Why do MRAs ignore that a big number of divorced men don't even want primary custody of their kids?

welcometothejl · 2021-01-04T17:29:24+00:00

Those statistics are ignored because the system is still unfair, so the point is kind of moot. I am divorced and I didn't want primary custody, I wanted equal custody, which is what I have. Unfortunately equal custody doesn't come with equal treatment under the law. Despite having 50/50 physical custody, I still pay full child support. So my ex wife has an incentive to be the primary parent whereas I don't. It's not hard to imagine that this will skew numbers.

Men should be able to choose 50/50 physical by default, and if they do, they shouldn't have to pay child support. If they still don't choose at least equal custody, then I would agree, we should talk about the numbers.

Now that has one obvious flaw, which is that it doesn't compensate the mother for the physical stress and recovery of carrying a child, and not to mention the other postpartum responsibilities. So you could set up temporary support in cases where the children are under the age of 4, or when you have a recently divorced stay at home parent who needs time to transition back into the workforce.

Another thing I want to point out. I never forced my ex to be more of a stay at home parent. In fact, I wanted her to stay employed full time. She was employed full time for about 8 months after our daughter was born. It was ultimately her preference to cut back to part time. I didn't mind either way, but the point is, she was never forced.

crookedsummer2019 · 2021-01-04T17:28:22+00:00

I posted this before that I have a relative who is a family law lawyer. She said that courts look at who provides the primary caregiving: ie who gets them out of bed, feeds and dresses them, arranges medical apps, arranges babysitters etc and will use that to help determine who the most appropriate primary parent should be.

The reality is that in many families it is the mother who is tasked with doing the primary caregiving, not the father. She once told me about a father who wanted joint custody with the kids living with him 50 percent of the time and he didn’t even know the names of the kids’ teachers, when they last had a vaccine shot, the number for the babysitter, when their last medical app was, or where the epi pen was for his youngest child. He attended 0 parent teacher meetings, 0 medical appointments, arranged 0 babysitting when needed, because when he wasn’t working, he was golfing or hunting.

She does workshops with fathers who are part of some group for single dads and soon to be single dads and she advises them to have a very active parenting role in the child’s life as that can help with custody issues.

There are very few excuses for men not being active parents. They are just as capable as mothers to do all the things their kids need.

There are men who don’t want the responsibility and are happy to have their weekends and free time to do whatever they want, heck, there are some women who are like that too. People like that have no business complaining about custody and things not being fair when they don’t want the responsibility to begin with.

Another story regarding a single mom friend of mine whose ex complained about having to pay so much for child support for his three kids. She offered to have them stay with him 2 days a week in addition to his every other weekend and she would ask the court to reduce his child support. Guess who didn’t take her up on that offer?

OfSpock · 2021-01-04T16:20:09+00:00

Because their attorneys tell them that it will be waste of time and money to fight for it...

LillthOfBabylon · 2021-01-04T17:12:48+00:00

Also, none of these men realize its more expensive and more exhausting to be the primary caretaker of a child.

Lunatic_Jiggles · 2021-01-05T03:58:51+00:00

I fought for and have joint custody of my daughter. I can't speak for other men, but I doubt "A lot" (w/e the fuck that means) don't want their children. Most of the divorced fathers I know, have fought for as much custody as they could get.

Nothing about suicide is "convenient" or should be dismissed.

Your post is disgusting. Fuck right off.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-01-04T16:15:43+00:00

They don't ignore. If they're talking about the number of fathers who do want custody of their children but can't seem to get it, then the number of fathers who don't want custody of their children is not relevant to the discussion and I'm unsure of why you think it is.

Are you saying that men shouldn't be able to get custody of their children because a lot don't want custody anyway? That's some bad logic, if you are.

SaBahRub · 2021-01-04T16:22:25+00:00

You know why

redditthrowaway1478 · 2021-01-04T16:50:06+00:00

Worth mentioning: the suicide statistical disparity is also often misunderstood and not necessarily on the fault of MRA's this time. We're all guilty here, as it turns out that depression affects male and female brains differently on a neurochemical level.

abaxeron · 2021-01-04T18:22:01+00:00

Why do MRAs ignore that a big number of divorced men don't even want primary custody of their kids?

