You've seen it before in the movies: the boy loses the girl, then musters up the courage to fight for her, giving her some profound speech about how much she means to him, making her break down in tears and fall into his arms.
It is a blue pill fantasy that Hollywood likes to propagate and peddle as something men should be doing. The truth is, by the time you've lost her, it is way too late for you to do anything. You should be moving on with your life and leaving her alone.
When a woman breaks up with me, I break up with her. Seriously. I politely walk her to the door then slam it shut, never to hear from her again. No more bullshit. No promises of getting back together, or the so-called "breakup sex". None of that shit.
We live in a world of abundance. Abundance of food, abundance of information, abundance of time. And most importantly: abundance of women. There are just so many women out there to date, it is a real shame when a man confines himself to one individual.
There is no fighting to get her back. She is long gone. And instead of moping around and degrading your manhood by begging her to take you back, you should be building yourself up for a new challenge, a new quest, a new woman.
Conclusion: Hollywood got it wrong. There is no fighting to get her back, no elaborate speeches that will woo her, no knocking on her bedroom window and whisking her away. This is real life, and in real life there are consequences to actions. Meaning that it is time to move on.
I've broken up with several women that were treating me like dog shit.
It is little comfort to know I was the one that pulled the trigger.
The second they start treating you bad they are breaking up with you in slow motion and open to other men.
Same dude. Twice I have gotten a tearful "You never fought for me..." from them.
Why on earth would I fight for a woman who was treating me like garbage?
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me and then called me up crying a week later.
She brought up the fact that her sisters ex boyfriend drove over to their house crying with flowers in his hand and begged her to get back with him. She was mad that I didn't do that for her.
Never mind the fact that she cheated on me, although I was stupid enough to forgive it (blue pill days)
Hmm, hmm kbye
This is a great example. In her mind this implies that she isn't as attractive and valuable as her sister. Because you weren't provoked to scrape and grovel on the ground for her.
Funniest thing is that once you've done so they just lash out and shit in your heart twice as much so why the fuck would any man do this? It didn't even occur to me to do something like this because I know the end result. It's also sad to degrade yourself as a man.
Can't even lie, I definitely had thoughts of shagging her sister at several points even during blue pill days.
She knows she's the ugly duckling and that made it twice as painfull. Women are sad creatures.
They always poop on your heart!
Yeah, the self absorption is unreal.
They just want you to stroke their ego. One of the first girls I seriously dated expected me to stalk her desperately like her ex did. That's what made her into an overabundant cunt towards me. When she broke up with me I just did the opposite. I ghosted away and showed no interest in having any more sex or contact with her. It freaked her out. She ended up stalking me for a couple of months trying to make me jealous. Just pitiful.
I like that analogy. Very precise.
What sort of man takes a woman back who has indicated she wants to leave him? Why fight for the affection of a bitch who has disrespected you? Life goes forwards, not backwards. If any bitch gives you the breakup line laugh at her and show her the door! Next those bitches and never look back. When she contacts you again, fuck her if you want to but never give her comfort or affection ever again, she is beneath you and only for sex forever more.
Because weak overweight or scrawny men get a taste of what being with a woman is like, and want to cling as tightly to the same pussy as they can. This is why they cling to the institution of marriage. This is why they spend their hard-earned money on a wedding ring. This is why they put up with her constant nagging, gross sexual past, and her lack of domestic skills.
Don't be a beta bitch- be a man.
Can confirm, was exactly this and kept taking back the same dumb slut because for some reason I thought itd be the last pussy ever. Finally got tired of her shit, worked out and made myself happy, got pussy and realized how much of a little bitch i was being.
This is facts, I clinged onto my first girlfriend because she was the only one at the time to show me any type of affection or interest. The worst part was I let her know that too. I don't even need to tell you the details of the relationship because it speaks for itself. It also explains how I got to this thread.
Confirmed. I was scrawny and a thirsty bitch for years.
If you are skinny please eat and lift weights. It will improve your life dramatically.
Any specific recommendations from your personal experience? I've read the sidebar. I'm getting stronger but not gaining weight
Eat a ton of protein (milk, eggs, steak, etc) and drink protein supplements. Start increasing your calories overall until you gain weight. Do not be afraid of fats and carbs. Look online for bulking diets.
Protein is so overrated. The supplement industry hypes the fuck out of it for obvious reasons and the brahs fall for that shit because endorsed lifters claim they take in 1.5 to 2 grams of protein per pound. Senseless. According to actual sport science and nutrition, anything above 0.8 grams per pound of lean body mass equals expensive urine. That being said, IMO you should focus on getting a caloric surplus eating whatever (unprocessed) foods you want and stop worrying so much about your macros. I simply make sure to get my 0.8g of protein and 0.5g of fats (mainly MUFAs and PUFAs) per pound of LBM and then do whatever the fuck I feel like with the remaining calories.
I agree with everything you have said but there is one thing you mentioned that we all still have to deal with, no matter how alpha you are..... her gross sexual past. I have never met an attractive women who did not have a gross sexual past. I still struggle with that shit, even really great girls who treat me like a king have fucking disgusting shit they have done with other men. I always try and make sure I take her to a place or get her to perform an act on me she has not done before, but even that is hard these days. Bitches have done it all before. Now I am fairly happy if she is under 50 guys and let's me fuck her ass whenever I want. They all have gross past once you are over 21.
Fuck, this makes me really bummed out. I'm a 20 year old and have already had that in mind, it's pretty rare to find a girl who actually isn't a passed around whore now. Even if they say they're a virgin or have only had one guy, I get even more skeptical now.
It gets worse because some women actually won't sleep with a guy. But they will give him blow jobs because that doesn't count as sex in their opinion.
I had a few women that gave me blow jobs but refused to have intercourse with me.
Perfect example. I met this half white half Filipino girl who was in med school from Alaska. Both of her parents had a lot of money and they traveled all over the world.
