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Blackgirlwanders
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice464 points465 points466 points 3 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
I’ve been waiting all my fucking teenage life for a group like this, an environment where women give other women advice, especially older women passing down advice, since my mom has never given me any male advice. This sub is a blessing, and thank you jammies for creating this safe haven
[–]LifeIsABitchhhFDS Newbie145 points146 points147 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Exactly this! My mom’s advice about males when I was growing up was to stay away from them lol. Bless her heart!
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice77 points78 points79 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Did we have the same mom?? I’m literally 20 and my only advice is stay away from them, but 2 years from now she is going to be hassling me about marriage and kids. I’m just happy I live in a world where I can get information if I actively searched for them cause my mom is not useful
[–]MagpieMelonFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I think I had the same mum too! Mine told me to stay away throughout my entire teenage years, wouldn’t allow me to ‘show too much skin’ or anything like that, and would never talk to me about boys.
I started dating an abusive man last year. Before I knew what he was like (they can hide it very well), I just didn’t want to date him as I wasn’t feeling it, but since he pursued me I felt bad. So I went to my mum for advice because I didn’t want to string him along, but also I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. She just told me I should stick with it and that feelings would come. She really encouraged me to stay with him and was happy that I was dating someone as I’ve had a lot of health problems (undiagnosed celiac disease until I was 21).
Funnily enough, my friend who set us up (who also didn’t know what he was really like) was absolutely fine with me not wanting to go out with him. Even though she tries setting me up with every single male that walks past.
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Why is this my story, except I never told my mom about him and mine was last year and he turned out to be abusive too. It’s sad what we’ve been through. I heard that abusers know who to target. I just hope we never attract such demons again. I’m also not allowed to wear shorts or show skin
[–]penelopekittyFDS STRATEGY COACH11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Abusers target everyone. They are opportunistic. It has very little to do with your personal qualities. They will exploit any trait they can whether it be positive or negative. There is likely nothing about you personally that makes you particularly attractive to abusers.
There are also many, may more abusive men out there than we were taught. In fact I believe the majority of men are abusive. It's part of our culture.
[–]MagpieMelonFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I hope we never attract them too, unfortunately it does seem like they know who to target.
[–]celestialparrotletsPickmeisha™️15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I also personally think, because there are just sooooo many stories of abusive men, that they are way more common than society wants to admit. Men are primed to become abusive to the women in their lives nearly from the day they’re born.
EDIT Just to say—Don’t beat yourself up for “attracting abusive men.” That kinda language implies that you are to blame for being in a relationship with an abusive person.
[–]getrippeddiemirinFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's true. Your observations are BASED AND PINKPILLED
[–]bootybootybootymeowFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mine just wants grandchildren and she doesn't care who it's with 😂😭 I was like, absolutely NOT!
[–]tytybbyFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your mother is SMART
[–]LooseUnderstandingFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My mom was just the opposite, she trained me in extreme pickmeism from childhood. Thank goodness I was able to break free of it in the past couple years, but unfortunately she’s still living that way at 56.
[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
[–]jimmbiePickmeisha™️5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same! My mom was raised in a catholic household and didn’t have a boyfriend until she was 19. It’s nice to have a place to get advice
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And the most important: no men who cancel our feelings and say we overact!
So many men say "Well maybe it just happened to you because X reason" but going on here made me realize how much i relate to most of the womens stories and comments.
[–]lovebun999FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I seriously wish I found it sooner. My whole 20’s were nearly destroyed. Time is so valuable 😢
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My mom would always say “men love bitches and sluts!” And I would never get it. By bitches she meant women who don’t take shit; by sluts she meant you needed to drop the nice virgin girl act/attitude. But the issue was that I never really understood.
[–]throwawayathrowaway0FDS Newbie75 points76 points77 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've had some identical thoughts to FDS philosophy for years but to see so many other women say things I feel so strongly, right down to my core -- it's so validating. Thank you, Queens!
