How do I avoid men coming up to me?

thewetdog_ · 2022-03-08T23:51:27+00:00

SCOWL at them

millennialpink2000 · 2022-03-09T00:09:57+00:00

Look mean. Guys don't want to approach the gal who might make a scene

NotYourCirce · 2022-03-09T01:19:43+00:00

I’ve found that pretending that I’m mute and deaf is very effective. Just think of them as ghosts who can’t communicate from the other side

millennialpink2000 · 2022-03-08T23:28:20+00:00

Men used to come up to me so often that I started pretending to be hearing impaired & acting like I couldn’t hear them. I realize that is not politically correct but it was the least energy-intensive way to get them to leave me alone.

Quirky_Confusion_235 · 2022-03-08T23:29:57+00:00

I would not tell them you are 17 as this will make you even more of a target for certain especially creepy pervs.

I often say I am waiting for someone (dad, friends, boyfriend etc.) or I act as though I do not hear them and walk away. If I feel like I must acknowledge someone I say “no thanks I’m not interested.”

Note: where I am from people (especially women) are expected to be extremely polite, and even tho I hate extending pleasantries of any kind to a stranger who makes me uncomfortable, I don’t want to incur a crazy person’s anger or become a revenge target.

Edit to add: since getting a bit older and learning to project confidence, I get far fewer leers and unwanted attention. My style has also evolved to be more what I want to wear and less what men find appealing and I believe this has helped me as well.

Keepers12345 · 2022-03-09T02:56:25+00:00

Gaze: No eye contact. Look away from their existence, even when closer, don't look at them, look beyond them as if you're at the optometrist and the doctor asks you to look at her left ear and then right ear. You never look at someone. Even if they're talking to you.

Body language: If they ask you anything, ignore, shrug your shoulders or look away. Point to someone else who can answer the question. Even when you're alone, think of a convenience store or whatever place that that you can point to.

Ignore by all means as much as you can. Men want attention, any type of attention. If you give them one second, they will want more. Make yourself so guarded that they can't access you.

Objects of distraction: Put your phone to your ear and listen to a YouTube whatever and stay occupied.

I'm sorry. It sucks to have creepy guys all over you, looking for their opportunity to come at you.

Carry one of those keychains that sound an alarm when you pull out the key ring. I've yet to use one for that purpose, but that's one last resort.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-03-09T03:54:26+00:00

Dark glasses, big ones, help in my experience. Add big headphones with nothing playing for good measure.

pipeuptopipedown · 2022-03-09T02:21:05+00:00

Use a tactic I have had in my arsenal since high school: Hiss at them. I've used this in Brooklyn, Baltimore, downtown Philly, NYC, Seoul, and multiple cities around the world. Works every time.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-03-09T02:58:00+00:00

I've always looked much younger than my age and I'm a small woman with a sweet, some say angelic (LOL) face. I've had men approaching since I was ten.

I soon developed a stone cold bitch stare and I always walk with my head held high and very purposefully through my spaces. If they still approach me I stare at them blankly and ask "who are you?" Then they introduce themselves and I'm all "nah, I don't know you mate." And continue the dumb face if they persist or even scream something really embarrassing if they are being aggressive like "I can't believe you want to fuck kids, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

They don't deserve a second of our time, be savage.

purasangria · 2022-03-09T03:48:14+00:00

Put phone to ear, pretend you have a phone call while walking away...

ChgItToRayGunYouFuck · 2022-03-09T00:10:12+00:00

You can't really avoid this. Those men are pigs.

fuckbeingautobanned · 2022-03-09T11:23:38+00:00

Man am I glad my mediocre ass barely attracts annoying strangers at bars. Only at the train station, really. They tend to be elder men in their 70s, sometimes a little socially deprived. I've been called slightly intimidating before, but that feels irrelevant and like victim blaming. Could I have been lucky because of that, though?

These men definitely could've had bad intentions with horrible consequences. I'm glad I wasn't completely alone. I'm curious to hear stories of how you deal with it.

BornToBeOscarWilde · 2022-03-09T12:43:38+00:00

If you're bilingual you can fake not speaking English! Works every time (✷‿✷)

hilariouslystated · 2022-03-09T04:57:29+00:00

Don't make eye contact with them.

Don't smile at them.

Don't acknowledge them, not even to nod.

TheCatProwlsAgain · 2022-03-09T14:38:38+00:00

As already commented here, best advice is to walk with purpose and not walk around like a tourist, something my dad instilled in me and my sister since childhood to avoid this and general getting mugged off/taken advantage of. In addition just plain ignoring with confidence is kind of our best tactic to shut that shit down.

Unfortunately we can’t control the actions of others, definitely don’t feel like you have to respond to anything they say, let them call you a rude bitch if it means you don’t have to give them a second of your time.

Be safe x

tldrjane · 2022-03-09T07:23:12+00:00

I act like a total stuck up bitch when I can tell someone is getting too flirty, I guess it’s a turn off lol

Zeniite · 2022-03-09T19:18:16+00:00

I'm a polyglot and was followed up the stairs from the subway platform in Paris by a man when I was 22. He saw that the turn style wouldn't open for me when I tried to insert my ticket and offered his to me (in French). I shook my head and then he repeated his offer in English. I replied in Spanish, saying that I didn't understand, then jumped the turnstyle and ran to my hotel. TL;DR - pretend you don't speak the man's language. It won't prevent them from coming up to you, but it might stop them from continuing to try to speak to you.

Meredeen · 2022-03-09T22:43:59+00:00

I find that looking uninterested and serious has mostly worked for me. I interact with men cordially but short.

Imma be honest though me looking uninterested and serious is probably just my depression lol

t3ddi · 2022-03-09T22:44:38+00:00

I find never making eye contact works.

sleepysiri · 2022-03-10T17:22:53+00:00

Lying to them that I was a minor only interested them more. Good luck sis.

Title	How do I avoid men coming up to me?
Author	twerk4kills244
Upvotes	265
Comments	38
Date	March 8, 2022 11:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/t9tsrq/how_do_i_avoid_men_coming_up_to_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-i-avoid-men-coming-up-to-me.1106049 https://theredarchive.com/post/1106049

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