Couldn’t decide whether to flair this Sex Strategy or Discussion. I’ve been thinking about lube lately, especially in the context of a recent post here (in which a NVM was found to be musing about how “inexperienced” women need him to use lots of lube on them). And of course I, like many others, was thinking “wow, this guy must be terrible at sex.” But he’s not alone; lube has become pretty standard for sex, at least in a lot of circles.

On the one hand, I can see this being to women’s advantage: lube often helps make us more comfortable. This can be especially helpful if your partner is using condoms, which can be very drying and uncomfortable for you (IMO), or if he is circumcised. Surely something that leads to more pleasure for women is good?

On the other hand, though, a lot of men seem to use lube as a substitute for actually getting their partner aroused and relaxed enough before penetration. Or maybe she’s just not attracted to him, and artificial lubrication is papering over the issue. I don’t want women to be trained into ignoring the signals their bodies are sending them. Additionally, depending on the type and quality of lube you at using, it can seriously mess up your vaginal pH.

What do you all think? What is the appropriate role for lube in sex between HV partners? Is there a need for it? Did I miss an angle of analysis?