LTR Lied about something stupid

Dense_Cantaloupe · 2020-05-15T02:42:38+00:00

last sentence is facts.

crocrackero · 2020-05-15T02:51:18+00:00

The last part, when she shifted the blame on you is definitely something worth distrust too. If you are thinking about droping her, I think you should do it

CasaDeFranco · 2020-05-15T04:57:27+00:00

[deleted]

halleluiaiaia9292 · 2020-05-15T06:39:33+00:00

Similar happened to me. Told an ex I would never date a girl who has pics of herself in bikini on social media.

One day she notices that a few ex classmates of mine have pics in bikini and asks me how is that ok? I respond: “I am not dating them”. I also have a very small social media pool and dont follow any thots (just people I know).

Few minutes later she posts a pic of herself in bikini on her account and justifies it as “well since you follow girls that have pics in bikini”

Manipulation at its finest.

Dropped her a week later.

Not sure if you should drop her yet, but if you have other red flags start running

vandaalen · 2020-05-15T04:42:32+00:00

[deleted]

dutchgguy · 2020-05-15T11:51:04+00:00

she should probably break up with you over this

SteveSan82 · 2020-05-15T08:12:22+00:00

All women lie about stupid shit. I’ve never known an honest woman.

She didn’t make the video for you. She only showed you it to confirm to her it’s a good video. Just like if she sends pictures of her wearing new clothes or some makeup she hasn’t used before. It’s just to hear what you think so she feels ok for other guys to see.

goofballgorilla · 2020-05-15T04:14:49+00:00

Put your foot down. Apply dread, maybe even soft next for a couple days.
OR
Demote to plate

lonewolf2404 · 2020-05-15T03:05:03+00:00

Drop her FAST. Next time she’s gonna lie about some dude and tell you that they’re just “friends”. Millions of women out there man, don’t waste it on some woman who badly needs attention (all of them tbh)

akihonj · 2020-05-15T07:26:19+00:00

Others have said the last part and I'm going to echo that, but got further here, if your thinking about dropping her then do it and be done with it, if you don't think you can trust her on this tiny issue what about the bigger ones

The fact that your thinking about it says to me you've already made up your mind and are hoping that somebody out there is going to tell you to chill out and let it go etc. I won't do that because I know this issue will eat away at you and the relationship is doomed anyway.

mrdeeds1972 · 2020-05-15T02:46:20+00:00

You're on the right path, which means the relationship is on the wrong path. Start (read: Never stop) looking for options and working on improving yourself.

falecf4 · 2020-05-15T09:57:35+00:00

Seems kinda dramatic to break up over something so trivial and given how popular tiktok is right now I dont blame her for wanting to have fun with it despite your silly objections. She showed a bit of her colors here so keep it in mind going forward and see if she lies again but don't be petty and weak and lose your mind over something dumb.

DatRiggz · 2020-05-15T03:09:40+00:00

Do you want to ltr someone who lies? Simple fix

pyth0ns · 2020-05-15T02:47:22+00:00

More than one lie broski.

If you yourself, don't like that in a woman... The. You yourself need to realize that you should be breaking up with her.

catsdontsmile · 2020-05-15T13:13:09+00:00

Everybody lies, and she deleted it because she has a good amount of dread going. I say keep her and remember she lies and gaslights since that shit will definitively come up in the future.

juliank47 · 2020-05-15T15:39:16+00:00

You should not be focusing on these minor issues in life my friend. If it bothers you enough, next. If it doesn’t, great, move on.

communistcontrolact · 2020-05-15T09:51:51+00:00

This is kinda gay. Wouldn’t one be single forever if they dropped every girl for a stupid lie?

I can understand if it’s something bigger

Saladin19 · 2020-05-15T09:01:42+00:00

if you have to ask I think you know the answer...

1) the whole tiktok thing is not that bad, its a small lie, but is it indicative of a pervasive pattern?

2) besides you should be in an LTR with someone you like, if you feel you need to break up with her over this, then its obvious you don't like her thaaaat much..

3) Idk about breaking up, maybe take a break? maybe drop her? ofc its your call in the end

4) but this whole blaming you stuff is whats petty..

nameyname3 · 2020-05-15T15:12:19+00:00

Come across as a controlling arsehole and you’ll be treated as such.

tacosattack · 2020-05-15T05:01:26+00:00

Where there's smoke there's fire.

Vofz · 2020-05-15T06:32:08+00:00

Lol what. I thought tiktok is some irrelevant ass shit? It's not like it's onlyfans.

Dvrkvision · 2020-05-15T11:19:49+00:00

it's just tik tok bruh.... she lied sure, but the thing here is that she didn't fit to your standards by being a "tik toker". It's not even about the lie... why didn't you just break up with her as soon as you saw her tik tok? is it because you know your standard was dumb in the first place?

TheBlockedUser · 2020-05-15T06:22:00+00:00

"She then shifted the blame to me saying she made it for me and I'm so ungrateful and mean."

