Is redpill right about pair bonding?

fathergoose77 · 2022-10-05T17:39:52+00:00

No. There is no such biological, neurological, or psychological phenomenon that has been proven in humans.

It is an RP tactic to shame and control women while feeling justified in their own hypocrisy. RPs are upset that some women have what they want, sex, so they find a way to villainize these women to make themselves feel more superior/in control, “sure, she has had more partners than I have, but it surely will backfire on her later! I am right. I win.”

And when asked “but what about men who sleep around?” Then it’s like “well yeah! Any man would! It’s natural!” They’re just angry and projecting, and then they cite super religious, biased sources that say any sex before marriage is bad.

Like, if someone wants a partner who has had similar lifestyle experiences (say, someone who doesn’t engage in short flings or and has only had one relationship), it’s ok to prefer to be with someone similar, but it’s not ok to demonize those just for choosing a different lifestyle, and that’s what RP tries to do.

domitori3 · 2022-10-05T14:21:27+00:00

destroys their pair bonding ability and men pair bond slowly, so it's not a problem for players

It's an awful example of broscience. There is nothing to support such claims, nor anyone in redpill cares to provide any evidence of that.

SweelFor- · 2022-10-05T14:23:12+00:00

Is redpill right about

No. The answer is no. If you are interestied in learning about psychology then I recommend listening to psychologists

Newbie1955 · 2022-10-05T23:29:12+00:00

I spend quite a bit of time addressing this issue in my book, because it. keeps. coming. up.

Here is the short version: It's all a lie. The study they keep referencing was done by Dr. Rebecca Turner and first used to support this claim by a Dr. Eric Keroack in his paper written for a Christian abstinence magazine. Keroack used his political position to get this idea mainstreamed, but Turner's research had literally nothing to do with pair bonding. Keroack took some idea she was playing with about oxytocin, put it together with some assumptions about monogamy in prairie voles (which was later proven to be a false assumption anyway), and leapt to the conclusion that women cannot pair bond after too many sexual partners. Keroack, knowing that very few people bother to check sources, literally listed Turner's study to give validity to his own religious ideology. The scientific community, and especially the researchers who did the work Keroack references, call his ideas and what red pill takes as gospel complete fantasy.

spiraldinosaur · 2022-10-05T14:26:53+00:00

As is the case with virtually all RP advice; no there's basically no truth to it and I doubt there's much good science to back it up either.

Everyone is different, and everyone wants different things at different times in their lives. I've heard of women who have been in one committed relationship their whole lives eventually wanting to have sex with other men because it's an experience they've never had. I know a lot of women who slept around while they were younger then settled down later. I know men who cannot commit to a relationship for the life of them, and I know men who just want a single, loving relationship.

Just because someone has a high body count does not mean they can't settle into a committed relationship. And just because someone has always had committed relationships does not mean they won't ever want to go through a slut phase.

It's simply not that simple. Human psychology is so insanely complex that such blanket statements are pointless.

yourwildlight · 2022-10-05T16:53:42+00:00

I've never heard of this brand of red pill rhetoric before. With biological terms like "pair bonding" you'd think there would tons of research on the topic but I'm not coming up with much. I found studies on prairie voles and titi monkeys that include sections on how pair bonding evolved in humans but not on why promiscuous women are worthless. But I did get to read some interesting papers on the benefits of promiscuity in female animals so that was fun.

Do you have any papers you could direct me to on this subject?

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-10-05T15:32:24+00:00

Not really. There is a corraltion but it’s related to that women with worse ability to pair bond are more likely to go out and get a higher BC. Avoidant attachment, high sociosexuality. Those women would have had a low ability to pair bond regardless.

As far as I’m concerned there are no studies supporting the idea that sex with multiple people makes someone lose the ability to pair bond.

peraonaliD · 2022-10-05T15:07:27+00:00

No, it isn't. There is no evidence such a thing affects humans. Lots of it comes from studies done about specific animal species, with no justification for assuming that any similar mechanic exists in humans. If any RP speaker mentions this they ignore that part and act like it's true because "studies".

palmtreekitty · 2022-10-05T16:13:36+00:00

Literally just accept that nothing any rep-pill circle discusses is based in any kind of reality or scientific fact

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-10-05T15:49:21+00:00

There's no truth to it. Maybe a woman with a higher body count may take less BS from a man and leave. A wiser woman perhaps which to the RP community would be a worthless woman. Because that is a woman who knows better has dealt with more men, more disappointment and heartbreak. So she may be more apprehensive to a long term commitment/marriage if her partner acts up. If she has more relationship/dating experience she can expect more from a partner. Which I guess could effect pair bonding but it's not because she's unable to attach it's because she's familiar with the games.