On paper it seem she came across as wife material and just by her vibe I can tell she really didn't party too much because she didn't have time.
Well on our second date, she gave me a blow job in a school parking lot outside my house. She didn't want to go in my house because I had a cookout going on. But damn, people could see us. Now it was good, but at the same time I lost soooooooooo much respect for her. That was trashy. Then she had the nerve to tell me she never gave a blow job before.
Ughhhh
So yea, they may not actually sleep around, but they will blow tons of guys.
Yeah, I get you man. I'm more into the traditionalist manosphere. If someone does that, cool, that's their thing. But I think both guys and girls kind of getting around like that are what have added to the whole female hypergamy/promiscuity issue.
Now it's really hard to find a girl who isn't dirty and carrying risks of diseases.
They can put guys in orbit with blow jobs. Save the nuclear pink for when they really need it. Raises their vagina's value. Smart move.
She probably knew that and it is probable that some other male was meant to see it.
Man the fuck up. Do you really care that much what others think?
Fucking fantastic, whats her number?
You would be amazed at how many are on online dating. Usually churchy too.
I mean fuck, I dated one for almost 3 years, and somehow kept ending up on dates with virgins till marriage sorts.
It's not that there are that many, it's that everyone keeps tossing them back. They will also take almost any guy. So if 50 out of 5,000 are that way, you'll meet all 50.
If, for the rest of the 4950, there's a one percent chance the one you like likes you back before being taken by someone else, that's another 50 you'll date.
So it looks like half, when it's really one percent of the total.
I still don't understand why this is a problem? Unless you are trying to get into some kind of specific LTR / Marriage.
Enjoy their search for sperm.
because sluts are disguting
one of the things men are the most attracted to in a woman is purity/innocence
Yeah, LTR kind of guy here.
I don't know why it's an issue? I've fucked a lot in my life as well. It's only fair she's had hers too. I also don't buy into the Hollywood fantasy of finding some innocent angel of a woman to fall into my arms happily ever after.
Because the more number of partners a woman has, the less her capability to pair bond successfully. Add baggage to that as well. That's why men instinctively want virgins or women who are not that experienced. Equalism is bullshit. The sexes aren't meant to be equal, they're meant to be complimentary.
Care to elaborate more what you mean with "complimentary"? I agree with you that equalism is bullshit but complimentary what? It doesnt click to me yet.
Hear hear. Fuck equalism, fuck the idea that a double standard is a bad thing. Women need to know who the father is so he can provide. Men win the genetic lottery by fucking lots of nubile bitches. The idea that it is all fair play is not healthy, it is a disgusting reminder of how far feminism has fucked things up. It fucking turns my stomach thinking of the dirty shit girls did before I got to them, but thenI expect them to that stuff to me. I know it is weird but that is the way most men feel. Don't SJWs say that feelings are never wrong?
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"Feminist fairness" will go away when Men find their balls and start acting like men again.
If you like all the BP men out there and consider it "less competition" cool, but realize the high fuck count and feminism come along with that.
You want a girls first terrible sloppy BJ?
It's not always thirst. I've seen high SMV guys turn into clingy emotional wrecks when a girl (sometimes lower SMV) breaks up with them. Guys who could go out and get laid no problem, with girls more attractive than their LTR, but continue doing beta shit to get the girl they "love" back.
I think since lots of men are raised with blue pill propaganda, they truly want a girl who will love them unconditionally. When the red pill reality shatters their blue pill illusions, they either learn from it or end up acting pathetic trying to maintain the fantasy.
I gotta disagree man. I had one girl and we were of the same mind until she broke it off. I am fit, I work for one of the best and hardest to get into companies, I went to a top ten University in the US, I come from a good family, I hooked up with chicks during my relationship and fucked several after.
Still, 1.5 years later I am chasing her ghost in my head.
Keep fucking other women, then. You clearly haven't banged women as hot as your ex, if you're still fantasizing about her. For your own sake, I hope you're not banging landwhales or ugly girls.
there is those few exceptions.
One thing that holds you captive is the misconception that the two of you were "of the same mind".
You sound like an angry overweight beta. As do most 'men' on here.
It is amusing how the least educated and ugliest people follow the PUA and RP lifestyles.
While every non brain damaged, hard working male never goes through the shit you all whine about.
But you all can keep blaming women for being evil and circle jerk eachother ad nauseum.
In the mean time I'll be banging a smoking hot girl who earns more than 90% of you could ever dream of.
I don't know. I think every relationship is different.
I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago, it was really hard for me. He wasn't putting any effort into the relationship. He wasn't calling, texting or even making time for me.
He's a musician and his music was really taking off, and he was being featured on all these radio shows. I know that he was legitimately busy, but he was also two years younger than me (23 y/o) and I figured he was still in the partying phase of his life while I was focused on school and working.
I didn't have sex for two years before I met him... I wanted to wait for someone special. I'm willing to wait for him until he comes back.
So you fucked Chad and are waiting for him to come back? Sorry honey, but he's probably fucking other women.
He was far from a Chad lmao.
He was more of a Brad.
He'll be back, trust me ;)
This is facts, I clinged onto my first girlfriend because she was the only one at the time to show me any type of affection or interest. The worst part was I let her know that too. I don't even need to tell you the details of the relationship because it speaks for itself. It also explains how I got to this thread.
This assumes that the guy is on top of his game, has his shit sorted, passes shit test and is over all doing his manly duties. But a lot of the time in these movies the woman is good woman who enriches the guy's life with her presence and vibe and the guy has been fucking up to the point that she cant be with him. If that is the case in your life then you have to man up and accept it, get your shit together and get her back. You can have your ego and let her go and not take her back too if you think not having her won't affect your life negatively. But you still need to accept your faults and make things right for you.
