HumanSockPuppet's Guide to Teasing Bitches

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August 9, 2016

It's high time we discussed the matter of how to tease bitches. It's no exaggeration to say that teasing is the single most fundamental skill that you must master in your quest to become a pussy wizard of hallowed legend. But doing so can be a daunting task, especially if you lack the talent for wordplay or verbal improvisation that teasing often requires.

Fear not. The Sockpuppet has your back.

The truth is, teasing comes down to a simple which, once you internalize it, will serve as a solid framework for your practice of wordplay, and transform you into a prodigal panty-moistening predator.

The aim of this guide is to teach you this formula at its most fundamental level. From there, you will be able to add your own flairs and flourishes, developing a style that is truly your own.


1) There's more to seduction than just teasing.

This guide will cover the verbal aspects of sexual escalation through teasing. But teasing, while certainly important, is not sufficient to get a bitch in bed. You must combine it with the other seduction essentials (such as kino, comfort-building, venue-changing, isolation, etc.) in order to bring home the lay. If all you do is tease and joke, then you're nothing more than a performing monkey, a clown.

Work on all of the fundamentals together, and combine them with teasing to effect solid game.

2) Teasing is best used on girls who don't already feel like they know you.

We all know that bitches have a dualistic mating strategy: they want the Jerkboy Alpha Sperm Donor to squirt a strong baby inside them, and they want a Dependable Beta Money Dispenser to foot the bill for their IKEA nesting instincts. The goal of teasing is to make girls rapidly identify you as the Sperm Donor so you can rustle their beef curtains ASAP. However, this is much harder to accomplish if the bitch has already mentally put you into the Beta category.

You should take this guide as a tutorial on how to quickly escalate towards sex with NEW bitches, or with bitches who haven't seen you in a long time (effectively giving you a clean slate to rebuild your identity). Of course, you could be a fag and use this on your long-time oneitis if you really wanted to - just don't be surprised when she becomes indignant with your sudden attempt to change categories, and the shit tests and shaming start raining down with biblical fury.

3) The hotter you are, the hotter the bitches you can successfully tease.

Sexual escalation from square-one means that first impressions reign supreme. Since humans use visual cues (fitness, fashion, posture, grooming) to make quick judgments, bitches will respond better to teasing if you look good. The higher your SMV, the higher quality of bitches you will permitted to target. The limit comes when she thinks she's better than you. If she thinks she's above you when you when you drop your line, your words will hit a stonewall bitchface - you'll see it. This is a cue that you need to aim for lower targets for now and work on raising your SMV.

That's not to say that all bitches have the correct measure of their own SMV. Bitches can be broken. From time to time you'll run into bitches who are so self-entitled that no one short of George Clooney through a cocaine haze would have a chance. Don't get discouraged if you throw out a practice tease and some lower-level bitch shuts you down. It just means that turbocunt is overestimating herself (pretty common, especially in the West), and you can happily move on to a more well-adjusted prospect. Don't take this shit personally.

4) Never backpedal from a tease.

When you've spent your entire life treating bitches like Fabergé eggs, teasing and negging them may make you feel uncomfortable. You may feel a twinging instinct to smooth off your sick burn with a "just kidding" or some other man-boobed apology.

Do not fucking do this.

A strong man teases a bitch because she's in HIS domain, and he'll do as he likes. And a bitch is okay with being teased by a man she's attracted to because she believes in his power, and his playful repartee is all the assurance she needs to know he's on her side.

Don't ruin your powerplay by checking if she's okay. Women aren't THAT fragile, you fucking sexist. Administer your clam slam with the knowledge that your bitch will be grateful that you're in charge.

The Fundamentals of Teasing

Principle 1: Speak to women as though they are children - because emotionally, they are.

This should resonate with those of you who work with kids, have kids of your own, grew up with younger siblings, or interact with the kids of your family/friends.

When you speak to a child, they'll typically respond in one of two ways: either they'll grow increasingly excited and engaged, or they'll suddenly disengage into flat-out boredom. The two responses are so dramatic that it's impossible not to see it in their faces and body language. An interested child will smile, face you, fidget, bounce, paw at you, ask you an avalanche of follow up questions, etc. A bored child's expression will become flat, their bodies will droop, their eyes will immediately begin searching for something else to stimulate them, or they'll mutter an unceremonious "...oh" and straight-up walk away from you.

The way a child reacts to your words depends entirely on how you choose to speak with them and answer their questions. If you give them a long-winded fact-filled tirade that eliminates all mystery, they'll get bored. If you entice them with a vague but dramatic image that stimulates their imagination, they'll become captivated and animated.

Why is this?

