I dumped him because he wouldn’t add me on facebook.

m4dam3x · 2020-03-28T16:55:49+00:00

Long ago I dated a guy who wouldn’t accept my request... when I brought it up... confession time... he was MARRIED. We had been dating for two months and I had no idea.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-03-28T17:45:20+00:00

So my ex husband refused to add me on FB. He’d ask me why I needed that, tell me that I was being immature and getting “validation” from silly old FB. Neither of us was big into social media but I felt frustrated because it was the principle.

I have since remarried and my ex has a gf of about a year. Guess who got added RIGHT AWAY to his FB? That’s right.

Don’t let them gaslight you that you’re immature for caring about social media. Even if they aren’t cheating, the symbolic showing of a relationship on social media means something.

Loonietoons933 · 2020-03-28T18:59:28+00:00

Why he isnt adding you: he is a cheater.

RoyalOccasion · 2020-03-28T17:11:23+00:00

No there’s no valid reason unless he literally has a dead profile he doesn’t use.

I’ve made the same mistake in the past. It lasted a couple of months but it bugged the shit out of me.

Saitschik · 2020-03-28T18:19:27+00:00

Something to hide or he wants to hide you. You did well

PicklesNBacon · 2020-03-28T19:09:39+00:00

The only reason I could think of is that he wanted to appear single...or he didn’t want you seeing stuff on his wall/profile. That’s shady AF

rayne_chi · 2020-03-28T16:57:40+00:00

Yeah that’s definitely shady af. I’m so proud of you for not putting up with shit! He gone learn today! lol

radical__daphne · 2020-03-28T17:21:24+00:00

This is a prime example of why you don't discuss important things over text message. They will just ignore you.

nerezzamore · 2020-03-28T17:15:51+00:00

Nice job! Inspiring energy :) and sorry for your "loss", I hope you weren't in too deep

2020-03-28T19:46:24+00:00

When I friend-requested my girlfriend on fb several weeks passed and when I finally remembered to mention it she went ‘oh yeah I haven’t been on there in months’ and promptly went on there and added me. Which is the only proper response I think.

lasolterita · 2020-03-28T20:30:07+00:00

SO proud of you for ending it that quickly. THIS kind of quick thinking deeply inspires me.

Old me would've been like, "Oh but that's something so small, I can't just dump him for THAT" ...but old me was TALENTED at denying the fact that such bad signs tend to be one among MANY. Kudos, you are a queen of self-love!

siberiansummer · 2020-03-28T21:54:09+00:00

What it means is that he is at least is not serious about you, but usually it means he is keeping his options open. He doesn't want other people to see he has a gf, he doesn't want you to like his pics, or even worse - commenting! What is you are gonna post a picture of him and you together?! That will ruin his every chance to get someone better than you or find a side chick

aclumsygirl · 2020-03-28T20:19:59+00:00

I generally don't put much stock in social media gestures but this is definitely a red flag. If he's active on FB and refusing to even friend you at this stage, he wants to keep his options open. There's no other explanation. Sorry.

mommy2jasper · 2020-03-28T22:57:16+00:00

Good for you!! I’ve been in this situation before. We met at work, and dated for two years before he left the job. We weren’t as public with our relationship as I would’ve liked, but dating coworkers was forbidden. Once we didn’t have the same employer anymore, I tried to add him. He always said he hardly ever used it, gaslighted me saying I care too much about what other people think on social media.. I WAS PREGNANT with his kid by this point (I am embarrassed). He eventually added me after I told him for a week straight that I was leaving with our baby if he didn’t add me. Low and behold, I found out he was cheating on me a few months later. Shady behavior that I will never accept again

LeftSharkDancing · 2020-03-28T18:38:19+00:00

I actually dumped a guy because his Facebook was too public. He tagged me every time we were out somewhere. Posted pictures. All sorts of stuff...sounds great right? Well the issue arose because I had moved back into the immediate area of my dad, who I was no contact with and my dad's brother was liking almost instantly any post I was tagged in.

I asked him to switch his profile from public to friends only and he refused because he used it for work as well as a bunch of different swinger groups. (Pickmesha says at least I knew about the groups.)

We broke up shortly after that.

throwaway_LOLLOL · 2020-03-28T22:45:56+00:00

Massive red flag every single time trust me. You dodged a bullet.

He wants to appear single to other girls, female friends,/female co worker he is interested in or his exes that he wants to get back together.

Or He already has side-girl or in a "flirtationship" with other girl he wants to be with in future.

