Summary: Getting to know the addict
I had been playing Xbox since I woke up 15 hours ago. Two empty Dominos pizza boxes sat open on my desk just staring.
Right now it's 5 a.m.
Matchmaking is getting slow and my coffee thermos is empty; must be time for bed. I say goodnight to my fellow gamers and turn off the Xbox. The thought of brushing my teeth doesn't enter what's left of my consciousness. Without walking, I move from my chair to the bed.
Two missed calls and a text from my girlfriend.
The only source of light is the brightly lit screen of my laptop. As I type in "p," the text "pornhub.com" automatically appears in the URL of my browser. I'm excited before I even press "enter."
After finishing up, I close my eyes as YouTube lulls me to sleep.
A voice inside mumbles, "I hate myself..."
"If I hate myself, who is the I, and who is myself?"
Tomorrow will be the same.
Pleasure is what happens when your brain receives a signal that an activity is rewarding. The sender of that signal is a neurotransmitter called dopamine.
Almost everything we do releases dopamine. Some things release a lot of dopamine.
For instance, sex with the girl you've been with for 3 years releases dopamine. Surfing a porn website and jerking off to any number of your favorite fantasy scenarios releases a lot of dopamine.
Playing golf releases dopamine. Playing Rainbow Six Siege with your squad against teams that you're slightly better than releases a lot of dopamine.
Eating a strawberry or cucumber releases dopamine. Eating a pepperoni and mushroom pizza releases a lot of dopamine.
It might seem hard to believe that a cucumber releases dopamine, but it does.
The problem we have is we develop a tolerance to these dopamine spikes. Our brains come to expect that any activity less stimulating than a dopamine spiking one isn't worthy of our motivation to do so.
Thus, activities which were once pleasurable to us become chores we can't bear the thought of.
This is essentially what depression is.
When I'm depressed or simply stressed over a long period of time I become driven to do things like eat junk food, watch porn, and play video games. This is because these are some of the activities that release enough dopamine to motivate a depressed mind.
These are also things I did often as a kid, when my brain was the most malleable it will ever be. I developed certain connections in a my brain that will probably never go away.
For this reason, if you've ever known someone who had a drug problem early on in life, you know they will always be an addict. The connection is too strong for your brain to unlearn it.
The next day started just the same. I browsed Reddit in bed before I finally found enough gusto to get up and make coffee.
But then something happened.
As we played Xbox that night, we started to get matched up with pro teams. It was exciting-- until we started losing...and losing, and losing. It wasn't a pleasurable experience anymore.
The flow of dopamine stopped abruptly. I took that opportunity to return my Xbox to the store. It felt liberating--just like it did the other times.
The first time it was Wal-Mart, then Best Buy, you get the picture.
My pre-frontal cortex, or the consciously thinking part of the brain, did not want to buy Xboxes and play the shit out of them all day. As soon as its slave driver looked away, the real I started running and never looked back.
When you're under the influence of your addictions, you are like a slave having to watch his world crumble around him.
Last month my brother in law relapsed on heroin. He was 13 when his brain learned how rewarding it was.
He had a brand new home with my sister, a new car, and so many bills he was constantly under the stress of. For the first time in 9 years, he went to some dealer-- not Wal-Mart or Best Buy, but probably some hood dude in Detroit, and he became a slave.
He lost his family, job, and home.
He didn't want to lose any of those things. He was genuinely a good person.
My mission in life now is to treat my brain only to simple, natural pleasures. It's learning to appreciate things like cucumbers more every day.
A big part of my mission is staying mentally healthy in order to avoid depression and long term stress which would likely result in relapse.
Things that used to seem unimaginably painful are becoming small obstacles.
"The day the body becomes dominated by pleasure is the day it will also be dominated by pain" - Seneca
Lessons learned:
Almost anything unnaturally pleasurable can become addictive
The stronger your addiction's influence on you, the more you are a slave.
Stay mentally healthy to avoid being influenced by your addictions
Fantastic post. Did you notice that our society is run by addictions? Everyone has one. I think addictions like gaming, drugs, porn or facebook and many more are given to people just to keep us busy and distracted from what really matters... our real problems. We live in a virtual world, we care about what X superstar musician does and we don't even know him personally, his actions will never influence our life. Or play that stupid video game that isn't real and it doesn't give anything good for your life. Or even worse.. masturbate to porn. We must stay in reality! Instead of learning something new you are numbed by addictions.
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Great comic, reminds me of the book Why We Believe in God(s): A Concise Guide to the Science of Faith by J. Anderson Thomson. all about how our instincts can be hijacked. Very short read well worth the time.
This is why I harp on people who mourn famous actors and musicians when they pass away, or care too much about professional sports and the men who play them.
When I see a professional game thanks to my housemate, my first thought is "damn, I wish I had been more motivated growing up because I wish I kept playing my sport." Yes, it's tinged with regret, but I also still feel the drive to step out on a pitch and play a pick up game of soccer, rugby, or flag football. I feel the desire to actually do some cardio in addition to my lift. I feel the drive to work harder because being healthy and playing sports is fun. Watching them is fucking not. Being a fan of other people is fucking not. Even if my dreams of becoming an author and a youtube celebrity don't pan out the glorious way I hope they will, I will still die knowing that I was being the entertainer, and not the entertained. I wrote, not read. I performed, not watched. I played, not cheered.
At OP, thank you. You elegantly put into words a point since been trying to get across to a number of people, as well as have needed to re-affirm within myself after a recent surgery to get myself back on the horse and away from the pain pills they gave me to heal with. I'll be sharing this with a small handful of people tonight or tomorrow who need it.
Why do you think boredom exists? It's because we are bred to be busy buzzing workers who are always completing tasks for those who control us. When we find ourselves with no task to keep us busy, we are "bored". There should be no boredom. You should be thinking, exploring, discovering, and experiencing the beauty of the reality we live in.
fast food and porn exist to control the workers who don't matter. They need the pleasure to offset the absolute lack of purpose in their lives. And that is OK - in the hectic world we have built we need those workers just to support the society. If you don't believe me, that is alright too, but I know that we are in a prison... one that we are capable of using our minds to break out of.
Some of you guys are blowing things way out of proportion. It is impossible to stay concentrated 100% of the time. I've tried it. After about 10 days you get burned the fuck out. Even when you are having results.
Yeah, and this shit - "we are bred to be busy buzzing workers who are always completing tasks for those who control us". No mate, you're bored because you're fucking boring. I'm not bored, because I have shit going on.
Congratulations, you just described the difference between someone happy with his job, like yourself, and the grand majority of people, who pretty much feel like killing themselves every single morning because they have to go play wage slave.
While I'm currently in the latter category, at least I'm still chasing my ways out, and making sure to enjoy life's pleasures just to get through the meantime. Sex with a new girl, conquering the fear of talking to a new person, tasting a new beer, etc.