Well, it's not because kids don't want their questions answered. It's because they have short attention spans and a burning desire to play and learn. Children want to examine new ideas via their imaginations, because fantasy is much more compelling than facts. Facts are the provenance of reality, of responsibility, of adulthood. They're not ready for that now. They want to fill in the unknown gaps with the spectacular.

The same is true of grown women. They have the same small passions and cravings for fantasy that children have - girls just want to have fun. Whether you believe the evopsych explanation for this or not is irrelevant, because you can speak to women as though they are children and observe first-hand that they respond identically to children.

This is why understanding children is a gateway to understanding women. If you can get good at holding the interest of kids, then you're just a short trip away from holding the same power over bitches. There's nothing that dries a vagina faster than a bland deluge of data, and there's nothing that moistens a vagina faster than a vague riposte that lingers on the edge of plausible reality and leans toward exciting fantasy.

Execution: When you're in seduction mode, don't talk to a bitch in pure information as if she were an adult. Instead, tantalize her the way you would a child. Be vague whenever you can, and leave the task of filling in the details to her imagination. She'll always make your stories bigger in her own mind than you could possibly accomplish as a boring fact-slinging braggart.

Principle 2: Use targeted disqualification to create tension and move in the direction of sex.

"Push-pull". It's a term that is nearly as old as the seduction industry itself. It's a classic tactic that builds sexual tension, sets fires to a woman's loins, and fills her little head with more questions than she could ever hope to untangle while on an emotional high. "Does he like me? What is he thinking? Am I winning him over? What's that feeling? Is this love? Oh my god, did I wet myself?"

Teasing is the foundation for creating a frame of push-pull.

A good tease should have several elements:

1) A good tease is an accusation.

Imagine you're a hotshot lawyer, and you're cross-examining this bitch. You've got no evidence against her, just a gut feeling that she's up to no good. If you want to bring this case home, you need to stir up her feelings and get a rise out of her so she admits her crime to the courtroom in a fit of passion. This is the frame of mind you want to adopt when teasing - remorseless, relentless, and in pursuit of righteous lulz.

2) The accusation should be something that is obviously false.

The implausibility of the accusation is what distinguishes a tease from a real criticism.

Example: If you try to tease a gymnast chick by accusing her of being clumsy, she might think you're leveling a serious criticism against her. Clumsiness is a real concern for someone in her trade. Your tease will come off as a mean-spirited exchange of facts. That will make you seem like a hostile, boring sperg with more interest in data than sex.

Instead, accuse the gymnast of being an obvious exhibitionist for enjoying those tight leotards a little toooooo much. Or ask her if spending so much time off the ground technically makes her an "airhead", cuz airheads make the worst girlfriends.

When it's clear the accusation isn't serious, that's the signal to her that you're inviting her to play. And by starting the game with her IMMEDIATELY on the defensive, you've established that she wins only when she has successfully qualified herself to you. You are both judge and prize.

3) The accusation should be something that, if true, disqualifies her from being a sex partner or girlfriend.

This is the push in the push-pull dynamic. An effective push makes a girl believe (if only superficially) that something she wants is getting farther away, and she must give chase if she ever hopes to have it. Girls want to have sex with and be the girlfriends/wives of dominant attractive men, so your push should disqualify her from these two things.

  • Tell the whore carrying an armload of Coach, Louis Vuitton, Jimmy Choo, Tory Burch, and Yves Saint-Laurent shopping bags that you could obviously NEVER trust her to balance your joint bank account.

  • Tell the slut who's begging for attention in the short skirt that her comprehensive discourse on anarcho-syndicated commune economics is too controversial for you to ever consider sleeping with her.

  • Tell the well-read, smarmy, pseudo-intellectual classical-lit booknerd bitch that she could learn a thing or two from reading the sex tips column in Cosmo - and no cheating with Cliff Notes.

Bitches know that sex is the only real tool they have for keeping a man's attention. Tangled deep within their personal labyrinth of insecurities, they all KNOW this. That's why the less urgently you seem to push towards sex, the more confused and intrigued she will be. In the mind of a woman, confusion and intrigue are sexual hydrazine primed to send your dickrocket on a tour of her inner rings.

4) Be aware of your surroundings to avoid pre-emptively activating her defenses.

Regular people (i.e. people who don't come to the Red Pill for fucking dating advice like we losers) know instinctively that when a man sexually teases a woman, he wants to see her naked. This will backfire on you if you try to make a move in mixed company. "Mother hens", friends of hers that you haven't yet won over, boyfriends, and jealous beta orbiters will move to throw a wrench in your carnal designs, and they'll do it with a vulgarity that's nigh impossible to recover from gracefully - a punishment for your presumptuous gaffe.

