[deleted by user]

Commercial_Place9807 · 2021-12-29T16:51:50+00:00

You can fall in love with a wealthy man just as easily as you can a poor one.

ItsFreezen · 2021-12-29T17:23:12+00:00

"The bizarre thing is, we don't ever question a man's motives when he goes after the prettiest girl in the room. He's actually celebrated for it. It's what men do."

100% Truth.

donttextme_k · 2021-12-29T16:31:38+00:00

Only place where I’ve seen women being called gold diggers because they married someone successful and rich is the Internet. In real life, I’ve seen women being praise such as “wow she is living the life,” or “she’s smart to pull something like that.”

Carneliancat · 2021-12-29T16:57:03+00:00

Romantic love is a scam sold to us by the patriarchy. Love is a nice concept, but when it comes to loving men, it just is not enough to make a successful relationship. It doesn't offer a good enough return on a woman's investment. I'd much rather be with a successful man who adores me and is generous, as long as he also has integrity, loyalty, emotional intelligence, and a great sense of humour. A man with nothing to offer but his "love" is not a draw. Love is cheap and quite fickle when coming from a man. We deserve to benefit as much from the relationship with them as they do from us. Stay mad, scrotes!

ChgItToRayGunYouFuck · 2021-12-29T17:01:36+00:00

100% agree about men being celebrated for picking the pretty girl and/or the girl who's willing to put out without much effort on his part.

Let's call these men what they are: Sexdiggers

sexualfoodpantry · 2021-12-29T17:12:58+00:00

"It's just as easy to marry a rich man as a poor man." So, all things being equal, why would you do the latter and risk unhappiness and divorce down the line? (Finances are the number one reason for divorce.)

ivesynthed · 2021-12-29T18:12:01+00:00

Men are praised for following economic opportunities. And we all know they have done much worse for money.

Women have way fewer opportunities than men. Think about it, we can’t even pick up side gigs like uber/food delivery without being scared of getting murdered. That’s why we have to resort to exploiting the only thing society values us for in order to survive in this world.

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-12-29T17:25:11+00:00

In my mind, there is a massive difference between wanting a guy who does well financially while you also stand on your own two feet and being a gold digger. I personally want a man who does well financially but he will never own me. If the relationship ends I will still stand on my own two feet. When a woman chooses a man only for his wallet and doesn’t develop herself financially and her career independently, they have that man as their sole source of income, that’s when they play in the narrative you describe, objectify themselves and sell their prettiness. How many women in their 40s/50s end up in dire strait because they have never worked and the rich husband has left them for the younger model…. However sad this is, no one should gift their independence away and place their fate in someone’s else hands.

Pryras · 2021-12-29T19:12:59+00:00

“Gold diggers” don’t do much chasing so if you’re a man who’s terrified of running into one (generous of you to think someone of that stature would even choose you to rinse) then you can rest easy knowing that you’re not their target demographic. They are more often than not, the ones being approached by wealthy men.

Seriously. Look at Miranda Kerr for example. At one point she had 7 billionaires interested in her and she chose one who she connected with over a formal dinner. Not even being a billionaire guarantees you the women you want. So what does that say?

If you’re scared of gold diggers you are not the target demographic and never will be. These same men will fantasize about getting rich and mingling with supermodels when that’s far from reality.

thanarealnobody · 2021-12-29T20:16:51+00:00

These dudes are crying when it was men that created the whole idea of women relying on men for financial gain since they were forbidden from education, inheritance and business.

clytemnestra_23 · 2021-12-29T16:33:45+00:00

While I agree that men need to step up financially, I often wonder how happy these women really are. Many seem pampered on the surface but are exposed to indignities like having to put up with mistresses, being used for “kinky” sex, and the like. I think of Anna Nicole Smith and the legal wrangling she had to go through with her oil millionaire’s family once he died. I think she saw a fraction of his wealth after his death. And what happens if the rich guy finds a younger, more nubile woman? Often the original wife is out on her own.