What I dont like about many movies is when this kind of scenario isn't shown and the man is fighting for a ho/trainwreck/chick with issues/chick that doesn't contribute anything etc all because of the misguided love you feel and the emotional responses of 'I need her because I can't live without her'. You can and you will. Basically it comes down to a rational vs emotional decision for me atleast. And I judge these kinds of movies according to that. Even my heart swells up when I see love between two characters who do good for each other and better each other. Everybody wants and needs love. We just have trouble recognising constructive love from destructive love
In my blue pill days, I thought that I could win my ex-girlfriend back after losing her. The truth was that after we broke up, she was just spinning me as a plate and had no real intention of fixing our relationship. She just wanted sex from me, and it destroyed me inside. Eventually she got to the point where she didn't even want to have sex with me anymore and just wanted to be "friends" and I couldn't take it anymore, so I hard nexted her to avoid the pain of a woman that used to be emotionally attached to me who now wanted nothing more than my dick to get her off.
I guess even in my blue pill days I had some natural red pill intuitions. Like a woman, I just wanted commitment instead of being "used" as her personal dildo. And that's what turned her off to me, because I was acting like a woman (which she supposedly should have been attracted to because she's bisexual....AWALT.) Thank God I eventually found the Red Pill.
Playing Devil`s advocate : maybe he haven't found a girl as good/awesome as her.
But yeah he should search more, not return .Best allegory I seen is that of the trashcan on rational male
Largely due to emotional attachment. Coolidge Effect or w/e. Chemicals in our brains cloud rational thinking. If you eject out of every relationship at the first sign trouble you are unlikely to have many fulfilling relationships. That shit takes work.
Maybe the girl was attracted to you initially because you acted like a man, but you became pussified and she got bored. It's your fault if you get complacent and stop taking on the role of the man in the relationship.
The Coolidge Effect is if you have an easier time getting a boner if you have a new woman on your lap. I.e. the opposite.
It's more about how different chemicals affect our mood and feelings towards our partner at different points in the relationship. There is a honeymoon phase, which lasts a few months, then a "settle down" phase. Most men get complacent after the honeymoon phase, which causes women to get bored and lose interest.
We are not talking about ejecting at first sign of trouble, we are talking about a woman who has already broken up with you. Never beg, never go back.
I think it's good to reflect on why she broke up with you and why the relationship turned sour.
I know bagging on women is the go-to on this sub since there are so many butthurt guys, but, honestly, if a girl breaks up with you it's because you suck; you did something to make her lose interest in you.
If you're response is going to be "fuck dat bitch" then you won't learn much from the relationship because you will blame the girl instead of yourself, and you will probably repeat the same mistakes in future relationships.
To put it simply, since people here are so obsessed with alpha guys, girls don't break up with alpha men. If an alpha male loses his alpha status during the relationship, he is no longer an alpha, and she loses interest in him rather quickly. And no, simply looking the part does not make you an alpha male.
Self awareness and self assessment are key to personal growth. Always reflect and learn from your failures. Never blame other people. Never be butthurt.
I don't like making excuses for people, but it's not necessarily the man's fault when a woman cheats or outright leaves him. You can be the best version of yourself but a shitty woman would toss all aside after a whiff of a higher status man.
You can usually tell if a girl is a bit of an emotional wreck before you enter a relationship with her.
As opposed to what? A woman putting up with your emasculated bullshit? Watching you turn into a fucking pussy whipped bitchboy? She is doing you a favor by leaving, dude.
If you start to suck, she will eventually leave you, but it's not like she'll bail ASAP. She might cheat on you or behave in ways to make you hate her (giving you a lot of shit) in order to see how you react. If you don't have that bold, cut the shit, masculine attitude, if you succumb to her bullshit, you are done. She doesn't want you. You don't deserve her.
It's the same with you; if your girlfriend starts to get really fat and needy, you're going to want out of the relationship. It's not to say all fat chicks are awful; most of them have really cool personalities and some guys are into them. But generally speaking, if you start dating a physically attractive girl, you probably won't be able to get your dick hard if she turns into Jabba the fucking Hut.
Take responsibility. Complacency is death. Women are attracted to you because of your masculinity, your passion, and your drive to dominate all aspects of your life; she wants to be a passenger that grows alongside you on your journey. She wants to encourage you and watch you blossom into an awesome fucking dude.
Let's flip the script. Let's say you enter a relationship with a girl who has a tight, fertile body. Over time, she starts letting herself go. Maybe something tragic happens, maybe she gets too comfortable with you, maybe she gets depressed. She stops working out, stops eating healthy, and eventually her form starts to go. She gets self-conscious, her attitude changes, she gets more needy, clingy, jealous, etc. Out of this jealousy and neediness, she begins to emotionally abuse you in order to keep you in the relationship; she sabotages your friendships, your career, etc. Eventually you are repulsed by her. Should you stay or leave?
You go out, you meet some girl that you find really attractive, you hit it off. You cheat on your slug of a girlfriend. It feels natural, it feels so right. It's great to grip a tight body again, to thrust in a tight pussy again. Are you a bad person for acting on your desires?
Now imagine you are a beautiful girl, you enter a relationship with a guy who is really driven, passionate, and masculine. He is working hard on his career or business, trying to carve his name into the world. He doesn't put up with your bullshit, and is a source of grounding energy when your emotions are getting the better of you. He is commanding, leading, willing to take responsibility and make things happen. He creates fortune through hard work and persistence; it's how he got you. Years of going out, getting rejected, building up reference experiences, experiencing multitudes of partners, etc, all sharpened his game to the point where he could attract and keep a woman of your caliber. He has his eye on the endgame, but he knows that the journey to get there is long and full of adversity, and he loves the process. He is fearless and bold. He doesn't need you, and he could find another girl just like you if you leave him.