I might be busy as all hell, but I'm still a fucking slave. I'm not bored, but the shit I have going on needs to change.
You aren't your job, though. It doesn't define you, it shouldn't take up the majority of your time, and it sure as shit shouldn't take up the majority of your effort - unless, of course, you're one of the lucky few who works for himself.
At least you're taking steps to get something else going on. My job is the least of my concerns. I am committed to my career, and fucking great at what I do - but I only learn skills for my own benefit, not my boss's.
40 hours a week with just over an hour commute there and back means my job is costing me ~51 hours a week. When you factor in time spent at the gym, it makes it hard to "break free" of the cycle. Thankfully I spend my weekends far more productively than the average bloke, but still. Really, I understand it's the commute at this current position I have a problem with, but I'd be much farther along with a part time that paid well enough to keep me going on a living wage for only 24 hours a week.
It's not about staying concentrated as you say. These addictions are also concentration. Concentrating on having that next cigarette. ...or the one in hand. Or the next bite to eat, or hit of whatever. We don't want to eliminate addictions so that we can concentrate, rather we want to eliminate addictions so that we can clear the things that are in the way of stillness. Stillness is where real power lies. I wake up in the morning and my first thought is "get food." Even food is an addiction and if can eliminate this "thing that is in the way" then I can become closer to stillness and most likely find it easier to forgive my dad for that thing or have mercy on my coworker for that other thing. A person or group of people that is addicted, is just moving from one thing to the next...one reaction to another without control. The same exact zombies that are in all the video games we play, not realizing the joke is on us, because the zombie apocalypse is here and we are those fucking zombies.
Yeah I don't know man. You're making a lot of assumptions. Sure we all have addictions but that's just human nature. I know where you're coming from with the zombie thing but your getting a little too conspiracy theory for me. Im 24, I work 6 days a week and I'm constantly thinking of ideas to make money. I've had a lot of success in the past with capitalizing on my ideas, and it still takes me fucking forever to put them into motion. If I put them in motion I know for a fact I could be making about 1300$ a week cash. I don't play video games, I don't have any kind of personal social media accounts, I've cut back on alcohol a lot and I'm still somewhat stagnant.
I think we have unconscious mechanisms that hold us back because reaching the next level brings uncertainty, and may challenge our sense of security. We hold on to false presumptions we have and rationalize why we haven't taken the next step. Listen man I have fears about about posting stuff online that I know could make me an extra 2-300 dollars a week. It's literally fail proof, and for some unconscious reason I haven't pulled the trigger yet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, people are out to get us. But not as much as everyone likes to think. A bunch of really smart salesman and marketing experts just exploit human nature. We exploit our own human nature weather we know it or not. Nobody got together in a room somewhere and decided to create this regime thats sole intention was to cripple the mass public. That's just what transpires when you have enough resources to manipulate the human psyche.
You mentioned video games, here is an example you may like. When bungie came up with the destiny IP their goal wasn't to have a bunch of people hooked on some shit that exploits the fuck out of people's minds. It was to build a badass universe and a game that people loved. When the game was in its final stages and fine tuning is when they implemented lab rat tactics.
Can you give me a source or some info about how these "lab rat tactics" were implemented into Destiny?
I'd like to know more about their addiction manufacturing and how it affects me as someone who plays games.
Search on youtube for destiny gambling. Or destiny addictive.
I specifically used the words lab rats because the bungie guys used the term when they were discussing the psychology behind halo
Reddit is mine. I need to break it.
This is exactly what I've been thinking about for a week or two , and I think I may have red a post a while back on here about this. Most people are happy to just be spectators - in fact our society encourages it through every avenue - tv - shows and ads, radio, billboards, video games, Facebook and all social media, even Reddit, etc. saying "hey you don't need to do that thing you like, you can just watch it instead! You don't have to go out and have real interactions with friends - you can play Xbox live with them!" The list goes on. People become extremely attached - though not addicted I'd say - to living vicariously through others, and this is where addictions form. You live vicariously through your team winning, or a stupid commercial on exercise and you feel great, you think "I can do this" but you don't and soon you're addicted to tv, or eating shit food, saying " one day I'll be x but for now I can do this unhealthy activity " because we are already satisfied to a degree that makes obtaining our goals and reaching our full potential secondary to watching others do so.
Just think of food, as OP has pointed out. Foods with added processed sugar is just playing to the addiction for our taste of sweetness. Likewise, fatty foods with processed oils. It's an addiction that can have negative consequences in your life just like anything else.
A lot of these things are fine in moderation, too. People play games or pmo in moderation and are fine. But far too many people can't cut themselves off and take it as far as they can.
On the porn note: if our sex life is similar to the porn we watch then is porn unhealthy?
I seriously doubt your sex life involves picking between hundreds of girls to fuck anytime you want in any situation, but damn, congrats if it is.
That's not what I meant but way to run with that one. It was a hypothetical and to clarify: if you have (wild and rough) sex regularly from a stable of attractive women is it bad to watch porn?
In the same sense as if I play basketball 3-6 times a week and watch the NBA regularly, what's the difference?
The difference between sex and porn is huge.Because porn is not real and your brain watching porn will create a state of rewards linked to non real activities.And your brain will be desensitizated to the real things (like sex) for too much rewards for un real things like porn. Porn is not like to watch basketball because sex is one the most important thing the brain think that a man can achieve.
but how can you have wild and rough sex with some pixels? it's not the same thing.
I don't think you're understanding what I'm asking. Nevermind.
The difference is that in one you are a participant through your action, while in the other you are merely observing, either idle observation or for the purpose of learning. Then again, the majority aren't really observing, they are just jacking off or eating a pizza.
I know I am sensitive to addictions, used to be a gamer, watched movies and smoked weed all day every day. I procrastrinated a lot and other areas suffered. Even though I enjoyed it at the time it was more escapism from reality...
until reality hit me several times until I reached rock bottom. I lost a lot of good friendships, had financial debt, my mental and physical health declined and then one day as I was really struggling I fucking had enough of it and did a 180 degree turn. Essentially I gave up everything and then only decided to focus on those areas which actually meant something. I started doing productive things with my passion of music, enter the gym do fitness and boxing and started to go after a career. It might have been small steps back then.. but compare me to 1.5 years ago and I changed way beyond what I could think of. The thing is if you throw enough shit against the wall, something will eventually stick. Plant the seed today and give it water every day and in a few years you have got a beautiful tree.
Hmm.
I was the same, but the same thing that was my addiction at that moment (a MMORPG) was the reason I snapped out of it. I had reached a top level in my server, which kicked my confidence up very high, so I had decided that if I had what it took to reach the top in a MMORPG I had what it took to reach the top in real life too. I didn't, but on the way I rebuilt my body, I rebuilt my mind, acquired many many skills (currently learning my 6th and 7th language) and overall improved my real life greatly.
