Where are the hot men?

Squidwrd_Tortellini · 2020-12-27T20:16:27+00:00

maybe my standards are too high or i'm shallow

is patriarchal brainwashing targeted at women designed to benefit low value men.

Softrito · 2020-12-27T20:25:25+00:00

I saw a hot guy driving in the opposite side in a traffic jam and I did a double take. It's ridiculous how hard it is to find stunners.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-12-27T20:03:28+00:00

It's true.

Wanting to be sexually attracted to your partner isn't shallow. Don't need to pay lip service to that gaslighting here. This is a women's space run by women! 💪👸

Gambit12345 · 2020-12-27T20:45:22+00:00

I relate. I’m very picky. I love pretty boys (think young John Frusciante) and it just so happens when I find a man attractive irl he’s gay. I think the fact that gay men tend to put more attention into their looks than majority of straight men is what makes them attractive to me . I go to the gym often and very few actually have legit bodies (most are average gym goers) and of those with hot bodies, even less have handsome faces. I don’t think your standards are too high it’s just that the pickings are slim

scritchandsnaff · 2020-12-27T20:41:44+00:00

You're not shallow, you're just high value. You have standards and a lot of men don't reach those standards, and that's for the better.

Keep up the high standards and once you find a man that does turn you on it'll all be worth it.

Think of yourself as a goddess, would a goddess be attracted to the common man? Probably not, and there's a reason for that c;

TheSuspiciousChard · 2020-12-27T22:33:34+00:00

Men are not hot. They are also pretty bad in bed and pretty bad in relationships.

I was born straight but at this point I’d rather make love to a woman than touch another man. They are gonna turn all women gay.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-12-27T21:03:00+00:00

I run short marathons (5k, 10k), and I've met some men like that who are pretty attractive and fit. I think if you want to meet someone active, you have to be active and meet them that way.

I don't think it's shallow to want to be attracted to someone who date.

However, I do think it's important to realize not many men will meet our standards. Finding someone who is as educated, and attractive is hard. But he also has to be a decent person and have similar relationship goals.

It's a minority of men that will fit reasonable criteria. They exist but they're not common.

It's entirely possible most of us won't find HVM. But I'd rather be single than settle.

2020-12-27T21:32:33+00:00

There are barely any attractive men anymore, women are the attractive ones. I live in a small country with population of less than 3 million people and there are noo attractive men! They all look avarage and barely take care of themselves. I traveled to a lot of places and I've seen some really beautiful men(men in Paris omg😍) but whenever I came back home, I'm always disappointed because I'm surounded by ugly men who look like they shower once a week! Not only that but most men are LVM, even the few good looking ones :( Can't wait till I'll move to another country!

ShoshannaDreyfus · 2020-12-27T23:32:33+00:00

Yeah I had this issue but I realised its because I'm not straight lol. Admittedly a lot of men are really ugly so it's not necessarily that but have you considered the fact you might prefer women?

boredbitch2020 · 2020-12-27T23:50:46+00:00

I worked a field service job for 5 years, meeting dozens of people every day. I found exactly 2 attractive men in the wild.

vmuzondi · 2020-12-27T20:19:08+00:00

[deleted]

2020-12-27T21:30:31+00:00

Men aren't harassed by society to look good. Why would they?

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-12-27T21:02:33+00:00

Last time I saw a good looking guy, was a few months ago, and the irony is he was wearing a mask ofc. I just thought he might be handsome underneath lol. I also need hair on his head and him being fit, and to have some basic fashion sense. Is that too much to ask? Majority of men of my age are overweight. It's so sad, given it's much easier for them to stay in shape.

GettingOffTheCrazy · 2020-12-27T23:25:50+00:00

I'm usually not attracted to a man until I get to know him. If he pursues me, plans nice dates and always pays, respects my boundaries, is intelligent and funny and is fun to be around - that is usually enough to create some sparks.

Also he needs to be clean, have good manners etc (the basics).

They are out there. I have been dating one for about two months. Thanks to this awesome group I also continuously vet him to make sure he stays this way. The jury is still out but so far so good.

ps - your standards are in no way too high or shallow.

frogchickenhorse · 2020-12-27T23:05:45+00:00

When I think back, I wasn’t attracted to my boyfriends either and that is probably why the sex was so bad. This recent bout was due to isolation and touch deprivation. I’ve readmitted to myself that I prefer being single than to put myself thru any of it again. So it will take a unicorn to change my mind. I will live my best life.

jgtjc · 2020-12-27T21:31:44+00:00

Objectively hot men are very rare.