Eventually, his masculinity starts to fade, and with it goes your arousal towards him. Maybe he loses his purpose, gives into some vice, and he ceases to be that source of grounded, rational, masculine energy. Perhaps he gets blindsided by some tragic event and he doesn't know how to recover from it. Maybe he just gets too comfortable with you. Maybe he stops going to the gym, so he's not even physically attractive anymore. He starts get more dependent and needy. He adopts a scarcity mindset. He doesn't want to lose you. You lose interest. You stick around for a while out of comfort, but eventually it becomes unbearable. He's been reduced to another chump. You're no longer happy in the relationship. You want him to be a man, so you keep giving him bullshit hoping that he snaps out of it and puts you in your place; takes on the role of a man again. He won't do it. You get into a lot of fights. Do you stay or leave?
You go out with your friends, you meet a man who arouses you with his masculinity and personality. You don't resist his advances. You don't mention that you have a boyfriend. You find an excuse to fuck him. Is it your fault that your boyfriend has become a loser? Are you a bad person for pursuing your desires?
I guess what I'm saying is that life is too short to put up with people's bullshit. This goes both ways. If you are losing touch with your masculinity, women won't be aroused by you. If a woman starts to fatten up and lose her figure, you probably won't be aroused by her. Don't get mad, get better.
I was in yalls place 5-6 years ago. And it was great. After I discovered trp I got it. I slayed a good amount, certainly a lot more than BP days. I always got in mini relationships since I'm seen as a provider but they all centered on sex. I eventually was with a girl for 2.5 years. It was really good, probably was gonna get engaged. Anyway she got into my iPad and read emails from 1-1.5 years+ ago that's were overly flirtatious and got mad and shit and ended it. Haven't spoken for 4 months except to get my shit back but even then didn't see her.
Problem now is Im just not enthusiastic about girls since trp, I get really bored of their shit really fast. Had 2 great girls was boning for a few months but I just had no interest in playing the relationship game and they could sense that. The thought of going another 1-2 years listening to their shit before getting married makes me sick. I know you guys are 21-22 but I'm 33. It's very different up here than down there. I know you guys don't want to get married but I do. I wanted to get back in touch w the girl and see if she wants to reset. I've thought about it for 1.5 months from a TRP mind frame. Any helpful thoughts on this. i put the chance of it working at only 5-10% but I know even then there are a lot of possible pitfalls.
Forget about her, you are only remembering the good stuff. Find someone new, adjust your search parameters, do anything other than try to ressurect an old relationship. You even know chances are very slim so do not throw more energy into a low chance.
Much appreciated. You are correct, I do understand that issue of hindsight bias and I see the bad things too. I just can't even imagine spending another 1-2 years getting anywhere close to where I was. It's just such a long time. But ya I hear you and I'm leaning this way, I know the chance of righting a wrong ship could be even more difficult
Scarcity mentality
I don't even laugh at her.
"OK, bye" is enough
Unless she cleans the house every day, she cooks dinner every night, she cleans the table and does the dishes after dinner, she wakes up 3-4 times per night when the kid needs a drink or a change of diapers, she tucks you in when you fall asleep on the couch... then you have to find a compromise. ;)
lol.. and show her that she mattered to you.
whatever happened to "oh ok....wellllll.. take care." ??
complete.
indifference.
I read that as a metaphor. Like figuratively slamming the door.
Because in the latter, you are conceding to her power... Or so it would seem to her. I think op said it the way he did to illustrate that you are also breaking up as well and not just accepting the reality of her break up.
in his example, he's slamming the door like an emotional little bitch... this gives the girl the knowledge that she mattered to him, because if she didn't he wouldn't have reacted so powerfully.
it's like the difference between cussing a girl out who cheated on you, and just ghosting her instead.
I took it as more of a slam - cya, I don't give a fuck thing.
True, but does it matter what she thinks if you plan on never interacting with her again?
I mean... then why not cry, scream, and defecate on your own floor?
it's not like you'll be interacting with her again...right?
Yeah, that kind of thing is extremely transparent. It's obvious that you're doing something to try to make it on your terms, which communicates that you're upset about it and feel the need to make it look like it's on your terms. It's a sign of weakness and immaturity.
Much better to actually be comfortable with yourself and just let it go.
Other than that point I think OP has the right idea.
They never leave if they truly care in the first place. The moment they leave, they have already left a while ago. Never forget that last part.
So true. I had a girl break up with me and she told me she didn't like me anymore for a while and was trying to find "the right time."
Honestly my BP self hoped she was just being busy but it was clear looking back that she gave no fucks about me.
The worst part is I did exactly the BP example and asked her to go out with me again (she said yes) but dumped me a few months later.
this is really something people need to realize. Its been a long time coming lol, almost every time. Women will wait months and even years before they spring their bullshit
She's gotta line up that branch swing first, because being alone for 10 seconds is a fate worse than death.
This. If a girl breaks up with you she most likely is at least emotionally invested in another man, if not physically. I know it's much easier said than done but the only option in this scenario is a hard next. No contact. Most women love the idea of stringing their ex along, not only for attention/validation but almost like an insurance plan in case their new Chad pumps and dumps them.
The concept of the NEXT does not get enough attention, imo. It is one of the best demonstrations of high SMV and one of the most powerful weapons a man can utilize and exercise in his dealings with women.
One exercise that I do religiously, every day, is to imagine my wife breaking up with me and leaving, and being totally fine with it. Luckily, after I managed to get trp in my core, I noticed that I am always fine, and when I do this exercise my first reaction is to laugh and let her go. And the best part is that she knows that I would do exactly that and she never do this kind of "I could break up with you" shit tests.
In stoicism this is called "negative visualization" and it is a powerful tool that should be practiced in all areas of your life.
Yeah, it's pathetic. I remember my first real heart-break when I was blue pill as fuck last year, right around this time of the year. Fall semester of 2015 around mid December a girl broke up with me and I got all hung up and sad about it, continued to text her and call her and in the end pushed her even farther away by trying to win her back. I was such a fucking beta-male.
