Can’t sleep

SoggyEstablishment8 · 2024-11-13T12:58:42+00:00

Lots of good advice here but I’ll just reiterate the ones that work for me.

Exercise, exercise, exercise. Even just going for a walk, especially if that’s something you rarely do, will wear you out. Try a half mile, then a mile, then a mile out and back. Find a trail, find a nice path, just leave from your house and walk aimlessly, check out the neighborhood on foot. Then hit the weights, hard and heavy, I like to do it in the morning so it fuels me for the day but wears me out for the night.

Cut out caffeine past 2-3pm. I can tell the difference in my sleep if I have a drop any later.

Melatonin - it’s a wonder. It’s fairly natural, it’s what our brain produces to tell us it’s time to go bed. They probably extradt it from somewhere terrible but ignore that. I usually do 2mg during low stress times, I crank it up to 10mg during the stressful ones. I’m at 10mg right now as I navigate my separation with 3 kids. Take it about an hour before bed and be ready for bed. If I take it and don’t go to sleep I start getting weird leg aches and feel really terrible. Be ready for bed, even if it’s only 9-10pm.

Last and this may not be popular, just get up at 4am. Dont just lay there fighting it and trying to go to sleep, it will never work. Just start getting up, look at it as natures way of forcing you to get an early start on the day. Make some coffee if that’s your thing, go for a walk if you live somewhere warm. Do something for you in that time. My wife and I have had issues for 5 years now off and on (emotional affair we can’t seem to recover from) and I’ve slowly embraced the morning life. I used to be a textbook night owl, could sleep until 2pm when I met her 15 years ago in my late 20s. Now I routinely am up at 5am, sometimes 4am if the cortisol comes early and I make coffee and watch the sunrise over our beautiful mountain landscape. It’s my solace before the storm of morning life with 3 kids in elementary and middle. I miss the late nights and I have visions of them again in my future single life, but the morning really is something special and every single rich, famous or powerful person will tell you they wake up on the early side. There’s outliers for sure but the majority are up at 4-5am grinding and probably sleeping like a baby later in the day.

Hope it helps OP. Good luck

Sollrend · 2024-10-31T18:46:45+00:00

It's stress. Anytime I've got something big going on in my life I wake up early until the stress goes down.

Suspicious_Dot6179 · 2024-10-30T06:58:15+00:00

I can recommend seeing a doc and getting a month script for actual legit sleeping pills (not over the counter rubbish). Get one that takes a bit longer to work but keeps u asleep longer. Doc will know. U feel great the next day too. Don't mess with silly sleep aids use the real thing. It resets ur sleeping patterns.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-10-30T04:54:43+00:00

Gym/sauna/cold plunges/hot tub.. Do a sauna /cold plunge cycle for 2 or 3 times. Then take melatonin And baby sleep you will have

modernmanagement · 2024-10-29T21:38:27+00:00

Go and get laid. I sleep so well after. Since my stbxw asked to separate just over a month ago, I've had more sex than the last 4 years of my marriage. My side chick also has trouble sleeping after a break up, and she is slowly healing too. the magic of sex is real.

Beauty2218 · 2024-10-29T20:20:32+00:00

Take melatonin. Don’t listen to the directions too much I’ve been taking 5 x 5mg per night for the last 30 years.

kimboslice3345 · 2024-10-29T19:56:26+00:00

What happened? In the divorce?

Feisty_Elderberry_96 · 2024-10-29T18:30:26+00:00

otc sleep medication. I use zzzquil every once in a while. Melatonin didn't really do much for me. Try to set a routine for bed, whatever that may be.

One thing that helped me - and I admit I don't do this nearly enough - turn off the TV and screens an hour or two before bed . . . and read. No blue light, no screens - just a ... book.

SnooSprouts5398 · 2024-10-29T17:58:55+00:00

Maybe a Change in diet could help

fixingmedaybyday · 2024-10-29T17:58:51+00:00

This might sound woo woo, but I’ve used sleep hypnosis podcasts with some decent success.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-10-29T17:29:14+00:00

Cortisol is spiking. Buy a cortisol blocking supplement. If you are ready for trt that will also reduce cortisol production and allow you to handle stress much better than a natty male.

ctgjerts · 2024-10-29T16:45:35+00:00

thc edibles if you can.

factsfry · 2024-10-29T16:41:10+00:00

Stay closer to your loved ones. A similar situation got better when parents moved to my home and then suddenly I started having better sleep until late in the morning.

AvacodoCartwheeler · 2024-10-29T16:20:27+00:00

I just want to say that Benadryl is NOT a sleep aid and it shouldn't be used like that. There are several OTC options for sleep - please just try Melatonin then if that isn't enough try one of the other options that are intended to help you sleep.

