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[–]ManchurianCantaloupeRuthless Strategist223 points224 points225 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The "bare minimum" is already more than what roughly 70% of men have to offer.
That doesn't mean you should accept it, of course. 😂
[–]Barky11FDS Newbie92 points93 points94 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Come on he did have to down load an app and then spend time swiping “yes” to everyone and sending out the standard “yo” message to like 100 girls. That had to take 15 mins easy, he’s probably doing it while pooping too. The modern man a multitasker indeed!
[–]TheWarmestHugzFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh my god the amount of “hey” messages on dating sites. Like, can anyone hold a decent conversation anymore, what am I supposed to reply to “hey” give me something to work with lol.
This is why I gave up on OLD, generic men everywhere.
[–]DallasM19FDS Newbie175 points176 points177 points 5 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
I recently ended a very new relationship due to effort. He felt effort was texting me and answering my calls. I said not really, that's the bare minimum. Showing up to my apartment without bringing anything, me always bringing my own wine to his place. No dates had ever been planned. He took me to this park he likes and felt that was a very grand gesture as we sat on his special bench. I knew it was over when he referred to me as lucky after I said I like to take myself to a certain place for lunch. No, I was hard working and made enough that the odd $100 lunch wasn't a huge huge deal to me.
[–]JoanHollowayWannabeFDS Newbie150 points151 points152 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
SPECIAL BENCH?! ?!?! ?!?!??!?!?!? *screams internally* giiiiirl you done dodged a bullet the size of a campbell's soup can
[–]DallasM19FDS Newbie90 points91 points92 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Yes. "I showed you my special bench! That's effort" were his words. This is a 33 year old "man", who has the social acumen of a kindergarten student. I made a post about it... I'm horrified with myself.
[–]JoanHollowayWannabeFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Let me stop you right there you should be DAMN PROUD of yourself for stopping this bs in its tracks. Hell, I'd throw you a one woman ticker tape parade. You absolutely did the right thing and he's the one who should be ashamed.
[–]DallasM19FDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We spoke as friends for a bit and decided to give it a shot. I was hoping he's suggest a date or something. To him, that was a date. I feel bad for him in a way. He wants a HVW while being a NVM. So, I said nvm to him, haha.
[–]LookatthatsassPickmeisha™️9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Out of curiosity, why was the bench special?
[–]DallasM19FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
He'd been going there for a bit he said and it was his thinking spot apparently.
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
WTF. is he kidding?? I hoped it was sth like "my grandparents met in this park and shared this exact bench for their whole lives" or sth like that, at least have a GOOD reason to mention that bench?? (I'm not throwing shade if you like a spot at a park, but fuck no, I'd be embarrassed if I unironically took my date/family/friends with the explicit purpose of just showing that bench off, holy crap).
[–]DallasM19FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It was a bit peculiar. This combined with everything else I sort of think that perhaps something was wrong developmentally. There's simple, but then there's this. It's unfortunate.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]DallasM19FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I trust me, I'm embarrassed telling it.
[–]greatcathyFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🤣🤣🤣
[–]likejackandsallyPickmeisha™️2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Is he Henry? Are you Christina? Is this what happens on the next episode of Married at First Sight?
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Special bench... these fuckers live spiritually impoverished lives. They literally do not know how to LIVE. Reminds me of this weirdo who told me how he loves to buy mushroom soup at the dollar store and “Doctor it up!”. Wtf...
[–]Solid-LiquidFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My ex (after not seeing me for 3 months) told me that “well we texted every day” like that should have placated me while he spent more time with his friends/coworkers/literally anyone else than me
[–]DallasM19FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
SMH.
I'm glad for you that this is over. Good god....
[–]PooPooMeeksFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“Special Bench...”. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 OMG
[–]PahapanFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex would bring over a case of shoplifted water and describe that as him taking care of me, lmao.
[–]indaazz1FDS Newbie71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If only they would at least give that
[–]voodo2020FDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao if only they would at least have anything to give
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dating in 2020?! Surely, you meant dating for at least the last century. 🙄
[–]PooPooMeeksFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Surely.
[–]bananamilk58FDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The bar is on the ground 😭
[–]tiniekittie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s in hell!!!
[–]Barky11FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah spartan men ended up in hell. I have seen the movie 300, the bar has to be way way lower!
[–]Sea_SoilFDS Newbie60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link
I go for walks everyday and am consistently shocked by how often I see young hetero couples out on dates just sitting on a bench in the park with NOTHING to do, and I can tell by their body language that it's an early date and not like they are in a LTR and just out for some fresh air.
Like at LEAST have a nice picnic, with a blanket and some food and drinks. That alone takes barely any effort. You could even get some of those LED candles; bring a Bluetooth speaker. Use your brain!!!!
Why do guys think, "lets go for a walk through the park" is an acceptable first date??? And then they have the audacity to invite you over to their place afterwards like they really earned that shit!!!
edit: LVM men aren't just like this in dating, they are lazy and low effort in so many areas.