The ONLY time that is acceptable that he doesn't have a facebook account at all in the first place. But he clearly has a facebook account and uses it too. Keep him blocked and out of your life entirely!

Karolin99_Ger · 2020-03-28T18:17:52+00:00

literally Queen !!

laylamiller · 2020-03-28T23:45:57+00:00

Sadly I had an uncle introduce us to his sidepiece while he was separated. Brought her to a holiday dinner and big mouthed kid me was like, "Where is Auntie Jackie?" And got smacked by my Grannie and told to stay in a child's place. When the woman looked shocked AF. But when the dust settled my Uncle stayed married to my Aunt. i don't know if he stayed faithful but he did in fact stay married. I never saw this woman again.

Sadly nowadays getting introduced to a guy's family and friends is no guarantee that he's on the up and up. Many men's family know this routine and will play along with him, at least they won't blow up his spot like that, lol.

penelopekitty · 2020-03-28T21:27:38+00:00

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. Turned out he had another girlfriend in another state. We were supposedly exclusive.

flofloflomingle · 2020-03-29T04:38:36+00:00

I had a boyfriend who didn't post photos of me on instagram or add me on twitter. His twitter was public and I would see girls commenting. Finally he added me on twitter but still not tweets or posts of me. He said his aesthetics were sneakers and friends.

One night I was mad and just went through his instagram. Saw a lot of posts with his friend who I hated (she physically attacked me on multiple occasions) and some other friends. On Twitter I would see his girl friends tweet him "ily" and what not. I decided to start liking all the photos and tweets. Counted them up and made an instagram post - black background with "just sneakers and friends" and the comment was the number of posts. Tagged him and after he got off work he started going off how his friends were asking him why I was liking their tweets and the post. I broke up with him and felt nice

I know pretty but I was 20.

Pipulka · 2020-03-28T17:17:46+00:00

Guys who don't add me on socials before a date get cancelled. Usually got shit to hide. I cyberstalk befpre each date regardless. If you can't find any info they lied.

2020-03-28T19:09:55+00:00

Proud of you! Congrats!

theides81 · 2020-03-29T03:49:51+00:00

I went out with a guy a few times who had me blocked on Facebook but wouldn't admit to it. I was able to see his page early on (when I Googled him to make sure he was who he said he was/wasn't a murderer or something) but then shortly after that I couldn't see it anymore. I asked my BFF to look and she could still see his page, so obviously I was blocked. I asked him about it & he was like "that's so weird, I have no idea, blah blah blah" trying to act like it was some accident, like do you think I was born yesterday? I never figured out what exactly his deal was (married/gf/other) but he was obviously lying about something b/c he ended up ghosting me eventually. It sucks when you get along with someone so well and you just want things to work out but that person ends up being shady.

I think you did the right thing by breaking it off. You've gotta trust your gut, even if your brain tells you you're overreacting. It sounds to me like he's being dishonest about something--maybe nothing major, but something nonetheless.

2020-03-28T19:39:28+00:00

You made the fith move. That's some weird behavior on his part.

rayvin4000 · 2020-03-28T23:54:10+00:00

There's always a reason and it's always weird. Good for you.

hyacinthgirl95 · 2020-03-28T21:02:21+00:00

this reminded me of Frank Ocean's Facebook story. Like just add her jesus christ!! girl don't unblock that foo.

2020-03-28T18:32:45+00:00

I completely feel you on this. What are you thinking . I don’t know if I d been as strong as I feel you are being right or. But you decide

pastel_ennui · 2020-03-28T21:12:11+00:00

I had this same problem with my ex. He would never post photos of us, never mentioned me on social media, wouldn't update our status on FB. It really bothered me, and every time I brought it up he made me feel like I was being stupid about something so petty. But it was significant to me and the fact that he just wouldn't do it should have been a glaring red flag.

Finally he updated our status on Facebook and it made me ridiculously gratified. It really didn't take much to make me happy in the relationship but the little things I wanted he just couldn't seem to do. He soon took down the status after a female friend of his freaked out on him about it because he hadn't "informed her" he was in a relationship. Apparently her feelings and comfort were more important than mine.

2020-03-29T12:10:42+00:00

Yeah, he’s hiding something.

gabriellita · 2020-03-29T14:39:24+00:00

DEFINITELY A BIG RED FLAG! He most likely had another girlfriend probably, this situation happens way too often. Good for you that you blocked him and did not allow him time to manipulate you.

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