How many of you have found a HVM husband that really doesnt watch porn?

Forwardgash · 2021-01-31T16:13:21+00:00

There’s no such thing as a HVM who watches porn. There’s also no way of being 100 percent certain that a man isn’t objectifying women online. You can talk about it, you can set up your boundaries, and you can trust. That’s all the protection you have available. If he breaks the trust, he’s not high value and you walk away immediately.

PinkPetalCdistbeauty · 2021-01-31T16:22:11+00:00

I’m 99.9% sure a male from a former 3 year relationship (in his 40s) truly didn’t watch porn.

He is the ONLY man I’ve dated (in my 40’s) that I’ve felt certain of this on AND he seemed truly not Into it.

He was, and still is, a huge piece of shit, negative-value male tho for other reasons. Great in bed tho. 🤷‍♀️

outgrabed-momerath · 2021-01-31T16:34:33+00:00

My HVM husband did not watch porn (he is now my ex but our separation was based on me figuring out I did not want to have children). I actually used to be a porn watcher and he never felt comfortable with watching it with me. If I was gone for a long period of time, he would maybe watch a sexy scene from like Spartacus to masturbate. He never had interest in social media or ogling women for their bodies. I honestly was super suspicious about it for a long time, but I was just used to the "porn norm" before him. 12 years together and he never did.

Pasdepromesses · 2021-01-31T19:47:18+00:00

My HV ex boyfriend was uncomfortable with porn. He didn’t watch it. I was a pickmeisha back then and totally fine with it. He also wanted to make love and was against degrading sex.

I didn’t like it at first. It was out of my comfort zone. He was from a better background, he was highly intelligent, and a good person and he acted like I was very special and equal to him. He respected me. I didn’t know what to do but I stayed because he felt safe and I was really in love. The next 5 years were really good together and I’m very thankful that I met him when I was 18 and still developing. He helped me overcome a huge chunk of my trauma and reclaim my self image and confidence.

We didn’t work out because we grew up and realised we have different life goals, but he truly is a HVM. You can recognise them, because they will see you as their respected life partner.

Edit: after him I dated some LVM who were a mixture between HV and LV behaviour. Most of them didn’t watch porn though. Some of them did, or were following a lot of insta girls. When they did, it was always a problem in the relationship. The sex with the no porn guys was amazing. They also thought I was really hot. The porn/insta guys had low libido and weren’t very good. Also very critical about my appearance.

weekend111 · 2021-01-31T17:44:49+00:00

My boyfriend says doesn’t watch porn, and it takes very little to get him very excited, which indicates he’s not pornsick. Sex with him doesn’t feel pornified. But still, I’m very well aware it’s a gamble.

Maude2010 · 2021-01-31T23:20:06+00:00

Most of the men I’ve dated didn’t watch porn. (They weren’t all HVM). I’m sure they’d all seen it at some point, but they didn’t watch it regularly or need it. I know because I used to be a “cool girl” and asked if they wanted to watch it with me, which generally led to discussions about it. That said, I’m mid forties and most of those men were my age or older. Younger men I dated were all into it. They’re also more into social media and Instagram. Very few men my age seem to be on Instagram—at least the ones I know.

2021-01-31T18:23:26+00:00

Fairly sure I have, on the porn issue anyway. That doesn't make everything perfect. It's never perfect. Not using porn is a very important issue to me, though.

Altowhovian93 · 2021-02-01T05:06:52+00:00

Me! My husband has been open about past use and the things that trigger it. What helped him is he had to kick the habit before we got married. He also had to replace that habit with healthier ones. He refocused on his faith and puts more time into prayer and above all else, treats me as a person and a partner.

Porn is sadly something that men are drawn into as early as age 10. If they aren’t taught/shown that women are to be respected, and that porn, BDSM, kinks, fetishes, abuse, underage, non con, etc are wrong; it’s a hard road to get out. It’s not their girlfriend or wife’s job to make them stop, they have to make that choice on their own.

MelatoninNightmares · 2021-02-01T22:58:10+00:00

I have one. He has never been into porn. He has a fairly low libido to start with, and some experiences in his youth made him highly sensitive to sexually violent media. He admits he tried to watch it in his teens, because everyone else did. He found it disgusting and unappealing. He doesn't really masturbate. He only enjoys partnered sex. From the first time we had sex, he never showed any signs of porn influence. No jackhammering, no weird positions, no slapping/choking/spitting, no kinks or fetishes, no preference for pornified appearances or performance.