In reality, I should've been a little less caring about it and more happy. The problem was this scarcity mentality. The girl was the first girl I'd met that liked fitness, had ambitions in college, and liked reading and played guitar.
I had this idea that girls like that were super rare and hard to come by and I'd never see a girl like that again.
Fast forward to a full year of self-improvement, reading, picking up an instrument, getting started on a new language, and getting even more fucking beastly in the gym and with my style and image.
I look back and had the same thing happened now I'd be like, "Cool. See ya."
There's tons of cool girls out there to relate to. 7.5 billion people in the world, a little over half of them are women. Guitar is like the most fucking commonly played instrument, fitness girls are on an ever growing increase, and more crowds are getting into hiking and outdoors.
You don't need to seek your happiness in others. Happiness should come from within. Another girl isn't going to fill that empty void you feel in your heart.
When you realize this and develop an abundance mentality, study the fucking sidebar goddammit, and really work on yourself, you realize that you no longer get hung up on girls and the rest of your life improves dramatically as you shake off these stupid delusions Hollywood brings to you.
The truth will set you free.
While you were constantly texting her and trying to get her back she was showing her friends and whatever guy she was fucking at the time and laughing at you. Never boost a woman’s ego like that again.
Exactly man. She was on a cruise throughout the Caribbean with her family (rich dad, spoiled rich 18 year old girl) and met some guy on there during that period. She was probably laughing. Then her vicious dating cycle as well.
Funny thing is, I've been improving myself a lot over the past year (her being 19 and me being 20 now) and have become a shit ton more assertive, better physique and style, better haircut, grew stubble, and ran into some of her friends and got some numbers. She tried calling me up and talking and I basically told her to fuck off.
It felt fucking amazing.
This 100%. Chick came to my house and we hooked up multiple times while her ex she just broke up with was texting her. She was getting off on the shit.
honestly, attractive girls with all of those interests are still pretty rare lol. Not trying to shut you down, but that's what i've found.
Lmfao, fuck my life. Back to my depressed beta days. I puked up the red pill.
Haha, no really though, I feel that if you truly seek them out, you will find them. Either that or you can find a girl who likes guitar and is somewhat cute and then get her into fitness or the other stuff, possibly.
yeah I mean dont get me wrong, women like that EXIST, but im' saying that it's rare to find someone hb7 and above that shares those hobbies. If you're willing to compromise a bit, it shouldn't be hard to nab one, but in my experience, finding a 9 with varied hobbies like that is rare as fuck. AT least past a lip service level
Yeah. I agree. I think girls that high up on the scale get comfortable only having their looks to offer.
I'd honestly prefer a 7 with some intellect and hobbies than a 9 or 10 that has nothing to offer but her looks.
It's a bit unfortunate, but I think I'd be willing to compromise. The girl I was hung up on I now realize wasn't that high up on the scale, a 6 or 7 at best but it was just because she took really good care of herself, didn't cake her face up, and worked out a lot and built a pretty kicking body and had hobbies and depth that really got me and lead to me pedestalizing her.
This 1000x sidebar this....SIDEBAR
Hollywood loves your inferiority complex, too, and most movies / TV shows are totally out of touch with how sex, romance, and attraction work IRL.
Yeah. It's terrible. Those movies give false illusions of how the game really works. A lot of guys try to be like the sweet Prince Charming beta male in those chick flicks and it fucks them over real good.
Aren't most girls who play guitar feminazi blue haired hipsters? Maybe that's just my incorrect presumption. The more I think about it, I've been playing for 20 years and I can't think of a single girl off the top of my head that I've met who plays guitar anyways.
Sort of. Either that or just not the prettiest girls around. But there's also quite a few girls who although aren't the hottest around, are fairly pretty and in the 6-7/10 range and their personalities make them seem a lot cooler and adds to their attraction.
You'll definitely meet some cute girls at guitar center when going in to get some new strings.
I have heard many a beta male voice their concern about having difficulty developing abundance mentality. Often times they are STILL focused on the women being the source of abundance. What I love about this post is your emphasis on the multiplicity of abundance in this modern life, which is TRUE abundance mentality! Awesome red pill understanding!
Except time. Sometimes you have to slow down to go faster/less is more but life is short.
Soon you will wake up and realize you're 50. What do you have spent your time on?
I wish I knew this in the past. Damn, I spent way too much time whinning for lost causes
One of the rules I live by.
We're both adults. You make your bed, you sleep in it. There's no going back on decisions like that.
Similar to my approach on cheating. " Shame on me, you're a whore, next!"
Well fucking said! Abundance mentality and time are two important things men these days could always use more of. They both always seem to drain so easily, both at the hand of the same culprit: women.
You only grow when you challenge yourself! Learn how to organize time wisely to be able to work on improving yourself in as many ways as possible. Set small goals. All that time is potential!
I learned that the hard way.
This goes both ways. Know when to let shit go if she's being a time and energy drain, with little to no reciprocity on her end.
Have the balls to walk away and start over at any moment, or you're not a free man.
I learned that the hard way.
I so wish I could go tell this to my 16yo self.
I still cringe thinking about my beta days.
I used to believe this shit 100%. I would think thats how it worked in real life.
The difference for me is that I never "lost" the girl to begin with, as I never had her in the first place. I would fight for her and tell her how much she meant to me before we were ever an item. Yeah, I was that pathetic.
It never played out like it did in my mind, as I thought it would be just like the movies and TV shows where a guy fights for a woman and spills his emotions and guts over her and she runs into his arms. Instead, they would get creeped out and ghost me. And instead of realizing what I did didn't work, I'd beat myself up wondering where things went wrong, and vow to double down fight even harder for the next woman the next time and be an even nicer guy.
If I never found TRP... who knows what depths of patheticness I'd be in today.
