36+00:00

To be honest, I like to listen to books (or lectures) while playing games - especially grindy ones, like Farming Simulator or Minecraft. I've learned so much about a lot of different things by combining the two. 🤷‍♀️

FireflySky86 · 2020-10-13T02:47:13+00:00

I'm ashamed to admit that I myself have been engaging in some of these LVM hobbies. I have not been very productive person lately. Depression is a b****, and soul sucking LVMs have not helped and I dropped some past interests mainly due to these reasons. I'm currently trying (with little success) to motivate myself to change this while also being forgiving of myself. Right now being a potato is part of my self-care process but I will be trying to do better. I've made a bad habit of not doing enough for myself, and one thing that I have put on the back burner is my love of reading. I still struggle to give myself that time, but to get around that I have been getting into audiobooks. It's been feeding my need for literature in a way that I can handle right now. Eventually I might get around to making candles, which is something that I've been interested in but haven't gotten around to making it a reality.

CassieGreen85 · 2020-10-13T04:21:42+00:00

I play videogames (in console, PC and mobile) and one thing I realized is that:

1) Men have no concept of moderation. They pretty much let videogames consume them. I make sure all my obligations are done before I play game for 1-2hrs. (3-4hrs if it's a game I was looking forward to, but same thing applies.)

2) Men usually go for stuff like 1st person shooters (think Call of Duty) or sports. I go for visual novels (basically choose your own adventure books), strategy or puzzle games. I noticed women in general like to go for puzzle games. Guess which ones are more mentally engaging?

3) Men who consider themselves gamers (or almost any other hobby), have really nothing else going on. As examples: I started embroidery, started learning a language, learned how to properly bake brownies, researched So. Much. Stuff. at the skincareaddiction sub, watched educational youtube vids (in fact I believe I subbed to "Dad how do I?" YT channel because someone posted about it in FDS!)... There's just so much to learn, yet men stick to 1-2 things, forever. Just the gym, or just games, or just any other hobby.

tl;dr: the problem is usually the man's obsession and lack of branching out or prioritizing. (although many videogames are specifically engineered to be addictive, sadly)

MissVvvvv · 2020-10-12T22:18:04+00:00

Ewww! All the guys I know will be gyming, meal prepping, sport team practice, meeting with friends, studying, gaming, working on their own side business, travelling for work etc... I'm sure they do some nasty stuff but these horror stories of despicable men that I see on here seem to be from men in the US. Its awful and I can't comprehend it. I'm sure there are men this awful in my country but I can't help but suspect that there is a huge cultural influence. The most disrespect I've had in the dating scene has been from a NYer the best experience has been from Europeans and Latinos. 🤷‍♀️

Silverpool2018 · 2020-10-13T04:37:28+00:00

I see more women striving to do better - getting therapy, taking up a workout, meditation, yoga, house projects, new hobbies, organizing, planning, genuinely connecting with friends and family and remembering birthdays, knowing how to gift thoughtfully... The list goes on.

None of it is ingrained in us but we value what means to us, our relationships and health. We make an effort to grow and enrich our inner lives.

Imagine being asked to deal with men who cannot even be bothered to make an effort for their own sake, let alone do something for others. Why would we want them?

Peak_Tree · 2020-10-13T16:44:13+00:00

In principle I agree with you but...

Confession time: I do have productive hobbies (several you listed like reading, creating things and researching)...and I also have several non productive hobbies. And I regret nothing.

The idea that EVERY single thing I do has to lead to self improvement/ self care and be productive in some way is just anxiety inducing to me. I need that "wasted" time in which I disconect and just exist watching a pointless c-drama every other week.

Tbh I think men need to stop playing videogames 18 hours a day and balance with other more productive hobbies...but women have got to claim their leisure (true non productive, lazy leisure) time more. Really disconecting has helped my productivity ( sound ironic, doesn't it?) and my creativity like nothing else and I feel by socialization many women live their whole likes depriving themselves of true egoistical, improductive "me time" and I just can't do it.

I don't even care if it makes less high value to other people's eyes. I need a certain alloted ammount of time sepend on hobbies just for my pleasure that don't involve self improvement or socialization with family, friends or even pets to be a functional human being and that's it.

LocalFeministtttt · 2020-10-13T08:56:53+00:00

You described my past relationship to perfection with this post and this is why my standard with men’s hobbies increased since that thing ended. My ex used to be mad at me all the time because I suggested actually interesting hobbies and a better performance in life.

We should put a lot of attention on this matter, because hobbies are priorities made actions. Why would we want to spend our time and energy in a guy that plays videogames and jerks off? It’s just absurd.

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illusion_believe · 2020-10-13T19:10:34+00:00

I remember going on a date with a dude. He spent 20 mins in the bathroom. I started to think that he left to let me pay lol

Then he came back. I thought that the bathroom was full. It was my turn to go and there was barely anyone. He was just on his phone. I don’t understand this habit of checking your phone at the toilet. Unless you’re a president or a big CEO, no one needs you this much. He was certainly just watching IG stories.

I remember that he would take some time to answer my texts but would watch my stories first. Like he had the will power to not text me back fast but watching stories was an addiction (SM is highly addictive )

Last night I was idealizing my ideal parenting style. I was imagining myself enrolling my child to art class, make him join a sport team Nd play music. I was thinking about making him read 3 books about a country whenever we travel. Thinking of hiring a private teacher for his music and art class so that he can practice at home lmao. Him making us an oral presentation of ancient Egypt during dinner so that he shows us what he has learnt. I wasn’t thinking about buying him video games at all

Title	The huge contrast between the hobbies/leisure activities of guys and girls I know
Author	blerty567
Upvotes	187
Comments	42
Date	October 12, 2020 5:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j9vidc/the_huge_contrast_between_the_hobbiesleisure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-huge-contrast-between-the-hobbiesleisure.320907 https://theredarchive.com/post/320907

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