Adventures in OLD

redshoetom · 2023-06-05T13:21:02+00:00

All those women want on those apps are attention out of boredom and a compliment to make themselves feel good.

Gattsama · 2023-06-05T13:42:18+00:00

Don't use apps. Apps are for females and the top 10-20% of guys by looks. There is no shortage of females and most over 30-35 are looking. But they are also delusional, unfit and crazy 🤪

It's still a nunbers game. You need to ask out a lot of women to get a few hits. Just be open, honest vulnerable and most importantly indifferent to the process. She doesn't have any interest, good! You learn early and don't waste your time.

If you focus on yourself. On being physically fit, emotionally fit, mentally fit and financially fit; women will appear. Again, they might not be fit, but they will appear.

Meet up groups, shared hobbies, walking the park etc are good places to just say hello.

YouPeopleAreGarbage · 2023-06-05T14:13:41+00:00

Dating is a joke. Women aren't worth it. Enjoy single life.

ReeeeDrumpf · 2023-06-05T15:05:58+00:00

Depending on who you ask, women swipe left on 80-95% of men. So the fact you are getting matches is good.

Put 5 very flattering pics, a flattering profile. Then when you get a match, set a date up ASAP.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2023-06-05T14:16:26+00:00

don't be afraid to explore professional services to get your gears oiled up

Certain-Line-6351 · 2023-06-05T14:14:47+00:00

Women put up a guard when talking to you at first. Need to come off of smooth and not fucking creepy. Once that happens you need to set up a date quickly they’re getting hit up by 500 other dudes daily. You gotta work fast lol.

Or just be really good looking.

jimsmythee · 2023-06-05T15:31:53+00:00

Caveat. I did meet my wife version 2.0 online.

But yes, there are a lot of bored women who only want attention and have no intention of going out on actual dates. I’d say about 50% of the women on those sites have no interest in actual dating.

That’s why I was usually very quick to mention going out for coffee, or lunch or dinner. Those that gave me vague replies or didn’t answer that? I’d just drop off. Funny thing is? On more than one occasion I had a girl message me back as to why I dropped off and stopped pursuing her. And I told her “I’m interested in actual dating. And I just figured you’re not. So there’s no reason to continue.” And sometimes women would say “yeah, but you’re not supposed to know that.”

Accomplished-Toe5220 · 2023-06-05T20:48:11+00:00

Coffee meet ups and ice cream meet ups that way you get through alot of quantity and its always a quick public date so you can skate out if Bigfoot's sister shows up.

MoodyMusical · 2023-06-05T21:30:05+00:00

My only advice is to be genuine. It seems to work great for me. I don't try to put on an act or anything, no flattery or really any compliments. I just talk, tell them what's going on in my life, comment on random stuff, ask them questions and share stories. Every conversation that I've had has moved to texts and a date. I usually flake after that though. One I've stayed talking to but I don't have it in me to take it any farther. I had instant fireworks when I met my ex and it stayed at that level for our entire relationship. I feel like I'm both looking for that again and also dreading it. If anything the whole dating experience has shown me I'm not ready to date.

Tricky_Ice_7493 · 2023-06-05T14:00:36+00:00

I’m just as cynical on the apps as anyone - but there are absolutely some women who aren’t just looking for validation on there. The key is to quickly meet. You should be scheduling a date within the first 4 messages. Women will want to “talk” as long as you let them in the app. The longer you “talk”, the less likely you are to actually meet. When I first started using the apps, I was actually only interested in talking to them at first. I’d meet girls at bars, the gym etc. for the more organic dating stuff. I used the apps to look for girls I felt I’d be genuinely compatible with on paper. I’ve gone through a few of these girls, and every one of them slept with me the first date (red flag imo, but of course I’m going to escalate if they let me and I’m attracted) - except for the most recent one. The most recent match I got on Bumble is the most solid woman I’ve ever dated, including my ex. She didn’t let me sleep with her the first night, she’s incredibly smart and cute. It’s early and it very well could not work out, but I can’t be too cynical on the apps when Bumble connected me to the one person who has given me hope that I could feel something after me and my ex split. But the key is to get them off the apps and meet them in person almost immediately.