It stems from the idea that sex is done to women not done with them. That women aren't willing participants in their own sex lives. That a man can come in and take little bits of their value. Not that women were consenting in this and wanted a sexual experience too. And also that sex is immoral and dirty so there needs to be consequences. If she is proactive about birth control and using protection to avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancy, which according to these circles is consequence of such immoral acts. Then they have to go for her worth as a person. That she is less than, or an unworthy partner something is wrong with her fundamentally because she dare have a sex life and enjoy a healthy sex life.

AccomplishedList2122 · 2022-10-05T17:29:04+00:00

Could be if you sleep with enough dbags, you get over men real fast.

the_sea_witch · 2022-10-06T02:03:53+00:00

No its absolute nonsense that unfortunately is being taught in red states sex ed abstinence based programs. Which seems to be ground zero for a lot of this sexist trash.

ZoosmellStrider · 2022-10-05T14:08:21+00:00

I always though the stereotype was that women were slower to pair bond and stuff like that because they tend to be more cautious in regards to their choice of partners?

ComebackDaddy · 2022-10-05T20:50:46+00:00

Only if the women has some serious trauma issues from the myriad of relationships but it’s not failure to pair bond rather than a break in secure attachment or spiral downward of broken attstchment.

Also one of the scientific terms for pair bonding is actually called neuro synchronization.

Lastly men can have this break in pair bond too.

2020mademejoinreddit · 2022-10-06T12:52:45+00:00

I'm not someone who thinks high body count is a good thing. However I do think we don't have a right to judge anyone based on that.

Why did I write that before answering your question? To let you know that despite this not being something that I'm okay with, I do not think that what the GRIFTERS say is correct.

Aside from the fact that the only thing even remotely close to pair bonding study I came across on this is this, which is not really close to even being that, the other reasons many grifters like to promote that is due to the following;

1 - Either insecurity, i.e. these types always compare themselves with all the past partners she had and the more she had, the more insecure that individual will feel sexually. You can determine who's problem that is, I'm sure.

2 - Some seem to also have a fear of contracting an STD, which someone who has been too promiscuous, is likely to have gotten at some point. However, what they fail to tell you is that this is not just for women, since men contract STD's as well, especially if they've been promiscuous.

3 - Some have a thing about wanting a virgin for some reason. I try not to judge, but many of them have an unhealthy obsession with that. Although many don't, because they do want the woman to have some experience, but not "too much" and they will never specify what "too much" is, and their already non-existent argument falls apart.

4 - They think that if she's had many partners, she will cheat. Which is inaccurate. Women who were virgins and men who were virgins, both have cheated, more so in many cases, because they thought they were "missing out on different experiences", which I think is weird in and of itself, maybe because I think sex is overrated at this point for me, but maybe that's just me and that's a different topic. However, it does relate in a way that people who've had experiences, just aren't into sex, but more than that. While I don't think that sex should be removed from the equation, I don't think it's the most important part either, because it's easy to get honestly.

Also, Virginity doesn't give you magical non-cheating powers, that just requires you to be a good person, which I don't think cheaters are. Nothing to do with virginity. Evil mofos are virgins too.

Anyway, these are the reasons off the top of my head that I've noticed in the ones who say that. Believe it or not, even women have started to believe that about men. It's strange.

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Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-10-15T03:23:49+00:00

It's pseudoscientific garbage.

VirileAgitor · 2022-10-17T05:17:41+00:00

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7725863/

Relevant_Comedian520 · 2023-03-06T12:13:50+00:00

so let me get this straight here:

men who cant get laid on their own end up a red piller and hate women

but, of course, they deserve the hottest girls because they read & practiced

That hottest girl has never been approached by a different male and cant wait to drop her virgin drawers for only HIM!!

I don't know, 69 virgins just sounds more plausible

Tawehret · 2023-03-07T10:17:01+00:00

Yeah it is, even aba and preach said it’s facts, they pulled up a study on it. I’d believe those guys as they even had hasans back when he talked shit about em… Pairbonding, and bodycount is real fam, it’s funny that ppl will say it’s a bunch of bs.

