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[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie182 points183 points184 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In a society brainwashed by libfem rhetoric, who claim that women can have it all while completely ignoring men out of the equation, these scrotes sittin back and relaxing like they’re the prize. Women, yes you can have it all, but you don’t have to do it all. Only partner with men who will put in their effort and more.
[–]honeybeerollFDS Disciple124 points125 points126 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
We should call it the group project syndrome.
When have you ever offered to do all the work in a group project? Never. You likely got pinpointed as the most competent one in the group, so the others don't do squat, and then you ended up doing everything cuz you were the only one who cared about getting a bad grade.
If you have lived w/ roommates, when have you ever jumped to do all the cleaning, cooking, and laundry for you roommates? Didn't you have a chore schedule? Didn't you bring it up w/ your roommates that they left a mess, rather than clean it up yourself and say nothing?
So why jump to do these things for a boyfriend? Like not even a husband 🙄 Why jump to handle the house, handle his emotional or life problems, handle the kids, handle everything? And then be surprised when he never steps up to participate? Were you surprised when your crappy group partners stuck you, the only one who presented herself as fully competent, with all the work?
[–]AmazonArtemisFDS Newbie[S] 40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Damn deep cut right here! You’re right... ps I did end up having to be the one doing all the work in group projects and picking up after my roommates 🙃 hmmm
[–]honeybeerollFDS Disciple29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh no 😭. I probably did some of the picking up slack in group projects in middle school. Like me and a friend being paired w/ chronic underperformers. Worst ever was in college I was paired w/ 2 people on a semester long project that had multiple stages. The 3rd person, this dude never came to class, never contacted us. Thankfully this prof said to label which person did each part, so if you didn't do shit, you got no credit. This guy had the audacity to email us the night before the final part was due saying he's so sorry, he had no idea what group he was in, and he'll do all of it if needed. I didn't even respond cuz miss me with that bs lol. Didn't know what group he was in - he couldn't figure out the whole semester to shown up to class?
I've only had one roommate, along time friend, and she was pretty clean in common spaces. If she ever left a mess after cooking, my instinct was to clean it, and I wouldn't have minded, but I didn't do it on principle.
I've never lived with a man so who knows, I was such a pickme maybe I would've been doing his laundry 🤷🏼♀️
[–]NotSoSmartChickFDS Newbie138 points139 points140 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is one of biggest mistakes we as women often make. I know I’ve danced to this tune more times than I care to admit.
[–]AmazonArtemisFDS Newbie[S] 119 points120 points121 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My old boss once told me, “just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should have to do it.” She was talking about my overachieving ways at work leading to burn out, but it’s so applicable in relationships, too.
[–]m_inthemiddleFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed. I’ve struggled with the fact that I need to prove to myself that I can handle everything myself. But that’s something I’ve already proved to myself. I don’t need to prove it to anybody by trying to do everything on a relationship.
[–]guacamole1987FDS Newbie61 points62 points63 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It’s funny, I used to say “I don’t need you, I just want you” to men I dated. All the LVMs took offense to that and didn’t really work out.
The guy I ended up marrying took that as a huge compliment - definitely a HVM - and steps it up in the relationship consistently.
These fellas know. It’s up to them how they act on it.
[–]callofktululuFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Love this. The LVM want you to NEED them and only them, otherwise how are they ever going to use you up for all the emotional, mental and physical labor.
An HVM will know the difference and will want you as well. Needing someone is such an unhealthy concept that is romanticized. Yes, it is human to need some things but it doesn't have to define your whole relationship dynamic.
[–]guacamole1987FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly! :)
[–]Danigirl_03FDS Newbie54 points55 points56 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Here’s the other side of it, I can handle all of it and all my shit by myself!
So what do I need a man for?
If they’re not making my life better with their help and presence why would I keep them in my life?
There’s absolutely zero reason to!
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
That’s how my marriage failed!
[–]Cat_With_The_FurFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Me too. I did everything and then wondered why he wasn’t able to be an equal partner.
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We have the best intentions, but unfortunately we create our own monsters sometimes :(
[–]gosamadhiFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am guilty of that aswell. I regret being that stupid and I'm terrified I will make the same mistake in new relationships.
I think the fact that I am the oldest child contributed to that as it's natural to me to take responsibility for everything and everyone.
[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well, I think there is responsibility on the man to not take somebody for granted just because they can, too. Just because your partner will do everything for you doesn't mean you should just sit back and watch them do everything without doing your fair share. A good person helps out, they don't let the other person work themselves half to death to maintain something that both should have interest in.