I have never since reached the pleasure I had from leading a Raid party against a nest with many different and difficult bosses, though. Real life just doesn't work that way, unless you go into management or something. :(
Respect for your progress. Do you have some tips on how to aquire a language efficiently? Thanks
God the TRPBot is pissing me off.
There are multiple methods, but I have seen that Spaced Repetition works the best for me.
Thus, I start with Duolingo + Memrise + other grammar practice stuff. Then, once the Duolingo course is done (don't rush it, you need to do it EVERY DAY, for 2-3 months before the language becomes stable in your mind, so plan the number of chapters you do per day accordingly), I step up with Memrise and combine it with listening practice (there are a lot of resources both on reddit (r.languagelearning) and on the general internet) and speaking practice (though I'm lucky to live in Brussels, so it's much easier to find conversation tables for many languages).
Speaking is by far the most important thing, because it solidifies the language in your mind, thus always aim for speaking (and listening) as much as possible. If you have the Game skills required, get a girl that speaks your target language and speak as much as possible with her in that language. If not, friends, tables of conversation, partner exchanges for skype calls (r.language_exchange) and so on and so forth. But, since emotions are critical for memory solidification, having a girl with which to combine relationship and language practice is the fastest way IMHO.
Notable mentions to serotonin as well.
Dopamine and serotonin are supposed to be rewards for hard work. For example getting a good grade in a test, or sleeping with that girl who you've graciously courted for the last 2 months, or finishing a huge woodworking project. Specifically, dopamine is associated with long-term rewards while serotonin is associated with short-term pleasures.
Our brains are designed to create positive feedback for good behaviour. Thus causing us to perpetually create and work hard. When we acquire these rewards or pleasures without any hard work, we are fucking up our brains hardwiring. We're telling our brains that we can attain pleasure without hard work. Our brains natural reaction is to lose motivation, because if we don't need to work hard then why should we?
The chemical brain doesn't realise that over long periods of time these cheap pleasures will become boring. Those drugs, that porn, that fast food. Each time we consume these products, we need to consume more to experience the same pleasure spike. Eventually the magnitude of consumption required becomes unreasonable or unattainable, or the subject is too fucked up to continue. At this point, our motivations and drives are at their lowest. This IMO is a major contributor to our obscene levels of mental illness in 2016.
In order to maintain healthy reward pathways we must work hard, above all else. Enjoy the simple pleasures while you can, and work your ass off to achieve those huge pleasure spikes and you'll be fine.
And take Adderall every day like me
"Did I eat today...? I think I did"
It only had that effect on me the first two or three days. And boy were those days the GREATEST DAYS EVER HOLY SHIT DUDE but now I am just...normal. Well, normal+. Normal always felt boring but I didn't know why. Now I feel that way except I feel better about it. It also makes doing shitty tasks like filing paperwork and shining plates incredibly fun. And it makes fun things super fun. Even writing goals is fun
It's made me a million times better at my job, better at relationships, and am generally a lot more well-liked. I tried to go off it for the hell of it one day and couldn't get out of bed so I guess this will be for life. No complaints, 100% worth it.
There are long term effects of taking Adderall every day. Of other effects, dopamine receptors are down regulated by constant overstimulation. This can explain why you couldn't get out of bed. If your dopamine system was not affected by Adderall, you may have gotten out of bed that day. Further, just one day without Adderall after repeated usage is not an accurate indicator of what life would be like without Adderall after long term usage. Restoring the amount of receptors in your dopamine system is a slow process, and it can 1+ years for addicts to get near baseline. Life doesn't have to be that way. Your social ability can be attained through practice. There is a lot you can achieve with changes in your mindset.
I think I knew this and just wanted to ignore it or pretend it's not true simply because it's such a big help and it really has turned my life around. But not having the energy or motivation to do anything without it seriously freaked me out, and I feel like it aligns with what you're saying.
How easy is it to get Adderall? If I just asked my doctor to write a prescription would they do it?
Some psychiatrists will diagnose adhd right off the bat, but it's rare, and when they do you'll be running through all the front line medications first like stratera or welbutrin. After exhausting a lot of those, they'll switch to phenedates like Ritalin. After that comes the amps. Your best bet is to get an actual diagnostician to diagnose you with ADHD. It'll take a few visits and many hours of testing but once you get that diagnosis you're golden.
Nothing wrong with a little methylphenidate.
NAC helps a lot with keeping addictions under control too.
I agree. Most people will argue because they think they're perfect. Removing artificial pleasure has been so beneficial for me
Great post.
I used to be heavily addicted to Dota2. After a good game, I got drunk on dopamine. It was such a huge feeling of satisfaction that it didn't compare to any previous experiences.
I was an advocate of moderation and I mocked the people who quit completely but I was wrong.
This is gold. I agree that keeping the dopamine spikes low is key to mental and physical health. If all the things you eat and drink are high in sugar & fat, you won't be able to appreciate many different tastes the nature has to offer and you will have to work extra hard to lose weight.
When I watched the Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee episode with Larry David, I was very surprised. Larry David, who is worth 800 million, said he didn't drink coffee. He took one sip of the coffee and he was shocked. He said "I can't believe this is how people live".
It took a very long time for me to understand the wisdom in that. I don't drink sodas and I don't eat fried stuff but I think it will take a very long time for me to reduce my dopamine spikes below coffee level. Though in Larry's case, I'm sure the complete financial security is helping.
lol, there is nothing wrong with drinking coffee
It's a drug, just like any other. Don't believe me? Try quitting for a week. Feeling tired, worn out, loss of motivation. That's cause your hooked on the stuff. Same as cigs, booze, weed, heroin, you name it. Go ahead and try. If you manage to make it a week, you're a strong willed person and I respect that.
This here is right. I was so hooked on coffee 5 months ago and ending that addiction was so very difficult. I had been drinking it since I was 14 ( parents were big drinkers and we had our own machine) and got to the stage where I needed 4-5 cups of double espresso a day. Every single day. It was awful and quitting was stupidly hard. I just went cold turkey and it was horrible.
Grave yard post, but how are you feeling now. Any tips for quitting?
I quote myself here: Cmon, i know its a drug, but its a drug with many health benefits. In terms of dopamine, remember we are on a internet site where people give you points for posts(thats dopamine too, a pc with internet too). Coffee has many benefits - if someone is abusing it by drinking tons of it, hell, even running too much is wrong.
Come on man, cocaine is just a drug. It has many health benefits such as allowing you to work 20 hour days.
How stupid you are comparing coffee with cocaine? A lot
comparing coffee to cocaine is probably the most retarded shit i've seen on reddit.
can't this seriously. i drank coffee for about a year straight two cups every day and I had to stop for two months due to a different medication I was prescribed that wouldn't have mixed well. I didn't have any of these so called "coffee withdraw symptoms" that the internet speaks of.
the vast majority of Americans show that this statement may be far from the truth.