I always had a feeling deep inside that fighting to get your women back is insane. I got the rational proof of it once I swallowed the red pill. Now I know I was right all along but the society/friends/family etc were pushing me towards blue pill mindset.
I think A lot of Red pill is like this for most. I've always thought some of the principles but never acted upon them.
Eh, life's not that serious. She breaks up with you? So be it, confused little darling that she is. She's only the most responsible teenager in the house, you really can't fault her for it.
Abundance mentality provides a peaceful and commanding mental state - it's not a "defensive" tool. You don't need to "channel" abundance mentality so that you can ghost a girl, you simply have it and you have control of your life.
If a girl leaves, then let her leave. She can come back if it suits you, be a king.
She can fight for herself, no thank you.
The blue pill dream is false and I agree with your post, but Hollywood definitely didn't get it wrong. They knew what's up, they just sold us lies on purpose. They created a new dogma, a new Redeemer Jesus role that no one could live up to: the Perfect Love, the Match Made in Heaven, the One™.
They created these idealistic films about The One True Love, Your Personal Savior - that everyone has the One who finally saves them from the perdition of fucking with strangers for eternity. But in real life this doesn't work for many reasons (which we very well know about), and these films also didn't show what happens when shit hits the fan - that's where the ending credits rolled in. And the majority of people are never questioning the dogma, even if it's obviously false.
No one could live up to these artificial standards and this created frustration. And frustrated consumers are the best ones because they buy every crap to feel better. The blue pill illusion is alive, and people are desperately whoring themselves out in searching for the non-existent One™. Buy her a ring, make babies, consume, consume, consume, pay mortgage, watch crappy shows to watch the commercials inbetween...I think you know where I'm going with this. It's all working for the system.
I agree, on no circumstances ever should you be bothered with a girl who didn't want you before. I had oneities with this chick, and went full retard, showering her with affection and what not. I found the redpill grew some balls, started lifting weights, she noticed and decided that she was attracted, I felt disgusted I internally I was still the same person, trust ripped and more self-respect.
better to not fight for her and ignore her til she boomerangs back and then keep on plate status with no chance for promotion. ever.
I think a footnote should be made about when this is a comfort test. I've had a girl mention that she's been thinking we should split up then get distraught when I say "alright then I can live with that", with complete impassiveness. On occasion LTRs do look for evidence you're still interested in them and still want them.
"Fight for her!" was the worst fucking advice I ever got in my life. It made me think that acting like a pussy was actually acting like a man. Great fucking post. Boys should be taught this in Kindergarden.
This is good basic advice. Or you could take it to the next level by practicing some dark triad on her. Toy with her. See how far you can push her. You've already written her off so why not maximize her utility to you.
Carefully.
Nobody wants to wake up to a cop at the door or worse a knife in the belly. Or any of your stuff on fire.
I have seen every single post on the Red Pill Forum lately by you. I've also seen posts of you saying how lonely you are not too long ago. So can you relax out, let others post, let the mods and key forum members do their jobs. I see your name and I think man, this guy just feels lonely and doesn't have much to do apart from post on the red pill forum so his phone vibrates with a new notification.
And even more importantly, the abundance of information that there are actually more males than females in the US.
Given the sad state if the average American male, this is less of a problem than you think. Subtract the homosexual men and the number equals up a little more. Subtract the men that are self-disqualified from relationships, and this is a very broad category, the morbidly obese, the guys playing video games in mom's basement, the guys who society has managed to convince are girls, other guys that are just so fucking far out there that women are actively repelled by them and the numbers look better.
Now look at the biggest group, the "nice guys". The ones that hold the door open, pay for everything. The guys that rush to the defense of the "poor, innocent woman". All the guys who have the effect of turning off a woman who might otherwise be interested and the odds tilt dramatically in favor of the guys who see reality for what it is.
Then don't forget to subtract the lesbians and landwhales, too, and the female population suddenly shrinks dramatically as well. For a male, the US means ridiculous competition for very few options.
Don't be one of those nice guys and holy fuck it's easy. However you forgot the incarcerated men, that drops the number of men significantly. Shit, get buff, develop your game, and this is so fucking easy.
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Indeed, I was wrong. Yet 51% still doesn't make abundance.
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51% is not "outnumbering", it's almost the same amount.
Do you have anecdata?
Except that 51% of 375,000,000 = 187,500,000.
Lets say that only 20% of those are in a "targetable" socio-economic bracket for you = 37,500,000
And of those only 10% are in a "targetable" attractiveness bracket for you = 3,750,000
And of those only 5% would find you attractive = 187,500 women that you can successfully game. That's more than 10 a day for the next 50 years.
So assuming that you can only close on 10% of the women who are in your socio-economic zone, who are somewhat attractive to you, and whom are attracted to you, you could reasonably sleep with a different woman every day for the next 50 years.
That's not abundance?
Your numbers are ridiculous. "Only 20%"? Supposing I live in the NYC, even then the whole female population, of all ages, plus tourists, won't be 20%, perhaps not even close to 2%. It's just physically impossible to have access to 20% of American females simply because of the logistics -- the country lies across the half of the continent for fuck's sake.
Besides, it's pointless to calculate the options without calculating the competition. If I live in a big city, I have dozens of thousands of options, but I also have dozens of thousands of competitors. And if it's an American city, as I said, I'll have much more competition than options.
It's pretty easy to get anywhere in the continental US in a very short period of time these days. My sister regularly commutes between NYC and LA, and I have regularly commuted up and down the East Coast during periods of my career. And there's the internet. The number of women accessible to you in the US in modern times (with airplanes, ease of economic movement, and the internet) is vast. If there aren't enough women where you live, move.
Guessing you have never actually lived in NYC. It's a fish-barrel shoot.
Unfortunately or fortunately, women these days tend to have multiple partners and I only assumed a 10% close rate for women that are attracted to you and to whom you're attracted. Competition should not be a big worry here, you're not looking for a unicorn.
