It seems like men will only settle down with someone who’s absolutely perfect, and I don’t have the energy anymore.

persephones_torch · 2020-03-23T21:15:53+00:00

Think about it. If you got one of these shallow, superficial guys to date you/chase you and eventually become your boyfriend, you'll be pressured to keep up appearances and a lifestyle that really wasn't the authentic you to begin with.

These guys aren't your target market. Don't even try to impress them. What you need to do is find something you are passionate about, and shine there. That way, if somehow a person who is also into the same thing notices you, he would notice you for the right reasons. And you don't have to work at keeping up appearances because you were being true to yourself.

jujuda12 · 2020-03-23T21:15:44+00:00

Get off social media, Its clearly affecting your self-esteem. There are places you can meet people not online. Once this pandemic is dealt with.

shrno · 2020-03-23T22:41:24+00:00

Men settle for women who settle. I used to think like you until I started socializing/being friendly with women who I thought were PERFECT and I can assure you that the men they were with didn't give a **** about them. It didn't matter how beautiful, kind, hardworking these women were or how their relationships looked from the outside, men always thought they could do better and didn't appreciate them at all.

TL;DR: Dress how you want, men are delusional.

backforbeskar · 2020-03-23T22:34:14+00:00

If I’m being honest, most men won’t settle unless they feel ready to settle. And this is an arbitrary marker based on culture, age or them just realizing they hit the wall when younger women no longer find them fuckable. You could put the most perfect woman in front of a pre-wall man and he’ll do the entire fucboi routine. You need to catch them post-wall, usually past 30 when they are stuck in a dead end job and starting to see male pattern balding. But for real, do so at your own risk.

ny-lady · 2020-03-23T23:13:48+00:00

I think social media filled with selfies is a thirsty pick me. Some here and there is fine.

Id also say good men dont want women who lives on social media constantly posting selfies. They would prefer her not posting stuff for attention and low key. Look at me, look a me with selfies attracts crappy guys.

laila123456789 · 2020-03-23T20:32:05+00:00

Oh I do feel the same way. It's not worth it to put so much time and energy into your appearance. Men will fuck literally anything. It's better to put your time and energy into improving yourself, like educating yourself or doing hobbies you enjoy. Volunteering, helping out the community

lozza_queztinz · 2020-03-24T02:25:50+00:00

I've usually seen relationships in real life where the girl is kinda busted, was an ugly duckling back in school, has weight issues, where as a lot of pretty girls are single...

So I don't know girl.

90sCosmoEnergy · 2020-03-24T10:22:52+00:00

Oh, that has not been my experience. Most of the men I've known have ended up marrying just really average women. It's because that's who they happened to be dating when the "I should get married" urge struck. I always thought Miranda from Sex and the City explained it best.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-03-24T00:22:59+00:00

Having to "keep up with IG"...if it is not your thing, then that's no way to live. I personally do not care to post photos of myself on Instagram, I just post pictures of things I like that I see when I go about my life. If a guy cares about IG and wants me to post photos of myself, he would not be my type and I would not want him. I would essentially have to change who I am to appease him. I still like to be fashionable though and care about my health and diet. But that is because I want to, not for a guy. Just work on being the person that YOU want to be, not being the ideal person for some dude. Most of the time guys don't know what they want anyways...so no point in trying to match all their criteria...

Novemberinthechair · 2020-03-23T21:13:06+00:00

They don't know what perfect is. They only know what being digitally airbrushed is.

lluviaazul · 2020-03-23T22:15:24+00:00

I don’t agree with this post for the most part. I’m not on any social media and while I don’t have trouble finding men to date that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing as most of them are trash. What I do to combat what you’re describing is I only get into relationships with men that also don’t have social media or barely use it. If you’re getting past online presence I would recommend the same. It might be a little tricky but I think it’s the way to go.

_pecanpie_ · 2020-03-24T02:42:59+00:00

[deleted]

curlygirl507 · 2020-03-24T04:36:34+00:00

Neither men nor their preferences matter in the least. What matters is that you're investing your time, energy, and money into yourself, and are happy with your own life.

ghygdryhchmmmmjj · 2020-03-23T21:52:28+00:00

It's all true. And honestly, when I focused 100% on my looks I attracted narcissists and psychos who wanted to use me as a status symbol. They didn't care about mr at all. I'm older so "perfection" in certain ways looks much different now than it used to and I'm not going to kill myself over it. I'm only 30, but I have eye crinkles ect. I used to diet extremely and do alot of cardio. I build muscle easily so I always looked very healthy and toned even when really, I should have been eating more. I finally just snapped. I seriously dont care. I'm going to get as ripped as I want, I'm not getting work done anywhere on my body, and I'm gonna love my dam eye lines. Yes I moisturize, but I'm also a ginger and love spending time in the sun. No I'm not going to be exploited into buying 1,000 dollar skin care routine that does nothing, I'm not going to miss out on fun events because beer has calories. Screw it. Truth is I dont look that different, its not that I let myself go, I just dont care to look "perfect" based on the beauty standards of this 10 year period. Yes it changes every 10 years. You guys member 2000-2010 when the super thin with big chest was the look? So anorexia was a bit of a problem, I was part of that wave in high school. Implants were the big thing people did. Now its skinny thick, face fillers and lip fillers, hip pads. It's so much more... What if it goes back to a different beauty standard in 10 years? Are all those girls who spent so much of thier hard earned money going to go back to get it all reverted?! Nah. Of course not. We all have to love what we have. We have no control over what kind of beauty standard will be considered a status symbol for MEN in whatever 10 years we're in. I do understand people making little adjustments that are very important to them, it's fine, but I'm done. I hope it weeds out shallow guys! I actually still love fashion I just try to wear what amuses me and gives me confidence, rather than how "attractive" it makes me look. So amen sis! Also, to be perfectly honest guys dont even understand what they're looking at half the time. Their idea of perfection depends on the guy and it's no use thinking there is a perfect standard. You could be a perfect 10 by today's standards and it turns out the guy only likes and I quote "Latin girls" lol , Latin girls are beautiful no doubt, but that's physically impossible for me to be, so I need a guy who appreciates what I got. My first bf was a self proclaimed "butt guy" 🙄 then whhhhhhy was he dateing me? We come in all shapes and sizes. Men who chase after girls who look exactly like the current beauty standard are only interested in its ability to stroke their ego due to the status it would give them. I do NOT want that

_pecanpie_ · 2020-03-24T19:36:14+00:00

Guys who use IG are peak LVM. And women who use IG scream cool girl. IG = free porn from easily exploited pickmes. You don’t need to be a people pleaser, you don’t need a daily status to tell strangers how you’re doing or what you look like today, the sooner you find that out the healthier you will be. PS, Don’t bother chiming in with your “but I use IG to follow puppies!!” I don’t give a shit.

Title	It seems like men will only settle down with someone who’s absolutely perfect, and I don’t have the energy anymore.
Author	kittycakes22
Upvotes	112
Comments	39
Date	March 23, 2020 4:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fnmwo5/it_seems_like_men_will_only_settle_down_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/it-seems-like-men-will-only-settle-down-with.679681 https://theredarchive.com/post/679681

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