I've seen the majority of my friends need to grab their "double expresso Mocha Latte" or whatever in the morning before class, then get one during lunch, then get it after class at 5pm, then another one at 8 after dinner. I've regularly talked with friends that say "Ugh, don't talk to me yet I didn't have coffee yet," or damn it's 2pm and I need my second coffee because my morning coffee has already worn off."
Now let's go ahead and replace "coffee" with vodka, and you'd say he had a drinking problem. Let's replace coffee with Oxycotin, and you'd say they are abusing prescription drugs. Caffeine, the main ingredient behind coffee is just another addictive drug, and those who don't drink decaf are just kidding themselves when they think they're not addicted.
Have you ever seen someone with coffee withdrawal? Yeah, it's pretty bad for a few days. I stay away from caffeine/coffee unless it's some important test day or project deadline and I need to stay focused. I don't want to be hooked on something.
I' ve seen the caffeine withdrawl effects on my sister (30 years old): she was physically ill, headaches, bad temper for a few days. After about 6 months she started drinking again "because of work" - now even drinking it was making her ill. She stopped drinking for good with withdrawl effects again. So yes, caffeine is a drug and it's not good for your health. I only drink coffee occasionally (max 2-3 per month).
I drink coffee for school and I've never experienced this "caffeine withdrawal" you speak of.
The worst I can think of is on weekends and over breaks when I completely drop the stuff, and I sleep for easily 10 hours each day.
I hate how addicted to caffeine I am. I want to stop. But even after the withdrawals it'll take months to get back to Normal brain function
Start making the change now, before you get fucked over later. Use the free time (if any) you have over the summer to cut the caffeine and do something enjoyable other than work. Getting sleep helps too.
Yeah. I'm planning on having some pain killer with me for the headaches from the withdrawal and drinking a lot of water
I really like coffee, but my body does not respond well to caffeine. So I just drink a cup of decaf when I want some.
Cmon, i know its a drug, but its a drug with many health benefits. In terms of dopamine, remember we are on a internet site where people give you points for posts(thats dopamine too, a pc with internet too). Coffee has many benefits - if someone is abusing it by drinking tons of it, hell, even running too much is wrong.
Life is different for an average person and a person worth 800 million. For an average person, a cup of coffee and a house full of 19 year old prostitutes have different levels of accessibility. When filling the house with chicks is as easy and cheap for you as getting a cup of coffee, it probably is wise to draw the line a little below the necessary level.
Sure, but you will probably enjoy life more without it.
Why? The only difference you have is drinking coffee has its health benefits.
Caffeine is a stimulant. Stimulants are notorious for spiking dopamine, that's why they feel so good. There are no free boosts though - as a frequent caffeine user your body becomes habituated and used to that level of increased stimulation. This is now the new normal for you. Any amount of regular caffeine use will do this. Expand this out over time and quantity of consumption and you get the stereotype of the person who can't function without getting their coffee first.
There is such thing as decaff. Really, forgetting all those health benefits of coffee because it can "hook you up" is madness. Your PC or smartphone is giving you much more dopamine spikes than a cup of coffee goddamn
Caffeine is a stimulant, yes. But it's an indirect one. It doesn't work directly with dopamine or noradrenaline like amphetamines or cocaine do.
It does just antagonize adenosine receptors, which (adenosine) is a inhibitory neurotransmitter that promotes sleep. Caffeine action on dopamine levels aren't even remotely comparable to other NDRA or NDRI stimulants, which directly boost dopamine levels, and that's the reason why it doesn't give you any euphoria.
You can become dependent to it, build tolerance and suffers from withdrawal, but it's just the result of more-than-normal adenosine levels in the brain, sensitized from caffeine use.
Your reward center in the brain will not suffer from it, there won't be any long lasting motivational deficits or depression as a result of a coffee dependence. Saying that you will live better off it, like you would say with meth, it's just bullshit. Dependence =! Addiction.
Coffee has many health benefits, like a lower risk of suffering from diabetes or neurodegenerative diseases potentially outweighing the downsides (though this is currently still a very controversial topic).
Caffeine feels pretty damn good especially if you use it very infrequently. Its effects on attention, arousal, and motivation are definitely similar to amphetamines though not comparable in magnitude.
If you search caffeine dopamine there are studies about how the two are linked. I am no neuroscience expert, just someone who has tried many stimulants and can note similarities.
The part about living better is about avoiding the dependence and withdrawal you mentioned. And you sleep much better.
Love my coffee with cream and sugar. I only drink one small cup a day anyway and that's good enough for me. It's all about creating habits. I could break that habit too if i wanted.
If you go full hipster on your coffee, a french press and proper grinder can turn black coffee into something completely wonderful.
I'm with you though, on vacation, i go without, and never even think about it.
Man, I love a cup of black coffee no matter where it comes from. I've had the good shit and I've had Folger's and honestly, black coffee is just black coffee as far as I'm concerned. It's all tasty shit.
I vote to make this a sticky
What you are referring to is Operant Conditioning.
In your case what's at play is both positive and negative reinforcement.
Positive reinforcement in that you get an immediate reward for playing games and eating pizza.
Negative reinforcement in that you eliminate activities that you don't want to do by playing games and eating pizza.
There is also punishment. For instance, decreased health, obesity, failed relationships, loss of job or lack of promotion, bad grades, etc.
The kicker here is that all the rewards of playing games and eating pizza are immediate but all the punishments happen later and the rewards of working out, improving social game etc. also come later.
In operant conditioning the closer the reward to the activity the more powerful the association and thus conditioning is.
The same works for procrastination. Procrastination has both positive and negative reinforcement in that you can do something more pleasurable right now and put off something onerous until later, respectively. And the punishment of anxiety for not have completed projects and tasks may be extreme but is usually days or even months down the road and therefore won't be strongly associated with its cause: procrastination.
The question is: what do we do about it?
First, we have to recognize what is happening and then resolve to remove the obstacles in our path.
This is why having goals is so important. We can still play games and eat pizza, but we must do it as a reward for working out and getting projects done.
We also have to learn to reward ourselves when we do the things we are supposed to do.
Parents can do a lot to change their children's behavior by rewarding good behavior or by rewarding good grades. It's one thing to tell them to study but to sit down with them each day, discuss what is expected of them and devise a plan to help them reach their goals and then reinforce and reward them along the way is a far better success plan.
However, as adults we don't always have someone in our lives to do this and if we do they may not even know how to do it themselves.
That's why having goals that are important to you are so essential.
"No one can be a slave of two masters, since either he will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other..." Mathew 6:24 Holman Christian Standard Bible.
You experienced that up close. As a slave to your own dopamine and your own animalistic desire to get that next fix, and you came to despise that master. Most don't ever get that far.