Let me guess, you started crying after you heard this?

the-twisted · 2020-05-15T13:44:15+00:00

I dont think this specfically calls for a break-up . You probably became a little to chilled in the way youve been treating her ie. excessive non-sexual attention having a weaker frame . People will always disrespect people they find low value because they think they are better than them . Start treating her like a plate / show her your a HVM and then she wont do anything that would make her lose you.

CrypticV3nom · 2020-05-15T16:37:52+00:00

The fact you snooped and bitched about it shows how far in her frame you are, it's pathetic. Stay in your frame, who cares....she's doing a dance, you have other important things to do.....she lied, you caught her....give her a choke on your braciole and then remove your attention from her....frame....frame....frame

beginner_ · 2020-05-15T08:33:24+00:00

People lie and often don't get caught. small lies. this lie per se isn't big but as you say what is bothersome is that you ask directly and asked for confirmation and she insisted.

Did you tell her you know she lied? You could do that and ask for a sincere apology if you wish to save the relationship. But only do so if she actually comes up with a real apology.

Fact is all women do this shit, you either have to waste time with this crap, double-down, make her apologize or simply not enter LTRs to begin with.

Poopybuttholeman1 · 2020-05-15T11:53:48+00:00

Eh, people lie about stupid shit sometimes.

Do you have a back up in the pipeline?

If not don’t break up.

If you do, increase frequency of talking with the back-up, decrease frequency of talking with your LTR.

Rash movements and emotional responses are not the most ‘alpha’ way of dealing with this situation.

All the guys on here who just say “blah, BREAK UP” are not thinking clearly and are overly fearful of being hurt - clouded by emotions.

Look at the situation objectively, she has shown that she is capable of lying to you, you’ve lost some respect for her. She deserves less attention and she deserves to have her words taken with less credibility and value.

Lying about something inconsequential is easier than lying about something relationship-shifting. But it is a slippery slope.

What does it mean? It means that she’s capable of altering small events to paint a different (more rosy picture) of events and situations.

Aka capable of trickle truthing, where she shows you part of the story (the video) but not the other half (the platform).

The tik tok ban is kind of silly imo, lying was not the right choice to get around it, but if you play stupid games expect to win stupid prizes.

Verdict:

Cold shoulder for a few days, confront her on lying (if she thinks it’s something she can get away with, she’ll be more brazen with it) connect the act of lying with the punishment (cold shoulder/talking to other people/questioning the relationship).

Remember she is capable of lying.

Move on, if a larger red flag raises its head, judge that with the knowledge that she is capable of lying.

jn14j · 2020-05-15T12:15:17+00:00

Honestly, if you make the decision to break up with her. I would wait until she can't pin the why on TikTok. While most of us here understand that it's the principle (the lying), if you have mutual friends I would suspect most people would in fact blame you for breaking up with someone over a TikTok. Just a thought to persevere your own reputation.

agsuy · 2020-05-15T12:52:17+00:00

Its quite simple.

1st set a clear boundary. And make sure she understands why.

I mean avoid the "I am MACHO MACHO you do what I say". Instead give a coherent explanation based on your frame.

If she is ok with it she wouldn't question you again. If she does then you could call her out and cut her down.

If she isn't ok then you just cut her down.

It is really that simple.

Edit:

To further clarify.

If she says she is ok with it and then does it you should confront her as a man. Don't be subtle. Don't act as women do.

Just tell her "I saw X. What should I do with you? I can't be with someone who doesn't respect me" showing your disappointment.

binrobinro · 2020-05-15T16:48:20+00:00

First lie you've noticed. Expect more.

seducter · 2020-05-15T16:53:36+00:00

Yeah man that blame shifting is a huge red flag. If she explodes on you for dumping her, you know that wasn't all she was doing.

leotard-princess · 2020-05-15T17:04:06+00:00

Everyone tells white lies sometimes. If you want a girl that never does this shit then you're living in a fucking dreamworld. If it happens again and again then do something - otherwise don't listen to these wannabe chads who are spending all their time acting tough on an internet forum rather than going out there banging girls.

So why am I not out there banging girls? I got too addicted to porn and kink and now I have to rinse out my mind with six months of no fap and the best I've done is like 48 days.

usedtimecapsule · 2020-05-15T17:08:00+00:00

Was it a text or were you calling?

Tone is important, and I feel like this is a bit petty. Who gives a fuck what she posts on tiktok as long as it isn’t borderline Onlyfans material.

Also depends on how old you are.

robot3000_01 · 2020-05-15T19:12:40+00:00

She's seeking validation outside the relationship, therefore get a blowjob and cheat on her to level the score.

Her being on Tiktok is like you being on tinder.

Don't deny yourself the crack cocaine of she cant

Dimenzije90 · 2020-05-15T19:14:31+00:00

Youre stressing too much over something stupid. Why did you lurk? So what if she has tik tok? She send you a video. Tell her to bring that ass over here instead of confronting her about beeing a tik tok slut. And ofcourse she was gaslighting you its what women do, wake up. But now you look like a buthurt beta because you loose frame so easily. So next time jus relax and stfu. If her beeing a tik tok slut is too much for you then leave her.