We don't. Any couple having a kid that the father wants nothing to do with should be investigated for history of possible female-on-male rape and spermjacking.

female suicide attempts that are much higher

No they aren't.

Jakeybaby125 · 2021-01-04T17:18:13+00:00

Look up how much the costs are for everything then get back to me

Think4Yoself · 2021-01-04T16:24:29+00:00

History set a precedent which is why the courts are in favor of the mother being the primary caretaker.

Fathers have been absent up until like the last 60 years.

Hoopy223 · 2021-01-04T17:00:50+00:00

Is this Female Incel crap? Like wtf?

Emervila · 2021-01-04T16:12:05+00:00

female suicide attempts that are much higher are dismissed as "women wanting attention".

Women are less serious about it and more prone to get help. what's next: who has more suicidal toughts?

https://www.verywellmind.com/gender-differences-in-suicide-methods-1067508

Severity of Suicide Attempts

Even when the same method of suicide is used by men and women, attempts by men tend to be more serious and severe (60% more severe, at least statistically speaking). Men who attempt suicide and survive are more likely than women who attempt and survive suicide to require intensive care hospitalization.

YouSaidChicken · 2021-01-04T16:23:10+00:00

Or they know they won't get custody, and they know and their lawyers know they won't get it, and that he'll spend another $50k in legal fees to also not get custody, and naturally she'll lie her ass off about everything and use the kids solely for revenge and as little ATMs.

So that's why they don't "want" custody, its called there being no chance. As the female is motivated to get that money (which is all females care about anyway) and she's going to win no matter what, a simple lie or two, spawned on by her lawyers, also get them all the custody and money they want.

it's why they divorce. Money. So to think women won't leverage children for money shows just how much feminists (and women in general) continue to lie about everything always at all times about everything.

Women don't divorce and demand the ex-husband come by and fuck them 3 times a week, they want that money making children alimony 2.0 payment.

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SonicBackScratcher · 2021-01-04T16:03:34+00:00

but female suicide attempts that are much higher are dismissed as "women wanting attention".

Because thats what they are. If you really want to kill yourself its not difficult to figure out. Or are you saying women are too stupid to do it?

A local gun range recently had this issued cleared up. Woman came in, said she wanted a lesson, got into the booth, learned how to fire the gun and blew her brains out in the gun range. See thats easy if you really want to die. Taking a bottle of asprin and calling your ex or family and going to the ER for a stomach pump isn't trying to kill yourself.

ridderrobby · 2021-01-04T16:01:55+00:00

So then should women be paid less if the majority doesn't want to be the primary breadwinner? No you say, weird how that works

anakinskynoobi · 2021-01-04T16:04:39+00:00

Men are not entitled enough to want primary custody, they want shared custody and I've never seen female suicide attempts portrayed as women wanting attention in the entire manosphere let alone MRAs.

redditthrowaway1478 · 2021-01-04T18:42:48+00:00

More men kill themselves.

But more women attempt to do it!

Wow OP. Lol.

moneygang4life · 2021-01-05T14:35:48+00:00

Yes women are much likely to not be serious about suicide and just want attention? What else is new?

2021-01-04T16:45:29+00:00

bc men good women bad, apparently

Creative-Anxiety-244 · 2021-01-04T16:30:58+00:00

The system should be set up so that if fathers do want primary custody they can achieve it instead of being judges unfit just because they're men. But as of now its set up against men and even feminists often fight against men's rights despite claiming to be wanting equal rights.

Title	Why do MRAs ignore that a big number of divorced men don't even want primary custody of their kids?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	42
Comments	165
Date	January 4, 2021 3:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kqbakx/why_do_mras_ignore_that_a_big_number_of_divorced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-mras-ignore-that-a-big-number-of-divorced.350700 https://theredarchive.com/post/350700

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Severity of Suicide Attempts