If you are in such mixed company and you find yourself with an tantalizing opportunity to neg a bitch, dial back your tease to something NON-SEXUAL in nature. The other rules for negging still apply, but cutting out the sex angle will give you a measure of plausible deniability from interceptors, yet still provide you with the superiority and DGAF position you need when the time comes for the real sexual escalation. Save your sexy negs for when the group is comfortable with you, or when you've isolated the bitch.

5) Turn a successful tease into a long game.

There are two common signs that your tease has struck gold:

  1. The bitch will respond with frantic amused denial as she tries (in her delighted disorientation) to ease you into a frame less tingle-inducing.
  2. The bitch will respond with keen purposeful escalation, agreeing and amplifying your accusations in the clear direction of mutual seduction.

If it's case number 1, you'll be captain of this mission from start to finish, so take charge and steer it. If it's case number 2, then your fucking job is done already. Move to isolation when the time is right and shoot your abortion into her.

Either way, once you land a successful tease, you needn't go digging for more unless the bitch needs some more warming. If that's the case, make your next tease related somehow to the first, and compound her two medium sized "flaws" into one big disqualifying whopper.

Then, take whatever invented character flaw you've disqualified her for and turn it into a running gag that you reintroduce throughout your interactions with her. Let it become a private in-joke between you and her, a shared experience around which you can stir up memories of good feelings and build a deepening comfort which is critical for seduction.

Execution: Make your teases patently-absurd accusations that disqualify her from ever being your lover or girlfriend. You initialize the game (fun), you set the frame with her as the pursuer (you are judge and prize), you create a push-pull dynamic to keep her reeling and feeling (drama), you keep the subject on sex (as a preamble to later events in the evening, provided she impresses you), and you make your intentions clear as day (no creep, all stud).

Teasing in the Larger Context

So, now you know the lowdown of how to tease bitches. With enough practice, you'll mix these principles into your own persona to create a surefire strategy for priming new lays.

But like many aspects of the Red Pill, teasing isn't all about giggling girls and early-morning underwear hunting. It has greater significance when you consider it in a larger context.

Teasing is a type of qualification. It's a strategy for enforcing your standards on women as a way of judging and filtering them. It's not the only way to enforce your standards, merely the method of choice when dealing with women specifically.

There are other, special methods for qualifying and categorizing men, depending on what function they will have in your life. The same frame of mind that you use to filter bitches will also aid you in filtering friends, allies, business partners, and even competitors. A strong, responsible man pursues happiness through thoughtful, critical choices of his social connections.

Take some time and think about the ways in which you qualify and categorize new potential friends. What makes a man a good friend? Or a good business partner? What makes a man trustworthy or untrustworthy? Could you break down your filtering process for men, the way I've done for bitches here today? In what ways do you presently enforce your standards? In what ways could you stand to improve?

These are all important questions for you to consider in the long term, because sustainable happiness depends on your ability to filter a good social network.

But that's the long term. For now, take the night off. Go forth, and let your teasing stir a chorus of giggles audible in the Halls of Vajhalla, where the brave may slay forever.

Post Information
Title HumanSockPuppet's Guide to Teasing Bitches
Author HumanSockPuppet
Upvotes 1066
Comments 122
Date 09 August 2016 03:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]ModeratorPaperStreetVilla134 points135 points  (0 children) | Copy

and shoot your abortion into her.

I've heard a lot of hilarious terms in my day, this one is a first. Kudos!

[–]5JS1XBG64A 80 points80 points [recovered] | Copy

Excellent post. I enjoy your writing style.

Confidence is absolutely key when it comes to teasing. Stuttering some sexual tease in a low mumble while not even making eye contact is a sure fire way to get slapped and labeled a creep. On the other hand, making your comment with an authoritative voice, staring her straight in the eyes, and with a grin that puts Jay from the Trident gum commercials to shame will build attraction like you wouldn't believe.

Remember, stick to your guns. I've been guilty of the "Just kidding" nonsense at the slightest sign of what I now recognize to be false indignation. It ruined any success I was having, and made me look like a beta loser. Do you know why? Because I was. Like OP said, don't EVER do that.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 77 points78 points  (10 children) | Copy

Confidence is absolutely key when it comes to teasing. Stuttering some sexual tease in a low mumble while not even making eye contact is a sure fire way to get slapped and labeled a creep. On the other hand, making your comment with an authoritative voice, staring her straight in the eyes, and with a grin that puts Jay from the Trident gum commercials to shame will build attraction like you wouldn't believe.


I tried to capture this "surefire delivery" in my writing tone so I wouldn't have to devote a separate section to it, but it bears repeating: if your body language, eye contact, and tone of voice are not congruent with your bold words, she won't buy it.

