Getting the girls you don't want / Not getting the girls you want

DiscussionReader · 2021-06-24T23:43:24+00:00

If you get dates and/or sex but not commitment it's your behavior.

If you don't get dates and/or sex it's your SMV.

Very few guys struggle with the first issue, this is why men in the pillsphere focus on SMV so much.

Odd-Dark · 2021-06-25T08:30:41+00:00

My experience with not getting girls I want comes down to availability. I will often see a girl I find attractive walking on the street but never in a socially acceptable setting. And when I do see one she's sitting with her friends. Bars seem to contain overall uglier girls than the average bus stop and it's been a while since my social circle was women my age.

There's just too many unattractive girls.

PoliticsIsBroken · 2021-06-24T23:52:37+00:00

Mostly. Personality matters, but not much compared to how you look. I don't think there's a single experiment done that showed personality even having a 10th of the correlation looks has to attraction.

As a guy ending up dating below your physical league is fairly common, given mens physical standards are more reasonable.

As a woman, pretty rare, but can happen. Usually cuz he's rich or famous etc.

IME intangibles can at most bump u up or down 1 point..and I'm being very generous.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2021-06-24T23:40:05+00:00

Guys want every girl, except the general fat girl. Men don’t discriminate with sex.

But for marriage, gotta actually want to stay with them. Gotta be nice, not fat, and etc.

mimblezimble · 2021-06-25T00:24:42+00:00

As a man, your SMV depends on the local market. You could be a 3 in one market but an 8 in another one. Hence, you can trivially solve the problem by fishing in another pond.

In all markets, however, you can't be a feminized blue-pilled simp. That's why a lot of western men don't do well, even in a hot market. A lot of them end up with the worst local sluts here in Asia, while the place is replete with decent girls that would love to latch on to a guy with a decent income.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-06-25T00:39:56+00:00

Everything makes a difference.

Hoopy223 · 2021-06-25T00:43:49+00:00

Self improvement of course but I think attitude and perception matter as well. Some people aren’t happy with what they get no matter.

Head-Language-2977 · 2021-06-25T02:35:17+00:00

I see a lot of long term couples where one person is out of the others league, but I believe the trick is they don’t start out that mismatched. This is due to factors both out of our control (some people do age better than others) and also in our control (some people get complacent when they are safe in their relationship).

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-06-25T00:09:29+00:00

Define get? When it comes to casual sex men date down. Most of the girls who will give you “free” pussy will be clearly worse than you in some way. My GF’s were always prettier than my Bootycalls/hookups

just_a_place · 2021-06-25T03:30:49+00:00

I will admit, for sex and only sex I will have just about any girl.

But for commitment? She has to matter. She has to be important to me, irreplaceable, special, unique, and very valuable to me. I have to be capable of loving her without the sex if she is truly special to me.

And no, making a guy wait for sex will not do the trick. This is something women cannot shit-test a man for.

What I mean is that sex with her will only be an afterthought, sex will take 2nd place to her well being, for example: if she gets injured or something where I can't have sex with her I will not give a fuck. I will still want to be with her and care for her. So, again, this means she is precious and valuable to me. I have only ever felt this way about a girl once in my life, and I do not believe I will be able to feel this again any time soon - if ever.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-06-25T02:50:36+00:00

Your SMV is not a perfect, static number. As you get to know someone, their revealed behavior is part of their SMV and alters it as more of them is revealed. So their is no real distinction.

SMV is an abstraction as to how attractive you are to women on average. However, individuals are not averages. We do have idiosyncracies. So it is very possible for someone with a low SMV to be found extremely attractive by someone with a high SMV due to compatible idiosyncratic traits. It isn't super rare, though the greater the SMV difference the rarer.

When women sleep with much higher value men, they are often playing a lottery of sorts hoping that they do get lucky with compatible idiosyncracies that can bridge an SMV gap. That said, especially in today's society, it's also true that many times these women don't actually understand that his SMV is that much higher than theirs.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2021-06-24T23:38:13+00:00

You should be fairly neutral toward every girl you approach and over time you want her (can be 10 minutes or 10 hours).

If you want a girl without knowing anything about her you're pedastalizing an ideal rather than a person.

