How old is everyone and does that impact strategy?

VikingPug · 2020-07-18T05:16:33+00:00

I’ll be 43 in October. I’ll just be using men in the future. I have no desire to marry anymore. He’d have to be a real good one. I’ve been spending this time to get in fantastic shape and work on my house. My sister lives with me and she’s 32. She’s not dating either. We are waiting to see how Covid goes. Our lives and health come before any men.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-07-18T05:09:28+00:00

Just turned 33. I wish I’d known this 10 years ago because I would have stayed single instead of having LTR’s with LVM and give myself all the time energy and money.

I’m now having a break from dating after a very hard year where I lost some loved ones, to work on myself. I have a few guys already lined up tho who want to date me when I’m ready, but I will be so much more in tune with my wants, needs and core values.

It helps that I want to stay childfree, because I’m in no rush.

I think the FDS mindset will bring you everything, no matter what age you are. Be in love with yourself and your life. Consider changing your single status only if you happen to have the luck of finding a HVM during this awesome journey.

Single should be our default. A good relationship a bonus and a bad one something to avoid at all costs.

We are worth most when we are single and we didn’t even know it. We are always pouring energy in finding or having a man, this is the mindset we need to get rid of. I feel more at peace and free being single now, than I have within any relationship with a LVM.

I know a lot of people who had their first or second marriage in their 40’s to even 80’s in a few instances. I hope it will happen for me, but when it doesn’t because I couldn’t find a HVM I’m still grateful and blessed with my ‘never married status’ because it means I avoided N/LVM.

merigoround1996 · 2020-07-18T03:46:24+00:00

24 and still trying to figure it out honestly! I think in the long run I would rather be single than settle for a partner who doesn’t meet the FDS criteria. Less of a headache

kht777 · 2020-07-18T05:40:31+00:00

29, single before pandemic after getting out of situationship. Absolutely sick of dating and have lost all hope of ever finding a HVM.

We're back in lockdown for the rest of the year in the USA, so I deleted all of my dating apps. I'm busy with school/jobs anyway and keeping busy in meantime with talking to friends and family over facetime/zoom and text.

cirrus_cloud · 2020-07-18T06:20:17+00:00

Yeah. I don’t think it’s safe for us to share personal info like this on the sub. It makes lurkers much more likely to doxx us.

hapahunnie · 2020-07-18T06:31:27+00:00

19 and my strategy was to put myself in therapy first to make sure I was in the right headspace before pursuing anything. I want to make sure I’m able to communicate and respond to things in a healthy way. My goal is to be a reflection of my ideal partner so that way I’m always satisfied- partnered or not :)

AfraidofFollowers · 2020-07-18T05:20:55+00:00

Mid thirties. Covid has stopped me from dating. Dating is more of a hobby than serious though. The people will ask to be serious but until then, I treat it like a hobby. Giving my heart a break for now and scoping those wonderful memes on fds!

No man has ever dated me better than I date myself.

FewButterscotch6 · 2020-07-18T06:27:09+00:00

33 and not interested in dating for at least 2 more years. I'm here to further cement exactly what it is I'm looking for in a partner by having my views on dating validated by other women who are on the same wavelength about the reality of modern relationships. I wasted my 20's on 2 NVM's mostly because I couldn't detach what I actually wanted from what all the Pickmeishas in my social circle kept telling me was "realistic", so I have no interest in getting involved with ANY man until the quality of the women around me improves and I'm a lot more firm in not tolerating what I don't want. I've already leveled up career-wise by getting out of the service industry (which I always hated) and working as a freelancer against the advice of practically everyone I knew, so I now have proof the Strategy works when applied and my focus now is to keep doing me until I'm 100% content alone.

heliodrome · 2020-07-18T02:53:48+00:00

40 years old, no strategy to meet anyone because of my past experiences. I’m not willing to put myself out there like that anymore. Currently just working and keeping busy. My life is very simple and calm, when I’m not dating. Whenever I’m dating, I never feel this way. If a man comes along and I still feel this way, I may consider to date him, but I’m not seeking them out, certainly not on OLD.

kingunia · 2020-07-18T03:17:20+00:00

26, in a relationship

budderflysun · 2020-07-18T02:45:52+00:00

24 - it has been a struggle. I'm more "mature" in a lot of ways due to life experience of losing both parents at a young age. Also still "immature" in many ways i'm sure to anyone a few years older than me. Haven't had any good experiences with guys my age. Best experience so far is now with a 32 year old. We will see how it goes

MuffinSongs · 2020-07-18T03:44:37+00:00

Still killin’ it

passionatevirtuoso · 2020-07-18T04:56:39+00:00

Mid-30s. I thank God I didn't settle down with any of the men I dated long-term. I'm about to accept a management position at a tech firm that is (against all odds) expanding during Covid. It's going to be a lot of work but I am trying to stop pining for a partner so hope it'll help.

catsuramen · 2020-07-18T08:47:47+00:00

29 and just got engaged. I followed FDS religiously for the past 4 years, made some minor variations to fit my lifestyle, no regrets.