In short, Benadryl will make your brain think it's asleep when it's awake. Granted, the dose has to be a good bit over rec dose, but your body will get resistant to Benadryl over time, starting the cycle of taking more and more. It's a deliriant when overused, and can cause you to hear and see things that aren't real. After-effects can last days/weeks.

It's kinda nasty stuff.

thraxx171 · 2024-10-29T14:59:33+00:00

Ditto, it's that 3-4 window waking up in panic. I find putting in a pair of earphones and meditating back to sleep. Drs gave me some hydroxyzine a drowsy antihistamine, but I feel groggy the next day. A walk or a workout helps too. Hang in there, i hope it gets better.

ElFrijole · 2024-10-29T14:57:47+00:00

Honestly I had problems sleeping like my mind couldn't shutdown. I started taking 3 or 4 puffs of herb before bed and have slept amazing since.

Sea_Employment4100 · 2024-10-29T14:36:21+00:00

First 3 months were a disaster. I recommend walking a lot, melatonin, and a deep sleep hypnosis session from YouTube.

WildBeing1584 · 2024-10-29T14:17:43+00:00

At 1st I was sleeping well. I'm still living with stbx until dec1 but now I'm waking up at 1am or so with like mini panic attacks and I can't get back to sleep. I took half a Tarazadon last night which helped but they always make me groggy throughout the day.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-10-29T14:16:47+00:00

First three months my sleep was a disaster but it did get better.

I tired melatonin but had insane dreams.

The less you see of the other person, that helps.

Most-Ad2879 · 2024-10-29T13:25:05+00:00

You have to break the cycle of taking benadryl. It may make you fall asleep, but it won't be quality sleep (and that's the most important thing) and it stays in your system and makes you groggy the next day.

(Pilots aren't allowed to fly for 60 hours after taking benadryl. Abundance of caution, for sure, but that shows you how long it stays in your system and effects you.)

This will pass.

Medicating will hurt in the long run. The most I would take is 3mg of melatonin. You don't need more.

ConfidentHyena2662 · 2024-10-29T13:10:33+00:00

Journal, therapy, psy meds, exercise, sleep routine, read books not on your relationship or relationship problems. Try to only think about your problems at specific times of the day. (I.e. I’m only going to think about this stuff from 4-5PM, journal about it and then find something to take your mind off it.) I did Brazilian jujitsu. It helped with the physical aggression. I did what I mentioned above and then went to jujitsu pissed off. I would get humble because I’m new to the sport, but it brought me down tremendously on the anger scale. The whole waking up in the middle of the night is from cortisol spikes. You have to bring down your stress hormones. Stopping alcohol for 4 weeks is what did that for me. It’s not a perfect format, but I was in bad place and needed to throw the kitchen sink at my blues. I hope this helps.

El_Picaflor215 · 2024-10-29T12:27:56+00:00

Good luck brother. We’ve all been there.

Joocewayne · 2024-10-29T12:20:55+00:00

I went through this during my separation and divorce. I eventually resorted to sleep aids like Benadryl and a prescription just so I could get enough sleep to function at work and as a dad.

It does get better after a while and it’s one of those things you have to endure to get through to the other side.

Fwiw, the prescription I tried was Trazodone. I asked for something non-addictive. It worked. I slept! The next morning I woke up with a super rigid erection and it would not go away.

I am apparently part of the 1% of the population that gets priapism from trazodone. I ended up in the emergency room, getting it injected with multiple rounds of lidocaine, saline and phenylephrine, then mechanically drained. They had to do it twice to make it go soft.

Not a great day, but I sleep well now and my D still works like a champ.

Low-Impact-9695 · 2024-10-29T10:54:38+00:00

St John's Wort, 5-HTP throughout the day, Melatonine 45 mins before sleeping time.

Happened to most of us.

anarchosyn · 2024-10-29T10:53:44+00:00

Talk to your doctor. There are many options, and one will work for you.

Exactly65536 · 2024-10-29T10:20:49+00:00

Any stimulants in your diet? Coffee, tea.

Benadryl from what I read is anti-histamine, it's not supposed to help you sleep. You'll have less of an allergy though.

randomly421 · 2024-10-29T10:06:27+00:00

Try insight timer or one of the meditation apps. If you have an open mind to that kind of thing anyway.

berniefl44 · 2024-10-29T09:46:59+00:00

That also happened to me for the first few months. It’s the stress and the anxiety of a divorce that causes that. It usually goes away after a few months or 6 months or so. It’s all part of the process unfortunately. Now that I’m free from a controlling ex wife I’m much happier.. Always being told what to wear, what to do and when to take a shower and what not to do. I feel relief now. lol …. Good luck and it does get better in time…

Title	Can’t sleep
Author	life_changin_41
Upvotes	12
Comments	38
Date	October 29, 2024 9:41 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1geqn8g/cant_sleep/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/cant-sleep.1534062 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534062

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