This OP is an excellent post.
abdada has great insight into this. his posts on low reward behaviours are probably right up your alley, anyone who is relating to this kind of narrative.
Good post, the only thing I have ever been addicted to is food. I stayed away from drugs, alcohol, porn, and other addicting behaviors, but food is what got me. Food got me because you don't view it as bad.
I played football in college, but came in at a lean 150 pounds as a freshman. My coaches basically forced food down my throat, feeding me 3 times a day + a "snack", a "snack" usually consisted of something like an entire medium pizza, 2 Chick Fil A Sandwiches and Waffle Fries, or a Footlong Sub from Quizno's and Chips. I ate like a king for 5 years to gain weight. It was hard gaining weight because my metabolism was so good, so I was eating all the time. Got up to 195 pounds my senior year.
I graduated college in 2011, but didn't change the way I ate. My metabolism remained strong so I was always eating and yet gaining no weight or losing weight. The only reason I didn't eat more was because of the cost. But one day, the switch flipped and my metabolism went away. In November of 2014, I weighed 173 pounds. In July of 2015, I weighed 205 pounds. I gained 32 pounds overnight. Problem was I ways always hungry. I'd eat a shitload of food, like an entire pan of hamburger helper, or an entire large pizza, and still be hungry. The more I ate, the more I wanted.
I finally realized my metabolism was no longer what it was, and I was fat, when I took a video of me jumping off a high dive at a waterpark. When you get fat you don't even realize it looking in the mirror every day. It's a video of yourself that gets you. I realized I had a food addiction and started to slowly reverse it. First I just practiced portion control, then learning how to eat and enjoy whole, cleaner foods, then intermittent fasting, then went full LeanGains in January. Now I am back down to 158 pounds, almost 50 pounds lost from last July.
The thing is I still haven't overcome the addiction. I still long for unhealthy fatty fried foods that I used to eat all the time. I haven't had a cheat day in nearly 2 months, and its still a battle. It just takes total mental toughness and discipline to muscle through it.
The best thing to do is never let your self fall into addiction to begin with, but for many of us that ship has sailed. Being a man, in my opinion, is being able to control your impulses and desires, no matter how gripping they are.
Great job Brotha on bouncing back. However, I don't agree with the majority of the opinions and comments here. We are in control of every single action and decision we make. There will always be temptation, desire, and longing for things around every turn. I feel like I am on some Beta subreddit here with all the mystic shit being spewed. If you chose to addict yourself to some external high then so be it. Don't make excuses for yourself or others. In the end you are the deity of this life and you are in control. Stop blaming others and external forces.
You can never simply remove an addiction. Most people replace them with things that are healthy initially.
From cigarettes to eating. From eating to excessive working out. From working out to injections to body dysmorphia.
In AA and other addiction groups they tell you, you must first admit you have a problem. The problem is really your nature - you as a human being are predisposed to addictive and potentially catastrophic long term behaviours. You are addicted to the dopamine spike in your head. What one man must first do before cold turkeying and all of that shit - is reduce the spike. Reduce the level at which the spike gives him some sort of effect. And instead of having the one activity - have many that make him feel good. Don't overworkout - workout. Don't overeat - eat appropriately. Don't overfuck - fuck Don't masturbate to porn all day - masturbate every once in a while.
Get your brain used to the spikes - make them frequent but from different stimuli. It is true that you become a slave to your addictions, but every human is. The point is to control your contribution to the dopamine spike that controls you.
tc
Hmm, thing is as long as we're socially functional it's not that easy to permanently drop into addiction:
http://www.stuartmcmillen.com/comics_en/rat-park/#page-1
It works the other way around, too. I clearly remember phases where I was hanging out with people all day and satisfying my addictions plain and simply didn't occur to me. Not because I was unable to, mind you I still had privacy in the evenings, the urge just wasn't there.
On the reverse, after a couple of days alone for whatever reason, I start to give in to addictions way too much. Hanging out with people, even if only for a short time, reverses that trend. Funny how that goes.
Why was this removed? I didn't finish reading it.
Luckily it's archived.
One of the best things I've seen here.
When I was younger I got so depressed I wanted to die. Part of my problem was knowing I was an addict for life. At some point I had to accept that being an addict is better than being dead or I wouldn't still be here.
All that said, my greatest days are either:
when I'm denying myself
appreciating indulgence more because I've been denying myself
My body has shown me in great detail exactly how right Seneca was all too many times. Overdoing it will hurt you. More than you think.
This was literally the best post I've probably read on this sub in the past two months and it gets fucking removed? Why?
I was an alcoholic by 15. I was an iv heroin user at 18. For the last 5 years it has been a roller coaster of shame and fear with a few critical momments of peace and serenity.
Living under bridges ain't no fun
I want to be able to stay clean so much. I get 5 months and some money in the bank and girls compiling at me and I go right back to it.
I know that if I use I am going to end up fucked. I buy into the lie that it will be better this time, that I can manage my use age and still function.
It has been hard for me to stay honest with myself to the fact that left to my own devices, I will junkie tuck myself back to living under a bridge, broke and in agonizing withdrawal.
NA or AA?
I'm sorry to hear your story man, get clean though, I'm praying for you fam
I did a lot of a.a but I feel 12 steps is just a small part of my recovery.
I need a lot more in my life of recovery such as: Mental health, excersise, pursuing non drug related interests, setting social goals, writing, meditation, etc.
I'd like to talk for a minute about what I call social goals.
When I came into recovery I was very regressed socially because of my self imposed isolation while using. I was constantly uncomfortable in social situations. In my opinion social interaction is the most important factor in staying mentally healthy.
I came up with the idea of setting goals around things I wasn't comfortable with, but things I knew I had to get over. I would write my problem down and share it with a close male friend then tell him what I planned to do,
For example I was having problems with physical contact with females, I was absolutely terrifies and my fear was irrational and obviously unhealthy.
I made a goal to hug 5 women a day, then I made a goal to do some Kino, some hand games whatever. Then I made a goal to cuddle a girl.
I kept sharing my progress with my accountabilabuddy and we would raise the bar.
I overcame a lot of fear ( very 12 step related) this way.
My game got really good, really fast. Although towards the end I began using my powers if charm to do some unethical things I am not proud of.
http://www.truth-out.org/opinion/item/17021-society-of-addiction-capitalism-dopamine-and-the-consumer-junkie This is a very long article that talks about consumer addiction, but well worth the read if you have some time.
If you want to get more dopamine from cucumbers you could try sticking them up your butt.
This is why I quit porn, video games and dumped my gf.
Having sex regularly with your gf will eventually be like masturbating.
I did everything TRP told me to do and I locked down a hot gf who put out 2-3 tines a week regularly, why was I so unhappy?
Because I had 0 goals. I was playing games all day, using my gf as a fleshlight and watching porn in the days inbetween.
We all chasing the TRP lifestyle for the pussy and the glory but really the journey is the reward itself.