[–]2staypresentFDS Newbie80 points81 points82 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yesss. You know, I’ve gotten downvoted and harshly ridiculed for following and suggesting this group for women in other dating groups that are struggling with LVM. So much ridicule, I’ve worried that I missed something here; however, I started using Reddit a month+ ago to help me through my divorce and this has given me such a helpful reset and made me feel so empowered, so sure I’m not making a mistake. Thanks for existing and what perfect timing I found y’all
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]cirrus_cloudRuthless Strategist8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We are so proud of you babe!! You are such a shining success ❤️❤️👑
[–]whatismedicineFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes queen!!
[–]celestialparrotletsPickmeisha™️13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Love u sis ❤️
[–]ilovemangos_14FDS Newbie46 points47 points48 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The thing is I am 18 and I never fell in love and I still am not interested in dating but I got first into being self aware about myself and males and stuff on insta and I loved it. I loved how women were empowering me through social media about red flags/what I should be careful of. And damn my standards are so fucking high for what I expect from a potential partner and I will NOT tolerate sexism around me. I know my value and I love it.
[–]LowNHighFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And damn my standards are so fucking high for what I expect from a potential partner and I will NOT tolerate sexism around me. I know my value and I love it.
This does my quite a bit more than 18 year old heart good! There’s so much misogyny on social media - give yourself credit for being critical-thinking enough to chose truly empowering, female-centered content.
[–]rainbowforeskinFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
how is this so perfect
[–]Dont_Settle_for_LessFDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My god, I can't say how fucking elated I am with this group. Most of life was spent surrounded by pickmes, men excuse-givers, and general acceptance of a sub-standard treatment.
Now I can say my truth and talk to like-minded women who have the same values as I do and don't take crap from LVMs. We're stronger together, sisters!
[–]CrackpotPatriotFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m 45 and wish I’d had this as a teen and again when I went though a divorce over ten years ago. It is a daily self affirmation. I love that young women are not taking any shit off others and are valuing themselves.
[–]nosillafFDS Newbie47 points48 points49 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Accurate 😂
[–]greenie66FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fuck yes hahaha
[–]Littlebunny080FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LMFAO I swear every time that I see that GIF I'm on the floor omg 🤣😭🤣👏🏾👏🏾 But yeah that’s so me I feel so powerful with all that knowledge and being surrounded with those smart women wow... I literally feel blessed. I hope that this group will never close. ❤️
[–]gachidami54 points55 points56 points 3 years agolocked comment (1 child) | Copy Link
Agreed. This sub really helps me learn to continually better myself as a man. This sub is extremely accurate to the men's psyche and how foolishly they can be. There are substantial flaws and possibility of higher rates of mental illness with us because of our hormones, entertaining delusional power fantasies. Obsessive, impulsive behaviours. Etc. Thank you for making this sub. I feel better reading the truth women have witnessed. Men's minds are heavily diseased because of porn at a young age clouding their minds. They think it's normal but it's a sickness. The only way we can become better is if we work really hard to change the way we think and practice good habits, stick to a higher moral code and stay disciplined, so we can treat people nicely and never treat people as objects. Thank you once again, for this sub.
[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist[M] 29 points30 points31 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Approving comment for emphasis.
[–]terunosukeFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is the greatest use for this gif.
[–]alltheroseThrowaway Account2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Couldn't agree more.
[–]geoffersonstarshipFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lol for real!!!
[–]girludontbringhomeFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was literally in tears asking what is so wrong with me that causes all of my relationships to fail when I was recommended this sub. After like 30 mins of looking though the top posts, my tears were gone and I could hardly remember why I was upset over trash in the first place😂This community has helped me so much!
[–]sadpourtoujoursFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao!
[–]Davina33FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes!
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
I’ve seen this gif before, what’s the context? Also I’m not American, can US women explain to me - is Ebony a legit name for a black girl? Isn’t it kinda insulting and racist?
[–]borzboizFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It was a popular name for black people long before it was a porn category. I’m pretty sure that’s how it got it’s name!
