Marital Asset

Kwen_Oellogg · 2021-11-24T12:07:30+00:00

I spent 20 years in the Military. The US Congress decided that half my Military Retirement pay belonged to my cheating ex wife.

And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-11-24T12:33:43+00:00

The portion of the pension that accrued during the marriage is a marital asset.

Marriage is an unconscionable contract.

Flogginga_dead_horse · 2021-11-24T14:32:13+00:00

What I have learned - the hard way - the very hard way:

Don't marry somebody with a significantly lower education than yourself
Don't marry somebody with a significantly lower income than yourself
Don't create a stay-at-home mom. Over time they will resent you for not having a good working life and you will pay up in divorce.
Create a solid prenup using an attorney. Get the prenup verified by another attorney.

The short version of the above would be: Don't get fucking married ...

Asok_the_Intern · 2021-11-24T12:40:55+00:00

These are things we all need to research and know firmly BEFORE we take the plunge. Love is good and all but when you factor in marriage it straight up becomes a contract.

pegleg_legal · 2021-11-24T12:36:59+00:00

Oh the cops and firemen I represented in Chicago. Pension was EVERYTHING. Lost focus on other issues. The law is the law. Anything earned during marriage is presumed to be marital. Give her the house to try to buy her out of the pension? Meh.

It may not be right but your case isn't going to change it. Get your fucking union to lobby the state legislature to change the law.

PoddleMeister · 2021-11-24T13:59:18+00:00

It depends, doesn't it?

If you agree that one person is going to take a hit on their career to look after kids then it seems fair enough; the commitment is shared equally, it just happens that one person earns money whilst the other cares for children. And that's the way it used to be, but national laws haven't caught up.

But it is unfair if one chooses to freeload, breaks the spirit of marriage through an affair, or causes harms like mental abuse. And especially, especially all three.

Orlando1701 · 2021-11-24T18:14:47+00:00

Yeah. I’m retired Air Force and this is a thing I’m dealing with too. And you’re right it’s a crime. My ex was an active obstacle to the second half of my military career. My final deployment, which was the only one we were married for, she failed so badly at being on her own that my mom had to come up and put the house back in order and take care of our son. A couple years later I get a stateside 365 and I’m offered to make it a PCS and bring them with me but she insists she’s learned and wants to prove she can stand on her own. The water to the house gets cut off from non-payment and her solution is to take our son and move in with her mom. My security clearance gets temporarily suspended because turns out she was spending the mortgage buying shit on Amazon. But now she wants half my military pension. Sure. Maybe if you weren’t a problem that I had to do contingency planning for anytime you were left alone for more than 24-hrs.

JD-Anderson · 2021-11-24T22:40:25+00:00

I agree it’s completely unfair, but I was a fortunate man. My ex divorced me young and I was employed at a place that didn’t have a pension or retirement plan. She had a pension so I got the house she didn’t want anyway without paying her half the equity. But she would have absolutely taken me to the cleaners if she waited till now to divorce me.

Soggy-Occasion3930 · 2021-11-24T16:19:16+00:00

All the more reason to not get married especially if you are the breadwinner and your employer offers a pension. The biggest thing that drives me crazy is that the courts view income/pensions as 50/50 marital asses but certain women wouldn't even bother going with you if you didn't have money, college degree, good paying job etc. To get those things takes significant time and money. If you didn't have that college degree, you wouldn't even be making a high income most likely. The courts don't even recognize this factor. It is very for certain women to just "wait at the finish line" and pick from there but when you're hustling to make your money, they won't even bother to look at you.

That's why I think it is more important than ever, especially for wealthy or high-income men, to stop trying to "provide" for women. That's an obsolete and honestly thankless thing to do and you will only be punished for doing it.

Ridethelightning1987 · 2021-11-24T16:35:13+00:00

Reasons I’ll never be married

cloudburr · 2021-11-24T17:27:01+00:00

You have to fight it.

Depends on where you are, but my lazy non working ex wanted to take half my pension.

I drew the line and said fuck no, she got zero. Nothing.

mehmench · 2021-11-24T21:28:14+00:00

You agreed to a shitty contract that you probably didn't understand at the time was in fact just a contract.

A contract on all your earnings.

A contract on all your property.

It's essentially a lien on all your earnings and a debt you will have to repay for the time she spent with you.

Problem is, you agreed to it. You weren't fully appraised of your rights before hand but you can't really claim that in court. 'I didn't know' isn't a defense here.

It isn't 'fair' but you know what they say, why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

gottrips · 2021-11-24T15:24:32+00:00

Does it matter the amount of years you're married if they get the retirement pension? In the military.

pacinor · 2021-11-25T17:12:39+00:00

I had my wife arrested for domestic violence and i have to give her half of my retirement and alimony for 4 years. Yay for no fault states. FML

cciv · 2021-11-24T14:07:08+00:00

Why wouldn't it be? Pension is just deferred income.

Guards_Red_911 · 2021-11-25T07:46:42+00:00

This topic is subjective and could be vary biased depending on perspective. How big can your retirement be to not wanting to give half ? If you had already been working before you tie the knot. She is only allow to touch the retirement from when you got married to the time of divorce. I see alot of comments but it's pretty one sided. If you swore a vow and got married wouldn't you want your other half to have something to leave with ? Afterall there was love and it was really about money until things go south. Who should we blame for the fall out ? What's the context that cause the marriage to deteriorate? I see alot of gun ho men here claiming marriage is useless or it's is a contract. Well basically it is and If you got the balls to court a lady and to marry her obviously you should own up and pay up. Situation may vary but if you married a lady who is a stay home mom and gave her life devoting to be a mother and house maker.. despite that you think she deserves nothing in the end when marriage fall apart ? That's selfish thinking. I myself have posted before worrying about my piece of the pie and actually initiated to opted in for post nup I even paid my wife's lawyer. I explained she will always been taken care of. No doubt about it. But this is just to ensure we look beyond finance and strengthen our relationship. She happily signed with few changes such as not waiving spousal support. Right now I am earning more but in few years she might make more than me. This is also an assurance that in the future things go sour I won't touch her money.. you gotta meet folks half way no matter what situation youre in. What may seem unfair to you may seem even less fair from the other side. It's never about yourself if it is and your retirement is at risk why bother swearing to "no matter rich or poor that you will love her".. just playing the devil's advocate here. To each his own as situation may vary and certain degrees of consideration needed to be made but I would suggest get a pre nup If your all that worry about ur retirement account. Jeff bezo owned up and paid billions to his ex wife. Do you see him bitching and she actually donated everything anyway.. lol. If one going to view this world as one sided and just worrying about pennies on dollar then I suggest you live a lonely life clinging on to the money and wait to move in to a retirement home where a nurse can wipe ur ass and change your diaper instead of your other half who truly cares about you.

Title	Marital Asset
Author	Raul_Bloodworth
Upvotes	19
Comments	61
Date	November 24, 2021 12:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/r13lgs/marital_asset/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/marital-asset.1086802 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086802

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