My life is devoid of pleasure at the moment. No games, no porn, no fast food, no sex and only 1 orgasm a week.
Yet this week I'm grading in martial arts - Ive reduced my bf% by 5%. Im learning how to lift properly - and I've got a company finincially interested in my uni project - and already had board member suggest I apply for his company .
Pleasure is overrated - success is where it's at.
Great comment. It should be up-voted more. I suspicion you weren't up voted because it's considered manly to have sex daily. Sex and affection from a women constantly can also be an addiction and kill your drive to succeed. Men that get into committed relationships or strings of one night stands both are addicted to the feminine but in different ways. And both routes can be devastating to your success drive. Thanks for your post.
Nice post! Went through a period of depression myself after graduating and before getting a job (about 8 months). It's tough to pull yourself out of that hole especially with everyone chirping in your ear and putting you down when they think they're trying to help.
1 year on everything is going good. I am still building that psyche back up again to what it was before however. Is there anything you've came across about mental well being that you could recommend books wise? I want to keep on top of things so I don't fall into that trap again.
Thanks for writing this. I had a sinking feeling throughout the day and after reading this I realized it was my binge on porn had caused all that sudden depression.
pleasure unwoven is a great documentary that explains addiction far better than I'd ever been able to comprehend
Great post. Dopamine dysregulation is a less well known cunt of a phenomenon than it should be.
I walk outside and look at the clouds and literally feel a surge of happiness and energy flow through me...
It's amazing how the simplest things can make us so happy. I used to smoke cannabis concentrates every day to feel "alive". Now I feel high when I'm sober. When you love your life, when you have goals, are fit and look good, have good friends, good family, etc., drugs, video games, t.v, all lose their place. The appeal vanishes, and comes back in places you wouldn't expect to find it.
Goddamn that was well written. I tip my hat to you sir.
This is a sad fact. Individuals peddle euphoric bliss for pennies and we are robbed of millions. My college professor used to say "Students have changed, they use to find my subject much more interesting and devoted more time and effort to their studies". That's because there is so much competing for their attention professor. People don't know what to do, pay attention to your lecture or send a 15 second snap-chat and anxiously wait for a response. Snap-chat's high beats your lecture's high.
So, we have entered a twilight, where knowledge is accessible to everyone and anyone, but controlling your attention has become the new challenge. What will you give your time too? Will it be worth it? How much of your life will you spend on something?
The truth is we have the privilege and accessibility to become masters of anything, experts on anything, innovators of anything, yet we choose what is easy. Never has any generation before had the privilege and resources we have.
So lets give'em hell boys.
Edit: Spelling
Speaking of malleable brains, I'm still 17.
Are there any activities I should be doing or should not be doing to ensure best brain fitness? Being a male, do I still have time to mold my brain?
Also I do not own videogames and I masturbate but not often and not to porn.
Socialize and be active/work out. Learn to love and appreciate the knowledge that is bestowed upon you. Seek out healthy activities and become the best you that you can be. I wouldn't say that masturbating pornless is bad, but you could always do better. Find yourself a couple of girls, spin plates, get laid or get your dick sucked. Always better than gripping your own slab.
And yes, you still have time to mold your brain. You can adapt your mindset throughout your lifetime. There is no set age on when the brain becomes stuck on certain ideologies.
Trptwerp, don't just read this comment and forget about it in a few days. Print out strikes comment and put that shit somewhere where you will see it every morning. I would've said the same exact thing.
Your brain is 'molding' itself till the day you die
Study, think, read.
There will be enough people on this sub who will advise to take care of your body.
This is an incredible post. I'm going through the same "obstacles" in life, hooked on adrenaline and dopamine from alcohol, drugs, one-night stands, video games, junkfood etc.. I once had an internet malfunction so I had no internet for that day. I felt suddenly free, and accomplished so much in mere 4 hours. I say, If we want to change, it's in your minds and hearts and hands to do so but it won't be easy. Fuck no
Potentially useful tip: Psychiatrists generally don't consider an addict fully "cured" if the addiction is merely swapped for another one. However, doing the swap is incredibly easy! While you might not be "cured", you can immediately begin mitigating or removing the negative aspects the original activity. This can be a useful tool for committing to going cold turkey in the original activity, and avoiding relapsing because of the empty time on your hands.
Note: in my personal experience the "meta" parts of your addiction will be transferred (the intensity of the compulsion for habits), so keep that in mind - you will still have to admit to yourself that you're an addict, even if you swapped smoking weed all afternoon for working out.
Example: swap compulsive refreshing of social media for refreshing of news outlets. You get bored of it a lot faster because small changes don't continuously trickle in, and what you see (sometimes) isn't useless garbage. To your brain it doesn't matter, it wasn't actually interested in what your friends are doing.
Very true- totally understand those vices. Coffee, Dip, pron, alcohol and drugs obvi are the main ones. I've cut them all out starting 2012 (one at a time, the alcohol was up and down). Now I don't even want a drink and have moved in w a girl who doesn't drink either really. We're not perfect but it's a a trade I would make again to rid those vices. Dip was the worst one...took while to get over + some depressive episodes afterwards
This coincides perfectly with the new sticky on the epicurianism sub. I highly recommend that reddit for any red pillers looking to discuss this philosophy of educated self-control.
Very effective post - it's always motivating to see red pill truths put into a more personal light.
I have often thought about this when I'm starting up a game, I'm trying to stop, or do something more productive like starting or working on a business, but GTAV just seems more fun. I realized, the stuff I mainly enjoy doing in GTAV (driving, flying, customising cars and pretending to be rich) I could do in real life if I worked hard enough and made a successful business. However, I am only 15 so video games aren't as bad as if I was 30, and I still get all my exercise and school work done.
Holy shit this is fascinating. Do you have a source about developing resistance to dopamine, and consequently becoming depressed?
The first 10 lines of this post really hit home for me. Thank you for opening my eyes to the unhealthy lifestyle I have been leading recently. This has really instilled a motivation within me to change my ways. I am still young, so I should be able to break myself of these unhealthy habits with time (hopefully).
Yes, addiction is highly problematic and is generally not conducive to red pill lifestyle and philosophy. However: breaking an addiction takes time. A long time.
I used to drink a significant amount - daily, at least a few beers or drinks - and smoke marijuana, also daily. I thought I was 'edgy' and cool because of it. After humiliating myself enough times during parties or whatever over the course of years, I decided I had had enough. I am now almost a year and a half completely sober, and working as a drug and alcohol counselor.
You'd be amazed at how much you can not only change your life, but your perception of yourself. However, as mentioned, these changes come gradually and with diligence and patience.
We are all addicted to some degree or another. Try to have your addictions be things like lifting and pussy.
Or you could take the harder route and learn to enjoy things IN LIMITED QUANTITIES ALSO KNOWN AS MODERATION.