So I believe him. I can pick up his phone and go through it at any time. And I have, on occasion. I use his computer regularly. We have spent our entire relationship in tiny apartments with paper-thin walls. If he's jacking off to porn or IG girls, he's covering his tracks really well. In several years of dating + marriage, I've never seen a single thing to make me suspicious that he's hiding a porn habit.

pixelunicorns · 2021-01-31T19:35:15+00:00

Not my husband but my partner, he said he was curious as a teenager but as he got older he lost interest (I think he was more interested in real experiences). As for looking at women online, he got rid of his social media accounts years ago, also through lack of interest.

I guess it's about being with someone who thinks about more than just instant gratification through sex/masturbation.

ReignOnYou95 · 2021-02-01T05:05:00+00:00

Not me but Ive had past friends talk about their bfs not being into porn or porn style sex/rough and they had to talk him into it because they liked it.. Ive had 2 different past friends tell me those similar stories

Intelligent_Agency65 · 2021-01-31T21:55:06+00:00

My bf and I both hate porn. He definitely used to in his early teens, but I’m 99% sure he’s quit that shit. We have heated discussions about how the industry is terrible together lol

honeybeeroll · 2021-02-02T02:33:07+00:00

My friend is confident her husband doesn't watch it, and knowing him, how little he uses the internet, how much time the 2 of them spend together, how he doesn't even use technology at work, and that she has long had access to his phone, his email, and his social media, I believe it. I don't even think he had an Instagram until she helped him make one lol. I think this very much has to do with his age (early 40s) and his culturally conservative background. He just didn't grow up with this stuff and honestly I'm sure he finds porn stupid lol.

Not that I've ever dated any HVM myself but I don't think any guys I dated were porn sick. I think the first guy I was in a situationship with watched some, based on some stuff he wanted to try (nothing gross or too crazy), but any guy I've been with never had trouble getting or staying hard, they were all pretty vanilla. I'm sure they'd all been exposed to it and I assume they all watched it from time to time, which if I ever dated again I would not accept, but they were far from porn sick, based on the stories I hear here. I've been on FDS a year and I'm still shocked at the stories women share of guys who couldn't get hard or finish, or who pulled out the choking and other BDSM shit. Totally insane.

OP I think the handbook has more details, but definitely a man who is pretty vanilla, gets and stays hard when you guys are intimate, doesn't take a crazy amount of time to finish, doesn't need a death grip to finish, doesn't do any BDSM shit or crazy positions likely isn't pornsick. If he's secretive with his phone that's a bad sign. If he is into a very specific physical type, that's also a bad sign (and by this I don't mean he's into skinny girls or he's into thick girls. I mean if he's into the types of women that appear in porn: skinny but with a huge chest & butt, or he's into women who look unrealistically thick, if he has a racial fetish, if he thinks women having public hair is weird/gross, if he thinks a woman's vagina should look a particular way, etc).

If you don't want a man who watches porn at all, I think you just have to casually ask hey, so what kinda porn do you like? And see how he reacts. I've never done that but pre-FDS that was actually suggested to me by a friend, and I see some women here have tried it, and the guys reaction told them a lot.

moonlightpuddle · 2021-01-31T16:34:20+00:00

Why does this question sound like a man trying to invalidate women's expectations for their partners not to engage in porn? Hmmm. Yeah, if you find it that hard to meet men that don't watch porn perhaps it's time to re-evaluate your circles. I don't give time to pornsick men, that type of misogyny is imbedded deep into their smooth brains. The more we normalize how sick porn is, then perhaps we will start seeing it for it's depraved nature. Hedonism based in misogyny coupled with violence, all just for the gaze of men. Sickening. 🤢🤮

electroloop · 2021-01-31T17:26:32+00:00

ALL men watch porn, if you really think your partner has never watched porn don’t kid yourself. Porn doesn’t have to be hardcore full on gangbangs and shady sites. As you’ve mentioned, instathots are absolutely considered porn.

Men will always have a wandering eye. They’ll actively try to find ways to do it behind our back. I’ve even heard of stories where men fabricate entire instagram accounts under pseudonyms to watch porn and follow their favourite “instagram models”, all while remaining pious on his main account.

We live in an era where a majority of men are pornsick, because porn is so easily accessible. You have the libfem movement to thank for this!

jayda92 · 2021-01-31T18:50:52+00:00

My man 100% doesn't watch porn. I can look in his phone at any given time no questions asked, and we do sometimes when we don't have our own phones near.

He's even more anti-porn than I am. I used to be a very frequent porn watcher.

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Title	How many of you have found a HVM husband that really doesnt watch porn?
Author	Thejasminedragon1215
Upvotes	74
Comments	49
Date	January 31, 2021 12:45 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l90b78/how_many_of_you_have_found_a_hvm_husband_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-many-of-you-have-found-a-hvm-husband-that.738611 https://theredarchive.com/post/738611

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