Why waiting makes sense

queenagave · 2021-07-22T12:54:32+00:00

Mmm, I beg to differ, in my personal experience narcs are able to hold the mask for longer. ABV - Always Be Vetting.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-07-22T13:15:46+00:00

Here’s the thing, most guys know about the 3-4 month rule and some are patient enough to wait longer.

I saw my LV Ex’s friend did that to this girl. He wined and dined her for 4 months. For those four months he was the perfect bf. Always driving up 2.5 hours to see her, picking up the bill, and when they slept together, it was over within the week. The girl was serious, but he said they were just casual wtf. He slept with three other women in the month.

Thestral-glow6 · 2021-07-22T13:37:45+00:00

Nah, there’s still a fair percentage of scrotes who definitely can carry on faking it past the three month stage.

dancedancedance7 · 2021-07-22T17:17:36+00:00

Oh yes they can. Imo if your vetting skills are sharp, you can sniff out issues earlier than that. Time helps but it means nothing without constant awareness.

FrenchHeel · 2021-07-22T14:51:26+00:00

There are men who fake it right down the aisle until they have a legal right to your assets.

buzzkillyall · 2021-07-22T23:46:54+00:00

I. Wish.

It was closer to three years before maskslip in my case. It was so very difficult to acknowledge, after all that time.

I would probably still be gaslighting myself and miserable if not for FDS. OMG so hard to accept that the goodness was all illusion, all bait, and never coming back.

It is awful to think we must vet forever, but NOT doing so is catastrophic.

squaremarshmallow · 2021-07-22T13:11:17+00:00

Most people can't but there's that small percentage of guys who can and you never know so don't stop vetting.

marimare21 · 2021-07-22T14:47:16+00:00

The thing is, masks can be worn to a certain extent for DECADES even, but... this strategy weeds out men only looking for easy sex - as in easy. Effort, wine and dine for months is not easy and even if it ends at least you got fun out of it! And statistically speaking, it's unlikely for men to not slip up even ONCE in months of dating if they are not genuine. Hence FDS: drop like a hot potato at the first sign of LV behavior.

HazyOdell · 2021-07-22T16:39:42+00:00

This doesn't apply to men. I saw a post of a man married to his wife for 30 years saying he just never really felt that in love with her, but it wasn't until something better came around for him did he decide to mention that to his wife. He let that woman waste 30 years! Thinking she was married to a man that loved her only to find out it was "meh," and he just hung around feeling like that towards her for 30 years...

deadinsidelol69 · 2021-07-23T12:50:36+00:00

I remember this guy I was dating at the beginning of the year. All seemed well at first, he put effort into dates, was always presentable, didn't show a single red flag, seemed genuinely interested in a relationship and made sure I knew it. Then all of a sudden at the 3 month mark, he thought he roped me in enough to tell me "oh I just want this to stay casual, I don't want a relationship." He legitimately thought I would be fine with it.

I stood up, in the middle of the restaurant, and walked out without saying a word. I got into my truck, blocked him, and drove home. The look on his face when I drove past the restaurant as I was leaving was fucking priceless.

ChanelOberlin2015 · 2021-07-22T14:32:04+00:00

I agree that waiting is good, but, there are definitely people who can hide their intentions for decades even.

Space_Gators · 2021-07-22T14:43:25+00:00

FOUR MONTHS

It’s from the book Psychopath Free, you have to wait four months. Predators know the 3 month rule and are happy to string you along. The rule is 4 months because no one can mask that long, even skilled psychos and narcissists. They are guaranteed to slip up within that time frame, at which point you block, delete, and never look back. This rule has never failed me, and making it 4 months instead of 3 has been a huge eye opener.

Ok-Appearance5982 · 2021-07-23T03:05:36+00:00

Besides pretending and let’s say the world was full of HVM. That time period is not even enough to get to know a HVM. His character , how he handles accomplishments, stress, different seasons and this goes both ways. It’s not a crash course. Now that I think of it relationships are a big investment (looking for a lifetime partner) and high risk (emotional, mental, financial and physical). In my opinion slow is better. Keep in mind that slow doesn’t guarantee a happily ever after. However , I’m sure your self love and self esteem will still be intact if the relationship ends.

MsWriteNow07 · 2021-07-23T03:07:27+00:00

I think when they say a man can only hold the mask 3-4 months, they mean he may still pretend but the big neon red flags appear. I concur.

mamadgaf · 2021-07-22T15:43:40+00:00

Hahahaha LIES. My ex-husband’s wife is a chameleon. She becomes the “perfect woman” for whoever she is with. In her previous relationship she was a gamer girl. Then she met my ex-husband (while we were still married of course) and became the perfect little housewife. She kept that mask on until she was married and pregnant to my ex-husband (more than three years). Now my kids hate her because she’s a “crazy bitch” and “gone batshit crazy”’according to them (I don’t fish for info either, my kids have freely told me these things). She’s freaking out over basic things, she’s a total hypocrite, and she’s suddenly unable to do anything around the house (blaming it on the pregnancy, of course).

The mask can stay on for years if the rewards outweigh the pain of wearing it. That said, if you’re SMART and pay attention, you’ll see through it (I did and was rewarded by being bad mouthed and cut off from my ex’s family, painted as the vindictive ex).

Title	Why waiting makes sense
Author	waltzingzmeia
Upvotes	386
Comments	26
Date	July 22, 2021 5:22 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/op7f7j/why_waiting_makes_sense/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-waiting-makes-sense.794062 https://theredarchive.com/post/794062

Comments