Going cold turkey may work but it's a cop out. Learn to enjoy things in moderation like a normal functioning human being.
Wow, absoutely brilliant post. Your life is not so far from mine. My life has been a similar strew of addictions that for such a long time made me feel like a piece of shit no matter what. I have never posted here before. But I must mention meditation here.
Just fucking do it. Not tomorrow. Now. Its not new age and its not bullshit. It is the most brilliant way, to silence that self-hate voice. Please break the chains. Stop being a slave. Meditate.
addiction is a substitute. you substitute your natural dopamine release source for another. instead of working hard, loving your family, loving your partner you do drugs, fap to porn, play videogames, eat sugar. addiction is not a problem, it's a solution. it's a bad solution, a shitty one, the equivalent of using tape to fix your toilet. but it's a solution, not a problem. the problem is the lack of human interaction and love, the problem is the lack of things that make you release that fucking dopamine. so people try what they can, and addiction works. it's shitty, it can ruin your life hard depending on what you're addicted to, but it works. you need dopamine, you get dopamine.
fighting addiction is not fighting drugs, porn, etc. it's fighting the lack of things in your life that give you dopamine. this is why meditation, lifting, and discipline are always highly suggested activities in this subreddit. start doing stuff that is good for you and eventually you won't feel the need to find another solution.
for reference check the rat park experiment. or the study of the usage of heroin by U.S. soldiers during the vietnam war.
I read about gaming addictions, as someone who played them since I was 4. Can't blame the parents though since back then nobody knew a shit about what they're doing to the kid, other than "he seems to like it so it's ok". I also can't play the victim because unlike the majority of women and blue pillers, I consider myself a responsible adult, not a child or an animal.
Turns out, what made me "addicted" to gaming wasn't just the dopamine hit, but also the feeling of being good in them, being important to my team and hated by the opposite team.
If women have a natural tendency to nurture and motherly impulses that drive them to love kids, kittens and puppies more than loving their man, then men have a natural tendency to feel important by being good to what they're doing (competitiveness). Which also explains why, in your example, the loss must be experienced after a string of victories. A loss experienced right off the bat actually works the opposite way, it might also lead you to spent money towards victory (as seen in the mobile game structure).
I've spent some of my day playing Overwatch, and I also think that when I experience a defeat that's when it's easier to close the game. And this effect is also exploited for profit by candy crush and co. mobile games. I encourage everyone to watch the video, if they already haven't.
I tried kicking them off for good but my brain almost always gets a withdrawal migraine after a few days, similar to how I felt when I was quitting smoking. Quitting smoking for that matter was much easier, since it's a habit that I started much later in my life, compared to video games.
The best method to quit video games isn't "all out cold turkey". Just as you said, you cannot decide to start a diet and eat healthy meals in a full stomach. You must start small and iterate.
I said to me that I'll play video games after 6 pm. Next week it'll be after 6:30, then 7 and so on. It's like adding weights/repetitions to your lifting routine. You add when it's easy, you decrease when it's not.
And if you fall into the "I got exposed into gaming very hard when I was a kid" camp, you have to be on guard for the rest of your life.
http://remembering-ug.blogspot.de/2012/08/passages-from-mind-is-myth_3889.html
How the hell do you get over your addictions when they aren't that bad or life impacting? Like I'm definitely addicted to weed, masturbation, and (to a lesser extent) video games but I don't spend a shitload of time doing these things. I get what I need to done, the problem is I don't go for anything more. I'm kind of in a stalemate with life.
so cut it out for 2 weeks and see how it works for u
"If I hate myself, who is the I, and who is myself?"
This is everything right here, put it on the letterhead
Big up the post, just as I snort go to hit some cocaine (alone, I took it at a party recently now want it constantly) I think let's look to TRP front page addiction, fucking spot on man.
Since I finished exams I've gone from dopamine source to source, drinking with the boys, nights out, parties, masturbation, cannabis, gaming, shit food. When it should be reading, exercise etc.
To use a lyric I like that sums up societies addictions "Get that dope I mean dopamaine" ie it's dopamine that's addictive, what we crave, not the drugs
Luckily we can fix this
Shitpost for the feelz. Reported.
Porn, fast food, video games. The loserdom trifecta affecting many of the western men (?) these days.
Moderation bro, that's all it takes.
The phrase "in moderation" was created by dopamine dealers to get consumers addicted to things they can not rationally or subconsciously moderate consumption of.
There is no moderation for most people. Dopamine addiction is too strong.
I guess that's true. But it is on the person to at least try to moderate themselves, or if they know they can't help themselves to stay away from addicting things
It's a losing proposition for most because most people aren't aware of all the ways producers introduce a hunger for more easy dopamine rewards.
Reward seeking has been a passion of mine for 20 years. I've interviewed flavor engineers who have spent millions in the lab just to create more dopamine button pushes. I interviewed a junk food engineer who spent 2 years testing out various sounds their product makes upon opening it (think the crinkle of a potato chip bag or the pop of a cardboard can opening).
I interviewed two different professional sports engineers (retired) who told me endless stories about how they can generate a desire in viewers to swig a beer or eat a pretzel just by manipulating color and sound on the broadcast.
Even listening to pre-recorded music inhibits motivation because of sound normalizing and loudness curves that tweak the dopamine receptors in the brain and sap drive.
I started a subreddit specifically about battling these tricks -- most people who try my "low reward lifestyle" changes see how hard it is to stop. Once they do stop, they see how difficult it is to moderate consumption even after I teach them all the tricks of the trade.
I personally use these tricks to develop income and profit lines, but I don't get high on my own supply.
At home I don't own a couch. I have no TV, no Internet, no PC or laptop. I don't even have a nice stereo system or microwave -- because I know full well that those things can inhibit drive and motivation in me, so I just avoid them entirely. No video games, either.
I'm amazed at how many guys in their 30s, 40s and even 50s are just addicts to dopamine rushes, and all of them are constantly on the mania-depression reward roller coaster. Really sad.
Link to the sub you mentioned?
Against the rules here, maybe check my post history.
Got it. This is very interesting because I've personally noticed this "producer vs. consumer" thing in society and especially my friends group for a while now. I've cut out a lot of "consumers" from my life because they don't do anything but entertain themselves, they add nothing substantial to my life. Only making new friends with people who actually create.
I'm sorry man but you have to give yourself some pleasures, I mean no tv or couch? I wouldn't think that stuff is a slippery slope, sure there's tricks on your subconscious but again they develop habitually. I mean it's your life and all but it's your own home you should be comfortable and entertained with some creature comforts.
It's either cold turkey or stay hooked for life. Advertisers know how to exploit the subconscious like clockwork. The slightest image or prompt can trigger addictive patterns while being completely unaware to their influence.
For anyone who likes RP music. "I'm just trying to get my fix!"
