My wife (45f) and I (47m) have been married for 18 years. In September we started on, what has been so far, an extremely amicable divorce. I know a lot of us have a lot harder time with this process, but I've been counting myself as one of the insane and lucky few that would still be a very close friend with my ex. I guess that, for us, people drift apart, and sometimes want very different things later in life.

We had a nice day on Saturday. Friends over, drinking gin and packing/cleaning to prep our house for sale. After everybody left she and I made dinner, and had a good evening. I had a gut-wrenching feeling as the night came to close. As she was leaving to go back to her girlfriend's place I told her that I had a horrible, sudden feeling that I was never going to see her again. She laughed and said "I'll be back on Monday for us to work on financial disclosures."

On Sunday morning, at her friend's house that she was staying at, she had a brain aneurysm rupture and subsequent major stroke. She had to be airlifted to a hospital down town. For the last 6 days she has been on life support, in a coma. The only prognosis they've been willing to offer is "hour-to-hour".

I felt like, for the last month, that was in a place where I was getting through the grief and I could see myself coming out the other side as a divorcee. I don't know how I can possibly get through this as a widower.

I'm not sure why I'm writing all this other than to process. I'm so alone. I'm so frightened. I've suffered loss before, but I didn't know that pain like this existed. I guess, for those of you going through divorce and you don't hate your spouse, please give her a hug. You genuinely don't know when somebody you have given your whole life to is going to have their last day.