The words ultimately matter less than the delivery. I've literally shouted "Bleurgah-bleurgah-bleeuuurrrrggggh!!" at a bitch and gotten her laughing.

Remember, stick to your guns. I've been guilty of the "Just kidding" nonsense at the slightest sign of what I now recognize to be false indignation.

Also important. No matter what her reaction, you hold the fucking line.

In the beginning guys will do this shit for bitches so they can get laid. But the long term goal is to make the remarks for your own entertainment, not hers. This is what it means to divorce yourself from outcomes and just enjoy the process.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (4 children) | Copy

If you'd include conversation examples - that would be great.

[–]1SexdictatorLucifer45 points46 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is where it ends. We can tell you how it works, now you can go out and make your own conversation examples. Game is intuitive not fact and example oriented. The only way to gain more intuition is gain more experience.

[–]RedAsBlood8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Agreed. Thats moving into PUA territory.

[–]sorad7922 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I can definitely recognize how "just kidding" is a major tell for beta behavior, but a lot of my jokes and teasing for both boys and girls will be borderline offensive, and so I whip out the "jk" a lot so that (good) people aren't internally raging at me. I pretty much always get laughs, but the issue is I definitely aim for more than medium-sized flaws (because it's fun). It's also very possible that I'm hamstering and just need to cut down the jk's.

[–]kinklianekoff10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Backtracking on an offensive joke makes the joke less socially acceptable than just letting body language and delivery convey that it is humour. This is because if you apologize for it you lose the social safeguard in place, the pretense of entertainment. The comment then needs to be taken at face value. THis is by the way how all stand up comedians seem to get away with the most offensive stuff. They never qualify their material.

[–]RobertCarraway14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hamstering. There are ways to indicate you are being playful that don't scream "capitulating loser." I love pushing boundaries. NEVER EVER use "jk".

  • Wink. Easy, playful, confident.
  • Give a playful nudge, punch (playful) or poke
  • ignore mis-step, and follow up with something that genuinely expresses interest and respect, so that they quickly move on.

I can forgive you for being borderline offensive. I cannot forgive you for being a borderline offensive wimp. Women feel the same.

[–]Honduran15 points16 points  (6 children) | Copy

Should we just remove "just kidding" from our vocabulary altogether?

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

If someone gets really aggressively butthurt then you should whip it out

[–]redfield13 5 points5 points [recovered] | Copy

Offence is taken, not given.

If you've "aggressively butthurt" someone, you were either tone deaf with shitty delivery (texting jokes/teases can be difficult in this respect) or the person had an overreaction of a response and they can go fuck themselves.

Yes, remove "just kidding" from your vocabulary unless it's part of the tease, like a rug pull after a deadpan comment, or something along those lines. "Just kidding" is back-pedalling and a surrender of frame otherwise.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

or the person had an overreaction and they can go fuck themselves

Yeah, generally speaking this isn't a good mindset when dealing with people. If you've legitimately pissed someone off, and you care about their opinion of you, you have to know when to apologize or backpedal.

[–]redfield13 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

That's why I included the whole "tone deaf delivery" thing. And if you legitimately fucked up with someone whose opinion you care about, you apologize, not backpedal. Showing respect and covering your tracks are two very different things. I understand where you're coming from though; was this clearer?

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours35 points36 points  (6 children) | Copy

My favorite is to tease them about her tits being too big. Usually it gets them out in view and sets the stage as a sexual one. Works in text and in person.

If she has big jugs it can work really well, since most guys want big tits, makes her self conscious and insecure. If they're small she gets a bit of an ego boost that someone might actually like her tits, but it's mixed with the insecurities of maybe they're too big. To be fair, I don't give a fuck how big her tits are unless they're huge or look like shit. A nice ass makes me stop thinking clearly, thus a great turd cutter is my kryptonite.

[–]stawek14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'd be careful with flat girls. They are most likely insecure already about their tits and saying something like that may actually hurt them.

Now, obviously if you've already established a good rapport and she feels secure, she will take it as a joke and laugh with you, most likely by saying something like "yeah, i'm flat at the front, but my back side is legendary"

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm never careful. Fuck that. I say what I want and rarely apologize. The only time I'll say sorry is if I bash her in the face while switching positions. You want exactly the response you get when she is insecure, gets then to stop being logical and start feeling, at which point they are clay you can mold into a cock sucking fuck machine.

[–]PM-ME-YOUR-SEXTAPE7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

But I love big tits. Your tits are too large for me would backfire

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not if you use it right. The point is to use her insecurities, done well she will show them to you. Once that threshold is crossed, it's an easy path into her pants.

[–]trinitys_dildo6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had huge success with asking a girl if she'd had a boob job knowing full well she hadn't.