Hell even feminist Louise perry says the sexual revolution was a big mistake… People who don’t want to believe in this are hiding from accountability

vanessabellwoolf · 2023-05-27T14:35:59+00:00

Is there a way to ask what could be a useful question without saying “high body count” when referring to women?

Ancient_Internal7797 · 2026-02-11T05:22:59+00:00

Of course not. Men are just more jealous about sex and body counts, so they act like sex is destroying women. But it’s only in his mind actually. For the woman herself it’s nothing “destroying” her or anything like that, you know.

Perhaps men also are afraid that they won’t be as good as some previous men has been, or that his penis is smaller or something like that. It’s harder to satisfy someone with a vagina than a penis, and both men and women know this for sure. So women never need to worry about not being good enough, but men are more nervous about it. So it’s better if she has less experience than him.

Because NO! It’s not true that women fall in love with someone they have been intimate with. It doesn’t work what way. That would make women fall in love way more often than men do - and that is not the case. (That would be really practical though… 😂)

Usually women only chooses to have sex with men that they are romantically interested in. while men more often tend to have sex casually. That could be an explanation that some men often think that sex would make a woman fall in love with a guy.

It actually takes longer time for women to fall in love than it does for men, so the myth about females as fools for love can not be proven.

Red pill is toxic. men that believes in this shit becomes toxic too. So they often think that men in generally have a specific behavior, like being dishonest to every women. And that would hurt women’s feelings - over and over again in her life. And that this is life if you’re born as a female. 🤷‍♀️

Of course most men are nice and kind. Yeah, both genders can act like assholes. It’s not something typical for men, or for women to feel this way. (Some women choose emotionally unavailable men all the time, but they have deeper problems, ok.)

No sex is not destroying a females ability to Pairbond. It’s only men who think about the sex afterwards anyways.

(Sorry for my bad English. We also have this problem in the country i live in.)

Excellent_Leather207 · 2022-10-05T15:44:23+00:00

I heard that there are statistics which say that women initiate 80% of all divorces. I think high promiscuity is connected with this but i could be wrong. It does make sense though. The more guys a women had sex with in her life, the more it feels to her that any guy is replaceable. As for men, I have no idea. I would think that the bigger the player are, the more likely it is that you procrastinate on building a family and to settle down.

GeorgeWashingtonKing · 2022-10-05T16:07:51+00:00

I think to a degree it’s true when it comes to both men and women. If a man/woman has over 100 bodies for example, you have to question why they haven’t been able to hold down a serious relationship.

People who also tend to engage in that much casual sex tend to be more novelty seekers which is antithetical to being in a steady long term relationship.

A lot of guys take it to the extreme though and think that if a girl isn’t a virgin that she’s been destroyed, when that’s simply not the case.

In my personal experience, women who have had less partners are easier to connect with and connect deeper.

The inverse applies to me. The more women I sleep with the harder it is for me to connect to an individual one.

No-Rough-7390 · 2022-10-05T16:50:52+00:00

The pair bonding may be over exaggerated, but the alpha widow stuff I have seen happen in real time. Old coworker of mine (she was 22) was with her bf, second guy she ever had been with. Broke up with him to test out the app scene but said she wanted to come back to him. Had some hookup guys for a few months, went back to the bf and was pretty devastated because the sex/experience wasn’t the same anymore. Just one example of a few I’ve seen happen.

Professional-Buy8858 · 2022-10-06T02:57:11+00:00

Yes. Tell me, do you know of any women personally that sleep around heavily and end up in happy healthy relationships? I know a lot of women that sleep around and typically speaking they are the coldest nastiest most unfeminine women around and all of them have terrible relationships with men.

thefantasticalhoopla · 2022-10-05T17:49:53+00:00

In my experience yes

SilverTango · 2022-10-06T01:26:53+00:00

I recently read two books, the Male Brain and the Female Brain, by Louann Brizendine. It didn't really support the idea that promiscuous women can't bond, but it did talk about the different hormones involved in developing a bond. Oxytocin and vasopressin were the main hormones. There is some truth to the idea that women bond faster than men after intercourse. I don't know about long term effects, though.

Title	Is redpill right about pair bonding?
Author	avecersis
Upvotes	7
Comments	163
Date	October 5, 2022 1:49 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/xwb5zd/is_redpill_right_about_pair_bonding/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-redpill-right-about-pair-bonding.1134996 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134996

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