ED?

beezo123 · 2024-08-03T10:20:42+00:00

Drink a lot of water and don't drink much alcohol leading up to sex.

Since dating again, I have had some serious struggles to get it up and to stay up, especially with condoms. I believe it is largely mental. I got Cialis or blue chew and I take this with a new partner to take the pressure off. I can last indefinitely and I have to work to come. I have a regular Friends with benefits who I have no problem with anymore. I've been with my latest girlfriend a handful of times and been on Cialis all the time. I'm going to try without this next time.

Most women will understand if you say since the divorce this has been an issue and it's not them. However they'll still get self-conscious.

Lose weight and improves everything.

bkdad75 · 2024-08-01T01:04:42+00:00

Yeah, a similar thing with not finishing. I think it might be anxiety, given that I'm still in the process. Also, just the magnitude of the rejection, and some cruel stuff she said about how great it is with her new man. She kinda destroyed my confidence, and it'll be a while to build it up again. Damn she was a piece of work!

david10277 · 2024-08-01T00:38:10+00:00

Sleep with younger (legal) girls

Works wonders for ED ...ahahah

BrughMaster · 2024-07-31T23:47:24+00:00

I had the same issue after a 17 year relationship and turning 40. I got my doctor to prescribe me some 20mg sildenafil and that helped with ED but the biggest thing is whatever is going on in your head and the chemistry you have with your partner. If you’re concerned about ED keep that line of communication open with your partner and talk about it. Maybe try moving slower with more emphasis on foreplay and a build up and less emphasis on orgasm.

captainchippsixx · 2024-07-31T23:21:10+00:00

1- restrict your self satisfaction 2-Don’t be afraid to take matters into your own hands”hand” when with her. 3- there are some supplements that work well

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-07-31T21:53:51+00:00

Very common. Cialis is great if you have issues getting hard. Like you I can last hours now that I'm older. I first started noticing time to ejaculating increasing in my late 30s. I'm 48 now. I finish maybe one in ten times.

The ladies are happy. I make them cum 3-4 times in 30-45 mins then I call it good. They can be self conscious at first and think it is them. Communication is key. I actually enjoy sex a lot more now that I'm focused on them rather than myself finishing.

Enjoy the long sessions, your girl certainly is. Don't think you have to finish to have fun.

Your t levels are one part of the equation. You'll also want to check estradiol, prolactin, and progesterone.

creeg35 · 2024-07-31T20:17:41+00:00

Less porn watching

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2024-07-31T18:45:01+00:00

And My BMI is 20 and I do 200 pushups and air squats daily.

No meds

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2024-07-31T18:43:03+00:00

My mouth kept opening and opening as I read this.

I am 48, signed my MSA last week. I have been emotionally checked out with the Ex for YEARS. The last time we had sex (years ago), I was a 1 pump chump. Good, lets get that over with.

I have been dating an incredible woman and the first time we were gonna do it, I was petrified that I was going to be a 1 pump chump, but alas! I was strong, LIKE BULL!!, and I couldn't believe how long I was lasting. So much so, she was wondering if she "had to be concerned".

I was able to finish, but I ALSO started to wonder myself and then I got all in my head about it, and now I think about it all the time with her. I mean it's FREAKING cool to last like a porn star (how those guys do it, I have no idea), but I REALLY would like to just pull up her skirt and have a quickie sometimes.

Wow, I can't believe other guys are feeling the same thing I am. Does Cialis help you "deliver" faster?

AttemptScary4550 · 2024-07-31T18:00:42+00:00

Similar. No meds. A little overweight but ne er had the issues until now. In a new relationship. Things are amazing but it takes a lot of work to get off and sometimes not hard for long enough. A new challenge in life.

S33TREES · 2024-07-31T17:57:31+00:00

Idk just keep banging away

Heavy-Bench-5378 · 2024-07-31T17:43:21+00:00

Pretty normal, my stbx (she filed for divorce) has a long history of violence with me, she'd hit me when we'd disagree or argue, it got pretty bad for many years. It made sex difficult because I wanted it all the time and she would use it as a bargaining chip. It was as I was getting older, she's the same age but got more combative with age whereas I mellowed. The last year or so it was difficult to get in the mood, I'd get hard, and she looks great, but couldn't hold a hard erection and it was because of too much emotional damage.

I'm now on the apps, have a date for tomorrow, no issues with new ladies, but I did do a lot of therapy to cope with the emotional trauma and separation stress. I feel bad for my 3 kids, none of them wanted us to divorce. Oldest is with me and we're fighting over the 2 younger ones.