She was 24 and a virgin (though I didn't know it at the time). She had amazing B/C cup tits. It was almost 10 years ago so I don't remember exactly how it unfolded but it she laughed and clearly took it as a compliment

[–]MDSPL34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your post is like the RP drill sergeant.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

3) The accusation should be something that, if true, disqualifies her from being a sex partner or girlfriend.

This is a stunningly deep observation. It wraps push+pull+teasing and disqualification into one deep statement.

[–]balajig80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Could you give an example of this kind?

[–]nevva_Again23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

And by starting the game with her IMMEDIATELY on the defensive, you've established that she wins only when she has successfully qualified herself to you

Gina tingles are born in the defensive crouch of a woman. - Roissy.

[–]RedDeadlift19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is an incredibly helpful post. I'll add that it's important to keep teasing even after getting the lay. Case in point: I recently banged a HB8 who I really liked by teasing her and having a DNGAF attitude. After the lay though, I stopped teasing as much and started saying panty-drying things like "just kidding", etc., basically switching to beta behavior. Lo and behold, she predictably went cold.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

The comment didn't drive her away, specifically. The beta behavior that drives those comments did. You likely did some other beta things that you didn't notice.

"JK" is an easy way to throw sand in the vagina, yet easily recoverable. It's the other things that compound with it that kill desire.

[–]PedophilePriest40 points41 points  (3 children) | Copy

I wanted to comment on your second point about it must be something that's obviously untrue.

Women are very attracted to liars.

For most women lying is their most sharply honed skill. Telling a woman an obvious lie, doesn't have to be teasing or sexual.

Telling your cute office coworker that your a secret agent, the girl in the country that your a ninja or your band groupie that your a wealthy cattle rancher all work wonders as well. Men don't typically lie about themselves that way because they think that once it's clear that their lying they've lost when in reality that's when the game begins.

Your inviting her to play in her favorite game, lying, utilizing her most powerful skill, but conducted entirely in your frame. She'll typically see how far you can take it, shit test you constantly and with every exaggeration and doubling down she will eat that shit up. Women love fantasy, they couldn't care less about veracity.

Also since most men are horrible liars and conversationalists it's even easier to stand out if your halfway practiced. Tell her something she hasn't heard before.

[–]ErenYeager911 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is so true. I also noticed that girls love braggers that overexaggerate. Especially when it comes to women. "I fucked 3 new chicks last week" etc. Either they believe you so it's all good or you are perceived as a liar, which is also good. Liar is manipulative and by that have more chance to survive. Not only that but by laying you speak to women in their language.

[–]PedophilePriest0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It also shows that you are not taking them seriously, instantly putting you above them which is the natural state where their lizard brain creates lust. An obvious and playful lie can be an absolute panty dropper.

[–]Ecclesia_Andune9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

I overdo this because i like the bantz more than i like actual pulling and generally destroy them much to the amusement of my friends. I may still be in the anger phase.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're disqualifying because right now, deep down you're afraid of failing. You're understandably afraid to connect with a woman, and even more so afraid to attempt to connect and miss.

[–]Ecclesia_Andune1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm pretty sure it's more just down to me being in the anger phase and currently fucking hating women. It'll pass

[–]RojoEscarlata4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who wants a girl who can't handle the bantz anyway.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine31 points32 points  (8 children) | Copy

The issue I constantly grapple with when it comes to advice regarding personal interaction is that implementing it feels unnatural. Understand, I am really good at connecting with people, making them laugh, and it is rare that I experience a socially awkward moment.


If all you do is tease and joke, then you're nothing more than a performing monkey, a clown.

My lack of sexual success is a testament to that. However, while I have no doubt that the methods you describe above work for you, I cannot bring myself to intentionally enter a potentially awkward social situation.

This is a failure on my part. I have recently started to understand that it is called "sexual tension" for a reason - it's not supposed to feel comfortable. While I have no problem pushing my comfort zone in almost all areas in my life, when it comes to social interaction I hate experimenting. I was extremely socially awkward in my early teens, now that I've finally figured it out I don't want to fuck it up. I know how shitty it is to not be able to connect with people.

Ultimately it comes down to a change in mindset that I have to internalize. There's no time in life to be a coward.

[–]Krunjar26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Test out stuff on girls you're "only just" attracted to, then, if it doesn't work its not such a big deal. If you try it on girls you really like then you might get worried about blowing it, making the whole learning process more stressful. Not to mention less hotter girls are much easier to come by.

The stuff that works on the less hot girls will work on the prettier ones, only better, because they'll be less used to hearing it.