What are your guys' thoughts on weed? I'd imagine negative but would like to hear the reasoning. I guess like I'm home for the summer from college, lifeguarding so I'll see how it goes but it'd be feasible that I'd be smoking ~3 times a week with friends. Is the dopamine boost bad even if I can still stay on top of things? If I keep hitting the gym and generally avoid other things like pepperoni pizzas (which yes is hard especially while high but have experience doing it) and video games, you think it's still as bad? Any other advice appreciated too for a youngin
Most of these things aren't bad in themselves but their addictive nature is. Just like wine isn't bad but for an alcoholic it is, same goes for gaming for a large majority of us (or weed, etc.). It's easier to just cut it out altogether and replace it with something that hasn't been embedded in us to create an addictive response. That being said if you can honestly say smoking weed isn't hindering your life, there's no real reason to quit. There is no cookie cutter answer, as much as simple platitudes are nice they rarely solve anything.
One of the saddest sights to see is a pot-smoker beyond their mid-20s. Initially it seems cool, hip, relaxing, trendy, etc but ultimately smoking weed is just another drug habit. It cripples your finances to maintain. Money that can be utilized to learn mma, skydive, ride horses, save, invest in growing enterprises, travel, purchase escort services, etc. is wasted on smoking an herb that can give you cancer while incapacitating your brain.
I've had friends who were once wholesome and excellent to hang around become cigarette addicts and pot smokers who spend $700 on a pound like it's a $3 loaf of bread! Guys in their mid-20s with great heads on their shoulders who play the current generation of Pokémon. I didn't even know it was still a thing! I love these guys a wish the best for them but at the same token I refuse to expose myself to those habits and mindsets regularly.
You associate pot with friendship because of this it'll be a much harder struggle if you avoid quitting now. Re-evaluate your friendships. If the best they can do is enable a toker lifestyle you're better off without them.
I had the last straw this month and quit all negative addictions. Porn, weed, overeating (thanks to weed). The association of friends and weed was a big deal. My roommate is my best friend. I got him a job at my company and we were together 24/7. Since we made good money, smoking got out of control. I quit the job because I recognized the pattern. After more than a year on TRP I realized I was yet again making a huge mistake. I look at my roommate and he's so much worse off. Without weed he scrapes his bong for resin like it's going to do anything for him. He loses it without the dopamine rush and becomes a negative victim. He can't even enjoy the things he loves, there's no contention without weed. It sucks to watch him be like that. He respects the fact that I quit and have enough willpower to not indulge even when it's waved in my face. He wants to tell me I'm self righteous, but I'm the one who took steps to get things done. I actively went out to seek new outlets. I basically told all dealers to fuck all the away off. One guy just ripped off my buddy after I refused to go hang out with them, he came home and told me he never got the weed he paid for. Dealer made every excuse. Let someone cross me like that and I will break fucking bones. I don't want to ever go back to being a fucking loser. That voice in my head that says I'm a failure and always will be- I tell it to shut the fuck up, I'm not gonna let you get in my way.
My great grandmother had a saying " Show me your company and I'll tell you who you are!" Doesn't seem like it but the association you keep shapes and influences key aspects of your identity.
To aspire to be your greatest you must surround yourself with greatness. When friends are ingrained in terrible habits that you're attempting to break it's much harder to progress compared to being surrounded by people who aren't.
Be mindful of your influences. They can either shape or break.
The hard part is creating new social links with desirable people in trap city. So far I've befriended a family of Jehovas Witnesses, and a boffering team called The Red Hand. I couldn't be happier with this. My roommate and I are going to be move to a new apartment very soon, but I almost don't want to room with him anymore- the thing is we only have each others backs. I'm not going to let him fall back into his mothers house like his fuck up older brothers. And I chose him because despite his low self esteem, he sticks to his guns and acts responsibly in critical situations. I trust him- but I've done enough to give him options in life. My ultimate decision I've come to is to follow what I was going to do when I got out of high school before I got distracted- join the Navy. This will give me what I want, and it will give him space for the things he wants.
The best advice I can give is weight your cost benefits, remove costly influences, and boost activities and behaviors that play to your personal interests and long-term visions. It's great that you have each other's back but if he's weighing you down consider cutting the ball 'n chains loose. It's great that you care for him but self-interests take precedence. Avoid doing things at your own expense, especially well intentioned ones. You'll find yourself in positions you care little to be in.
Yeah. Im not anti marijuana (I never found it enjoyable though personally) and its a hell of a lot less harmful than a lot of legal and socially accepted things.
It is corny as hell though how some people glorify the whole stoner thing, and how there is like almost a culture around it...and some people definitely get too carried away with it.
I'm not inherently anti either but I've never seen an instance where weed enhanced the quality of someone's life. It usual detracts and acts as a gateway for cig smoking and other costly habits.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with smoking cannabis. Every positive decision I have ever made to make improvements to my life was made under the influence of cannabis.
My life was a mess in college. I was fat, beta, etc. One day while high as a kite and stuffing my face with pizza I decided I didn't want to be fat anymore. It wasn't good for me and I wanted to change my life around. So I did. I continued to smoke cannabis, and it has been a positive influence on many other parts of my life. Now I use cannabis to enjoy eating healthy foods (like this amazing dish I made out of spinach the other day) rather than junk food.
So it's fine, as long as you know how to control your damn self.
Brings to mind a great quote
"One who rushes madly after inordinate desire, runs the risk of encountering destruction and death" - Imam Ali (the ultimate alpha)
What's your gamer tag and do you still have Xbox, Rainbow6 siege is my favorite game, good teamwork.
It's funny you realize how steep the skill curve is at that game.
When I first started playing I was amazing then I started to get matched up with other amazing players who played exactly like me.
The high tiers of that game are similar to life. It's easy to get into and to be better than a majority of 70% of the people, but those last levels everyone knows what you do maybe more.
Once you reach the mountain that is when you can see people on the moon.
I'm not sure you understood the OP's point.
I did understand it. My point is about rainbow6 siege there is nothing more than that.
This comment is the antithesis of the OP's post. Holy shit! Either you're a great troll or it went completely over your head!
Haha I don't think you know what that word means.
Nope sure don't. For someone who browses collegiate dictionaries on the regular on account of pet peeves with word contexts and definitions I have no clue.
The word your looking for is unrelated, an antithesis would have been an opposite.
No it's very much related. The OP is discussing the perils of video game addiction and addictive tendencies. Discouraging the aforementioned behaviors.
The post I recently commented on not only highlights the "fun" aspects of playing some random game but it also encouraged the OP to engage in said game by asking for his gamertag. The very same behavior the OP in his post is opposed to. I'm not addressing the topic of the post but it's underlying spirit. Anti-thesis fits quite nicely.
Nope sure doesn't, but I'm glad you got use out of your major. Even tho my point wasn't an antithesis maybe you went to Columbia?
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