And even if I'm off by an order of magnitude, that still leaves you one (different) woman a week for the rest of your sexually active lifetime. That's not abundance?
Why did she break up with you?
This is a toxic mentality. Yes there are a lot of women out there but those women are not all equal. Some are better than others. If you believe in pure abundance then you'll never believe that you'll never need to recognize your mistakes. You will always be able to blame the women for any problems and then move onto the next women.After 20yr or so of this you'll be stuck with a mediocre gf / wife / bad marriage or divorce
While there's truth in your statement, the important point is that you're not going to fix these mistakes with the current woman. You've got to not make the mistake in the first place with the next one.
However, recognizing these mistakes is also important, that's true. That's all this subreddit is about after all.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201012/beautiful-people-really-are-more-intelligent
There is a correlation between looks and brains. On the extreme end you get ugly nerds but generally people 1-2 standard deviations above the mean are actually more attractive. If you goto schools such as Michigan or USC than you'll find a good number of very attractive and intelligent women.
While this is interesting information, I don't quite see the relevance for my post. Maybe you replied to the wrong one?
After she is paid off, divorce is wonderful. You should learn not to do that again after the first one. I'm nearly 50, sure as fuck not stuck with some mediocre cunt. Fucked over a hundred sluts in the last 30 years, despite being short, relatively un wealthy, rather thick like a gorilla, gray hair started at 26 and I dress like Johnny Bravo.
I've fucked more 20 somethings after 40 than I did in my 20s. Three ways, kinky shit, any hole I want. Hot college sluts, single moms, older girls willing to do anything to please a Real Man™. Spent 8 years each with two now ex wives, the second was great for a long time. She was chosen extremely carefully and still did the same thing girls do. Go stupid and leave for / cheat with a lesser man.
After a few years of the same girl, I was always looking at other younger girls, and the one I was with didn't measure up. I fuck them through their 20s and then some desperate fuck can have them at 30. Traded in on a newer model.
You're still sucking down the blue tabs, completely clueless that life can get better for us after 30, then again at 40, and from what my friends tell me, who aren't beta simp losers, it's even better after 50. Don't worry, you'll still be a loser stuck with the inevitable child support and alimony payment and unable to fuck girls half your age. You'll be safe from this horrible life of fucking lithe young sluts, plundering their holes for your amusement.
Gentlemen, I've been PMing with vengefully for some time this year and I actually did not quite believe his story. 50-yo fucking 20-somethings?
Then I started doing HIIT in the early morning and changed my training regimen in order to train harder (1-minute breaks between sets instead 2-minutes, with deload). I started doing things in order to get more discomfort. Suddenly, the pussy started flowing in such abundance, that I genuinely stopped giving a fuck. Guess what, this does not interfere at all.
So I see how venge's lifestyle can be achieved now.
Vengefully, we talk about end results. People don't know what do we do in order to have a life like this. People don't believe it is possible. And I actually don't mind. Less competition for me.
Average man is way, way, way below. Proverbial average man doesn't stand a chance with guys like us.
Newbies, it is your life and your choice. Don't lift, don't read, don't approach. Keep explaining to me how video games can be played in moderation and how good they are for your "video game alphas". Keep explaining text game and tinder foreplay. Keep creating buffers keeping you from cold approach.
Less competition for us. Happy New Year, motherfuckers.
I've never given a shit if they don't believe me, I could post nudes since I take them of the best looking girls I fuck, but why bother? I get that shit from car guys, they can't believe how fast my cars are for the minimal cash I have in them. Big engines make it easy, but they've not done it so to them it's impossible. Skinny gym bros can't believe what I can lift, but big muscle makes that easy too.
Why can't they believe it? Because they're unwilling to do what I've done to achieve it. They're insecure about their failings, so they try to talk shit to knock me down and tell themselves they're better than I am. I realize I'm not the fastest, not the strongest, not the best at anything, there's always someone better. Rather than trying to feed my hamster like these pseudo girls do, I work my ass off to get better when I lose. That is how I have a 700hp car that does it all motor, and for a lot less money than most would assume. Working and learning how to do it better to get beat less, or not at all.... For a while.
These video game kids don't get it, everyone is a winner in their world, they've never lost, never been beaten so bad they questioned just how badly they sucked. They haven't learned to improve, they think like girls and try to knock down everyone else. They're girls, not men.
This exactly.
I feel like shit, like the shitties of the all of the shits in the whole world, yet I still train. Then suddenly I get that cognitive dissonance feeling, way way way too many women give me IOIs than I think there should be. Then I look in the mirror and I don't recognise the man standing there.
Then some guy with a post history in some subreddits about video games that I've never heard of, because I jumped the vidya train some time ago, when I saw how hurtful and disrespectful towards my own self it was to ride it, them such guy comes and writes something along the lines of whatever his big ego brings him.
I'm like "meh". "Whatever".
I was thinking about posting some shit on post-fucking game towards married women, but actually who's going to use that. ECs know that shit, I know it, you know it too. Video game alphas can play games while they wait until their unicorn gamer girls approach them during CS:GO match.
I would rather have 1 hb9 or 10 than the 100+ 4s you fucked.
You don't have a slightest idea how does this shit work.
Doing the "EAB check" - checking for video games in your post history. Bingo! Another "video game alpha". Yes, there's a correlation.
TRP is turning to shit with all the influx of cucks and hopeless betas. What's worse is that they flock together and try to hamster/rationalize their loser behavior turning away new people from bettering themselves. Taking any critique personally and trying to attack in response. Fucking garbage.
I have some experience as a software developer and what can I say, I saw this happen with any popular product. More popularity, more reach - more newbies, asking questions already answered thousands times over newsgroups, FAQs, docs. Or, "how to do X in library Y" when the question shows they have no knowledge of the programming language they're using (because answer to that question lies in the programming language tutorial).