Edit: gaslighting is a red flag when you havent done nothing wrong. In this situation you got butthurt over a stupid thing. Every women gaslights dont worry about finding a girl who doesn't. She doesnt exist.

e39boy · 2020-05-15T19:37:36+00:00

This is really childish from both you and her. Arguing about fucking TikTok, hahaha. Seriously some of you on here don’t understand balance.

hedged6161 · 2020-05-15T19:45:10+00:00

Downgraded her to plate, treat her accordingly, detach emotionally.

trpppp123 · 2020-05-15T20:26:29+00:00

First of all, this is something you verify in the vetting period. If she is on social media, she always will be. If you didn't like it, shouldn't have made her an LTR in the first place. Stop trying to control her behaviour. Most women use social media nowadays, it's annoying but it is what it is. Good luck finding one that doesn't. This is pretty petty behaviour in general, pretty much like mate-guarding.

Now to her lying. This would be grounds for a break-up for me. If she can lie about something as retarded as this, she can definitely lie about other things, especially sucking Chad's dick in the future.

alittletoosmooth · 2020-05-15T04:19:24+00:00

Acting butt hurt isn't a good look, but hey man if that's your rule then that's your rule. If you really give that much of a shit about tiktok, then dump her ass. If you don't really care that much to dump her over it, then stop barking about it. Regardless of how stupid your rule is, you can't draw a line in the sand and then back down when someone crosses it.

rn7889 · 2020-05-15T14:37:21+00:00

Dude you reek of being 5’6”. It’s a fucking tik tok video. Do you want her waiting at home in her prairie dress with fresh biscuits on the table?

Being mad at her for being a woman is the most beta thing you can do. Yes, it’s a little lie, but you snooped. You can’t snoop. I’ve never known a single woman in my life that wouldn’t tell a little lie to save face. They all gaslight. It’s just how it is. Remember, she’s never yours it’s just your turn.

alphakari · 2020-05-15T18:07:42+00:00

Yeah, toss her in the bin. Something overt like this, ya just tell her you wanna see other people, and let the dice roll. If she still sticks around, great, if not, great. DO NOT ADMIT THAT THE TIK TOK IS WHY. That's just food for the hamster to start spinning it like "wow he's so controlling." Nah, just tell her how its gonna be so that she doesn't have that options of framing it some type of way.

Shouldn't have forbid it to begin with, though. Just judge these ho's for what they are while letting them think you aren't the judgy type.

Otherwise they just lie to you.

Nergaal · 2020-05-15T08:16:03+00:00

people do stupid shit. maybe even acting slutty when she might "not be like that". but the fact that she gaslit you instead of admitting to something stupid should be a major red flag. i recommend playing the dread game, and if even then she does not get it, consider moving on

Stupyyy · 2020-05-15T08:59:02+00:00

Easy demote

Soms619 · 2020-05-15T08:58:56+00:00

She is in her natural state. Of course the video was sent to you to make it look like its for you but the target market isn't you.

She's is pulling in or keeping the interest of other males in her sphere, orbiters. Once in a while she has reel them in if she feels the interest is going down.

Dont blame her, she's doing whats natural. She might be unaware of her games. But its nature's course.

How you deal with it is up to you, but nonetheless you leave her for another LTR, you would still experience this behavior.

Patricakevin · 2020-05-15T11:02:39+00:00

Run. She gaslit you in a manner of speaking. It’s not a sign of a healthy relationship.

bombgg · 2020-05-15T11:22:00+00:00

Trust your gut. Never settle for someone who doesn't respect you.

Ben_06 · 2020-05-15T13:11:23+00:00

Only look at her behavior, don't listen to her.

She lied, she will do it again and again, and for more serious stuff. I learnt my lesson.

send_it_for_the_boys · 2020-05-15T13:57:01+00:00

Gaslighting only gets worse. For me 3 months being gaslighted and manipulated fucked me up so bad. It’s not worth it man. You are so much better! I can tell you have a solid mindset right now you’ll only get better & stronger if you just leave!

InformalCriticism · 2020-05-15T14:15:50+00:00

I had an LTR like this who eventually devolved into stupid shit like this. It's just not worth the hassle. Women eventually stop respecting you if they sense even the slightest scent of weakness or someone better gives them even the slightest bit of attention.

Plan the exit strategy where she can cause the least amount of damage in a tantrum.

oooKenshiooo · 2020-05-15T15:22:36+00:00

You are not being petty.

Manipulative people start out with small lies to test the waterst and proceed to make them bigger and bigger. To some of them, lying is an adiction - just like stealing is to kleptomaniacs.

There is a reason people developed a strong gut-reflex towards lying people - they are dangerous. You may cut her some slack, but MY personal stance in life has been to drop liars instantly.

Forgiving the overstepping of boundaries tremendrously weakens you in the long run. It has a desensitizing effect on you, to point where you simply do not remember you ever had them.

AdonisWild · 2020-05-15T12:52:39+00:00

She don’t respect u nigga

Title	LTR Lied about something stupid
Author	Desadarius
Upvotes	136
Comments	108
Date	May 15, 2020 2:30 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gk0pij/ltr_lied_about_something_stupid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-lied-about-something-stupid.664751 https://theredarchive.com/post/664751