Excellent Insight

upvotersfortruth · 2025-04-02T03:09:42+00:00

Link allowed for providing sufficient context and being relevant.

General rule: no links, if you’re in doubt message the mods before posting

DaveTheDrummer802 · 2025-04-04T10:12:06+00:00

I stopped having sex with my wife when I realized it was duty sex, and not for fun/enjoyment.

Nothoughtiname5641 · 2025-04-03T01:21:40+00:00

Fuck marraige. I want a family, but honestly I'm unwilling to give into this BS. Being cornered into a spot where someone can just play victim.

rocknharley02 · 2025-04-02T23:18:56+00:00

First of all, I disagree with you and the premise that women don't do this consciously. Of course, some do not do it consciously, some don't care some are intentional. Some are physical limitations health, for example.. I believe there is some Is nuance, but if A. Woman cannot have sex or does not want sex. That does not mean that she can not help her partner out out with relieving the stress that comes without having sex.. He or she should help their partner in that regard.

OkEmphasis5923 · 2025-04-02T17:44:18+00:00

Its a good video but it doesn't get to the root cause of what's going on. Its ok for society to acknowledge that marital sex can be predictable and boring. Its ok for society to acknowledge that a lack of hot and heavy sex doesn't mean something is wrong with the relationship. There's a good book called Mating in Captivity that addresses these challenges head on. As a society we need to have open and honest conversations about how sex and attraction evolves and sometimes wanes but that's not an excuse to cheat or withhold it.

Upstairs-Studio8509 · 2025-04-02T15:11:06+00:00

Western society has conditioned and trained women to believe that they hold all the cards. And men have been conditioned to believe that sex, respect, affection etc. are rewards for good behavior.

It's a twisted perspective that leads to a lot of divorces. This needs to change on a societal level.

THX1138-22 · 2025-04-02T11:37:08+00:00

Women do this (withhold sex) when they lose respect for their man. Their man gives them the “ick” because he is weak and subservient; Mother Nature has programmed women, over several hundred thousand years, to seek strong men who are good providers since women will be dependent on them during childrearing. A weak man will not be able to protect her against other men. Of course all that is nonsense in our modern world, but you can’t change our dna.

Since toxic feminism (which is prevalent at universities, in the media and at the American psychological association) does not allow women to acknowledge that men have a natural role as providers, they must come up with other reasons for why women lose attraction. Answers include: imbalance of chores, loss of emotional connection, the patriarchy, etc.

But these are all just red herrings. Sure, we should help equally with chores and have an emotional connection to our partners, but that won’t necessarily improve sexual intimacy. You can see that in all of the comments to this post.

Instead, we need to cultivate leadership and sense of purpose so our partners can respect us as strong men. And we need to do it in a way that is not toxic—we can be thoughtful/considerate, but still decisive and strong. But, There are few role models for this, the media and toxic feminist are pressuring us to remain simps, and it is hard to break out of our past behavior as simps.

Toxic feminism seeks to empower women and since they view power as a zero sum game, they must disempower men.

Psychacks (on YouTube) has some great content that can help guide us. We each need to find our purpose and be the man we were meant to be.

AdIndividual3974 · 2025-04-02T04:43:08+00:00

This played a huge issue in my marriage. She’d say “well if you helped more around here with laundry, giving the girls baths and other chores I’d find that sexy.” Did all the above and she still denied me sex. The only way we had it is if I asked her a day or more in advance and she was able to plan for it. Then when the girls got to bed I’d get an eggplant emoji letting me know it was time. Never was sex spontaneous. I told her several times we were like roommates that were just raising kids together. She left me because she found me on a sex message board talking to other posters who were women. These ladies were from Ireland and I live in US as I didn’t want any possible temptations. She said it was emotional cheating. I knew long before that the marriage was over. She filed 6 months before that and waited for her chance. She was already with someone else. Been 2 years and I’m still struggling to put pieces back together but I’m finally to the point where I just think FUCK HER for all she put me through after I made change after change to try and please her. She even made comments about that saying it was a turnoff that I was doing everything she wanted and being too nice.

CommercialConcern828 · 2025-04-02T02:21:47+00:00

Your wife has first crack at your libido.

Not full custody.

muscularmusician · 2025-04-02T00:29:08+00:00

For this video only seems like the tip of the iceberg... through withholding sex and intimacy.. for years. I went to a very, very dark place.. my kids are the only reason I'm still here, if I'm honest. I've made a lot of progress and the more time goes by, the more connections I make and revelations I have about the downfall of my marriage.

Thanks for sharing this video OP.

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2025-04-01T23:09:37+00:00

I’m sorry but just want to say anyone that stays in a sexless marriage 11 years has their own issues.

jimmycrackcode · 2025-04-01T22:48:14+00:00

Monogamy just doesn’t work. There. I said it. Prove me wrong.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-04-01T22:43:06+00:00

It's a weapon and they know how to use it. My wife absolutely refused to give BJs for the past few years. I would maybe get one a year. I'd get frustrated as hell. She withheld a lot on purpose. I feel like she did that to drive a wedge and give her an excuse to cheat.

The dude she cheated with, man she fucked that dude every which way of Sunday. Would meet him in parking lots just to give him head.

Like who the fuck is this woman and where has she been hiding?

Title	Excellent Insight
Author	Boglehead101
Upvotes	47
Comments	44
Date	April 1, 2025 9:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jp838g/excellent_insight/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/excellent-insight.1548343 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548343

Comments