Responsible_Echo_887 · 2024-07-31T17:38:37+00:00

Don't beat yourself on it. Look at it from a different perspective if the pussy is good you wont last as long if the pussy ain't great then your going to last long.a pillow princess ain't great. Age can make a difference too.

WindowFuzz · 2024-07-31T16:45:58+00:00

I think as we get older, we need to be more open about what is considered a sexual experience. I like to think about it as hard sex, soft sex and touch sex. Hard sex is the traditional form of sexuality which requires an erection. Soft sex is when a man cannot have an erection, but can still have a mutually enjoyable experience through tantra and other techniques. And touch sex is mostly Sensate therapy. The key point is that all three can lead to a sense of love and connection, and that is really what we want. So if you can have that kind of discussion with her, and be happy with any outcome as long as there is love and connection, it will be fine. Almost all of us will become impotent, so we might as well figure this out sooner rather than later.

Left-Signature-5250 · 2024-07-31T16:22:59+00:00

I have the same experience 42 years old, with my new GF for 18 months now. I have no drive at all, no Lexapro or anything. Testosteron in 800s (pretty high for my age). Regular lifting since I was 18.

I went to the doctor, everything was normal. I would say that I handled the divorce surprisingly well even though she did me hella dirty. Maybe I completely suppressed it all, and that's why.

Anyway, I have been taking 5mg Cialis every other day for a year now, which works very well. So the GF is happy. Will start psychotherapy next month to maybe get to the bottom of it - maybe 🤷🏻‍♂️

My take on it all is: it is pretty normal. I am glad that Cialis exists and helps to hold me over until I am through the emotional woes. Might take years. Who knows. The kids are small, and I see them only every other week. It hurts every time I need to say goodbye to them.

zauriel1980 · 2024-07-31T15:37:13+00:00

I’ve only had sex with one woman since separating. We did it maybe 6 times. I had occasional issues with my stbx in terms of staying hard during sex, so I signed up over at Hims for some of their chewable mints. Used one every time. Definitely worked for staying hard.

But both the first and last time I had sex with the new girl, I had issues getting off. Took quite a while the first time; the last time I couldn’t climax at all which was disappointing for both of us. I have no explanation because it went swimmingly the other times we did it.

I’m 43. I’ve never been on any other meds so that’s not a factor. And I dropped 25 lbs. after the separation and have been working out for 4 months so I’m arguably in much better shape than I was with my stbx.

I know there are de-sensitizers out there for guys dealing with being premature, but I had wondered if something existed to do the opposite. Found a couple products but never bit the bullet to try them out. Might be worth looking into though.

conker574 · 2024-07-31T15:23:02+00:00

It's tough finding proper emotional intimacy where you can effectively get it up and have passionate sex after a divorce. But.... take your time bro. It'll "come" in time

ww3historian · 2024-07-31T15:12:27+00:00

It’s a common thing that nobody talks about. Separation is a huge stressor, like a death. And you’re still in it and facing divorce. There’s also part of your subliminal brian that thinks you’re cheating. You’re probably a sensitive guy. What helped me was Cialis, that will get you going with a lady and then later you can stop taking it, once your brain is used to her. Talk to your doctor about Cialis

I was told that testosterone is only for the drive, not erection. What’s your BMI? If you’re overweight that can also cause issues. 40 is young! Don’t worry about your age, worry about BMI and mental health, no stress

jambazaza540 · 2024-07-31T14:55:53+00:00

There are a lot of variables at play in your post—divorce, Lexapro, exercise, testosterone. Taking the 30,000-foot view, I think it is pretty normal to experience changes as you age, so take some initial comfort in that. I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely not the guy I was at 17, or 25, or 32 for that matter. And the same is going to be true for any woman you hook up with, especially if they are around 40 years old. It just happens.

lebonroidagobert · 2024-07-31T14:54:27+00:00

it’s prob the meds. i used to have those weird side effects when i took it in my early 30s

PacoPecoPena · 2024-07-31T14:49:18+00:00

Sorry I don't have any advice for you only questions. You mentioned Lexapro. Do you think that has something to do with it? I was recently prescribed it but have yet to start taking it. Kinda fearful of the side effects to be honest.

Title	ED?
Author	Critical-Club-7726
Upvotes	8
Comments	53
Date	July 31, 2024 2:43 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1egoxx9/ed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ed.1525889 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525889

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