801735 · 2021-06-25T00:34:31+00:00

For every "A" you don't see (whether you're male or female), tons of "perfectly suitable for you B"s seeing you, whom you don't see, pass you by daily, ladies and gentlemen. Let that sink in for a moment.

old_wise_man_ · 2021-06-25T02:52:48+00:00

The problem is that the girls I want are ........ 2D.......... why do 2D have better personalities than 3D ones?

it’s a shame shame.......oh well gotta live with it, and move on.

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CantBonkThis · 2021-06-25T05:00:21+00:00

OR does personal behavior come into play

Personal behaviour is part of overall attractiveness, especially for men.

DuncanIdaho88 · 2021-06-25T11:14:02+00:00

I've found that trying to taper down contact with a girl I'm not interested in will often backfire and have them contact me more intensely. The best way to indicate disinterest is to tell them in a gentle way.

There are plenty of women who are with men who are much more attractive than themselves, but then the man is usually socially awkward AF. If the gender roles are reversed (the woman is much more attractive than the man), he's rich AF.

People told me I was more attractive than my ex. 1,5 years later, she haven't found a more attractive boyfriend. I still loved her more than life itself until her BPD colors started appearing.

pongaminbloom · 2021-06-25T20:56:01+00:00

It depends on the person.

Sometimes it's just a matter of marketing. Being hard to get makes you appear to have more options and higher value. Being "easy" for the one you adore and "coy" for the people who are not your type is the best way to be perpetually single and frustrated. You need to cultivate mystery.

A second reason some people seem to attract all the wrong suiters is that they behave in dysfunctional ways towards those they want to date. They might be obsessive, co-dependent, showoffs, insecure, unable to be themselves etc. A lot of incels are also emotionally abusive towards women they pursue. Instead of trying to woo them, they try to destroy their self worth and make them think they can't do better than to be used

There are also cases where SMV is the problem. If someone only pursues models, but they themself look like a toad, it is likely that "all the wrong people" will like them. The wrong people include all the people that might realistically be interested.

richlad · 2021-06-26T02:25:01+00:00

You can't become Chad, u can improve yourself and some women will jump all hoops to get one with you.

Desires never end. A virgin guy might want to sleep with a random girl, even the boring girl with fat glasses and not so sexy figure will work for him and give him the high he wants.

A more experience average guy will want go for average or above average girls.

A guy who gets to sleep with top girls in highschool will strive to find some meaningful connection rather than being used for his sexual attraction and prowess

Now a guy who has charm and can score a girl on weekly basis is will be quickly bored with even hot girls who do not have huge social clout.

Such men want to sleep with women who other men desire but can't lay their hands on, these are your celebrities, female singers, models etc....

All these women love money Infact that's the motivation and flexibility which gets them to the top stage in life. They are for sale out there, they sell their time to rich men.

Only thing in life that helps get one with these women even for a day is money and some decency. It's about buying her time as a hooker yet not making her feel that she's a hooker for selling her time, that's pretty much it takes.

Mens desire will keep increasing as they move up the sexual hierarchy.

I can assure no man is happy with what he has.

This is why instead of paying celebrities to sleep with them I now have 500acres farm in US where I grow stuff, live with nature and it's much better and something everyone can afford.

No woman will make you happy at the end of the day, no woman, even the ones who gets on her knees and opens her mouth with her big sweet eyes will become boring within a few months and you'll start wanting the woman who is hard as rock and nothing you do melts her heart. You'll start going after small celebrities 30k a night. From there price only goes up and life still feels miserable other than few minutes of joy ofc.

Honestly as a guy with wealth, it is not always obvious to me if I am pulling women with money or am i that attractive? Now some women have told me they find me mysterious and attractive but I do not believe them, I believe it's s more about money but now I don't really care if its my looks or money that's pulling in women as I believe my ability to acquire wealth is also something innate I am born with just like someone born with superior looks so i don't downplay it.

At the end of the day such life also leads you towards pursuit of more and more till u are literally enjoying showering women desired by masses with piss to feel the raw manly powers. But it feels sooo wrong after the act, now I've pretty much stopped chasing women and nature is what i am in love with

I guess this is what women mean when they say, "I want to explore and find myself" and I've truly found myself after such experiences.

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