Its like if you were going to do carpentry, would you buy the most expensive wood to learn with, or get some cheaper stuff first and when you're more confident, move up to the riskier stuff?

(Not that you should be too worried about rejection, but, usually that goes away once you've had some success, because you know you can do it)

I mean if you have worries about doing this, stack all the odds in your favour so you can learn, then gradually remove the stabilisers, I know it sucks and everyone wants to go straight for the top prize, but, thats life.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 27 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy

implementing it feels unnatural

So does driving stick, or tightrope walking, or cooking, when you first start doing it. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes.

If you're worried about looking stupid, practice on kids. No one cares if you look dumb when talking to kids. Keep working on your anxiety in the meantime.

Eventually you're gonna have to take the dive, bro. Let go of your pride and join the rest of us stinky, imperfect apes. Most of us are making it up as we go anyways.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you're worried about looking stupid

I'm not worried about looking stupid. I don't have approach anxiety. I'm dealing with a more fundamental, emotional issue that specifically limits my ability to escalate with women. Again, not making excuses, but it's there.

join the rest of us stinky, imperfect apes

Dude, some of us religious folk enjoy worshiping the golden pig.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm dealing with a more fundamental, emotional issue that specifically limits my ability to escalate with women.

We've been speaking in PM for awhile, and you still haven't elabourated on exactly what that issue is. So when you say

not making excuses

I don't believe you. Not anymore. You ARE making excuses, because you've been riding that rationalization since we started.

Stop making excuses, beat back your pride, and do what needs to be done.

If you choose to stay as you are, then your lack of progress is on you.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm dealing with a more fundamental, emotional issue that specifically limits my ability to escalate with women.

Every newb thinks they have a unique roadblock.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol HSP already called me on it. You're too slow.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So does driving stick

Hah, Americans!

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You'll be amazed when you finally launch out into the unknown. You'll get what you want.

[–]aclewis86 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The more you pushpull, the more natural it becomes.

[–]Spread_The_Red5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

3) The accusation should be something that, if true, disqualifies her from being a sex partner or girlfriend.

I honestly dont get when this would be appropriate. If she int super into you and you throw out a neg she might blow up and bombard with shit tests. A shy girl might take it too seriously and withdraw. Superficial insults are okay but could you explain a little more on 3?

Bringing up the prospect of a relationship seems like a bad idea in general but maybe thats some social inadequacy of mine. Is it on the same level to neg regarding something non sexual such as implying they are shit at their job or a terrible person?

[–]RojoEscarlata5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You NEVER bring relationship talk/ideas into the conversation, not even as a neg/joke.

What OP meant was that you disqualify certain attributes in her that make her not worth of a relationship, or the like.

Teasing them about their persona in a playful manner.

With girls who I have not seen in a while I tell them "I haven't see you in so many Kilograms (years, days, timr, etc), makes more sense in Spanish.

Funny thing, I never imply if it's weight up or down, but silly women always go for the former, lmao.

[–]torodinson2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you bring them into your frame, you shouldn't have to worry about this unless you fuck up. "See this (behavior or feature you are teasing about) is why I don't date girls who..." don't make it creepy and it won't be creepy, if she is attracted to you and you bring it up in a teasing way she should react well. If she calls you out about wanting to date be in a relationship, come back noting you are talking about why you wouldn't date her not that you would.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think it would be better to turn it around as "can't take a joke/somebodys sensitive /making it personal "

[–]swimngolf5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I burst out laughing reading this:

"Does he like me? What is he thinking? Am I winning him over? What's that feeling? Is this love? Oh my god, did I wet myself?"

However, its so so so so soooo true!

[–]ezravanrijswijk10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best piece of literature I ever read.

[–]ultimatewpierdol4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

For some reason I read it with Samuel L. Jackson's voice.

Jokes aside, thanks. Especially since I'm recently in a situation where I need this.

[–]Fatboy2147 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post. Treating women like children is really what can give you inner game that works. They very much are exactly like kids

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy


one question though: how often do you tease. You say, once you land a successful one, you shouldn't be digging for more.

But that is not beneficial to the seduction dynamic, since the more you pushpull, the more her attraction spikes, until you overdo it, at least that's my experience.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

You should never stop teasing her.

When I say "don't go digging for more", I mean don't switch up and tease her about something completely different. Pick a disqualifying trait and keep teasing her about that thing in particular.

When you playfully turn the disqualification her identity, she'll work to change it. But you want to give her just one to work on, otherwise it feels more like work for her than fun.

[–]PaperbackParrot1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Could you theoretically use the tease subject about something you wish to change in the woman (such as dieting habits, where she gets her news, her bad opinions etc.)? Has it ever worked for you?