Men should contribute much more financially than is now expected of them, I agree. But women need to have their own money and their own exit plans in case shit goes bad.

Sewud · 2021-12-29T17:39:25+00:00

I'm the same! I had this idea (probably gotten from TV?) that it's really bad to want to marry a rich man, that's it's better if you're kind to the poor people and don't judge a man for being poor and you try to date the poor men. So I was like I'll just be the best person I can be because that's the right thing to do. And my idea of being a good person when it comes to dating men was that I couldn't care about their looks and I had to date poor men. I guess my idea was also to let other women have the rich men, like that's even more selfless sacrifice and it's being a good person again. I knew there was no prize for being selfless like this, I was just doing it because it seemed like the right thing to do. That doesn't mean I wanted to be poor, but my plan was to get a good job myself, and basically count on living off my salary only and plan for the guy to contribute $0.

And so I dated the stoners, shorter than me or my height, the shy guys who didn't look good, didn't have talent and didn't have ambition, didn't attract other women. I just went with the whole idea of being non-judgmental and accepting in others the bad traits I don't have myself. They were happy to just take from me, never questioning if they deserved it or if they should give back. They were totally comfortable just taking my money, kindness, or anything they could get out of me. They never planned dates, never wanted to do anything, or well the only thing they could do is pester me with text messages asking for things, guilt trip me if their wants weren't met immediately, make me drop other things for them, pressure for sex, make me cry with uncomfortable sex requests and still continue to pressure for sex anyway. None of them could ever take the lead in anything constructive. They never stepped up to be useful other halves either. They didn't give me rides or help me revise. All they did was try to get in the way of my opportunities, because they were just happy to get stuff from me and they didn't care about my opportunities. They all describe the relationship as good too, and that I was so nice.

I find it really hard to change these beliefs that it is "wrong" to want to date a rich man. I don't think I ever can change this feeling of right and wrong inside of me. But today I can at least SEE that dating a rich man is a smart thing. Not only you get a much better life, but it also says a lot about the qualities of the man. It says he's high effort, hardworking, smart, capable, talented, good with money, trustworthy. It says a lot about his values, that he cares about being a good man, that he spends responsibly and values a life well-lived, that he values pulling his weight and bringing something to the table, that he's generous and that he cares to be a good partner. I should care about these things in a man. And as for falling in love with the man, there's no reason why it would be harder to fall in love with the rich man than with the poor man. If I can fall in love with the poor men with their flaws, it would just be so easy to fall in love with the rich man with less flaws.

And I'm tired of being shamed by men saying "I'm poor because I had struggles, but I want a woman as good as the men who are more successful than me, you have to date me or I'll feel bad about myself, I don't want to be made to feel like I'm not good enough to get those kinds of women". Like, why? If he actually cared and was actually a good man, he wouldn't be comfortable being poor and asking women to date him.

malibooyeah · 2021-12-29T18:05:09+00:00

Anyone, anybody who uses the term gold digger towards anyone just projects jealousy imo.

catastrophejr · 2021-12-29T23:13:38+00:00

Goldiggers understand that if you're going to risk dying in childbirth for a man, it should at least be a man with money

peachesinthewinter · 2021-12-29T21:30:06+00:00

It's funny because in another perspective, if women are "sex workers" I have heard many times men say things like, "don't judge a woman for how she gets her money" and the pickme's say "At least I am getting paid to suck dick". BUT if you take the sexual aspects out, and you are a woman say with a boyfriend or husband with a ton of money, THEN it's a problem.

I have noticed that as long as a woman bas ically comes off as "any man can have me" it doesn't matter how much money is being thrown at her. But if that money is in copious amounts and coming from only one man she is loyal to, suddenly she is a gold digger, doesn't actually love him, must be using him, etc etc. Men will always defend sex work but they will never defend a woman getting provided for in a monogamous situation.