No shade, but how did you manage to have sex with men you weren’t attracted to? I know this happens a lot, but I wanna make sure I get it. Would you get into it simply because they made you feel attractive and that compensated?

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2020-12-27T23:16:25+00:00

The most attractive men put time and effort into their appearance and take good care of themselves! A lot of men just don’t put in much effort because they can easily find a quick booty call from a pickmeisha to keep them company🤢 Though I’ve met some pretty hot men who either are LV or don’t have much of a personality so they no longer appeal to me

ravenx1979 · 2020-12-27T21:54:02+00:00

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to your partner.
Honestly I ask myself this all the time, but I'm older. When I see men on tv/movies my age and they are attractive, I wonder where they are in real life. Its obviously possible for a man in his 40s to be reasonably fit and have good hair and clothes. I really don't think I'm asking for much.

warinmymind94 · 2020-12-28T02:01:43+00:00

First off, get rid of the mindset that its you or that you're too shallow. You sound stunning and like you have standards! If you were with unattractive men in the past it could have just been a reflection of past low self esteem, maybe boredom, or maybe you felt like you had to have a man because of seeing others in relationships. Maybe you were attracted to them then and now you have better standards. Forgive yourself and try to identify what the cause was, and use it as a lesson moving forward or if it still needs work get to it. Tbh, these past guys sounded like they were all horrible and selfish in bed if they couldn't even get you wet. Guys being bad in bed for me is a huge turnoff and if I stayed with them my sexual attraction to them would just slowly die more and more.

Its perfectly normal to want a man thats actually attractive, maybe you are attracted to guys that look more like models: clear skin, nice hair, great teeth, great body, nice clothes, very clean and fresh. A lot of the guys I see in public are wearing baggy sweatpants, graphic tees, or running shorts and are unkempt. Its rare that I see a man that actually looks put together out in public thats near my own age and it's a shame. This grungy / post workout look / joggers/wanna lil Wayne isn't attractive to me.

superderpina_ · 2020-12-27T23:23:45+00:00

Try women maybe?

apple_cores · 2020-12-28T02:05:03+00:00

I feel you. I’m also 5’9 and attractive and I’ve been with 4 men (all 6’3 or taller) who were crazy attractive. All were shit lol but I can still look back and be like damn no wonder I held on for so long 😩 don’t do it ladies. But now I’m wondering if I will ever find anyone who is both attractive, tall, and a good man. The odds are so slim. It is what it is.

2020-12-28T08:50:37+00:00

I have gone years between sexual encounters because I don’t sleep with ugly men. So that’s how rare they are

TexiMcCrae · 2020-12-28T03:59:05+00:00

As a person that also lives in an expensive part of Southern California, I was disappointed lol. I found more attractive men in Virginia and Texas. I think the California thing is a huge stereotype because dear god the pickins are SLIM. Just keep your standards and wait

janatztxcxxx · 2020-12-28T06:16:45+00:00

Well, they aren’t in New York for sure.

I’ve met good looking guys in Sweden and in Germany.

frustratedmarxistfem · 2020-12-28T03:47:42+00:00

I dont know. I have been attracted to men a lot and they dont always have to be like movie star hot to feel that way, I'd actually wonder if you may be into women? But also, vaginas are not like dicks. You can find a guy attractive and still not be sexually aroused, you could be uncomfortable, nervous, defeated into believing you'll never cum, anxious, etc.

jgtjc · 2020-12-27T20:47:52+00:00

If you’re in the Bay Area the odds are good but the goods are odd...

Maybe it also has to do with your age? Even when I was 22 I didn’t find 22 year olds attractive. They’re too skinny and pretty. Like when girls were obsessing over Aaron Carter or Justin Timberlake, I loved Gary Oldman.

entpgirl415 · 2020-12-28T17:16:14+00:00

It also ever so slightly depends on where you live, because I live in the greater Miami area, and let me tell you that there are so many hot guys around me. Obviously since it’s Miami a lot of them are meat heads and just care about their looks, but I’ve always said to my friends at least we have some eye candy around us. It makes me feel better when I look nice to leave my house knowing that a majority of people in my area are also trying to look nice!

Title	Where are the hot men?
Author	grogusuperfan
Upvotes	163
Comments	45
Date	December 27, 2020 7:16 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kl9gzf/where_are_the_hot_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/where-are-the-hot-men.357130 https://theredarchive.com/post/357130

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