Story time.

It's freaking hilarious that women are called "the emotional gender" because men are the worst drama queens.

I had an ex who I dated for like 4 months, and his shit started showing up after 2. He was so crazy manipulative, that when I first said I'm going to break up with him, he performed the whole one-man-play: called me to come to his apartment "to say goodbye" which sounded vaguely threatening, put on a suit with perfume and all, had this contrasty dramatic lighting in his room (roommate was gone — I bet this douche asked him to leave for stronger isolation effect), wrote a nice ass looking suicide letter with a fancy cursive (which I read later, it mentioned how deeply he loved me, and it's not my fault lol), got a chair and a rope that he hang in the middle of the room, and sat on his bed waiting for me to arrive.

It was the first time he did that shit, so I started talking him out of it, we yelled, cried, then I was like "fuck it I'm leaving" but I didn't actually left the house, just the room, not knowing what the fuck I should do, call the police? So embarrassing. I hear a loud BAM, run back and see this fucked tied up the rope long enough so he could comfortably rest his feet on the floor, but when I walked in, relaxed his knees and closed his eyes like he was dying. What a fucking clown. I looked at it, and just left the houser and would you know it — miracle happened — 30 seconds later he runs after me, angry that I left him to suffocate. He would perform a fake suicide one more time, and stopped after I called the police to perform a wellness check.

I wish I was making shit up. It's so funny now, but back then I was so emotionally drained, angry, pissed, scared that he would actually kill himself, and everyone would think it's my fault. Exactly the things he wanted me to feel.

I also had another dude who would cut himself in front of me, so that I would feel sorry for him, and I had to fight with him and take the knife away.