Women are really out here mailing thank you cards, keeping in touch with our distant family members, bringing treats to their classmates/coworkers, putting in the effort spending hours to get ready (shaving/waxing, doing our hair, skincare routine, putting on make-up, picking out an outfit, perfume etc.)
Ya'll can't spend 10 minutes thinking of a way to make someone feel special???
[–]endorphins_FDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
It’s because they’re cheap
[–]Sea_SoilFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
Tbh it's not just the cheap/broke guys. My mom dated a literal heart surgeon, rich ass guy with a mansion and he wouldn't take her out to eat 🙄
[–]endorphins_FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Rich people who want to cheapen out on everything are the wooooooorst
[–]LurkForYourLivesFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You can be wealthy and still be cheap. That’s how they get there in the first place.
[–]Sea_SoilFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely. But there's a difference between being frugal and being cheap.
Being frugal and investing wisely is great. It's good not to waste money needlessly.
Cheap is being miserly, stingy to the point where it's negatively impacting your life, usually by stressing you out. For example, buying the cheap shit that keeps breaking instead of investing in a good quality "buy it for life" item.
If paying 10$ for someone's food is like sacrificing an arm and a leg for them, then maybe they should get into a better place financially before dating.
edit: sorry if it was unclear in my comment, clearly this guy was NOT cheap seeing as he bought a stately home in the most expensive neighborhood of my city, drove a luxury car, etc. There are plenty of wealthy people who live more modestly.
[–]LurkForYourLivesFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I hear you but I had a friend who had a newspaper delivery. He said it was the nice houses in the nice suburbs that never paid their delivery bills. There’s definitely a correlation between the privileged and they way they got there.
[–]Sea_SoilFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
True! Most wealthy people didn't get wealthy by not tipping or paying their delivery bills though (unless we have different definitions of wealth, I'm talking 6 figures and up). You must have a high level income (and usually high level education or come from a wealthy background) in the first place.
There are also an insane amount of wealthy people who are the type to buy a Lamborghini in every color just for fun.
[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I always laugh at guys who excuse themselves "y'all women just want to have dinner at expensive places" . It's not even about taking the woman to a 5 star michelan restaurant every night (or ever). Even a nice picnic is not expensive at all or some sort of creative or courting gesture that doesn't envolve spending money already shows a level of effort and care most men nowadays don't have. Even something simple as going hiking to a beautiful place and bringing food to share with their date can be special and that doesn't involve expensive luxury fine dating.
But first dates being low effort "just hanging out" dates, "come over to my house" dates, etc... boy bye.
[–]lolumadbr0FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg yes this right here.
[–]throwthisawayred3FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
dudes really out here thinking they could just show up to dates
problem is, if they're doing that on the reg, i imagine they're able to cuz women (pickmes) are receptive to that and don't have standards. it's working for SOMEONE out there. just the low hanging fruits.
[–]OwlLightzFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No, they can’t, they can’t spend that ten minutes. Worthless.
[–]petit_rougeFDS Newbie53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The funniest part of this is pretending most men even give the bare minimum 😂
[–]TheWarmestHugzFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Got people out here trying to justify it as “men don’t think about basic things like that.” 🙄
[–]petit_rougeFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah “men are just different.” Like nope. They’ve just been allowed to do the barest of the barest minimum forever and women are taught to accept that.
[–]OwlLightzFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true, they give whatever least they think they can do.
[–]FodderFigureIllushunFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Some will even throw a tantrum BECAUSE you aren't acting like the bare minimum isn't the best thing you've ever experienced. Isn't that hilarious
[–]yehet420FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup! “FeMaLeS tHeSe DaYs AmIriTe KiNg?” (Side note your handle is hilarious 🤣 love 90DF)
[–]dotspiceFDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
all the comments from men are about how women willingly except this bare minimum (pickmes). Proof that men talk out of both sides of their mouths. They'll shame you for having high standards and then throw it back into your face when it doesn't work out.
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't understand people who give minimal effort. I don't even bother with someone that I have no intentions towards. There's no point in instigating something if you're not going to put in full effort.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
LOL this is what I really don't get about guys. Do they not understand the competition? Most dating apps have more men on there than women and guys are thirstier.
How do they not rise to the occasion and really try to stand out from the crowd?
[–]TigreImpossibileFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most of them don't want a girlfriend, they just want to get their dick wet 🙄
So raise your standards and don't allow them.
[–]sisibunnyxoFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
The bare minimum can take on a different meaning for different people. My bare minimum is a guy with my best interest at heart and respect for my boundaries, well-being and safety, someone thoughtful and empathetic who is not too suggestive off the bat, pushy or who is trying to sleep with me before a connection is established - and lunch/dinner dates with tabs covered and just putting effort into plans in the early stages of the relationship and also staying consistent later down the line. - I think it's sad that you get guys out there actually doing less than that.
[–]starry_eyes222FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂😂😂
[–]odalisque_FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Further proof that men are that much closer to becoming the imbeciles in the film “Idiocracy”
[–]soundslikeautumnFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So, so true!
[–]plasticwitch0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Every time. Smh
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