But, I guess it is up to each and every single one of us what do we want to create in such situations.
The most interesting posts on TRP recently are posts which get 30-70 up votes and are written by ECs.
Most interesting comments - comments that get heavily downvoted and are written by ECs.
That's how I filter TRP subreddit today.
I like the 6s to 8s. Thin, in shape, doesn't have to have the prettiest face, but a decent bod is mandatory. As of you'll we've get to fuck a 9 or 10. Shit to me 10s don't even exist, because those bitches have on so much makeup and shit that it hides the skank within. Kid I've easily fucked girls who would turn you down. Step up your game it's really not that hard to get laid.
I don't think Hollywood got anything wrong , they are just playing for different team and agenda. Is Hollywood agenda serving for our greatest good? Good to think independently.
Most men today are lost because what is shown to them is only carefully filtered data.
If they only see the "Hollywood" way and no other way, how can they possibly think about treating women like they should be treated (red)?
Hollywood is no sense. When she breaks up apathy is all we should have for her. Fighting is reserved only when a life is at risk of a family member, a brother or a friend. Not for someone who leaves you. Move on.
The only way to get her back is to improve your life so much that you will fuck hotter and better girls. But by this time you won't even want to have her back.
Had a recent breakup. In hindsight I stopped spending time and money on her because she just really started annoying the fuck out of me after ten months.
Calls me one day to make it "official" and I told her, see ya! Kept silent for about two weeks and she texted me to ask if we could still be "friends" hahaha.
Called her a couple days later, she was warm and bubbly when she answered the phone. I was congenial initially but shortly blasted her with, "why the fuck would I be your friend after XYZ?" and she hung up on me.
Total child who expects half my assets and for me to pay her bills and payoff her debt too. This behavior was expressed by my exwife and other exgfs as well.
The holidays have been tough but I'm glad to say I didn't act like a beta boi and " chase her".
Fuck her, she'd be lucky to get a whiff of my dick again.
2017 is going to be a good year fellas!
TL;DR: TRP offers solid advice and is a great spot to trade "war stories" on the subject!
*BTW, she "dumped" me because I decided to vote for Trump. She's an artist and SJW.....puts it mildly! Solid 8 thought, and it was fun for 9 months!
Abundance mentality is a hard concept to grasp for the AFC because our brain is programmed to live in small tribes of 50-100 people. So we have a natural tendency to a scarcity mentality. Now we live in global village there are so many sexual available women out there...thousands of cities!
The really main problem is most men are pussies. They don't want to do the dirty work, they don't want to pay the price. They don't want to eat better and go to the gym. They don't want to taste the inevitable sting of rejection. They want it easy and they dwell and dwell on their shortcomings and years pass one by one.
One day you'll be in your deathbed after a life of self-indulging on fast food, watching tv, masturbating to porn, avoiding being rejected, seeking chronic validation. At that moment you'll realize you always had the keys for your chains and never dared to use it and you'll regret so badlly you didn't pay the price.
deleted What is this?
Y... you mean to say that movies aren't real? Movies written largely by men to garner emotional responses and give entertainment are not actually meant to be taken seriously?
Gosh, that's a relief. People were always calling me naive and childish for how much faith I had in fiction.
You couldn't lose her. Why? Remember sidebar? You never had her, it was just your turn. But your turn is over now.
It's on you to recognize the moment you're done for ASAP and cut her off instead of floating in limbo state where she technically is with you but treating you like crap and looking to secure someone else.
Women will have a thousand requirements for dates, in the dating market, they are more "valuable", and its really easy for them to ditch out their "clients".
Agreed. By the time a women breaks up with you ... she has spent so much time (probably months) trying to subtly get you to break up with her .. and has just given up on trying to give you the clue to break up with her so she can be the victim ..... she is at her last wits end and is forced to go against her nature and be honest and own up to her real agenda and intentions. by this point, she has even more than likely set up an elaborate situation for you to cheat on her.
that actually happened to me. the friend ended up telling me to when I refused to sleep with her. girls and how they are "friends", right? I didn't sleep with her. I just called and made sure I was single ... which I was.
ofcourse some guys are just outright cowards and do the same thing.
never really understood that whole thing. my parents said to be with someone while you spent the time thinking about the benefits of being with them and to leave the second you start contemplating the costs.
let me tell you a story about the best girl i've ever met:
i lost my job, and got a little aimless/depressed. i got another (better) job, but the damage was already done. she started hitting on other guys in front of me, and she broke up with me when i asked her to stop. makes sense now, but i didn't get it at the time.
two weeks later, i contact her despite her wanting to do no contact. my basic thought was that, whether i get her back or not, i would feel like a lazy, wussy piece of shit if i didn't give her my best effort. so i call her, and give her a mini-speech, and we meet up for a walk, and i give her the full speech about how i fucked up, how much she means to me, etc.
after that, we had some good times, and a few more break ups for various reasons. the pattern was that she'd be shitty, we'd argue, and i'd break up with her, and she'd give me the speech
on the last break up, i took her out for break up dinner (we split the bill). told her that while we obviously have some twisted sort of love for each other, and we're obviously attracted to each other, we've got some fundamental differences that aren't going to work out. i told her that the best way i can think of for this to work, is if she goes and gets a long term partner that fits her life plan better, and we just stick to fucking and talking about cool shit and going for hikes, since that's what we're good at
she's had two partners since then. i've gone on a couple hikes with her, we call each other about once a month, and we fuck when the logistics are convenient. also, the sex is even better for both of us when she's cheating
but anyway, despite it being a pretty sappy thing to do, i think i developed a lot as a human by fighting for her that first time. if i hadn't done it, i would have kept wondering if there was anything i could have done to get her back/keep her. by going through with it, i knew that i could influence my reality quite a lot (but no amount would be enough to hang on to a fundamentally broken relationship)