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. That's entering the realm of serious criticism. She'll pick up on it, get butthurt, and shut you out. Women are especially sensitive to being judged (which is why they invented shaming tactics).

Save your custom modifications until after you've made her fall in love. Then you can make it one of the tasks she works on to earn gifts of attention.

[–]Unholy_VI2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she's wearing a shirt or hat with a sports team on it negging the team in a playful way has been a go to of mine over the years. It usually gets me into a playful exchange.

Example: Big Broncos fan are you? (While making a disgusted face and shaking head sadly).

Girl: (smiling) Oh hoo...super bowl champs baby! Whose YOUR team?

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sexual transition: if she's wearing the emblem or colours of a team in a different state/country, accuse her of disloyalty.

[–]WingedHussarx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The accusation tip is soooo good

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus write a fucking book and get my money HumanSockPuppet

[–]valdirtheblue3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy

This was an incredibly funny and well written post. I'd love to give this a try at the minute but 'game' is not possible right for me right now.

[–]Dystaxia9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy

Game is always possible. Weak excuse dude.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy


Don't just tease bitches you want to fuck. Tease fat bitches, tease bitchy bitches, tease old ladies. If AWALT, then every woman is an opportunity to practice and learn.

[–]EvolvedA3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is so true. Every woman likes at least some soft teasing! It is fun, playful, dominant attention...

[–]1StoicCrane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Question. When the HB3 blimp and hop on the carousel ride when the carnival is closed then what? For many guys, myself included the women are so "wilted" the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

Push pull is effortless when there's a genuine mutual attraction but when a chick has nothing going on (most women in the West) it's tough to get turned on and game.

[–]valdirtheblue4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Fair point, unfortunately I've managed to acquire a perforated ear drum and a horrible smelly ear infection. Currently awaiting minor surgery to correct it! Seriously though, it smells that bad I wouldn't go a hundred yards in front of any woman.

[–]EvolvedA3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

No other day-to-day interactions with women? No nurses nearby? They are used to such smells...

[–]valdirtheblue3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

The Nurse was 40 yrs old. I do talk to everyone at work, but again they mainly consist of older women. Still, off to University in September so there's plenty of young women around!

[–]RobertCarraway3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Habits are built just as effectively when speaking to a 40 year old. And it's the habit you're after.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you can't sling game a 40-year-old, you can't with a 20-year-old.

[–]1-drukpa-kunley-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

All these teases fall into an intellectual category as they press her indignation button, signal your higher SMV by disqualifying her and demonstrating your willingness to upset her.

There is a another class of teasing that is more physical and playful that can be used as well, although it doesn't carry the verbal disqualification, and therefore may not be as effective. But it can be used to get used to practice teasing girls if you're not as quick on your feet mentally. Anything you would do to pester your little sister. Examples:

  • As your opener, try giving her the bird while grinning at her.
  • The old tap on the other shoulder trick.
  • Give her a silly nickname.
  • Challenge her to a thumb wrestle.
  • Accuse her of farting.
  • Shoot rubberbands at her.
  • Pull her hair/pony tail.

If your SMV is high enough, it's hard to go wrong. However, if she's not receptive, never apologize for your tease, and don't let her rejection affect your smile at all.

[–]Black-Pill8 points9 points  (9 children) | Copy

This is the one that I enjoyed the most -

Tell the slut who's begging for attention in the short skirt that her comprehensive discourse on anarcho-syndicated commune economics is too controversial for you to ever consider sleeping with her.

Masterful ... truly. Tip of the Hat good sir.

[–]1empatheticapathetic3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

I loved the word play of this as well. I used to make jokes like this a lot, but since TRP it feels really 'try hard' when I say something overly wordy or verbose. I've noticed friends who still do it and I see my former self in them a lot. Betas with no social calibration. "I gotta make the best joke ever" opposed to having a more cooler IDGAF demeanour and mindset.

HSP is just on the edge of overdoing it there. Any more and the joke might make him look bad, assuming he doesn't have an excess of SMV to back him up.

[–]RedEyesBlueShades3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just by observing how people talk about stuff makes you understand a TON about them.

having a more cooler IDGAF demeanour and mindset.

Which you don't have, yet. How do I know?

HSP is just on the edge of overdoing it there. Any more and the joke might make him look bad, assuming he doesn't have an excess of SMV to back him up.

You are obviously concerned about (not) looking bad! Not quite IDGAF.

Do you really think u/HumanSockPuppet cares about looking bad in his interactions with bitches?

[–]1StoicCrane1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's implying that going overboard with jokes and teases can make one look like clown. HSP posted it himself. It's important to be outcome independent but social awareness and reputation is equally as important if not more so.