I'll continue to vet and level up probably for the rest of my life.

ironymaiden87 · 2020-07-18T12:10:12+00:00

I'm in my early 30s and still recovering from a long, intensely emotionally abusive relationship that ended in 2017, and another more complicated "situationship" that ended in 2018. I feel traumatically scarred from both of them and talking about it here is really helpful. Seeing that what I went through is not rare and there is nothing special or unique about these guys helped me so much. The solidarity I find here is incredible. I honestly never understood men at all until I found FDS. I blamed myself for literally everything they did to me until I realised it can't be about me if nearly every woman on the planet has been through what I've been through!

I do want to be in a relationship eventually, when I'm ready. I'm fully prepared for that to never happen though - if I'm going to be in a relationship again and put my heart on the line for someone they will have to be pretty special. And I'm not using OLD, I loathe everything about it. But it's hard to meet anyone at this age; it was much easier to meet people when I was in my 20s and at university. All the people I know who are in successful relationships met in their 20s.

So yeah. I have fully accepted that I might never be in a relationship again, and I've come to really like being single. I have finally regained my sense of self and I love that I don't define myself according to what men think of me anymore. Age definitely affects dating strategy a lot - by the time we hit our 30s we know what we want and we know we don't want to mess around and waste any more time. Most men our age, however, feel the total opposite. It's such a minefield out there.

zagreus8me · 2020-07-18T08:50:14+00:00

Just turned 31. Broke up with an LVM on my birthday after 15years of being brainwashed and manipulated. No interest in dating I'm happy to be me for as long as I like. I really want kids but I am self sufficient and have a damn good career despite my ex trying to weigh me down. Decided I'll have them without a man when I have my house bought. Anytime I've been out with single friends I've only seen trash LVM and my friends put up with them because that's all there is. I'm not going to waste anymore of my time on trash.

123psych123 · 2020-07-18T04:14:39+00:00

Betty_Bottle · 2020-07-18T14:35:00+00:00

I'm 34 and really enjoying being single. I've really focused on my physical and mental health which is something that was always pushed aside once I met someone. I used to be an awful pickmeisha. I am embarrassed at what I was willing to put up with to keep a man.

Also, I was diagnosed with genital herpes in December last year. At first I thought I was disgusting and was going to be judged and called a slut. I haven't had to disclose to any potential partners yet but it'll help me weed out who is a LVM in disguise.

thedevinefemme · 2020-07-18T14:56:57+00:00

25, in a relationship

devoushka · 2020-07-18T19:18:56+00:00

Im 25. I'm putting myself out there on OLD and just in general and seeing who is willing to put in time and effort to court me, then choosing from there. Not interested in exclusive relationship unless there is concrete evidence of the man's investment in me and our future together.

AyemHerself · 2020-07-18T12:49:45+00:00

About to turn 30 in November, and in a relationship. I'm mostly here for leveling up purposes and to help other women.

Hhjjuuy · 2020-07-18T20:28:02+00:00

I'm 27. I think that we're all looking for slightly different things and that those goals absolutely can be affected by age but also have a lot of variation within the same age groups.

I don't think strategy would change that radically between different goals. Like I think my own perspective is slightly against the grain here. I'm not really aiming for marriage. I don't want to share my home with a romantic partner at all (any time soon at least) but maintaining boundaries and sanity through FDS is still just as relevant to me in any dating I do decide to do. Like my timeframe is just different you know?

For instance the idea of having many different men that you go on different dates with regularly while you vet them and decide who may be worthwhile committing to is a great one. I'm in full support of it but it doesn't fit with my life at all so isn't a strategy I'm going to use specifically. But the abundancy mindset that that strategy reinforces is something I definitely can benefit from. And something I already am benefiting from though I know I have a lot of work to do on myself before I can fully appreciate it.

What strategies do you think may not be working for your age group? Is it possibly a case of the grass being greener? I think there are women here of every age who struggle to meet HVM in their age range.

Great point of discussion! It's something I have been wondering about here.

blair2006 · 2020-07-20T20:30:34+00:00

I’m 25 and I’ve been single for 2.5 years...my longest relationship was 3 months. It makes me feel immature and “behind” but at least I know it’s because I won’t lower my standards and I won’t let guys do things to me which I do not want.

I’ve exclusively gone on dates from dating apps just because I’m very shy and all of my friends are women/I don’t do lots of social stuff where there is men. I would like to meet someone irl, but I’ve never had a crush on a man I’ve met irl.

I do not like casual dating because it is so so hard for me to open myself up emotionally and physically. I also do not want kids at all, ever, so it’s hard to find a child free man who isn’t looking for a sex doll.

I wish things were different for me, but I have seen countless friends be in shitty relationships and I will not let anyone treat me that way. I decided any man who enters my life has to meet and fulfill my wildest dreams and manifestations. Anything less is offensive to my soul.

curlygirl507 · 2020-07-18T05:00:57+00:00

I'm 32 with hardly any interest in dating, let alone marriage. I post on here to try to help other women.

I actually think the best time to meet a partner is before age 20. I realize how absurd that sounds, but that's the age at which most of my friends settled with their partners, and we are far from some kind of conservative, traditional community. Also, the best choice of men I had in my life was in high school. By the time I got to college, even though I went to a large state school, everyone was already paired up. 🤷‍♀️

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