Ladies : take note !

WillingBeing · 2020-03-11T10:04:53+00:00

I once shared with a boyfriend that I was raped, and he asked why I hadn’t included my rapist in my “number.”

I learned the hard way, ladies. Never share your trauma. Never share how many sexual partners you’ve had.

Resident_Biscotti · 2020-03-11T09:29:59+00:00

My ex hated it. He was convinced men are mostly the victim of false rape and that women are malicious people that do this because ‘people believe them more than men’. He argues that there are so many men in prison because of false rape. He also had a bee in his bonnet about women taking custody of kids and not letting men see their kids just to be evil.

A young couple we both knew got married and shortly after the girl got pregnant. My ex was absolutely livid and said the girl ‘fucking ruined her husbands plans’ (apparently the husband has ideas about him and his wife moving country or something) and that it was all her fault and some disgusting secret scheme of hers to get pregnant... it takes two people to get pregnant ? o_o

Meraxes373 · 2020-03-11T08:18:55+00:00

fact, men are actually more likely to get raped than to get falsely accused of sexual abuse, also another thing..false rape accusation numbers are often due to poor conviction rates by the courts.

jewdy09 · 2020-03-11T07:46:15+00:00

I think some men actually believe this is a real fear. They don’t realize how rare false accusations are and that almost every woman they know has been violated sexually in one way or another. They have been indoctrinated by this ridiculous narrative that other men are using to combat the reality that they can no longer count on women not reporting their shitty behavior and on not being held accountable.

But, a lot of these men are also the men who believe they are supposed to try and wear a woman’s resolve down until she lets him have sex with her. They think they have made a conquest when it reality what they have just done is have sex with a woman who made it clear she didn’t want to have sex at all. That is not a false accusation by a woman who feels buyer’s remorse. They recognize this situation because they have done shit like that too, but don’t want to call it what it is because that would make them rapists too.

Men should spend more time trumpeting about enthusiastic consent instead of this false accusation bullshit. Hey dummies, protect yourself against this vanishingly rare boogeyman by waiting until she is sure she wants to have sex with you, not when you wear her down with your pathetic begging or through varying degrees of intimidation that you can plausibly deny being intimidation.

NorthrnSwede · 2020-03-11T10:04:58+00:00

Everyone, regardless of age or gender, is far more likely to actually be sexually assaulted than to experience false accusations. Anyone more worried about the false accusations is basically just announcing that they know they are rape-y af.

MakingBadDecisions · 2020-03-11T11:46:31+00:00

It's well known that building fires can often be done for an insurance claim (failing business needs to recoup costs from insurance) so much so that insurance companies spend lots of money to investigate if the arson is a false allegation and it was done by the owner. However, when there's a fire, people still take it for granted that it's genuine, as they should.

Funny how for the crimes were false allegations are more common, no one is like "Well maybe the business owner is making it up to get back at the insurance?? Hmmm??? False allegations happen!" But when a woman comes forward about being raped, a crime that has a low false allegation rate- its all about doubting the victim.

Edit: to the fanboy in my DMs saying that people do doubt fires and this is exactly why rapes are questioned- Boy, so when your neighbour's house burns down, are you there like "

Well are you sure this happened? I mean, you could be lying. Yeah, I know there's evidence of your house burning down but like... are you sure you didn't want it? I mean, if you're not lying and someone else DID really burn down your house (which, they probably didn't. I PERSONALLY would NEVER burn down a house and nor would any man I know, so that's really unlikely) but if someone DID... maybe you just gave the message that you wanted it? Didn't you say you wish your house was warmer? I mean, there's a lot of subtlety..."

No. You fucking wouldn't. You wouldn't say that shit to anyone else you know who comes forward about a crime happening to them. So sit your ass down and shut the fuck up because you know how fucking dumb that is and you know you wouldn't try to blame the victim as hard if it was a different crime.

Aggressive-March · 2020-03-11T13:22:49+00:00

There was a rape accusation against the good friend of a guy I was seeing and this guys main concern was how it would impact his popularity and association with this guy...not u know how the girl felt.

2020-03-11T21:46:37+00:00

A seemingly nice guy told me that when he has daughters he will teach them to fight back. This was in context of Aziz. I said when someone is doing that you often go into shock and can't fight, but even if you can being aggressive with someone who assaults is most likely going to result in your ass being handed to you, possibly even him pressing charges. His response was "but Aziz is small and weak looking so those aren't good excuses."

jomofomo · 2020-03-11T17:58:07+00:00

the first time I had sex with my ex he triggered me by accident (I will have flashbacks if anyone lays on top of me/puts their body weight on me). When I said that I was being triggered and why my ex goes “so you’re calling me a rapist?” I should have run for the hills right then and there

sososonia · 2020-03-11T15:43:49+00:00

I watched Room on Netflix with SO and he cried throughout the movie. Chose a good one.

delightfulcheer · 2020-03-11T19:53:37+00:00

Honestly. SUCH a warning sign if his first response is any kind of doubt / disbelief of victims.

honeydewmelonz · 2020-03-11T15:11:34+00:00

My teenaged brother.

laylamiller · 2020-03-11T14:32:39+00:00

This is actually one of the first type of questions I bring up casually around men to gauge what kind of person they are by their responses.

I actually stopped dating because too many men I encountered, once they weren't flirting they were acting as if rape/sexual assault/sexual harassment was some kind of exaggerated myth. I'm in my late twenties and the only men I've met who don't seem to have this attitude are around my father's age. I don't know what happened to the men in my generation.

leeloo6199 · 2020-03-11T22:47:20+00:00

My ex once told me he liked it when I wasn't into the sex. Like me saying " no, hurry up, stop" freak.

itsallsoconfusing · 2020-03-12T02:32:40+00:00

If I had a dollar for every time some guy said this to me.... including my ex-husband.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-03-14T11:08:25+00:00

I shared my trauma with my bf and he was filled with anger and disgust— he said if he ever sees the guy, he will beat down on him so hard that .. well you know. I think men should react this way, I mean how would they react if someone raped their daughter? Would they ask if their daughter is lying, or grab their shotgun and beat some ass?

Title	Ladies : take note !
Author	damselinareddress
Upvotes	817
Comments	47
Date	March 11, 2020 5:42 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fgsc1v/ladies_take_note/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-take-note.722782 https://theredarchive.com/post/722782

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