It's like men and pickme's are upset when a woman is getting paid without sacrificing herself, her safety, and her body. She is getting lavashed just for existing. And they do no want anyone woman to feel she is that worthy. It's sad, lonely, and digusting tbh.

I have thought a lot about this because right now I have been on a 4 month break from work (mental health reasons due to other medical problems) and my boyfriend (civil engineer, good money) has paid for everything, bills, rent, food, even getting extra money for no reason. I don't tell anyone because of fear that people will take it like this without knowing my ciscumstance. I chuckled to myself remembering a pickme who bullied me and became a stripper tell me "I wasn't pretty enough to be one anyway and would never make money like her" (I had no interest, she was just ashamed I found out that's where she ended up, by choice btw) Because here I am, getting probably more money, without needing to suck a single d*ck.

katiekat0214 · 2021-12-29T17:43:02+00:00

Something I said triggered a scrote, got a personal message, after I thought I had turned off DMs. Couldn't send a Reddit care, alas. Clearly I'm on the right track, so I'll just keep on thinking, speaking, posting precisely what I think. How dare I expect men to take care of me? I'm not doing my God-given unpaid domestic slavery duty!

uwillneverfindmeirl · 2021-12-30T08:37:00+00:00

I actually know a ‘gold digger’ type woman IRL, she pretty much bagged herself a man who makes seven figures, whilst she comes from a very poor family and has no accolades to speak of.

She spends her days being a full time mother to a toddler, but also eats at the most expensive restaurants, blows a lot of money on shopping sprees, and basically won’t ever have to worry about money ever again.

But she was extremely calculated and deliberate. Befriended people with rich friends, so they would introduce her to rich single men. Ditched her previous friends when they became jealous. Spent thousands on cosmetic procedures, even when she was head turningly pretty to begin with. Dumped any rich boyfriend if they no longer provided for her, no regrets. Revamped her social media so you ONLY see the rich current life of hers.

Personally, I’d never put all my eggs in one basket to get married to a rich man like she did. I also think she has narcissistic tendencies. However, I admire her ruthless ambition, because it got her what she wanted. Her old friends who are jealous and insult her, she ignores them completely lol

NotMyRealName814 · 2021-12-30T00:53:34+00:00

I don't have a strong opinion on this one way or another but one thing that I know with absolute certainty - Hugh Hefner and his ilk are/were the absolute gutter trash of society.

edwardianemerald · 2021-12-29T20:30:30+00:00

Why don't women make their own gold though? Why rely on the man for this at all?

fireforestfairy · 2021-12-30T11:55:52+00:00

I've seen scrores shaming poor women for wanting a rich (and sometimes a guy who is only middle class) SO. These men label these women as superficial yet they want an extremely hot SO so it's not like they are any less superficial. A lot of these men who hate "gold diggers" are broke themselves so I guess they resent the idea of women picking men based on wealth (as it doesn't work in their favour).

Olympia43 · 2021-12-30T09:47:59+00:00

Ermm, I kind of disagree with the wording of your post. I don't disagree with the ideas you develop but I don't want to claim myself as a "gold digger" just because I want to date someone who is financialy stable. Just like I don't want to claim myself as a "bitch" for having standards, or a "slut" because I have sex... I don't know if I am clear, I just don't like the idea of reusing misogynist term to "empower" myself.

Also, just because (rich) men are LV does not mean women should go at their level of low valueness. Seeking rich people just to live the rich life is not really my definition of a "smart move" or a HV trait in my humble opinion. I prefer encouraging girls to study, work, save their money instead of basically agreeing with sex-work propaganda.

eloquentenigma · 2021-12-31T19:55:45+00:00

Smart women? How is it smart sleeping with a man 20 years your senior and having little to no career aspirations for yourself?

I’m assuming you’re a man larping as a woman to make our sub look bad.

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Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	337
Comments	34
Date	December 29, 2021 4:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/femaledatingstrategy/comments/rrbvkk/deleted-by-user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/deleted-by-user.1602520 https://theredarchive.com/post/1602520

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