50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"

ewokblubber · 2022-04-02T11:12:13+00:00

Here's the thing: Love or no love, if a man makes your life objectively worse, that's not a healthy relationship. That's not a good situation to be in.

'Love' is this very grand, very abstract notion. Love is not enough. I'd even argue that love in the 'sparks, butterflies, starry night' way is completely unnecessary. These women throw out 'I feel worse than before, it's bad, but I love him' like that last part somehow negates or justifies the first, but it doesn't.

If a man makes your life worse, it doesn't matter whether he's doing it unitentionally or under the involvement of love. Him just making it worse through the very fact of his existence- his loved, loving, well-meaning existence- is enough to say that this is not a situation you should be in.

vaguelinen · 2022-04-02T11:44:28+00:00

Something that took me far too long to learn was that men use money to demonstrate their feelings. When I bought my son a bike, my boyfriend asked to pay half so that he could be a part of the experience. He picked it up for me and got a fancy bow for it. When my car was in the garage for a week, he moved in so I could use his. I filled it with petrol as a thank you at the end of the week and he politely asked me never to do that again and that he was happy to support me wherever he could.

My former pickme self thought men like this were the exception but they ALL show their feelings with money. If he’s stingy and your life is hard, it means he doesn’t like you!

PrincessBeefloof · 2022-04-02T12:11:17+00:00

Think this woman needs a refresher in basic maths.

Does that sound like equal halves to you?!

Sage_Planter · 2022-04-02T13:55:54+00:00

"Doing the 50/50 thing."

Except he has no job, no responsibilities, and takes on no portion of the household management.

Got it.

Maingurl · 2022-04-02T13:00:23+00:00

They split the groceries too!?

Oh hell no. Even my alcoholic dad paid the entire groceries bill.

Eleonora0 · 2022-04-02T11:57:57+00:00

GET OUT FAST SIS

TheBarIsSoLowForMen · 2022-04-02T11:16:20+00:00

"I give him a third of my money and he uses it to pay his bills." 💀

The AUDACITY of this guy. Why get a job when you can just use other people's money right? What a loser. Move out. Block and delete.

It feels like he doesn't respect her or himself and is a loser.

JulyParade · 2022-04-02T15:26:09+00:00

Don't borrow money from men. But if you do structure it like a loan and get it in writing. I know it's not "romantic" but it kills my sex drive to read about women who are paying $300 a month for food and a laundry basket. I would have said "thanks for the gift"!

When did it become shameful to just get roommates? This seems far more pathetic than living with people who might actually like you. If it's just a business transaction roommates are better!

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-04-02T10:51:55+00:00

Is she actually insane? I can't even with this one.

nevermindtoday6 · 2022-04-02T11:46:11+00:00

This is awful. Yes, women do this. It destroys their health and happiness. This isn't close to 50/50.

jupitaur9 · 2022-04-02T13:02:29+00:00

They abolished slavery back in 1865??!

m00n5t0n3 · 2022-04-02T19:06:59+00:00

300 per month because he paid for full groceries a while ago and a laundry basket?? Wtf what am I missing here. How on earth did they come to this agreement. This poor woman. The fact that she's black and he's white makes it even grosser. Hope the fact that she posted this means she's getting out soon!!

StrawberryMoon3 · 2022-04-02T19:05:49+00:00

Wow! She's getting scammed and she doesn't even know it.

katiekat0214 · 2022-04-02T22:20:37+00:00

The more I think about it, a very quick way to vet before you move in together: ask to see three years of tax returns. Again, unless a man is insanely wealthy and can hide money offshore, three years shows his average. From there, you can make an EQUITABLE distribution of who pays what. I recommend spreadsheets.

If he balks, keep your place and don't move in. If he grumbles, even a little, keep your place and don't move in. Equity or nothing. I'd even advise re-thinking the relationship. If he cannot be equitable, then he's not generous, and he's not a HVM.

Platipus6 · 2022-04-02T22:29:14+00:00

If he's being supported by mom and dad.......

thewetdog_ · 2022-04-02T22:48:02+00:00

Missing submission statement form the op. Can’t just paste a screenshot. Needs strategic content to go with.

Title	50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"
Author	SayNad
Upvotes	384
Comments	53
Date	April 2, 2022 10:48 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tug3dn/5050_cautionary_tales_part_1_something_feels/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/5050-cautionary-tales-part-1-something-feels-weird.1108969 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108969

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