I live in a MAJOR city and have used all sorts of OLD in the past. The last time I was swiping was Sept 2020. I am back on OLD but have decided to hyper focus on the app targeting Muslims... and here is what I've learned:

  1. The men here aren't any better. From mediocre photos, no effort on their profile, or even having incredibly offensive things up. It didn't feel different from the usual OLD.

  2. The app mods are ruthless. You can report people for plugging their social media. You can report creeps. You can report people who are misusing the app. I've taken serious advantage of this and their response time is impressive.

  3. I've told men we can meet for 30 minute coffee chat OR they can propose a date and I will give them more than 30 mins of my time. Some have unmatched (the trash takes itself out). Some took me up on the coffee chat. And some put effort into a date (and yes, there were men who thought A WALKING DATE is a date. I unmatched those guys).

  4. I have yet to give any of these guys my actual number.

  5. The app has CALL features. One scrote told me (while we used this feature for a quick call) that he loves this feature to vet women who have accents. BLOCKED. But good vetting advice as I also want a partner who is established in their life and not new to the country.

And now some TEA!:

  1. One guy told me i looked like I was in my early 20s (while he was in his mid 30s). BLOCKED.

  2. One guy's profile said he ate Halal but he ordered steak at the restaurant... BLOCKED.

  3. One of the first men I chatted with was VERY eager to move off the app despite me repeatedly telling him I'd rather not exchange any numbers or social media until we've met. He kept pressing me because... (take a seat for this one)... he needed to show me his D1CK. I reported him. BLOCKED.

  4. Met a man who was MY HEIGHT?? sneaked a look at his profile and he lied about his height. Told him I did not see anything happening between us as he chose to lead with a lie. BLOCKED.

Here is my strategy:

  1. I tell them we aren't exchanging numbers or social media until we've met in person.

  2. They have to meet me near me. I tell them I don't have a car. Some men have paid for my uber home after dates because I refused to get in their cars

  3. I tell them I'm a bad texter and am happy to text to coordinate a date.

  4. I don't talk about my job or my friends or my school. I don't need them to look me up until I trust them. I talk about my hobbies, special interests, a new book, a new show, etc.

  5. If they don't have a photo where I can see their EYES, TEETH, HAIRLINE, it's a no from me.

  6. I tell men that I live with my parents to gauge their reactions (most have been positive due to my culture)... when in reality, my parents live with me in my house.

I have not kissed a man in months. I have not held hands with someone and shared loving glances. I have not felt my guards come down in the presence of a man (that I could be dating). I get lonely sometimes. I want to share my successes and my aspirations with someone who will celebrate me and uplift me. I WOULD LOVE TO MEET A MAN WHO SHARES MY FAITH BUT I'M NOT WASTING MY TIME ON A MAN WHO ONLY SHARES MY FAITH.

I know that being alone by myself is better than feeling alone with a man. Being in this community has helped me establish strong boundaries. I also feel confident sharing FDS values with my girlfriends and on my social media.

I am going to continue vetting men on OLD and applying FDS and my own strategies. It's tough but it could work out.

Just to be clear, I'm not promoting OLD. I'm on this specific one because I want to only select from men who share my faith.

Happy vetting, queens!