Law #5: So much depends on reputation-Guard It With Your Life

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't rehearse it, it'd be natural. But my point is I'd care more about making the perfect joke and getting a strong laugh than using it as a tool in a conversation.

[–]1StoicCrane0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Teasing is just a tool in the arsenal. If it's the only tool a man employs it's liable to get rusty and break. Versatility comes in an array of packages and sizes.

[–]DigitallyDisrupt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A used tool never gets rusty, that's why we refer to unused skills as, my X is rusty.

[–]boomersooner111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In the mind of a woman, confusion and intrigue are sexual hydrazine primed to send your dickrocket on a tour of her inner rings.

Fantastic word choice. Sounds like part of a Neil DeGrasse Tyson monologue about fucking bitches. Thanks for taking the time to share the insight!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

man-boobed apology

excellent post. exactly what we need to hear

[–]drallcom3 -2 points-2 points [recovered] | Copy

My short guide:

  • Make bad jokes all the time to the point where she can't tell if you're serious or not. Never stop.

  • Let your actions tell your true intention. Tough her, lead/drag her around, kiss her.

  • Profit

The long guide is good if you want a detailed and probably better version.

[–]Stythe9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bad jokes are fantastic for many reasons. Aside from the fact that they are often clever wordplay and generally funny, they tend to get an eye rolling reaction from people who misguided think they're better than that sense of humour. This allows for you to make an easy target of their holier the thou attitude whike having fun.

[–]The1WhoCsAll2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Which allows you to show how little you care about what they think of your stupid jokes. It was funny to you, so time to laugh!

[–]DennisVT13 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great post, just a little too much theory, and only a few examples. It would be nice to see these things "in action". TV shows, movies, books, etc.

[–]ATrashMan7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

can i ask you an honest question? are you retarded?

[–]andhakanoon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saving for later study and putting into practice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Question: How much should you tease? Is it something you should use sparingly?

[–]1empatheticapathetic7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

You should be able to tell in the moment. I used to over do it a lot and just be 'the clown' who never escalated sexually. Also never let her break your frame when you're teasing, no one wins.

[–]Askada0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm teasing the shit out of every chick in my office, also sexually, but I'm not gonna escalate because I won't shit where I eat. But I like to joke that they are not "good enough". I may be the clown but that's quite enjoyable tbh. Also good practice.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There's a difference between over doing it and just ending at the right place. The difference between being a guy obsessed with making a joke and a guy just teasing. It's taken me a while to learn the difference.

[–]Pewdielockz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I read a lot about communication the last months, and it actually sounds pretty rational. But implementing it is just so difficult for me. Except for some minor things I actually do automatically now, I just forget to try to behave another way. I'm just in my usual conversation-flow. It isn't that bad, but still needs improvement.

[–]Elfclan300 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ayyy...good post.(and funny).

[–]Cedulus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Looking forward to the latter part concerning how to filter friends, allies, business partners, and even competitors.

Thank you for this post.

[–]meninistMD0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent post, some characteristics are important before is like confidence and holding your stand while delivering the tease, for some it would be hard to come by, I always deliver teases with a smiling face and get "you must be kidding" sometimes, which I always respond to "you don't know my serious face from my humorous face", that usually set the girl back and lose confidence in her judgment and make it easier to continue the tease.

[–]redpillerrr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Love to hear more about how to filter male friends using the same techniques.

[–]diego48480 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you, really good advice... One question though: What if I'm not into dogs?

[–]Novembercriminal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

George Clooney through a cocaine haze

I lost it there. Good post

[–]hazimmm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wish every post on TRP is formatted as humansockpuppets. Just so tidy and ease to read.

[–]ATrashMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you do not write for a living, you should consider it.

[–]rigbed0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What if you make a false accusation and she simply replies blank faces "I have no clue what you're talking about" or says it to someone else, or worse In Front of several people?

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This means one of two things:

  1. She's not attracted to you and does not regard you as a potential sexual partner.

  2. She has Asperger syndrome.

In either case, don't apologize for your remark. You said it for your own entertainment. Move on to a different mark or group that doesn't have a stick up its collective ass.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]DigitallyDisrupt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So you're asking a question in the wrong sub, at the bottom of someone else's post, off to a great start.

[–]Card9860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just commenting for a bookmark on the mobile app. Very good read

[–]OilyB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Brilliant post, I like the creative, crazy arrogant use of language.

[–]hunteeer-5 points-4 points  (15 children) | Copy

I don't get it, sounds like total bullshit. Who the hell wants to talk to a clown idiot? The only one I can see being a child in your sketched scenario is the guy.

[–]N3sh1089 points10 points  (14 children) | Copy

Bring forward an alternative, don't just dismiss and leave.

What do YOU actually do to get your targets?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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