[–]TexiMcCraeFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Isn’t this just the worst? You think you’re being strong and capable and that this is attractive for your partner but they just view it as an opportunity to just slack off and do nothing to contribute
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link
One key rule of femininity is to ALWAYS make a man believe you're a princess. If you act is if you are a sTrOnG inDEPeNDenT woman then you'll attract leeches and mommy type men that are looking to be taken care of. Of course you can be these things, just don't let him feel this.
I love to play into my femininity and behave as if I'm a princess that needs most of everything taken care of for me lol it repels the dusty's and attracts men that have a provider mentality who want to take care of his partner to ensure I continue to thrive in my femininity just how he had found me in.
Taking all the responsibilities on in your relationship removes you from your feminine balance and you will begin to feel lost and ultimately depressed. It's a lot to unpack but perhaps I'll make a post later on.
[–]ZeniiteFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
I’d love to see a post about this :)
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link
Done. Whipped something up for my ladies here! Click to read more about the sTrOnG inDEPeNDenT pick-me and why she never wins.
Edit: link is broken.
[–]shapelessdreamsFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Text isn't showing up but yes sis I agree with you. I don't lift a mf finger for these dudes.
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Not able to see the click through link?
[–]msChonk123FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Looks like your post was removed. I was interested in reading it!
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Weird! Auto-mod keeps removing it saying something about abuse kink?? Im like huh? I just messaged the mods to get it sorted out cause in no way does my post mention anything to do with sex let alone abuse kinks lol
[–]msChonk123FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My first thought was that the word princess maybe triggered auto mod? Hope it gets sorted lol
[–]takethemonkeynLeaveFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I need to read this!
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
link now works :D
Link now works
[–]gosamadhiFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I would love to read it, it is very needed. Please share if it gets approved
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Here!! was approved :)
[–]gosamadhiFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you! <3
Link was fixed :D click to read.
[–]CatSweetsFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
How do you do it? I'm the independent type and it shows in every aspect of my life.
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Theres not a problem with being independent, its just a matter of being private about your "independency" when it comes to men.
Don't flaunt your money, don't buy him gifts (don't spend on him period actually), dont plan dates, don't fix things in his house etc, dont let him use your things (car etc).
[–]CatSweetsFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I see. I don't usually do or buy things for men - although I am guilty of planning dates, because I like to control things (when I go back to dating again I'll do better). The problem is that I do many things by myself, like fixing stuff at home or travelling alone, and people in my circles know this. I'll keep in mind to be more private in the future.
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is all fine and great! Just don’t do it in front of a love interest (i.e, fixing stuff at home etc).
The travelling alone is not really the same as the rest. This is actually a HVW trait as it shows you’re more cultured since you’ve (presumably) been out of the country — thus raising your social capital.
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm very similar to you, so I've started to apply the following mindset:
"I work so hard and push myself in all areas of my life that dating is a chance for me to sit back and relax, and enjoy someone treating me for a change."
[–]superbechidnaFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am very capable and independent but I am also lazy af. I can do this 😄
[–]LurkForYourLivesFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dunno. Casually whipping out my chainsaw and dropping a tree tends to weed out the bottom dwellers who have nothing to contribute to my life.
A man intimidated by my self sufficiency is not worthy of me.
[–]sorrywhatttAt-Risk Pick Me Youth7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s me. I needed to hear this 😂
[–]SarcasmSlideFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Y’all put some respect on my favorite Challenge competitor of all-time. The funeral for her wig will never not be funny. She’s a gem and as classy as they come. She has her own history with LVM on the show (looking at you, Big Easy).
[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I remember that season!
[–]Noemie_MathildeFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Replace 'capable' with 'willing' and I agree.
[–]typeadhdFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yessss
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[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie182 points183 points184 points
(1 child) | Copy Link
[–]honeybeerollFDS Disciple124 points125 points126 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]AmazonArtemisFDS Newbie[S] 40 points41 points42 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]honeybeerollFDS Disciple29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NotSoSmartChickFDS Newbie138 points139 points140 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]AmazonArtemisFDS Newbie[S] 119 points120 points121 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]m_inthemiddleFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]guacamole1987FDS Newbie61 points62 points63 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]callofktululuFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]guacamole1987FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Danigirl_03FDS Newbie54 points55 points56 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️32 points33 points34 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cat_With_The_FurFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gosamadhiFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TexiMcCraeFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple63 points64 points65 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]ZeniiteFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]shapelessdreamsFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]msChonk123FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]msChonk123FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]takethemonkeynLeaveFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gosamadhiFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]gosamadhiFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CatSweetsFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]CatSweetsFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]mshourglasssFDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]superbechidnaFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LurkForYourLivesFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sorrywhatttAt-Risk Pick Me Youth7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SarcasmSlideFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Noemie_MathildeFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]typeadhdFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link