Ok_Being9645 · 2023-06-05T14:36:47+00:00

Hello gents! I have also been divorced for more than 2 years now, and do check this sub and some other related ones (AskMen, say). One recurring theme I keep encountering is us men wanting to get back into dating *in spite of* there being so much information out there regarding the horrors of online dating as a man. This is confirmed by the OP's observation on the time consuming aspect of of OLD. Having absorbed this information, I, for example, have not even bothered to dip my toes in online (or even real-life) dating. I am genuinely curious as how what motivates most people to jump into OLD even though it is kind of common knowledge that this avenue is so thorny. Plus, I also wondered how people find time? I am middle-aged, with a career that that demands a lot of attention, and I have my kid roughly 50% of the time. I swear I come in peace, and not trying to offend anybody. Every person does their own thing, I get it. Have a great day!

Classic_Dill · 2023-06-05T15:31:19+00:00

Welcome to the single side my brother!Soooo, dating apps are always slanted towards women, we men have a distinct disadvantage with them, part of the issue is there are more men then women looking, which basically puts you on a long bench waiting...DON'T. Make your profile, put up some nice pics and roll away, put notification son and let the app tell you when someone is interested, dont get trapped by dating apps, you have a better shot with finding a partner in an organic setting, grocery store, friend/family referral and such. Just dont ,make dating apps a full time job, make your swiping day 1 or 2 times a week and that's it. I have like a total of 75 likes across 3 apps and very few messages, its normal and annoying as well.

Don't do dinner on the first date, the first date is an interview, nothing more, drinks coffee/Booze. That way if things aren't looking up (most wont) its 15 minutes and byeeeeeeee!

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2023-06-05T16:32:51+00:00

many women are flaky, they will message you but then be barely interested in [...]

What you may not realize is that pretty much all women on these apps might be flooded with attention and thus have the privilege of being picky. Some of them may very well be bots.

Don't worry about the attention disparity. Just focus on being awesome for yourself, and it'll work out in your favor eventually.

captainchippsixx · 2023-06-05T16:41:24+00:00

They want a guy with big job, $$$, looks, travel, houses but will avoid asking directly about it so they don’t look shallow.

Be on the look out for out of date photos. Lol.

I did alright. So you can find some entertainment and dates on the apps.

MomentSpecialist2020 · 2023-06-05T17:36:19+00:00

On line dating is a relatively new way of playing the dating game. A lot of women are hookers looking for a sugar daddy etc. , some are playing for the free dinners, many are just seeking attention and validation. Most women use OLD just for entertainment. A few are real women looking for a partner. Lots of work, screening, and coffee dates to find a few good ones. I say real life is a better place to meet real women. JMHO

Zealousideal-Bear-37 · 2023-06-06T18:11:52+00:00

Gonna be honest with ya . Likes don’t mean shit. It’s pay to play . On tinder , buy super likes and initiate lots of conversations, you’ll score way more dates that way . Women (good looking ones anyway) are absolutely inundated with guys likes .

RideATX · 2023-06-05T14:08:43+00:00

It's a numbers game, persistence is the name of the game. Eventually you can build a rotation, just have to weed through the pile till you fine a few that are interested.

Alatornio · 2023-06-05T18:10:48+00:00

Complete waste of time

No_Application_2807 · 2023-06-05T19:09:33+00:00

I kind have experienced the same.

SecretDoctor8121 · 2023-06-05T21:30:02+00:00

What worked for me?Stay away from these apps n woman overall. Did give a try but as most guy I experienced the following Ghosted,Stood up,Pushed away after 2-3 mnths whit no explanation or closer. So 99% of these women want your money,attention n time.. Maybe sex n once they have it move to the next guy... Just stay away from OLD Thats works the best n 100% bulletproof

csgosilver1 · 2023-06-06T23:08:55+00:00

don't bother with the apps.

#1 your not going to want any women you will find there

#2 its just simply not a good use of your time even if all your looking for is play the numbers game on getting laid, unless your are truly a male model looks wise, in which case you really shouldn't need the apps unless your just trying to break the high score on the pinball machine

donnamommaof3 · 2023-08-25T01:01:35+00:00

Hey Gents…..I’m a married woman that has followed you forever. Worried about you, cheered you on, & hoped you made it to the other side LOL. I’m so very happy to read your updates. Be very proud of yourself as this old woman from California cares about you & your children👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Title	Adventures in OLD
Author	Apprehensive-Cost496
Upvotes	40
Comments	67
Date	June 5, 2023 1:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/141e02c/adventures_in_old/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/adventures-in-old.1221374 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221374

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