It’s good that you we’re concerned though! It’s important to ask these kinds of questions
[–][deleted] 67 points68 points69 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There’s nothing racist or insulting about being called ebony— she’s black and proud! I think it’s a beautiful name.
[–][deleted] 52 points53 points54 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The reason I thought it’s racist because of a black girl fetish with Ebony porn category. Didn’t known it’s an actual name
[–]hilariouslystatedFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yes, it's a real name. I've met a few girls with the name Ebony and they were all black. It's a really pretty name.
[–]cannedboelynFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I think this is from America’s next top model and no Ebony is not racist. Any girl of any race can have that name
[–]marmaladeburritoFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Agree that it is a beautiful name, somewhat common, not offensive (kind of how Bianca and Blanca means white or pale skin)... not sure people wouldn't look at a white girl strangely if she was named Ebony.
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]marmaladeburritoFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is a pretty name.
[–]cannedboelynFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There are white American girls who have names that would be seen as black girl names that are not Ebony.
[–]marmaladeburritoFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
We were specifically discussing the name Ebony bc someone had never heard it. I'm sure there are are all sorts of exceptions, but a white Ebony would get some raised eyebrows.
[–]orinjeFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel like she would at least have to have black hair or dark eyes.
[–]angelsofadversityFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
It’s from season one of America’s next top model. Her name is ebony and the scene is from when she got picked to be on the show.
[–]PurpleProboscisFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
So was she faking the tears at first? Why was she even crying? I'm still so confused!
[–]marmaladeburritoFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Her reaction was feigned surprise turning into dead ass confidence, "Oh, me? You picked me? I'm so surprised... HAHA NOT! Of course you picked me- I'm fierce and beautiful!"
[–]PurpleProboscisFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh I gotcha, so she was picked and then she cried before changing it up. Hard to tell without audio. I took it as she was crying because she hadn't been picked yet and then they called her name. Thanks for the clarification.
[–]BlackgirlwandersFDS Newbie[S] 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She was just trying to be funny. I love her lol. She was iconic.
[–]PurpleProboscisFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I didn't know they called her name before the crying, I though maybe she was crying because she wasn't picked yet and then they called her and she stopped.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wish I'd found this sub earlier but- better late than never! So glad to have found this!
[–]N3wY34rN3wM3FDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This sub in the main reason I even have the Reddit app on my phone
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[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice464 points465 points466 points (18 children) | Copy Link
[–]LifeIsABitchhhFDS Newbie145 points146 points147 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice77 points78 points79 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagpieMelonFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]penelopekittyFDS STRATEGY COACH11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagpieMelonFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]celestialparrotletsPickmeisha™️15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]getrippeddiemirinFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bootybootybootymeowFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tytybbyFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LooseUnderstandingFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jimmbiePickmeisha™️5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lovebun999FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayathrowaway0FDS Newbie75 points76 points77 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]2staypresentFDS Newbie80 points81 points82 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]cirrus_cloudRuthless Strategist8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]whatismedicineFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]celestialparrotletsPickmeisha™️13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ilovemangos_14FDS Newbie46 points47 points48 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LowNHighFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rainbowforeskinFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dont_Settle_for_LessFDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CrackpotPatriotFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nosillafFDS Newbie47 points48 points49 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greenie66FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Littlebunny080FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gachidami54 points55 points56 points locked comment (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist[M] 29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]terunosukeFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]alltheroseThrowaway Account2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]geoffersonstarshipFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]girludontbringhomeFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sadpourtoujoursFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Davina33FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]borzboizFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 67 points68 points69 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 52 points53 points54 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hilariouslystatedFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cannedboelynFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]marmaladeburritoFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]marmaladeburritoFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cannedboelynFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]marmaladeburritoFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]orinjeFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]angelsofadversityFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]PurpleProboscisFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]marmaladeburritoFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PurpleProboscisFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlackgirlwandersFDS Newbie[S] 13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PurpleProboscisFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]N3wY34rN3wM3FDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link