Men playing victim

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-10-03T02:29:49+00:00

“Yes, I am quite busy. Why do you have so much time on your hands?”

asianinindia · 2021-10-03T03:08:31+00:00

I completely lose interest in men the second they do that. I'm not interested in dating a child. It's fine if, later in the relationship, they do it while playing around. But apart from that? Ew.

katiekat0214 · 2021-10-03T03:55:30+00:00

Had a weird dude (male, and married, clearly with a throwaway FDS account) slide into my DMs and start asking me questions, playing the victim. He wanted to be spoonfed Feminism 101, not happening. He felt entitled to my time (meh, you can ask, I don't promise any answers... you're not paying me a salary). But then, when I started asking questions, he immediately got defensive and then tried weirdly to project his crap onto me. Bizarre. Everything he said about me, about FDS, painted us as victims, haters, angry, bitter... and my first thought was, but you're a dude? and you're married? Um... why exactly are you sliding into my DMs again? I don't get it.

PeachPitiless · 2021-10-03T04:19:19+00:00

I had one date with a man and if I didn't respond to his texts within 15 minutes, he'd do that. Text me "Guess you're busy" or just "Ok..."

I reminded him that I'm active and wasn't going to stop jogging to respond to his texts right away. He drove me crazy almost immediately so it didn't progress past that first date.

blueveinnoble · 2021-10-03T04:25:26+00:00

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lilac-hiraeth · 2021-10-03T04:10:45+00:00

Worst is when they light up all their trauma bombs on date two to hook you in for sympathy but it’s just pathetic. Ew.

The last four guys who wanted to date me unloaded all their life trauma at my feet looking for some no effort fawning and easy sex. Nah. To me it shows you haven’t cleaned up your mess, no matter how it came to be.

One guy told me how much his mom abused him as a child, he was her “roommate” and told her to “fuck off” in front of me while she was expressing concern to him after he brought himself to get beat up. Lol no, you’re a victim of your complex, not your mom who still houses you well after take off should have happened.

TERFSareawesome · 2021-10-03T07:11:44+00:00

There's a popular book about negotiation where the author shares a strategy for what to do if someone isn't as responsive as you'd like in a business deal. He suggests making a statement that forces them to either confirm their interest or tell you the deal is off.

I feel like men have adapted this to dating and they accuse women of being too busy, etc hoping that we'll respond and confirm being interested in them. But most try it too soon, like before you've even met them.

To me, it feels like an attempt to get validation and to get me to express my desire for them, but they do it at a point when they've offered literally nothing as a reason I should even want them around.

GodILoveTheEnglish · 2021-10-03T03:17:04+00:00

It happens soooo much. Especially that texting thing, ugh. No - I do not feel bad because I did not text you for a few hours. I have other things to do. Don't triple text me, and don't try to guilt me because I didn't reply to you lol.

See also: Women bringing up how much men r@!# us and them being like "but what about the women who make false accusations :/" as if that ever really happens as much as they think. as if that ever happened to them, and as if women reporting it ever get taken seriously

AC7878 · 2021-10-03T03:38:37+00:00

Victim mentality to me is just immaturity. My ex was like this where the third date he dared to victimize himself that his ex cheated then the day he broke it off he blamed his parents for raising him the way he was along with blaming his cheating ex. I've learned the hard way how much of this was a red flag. He traumatized me for being emotionally abusive and making me feel like I was going crazy. However I don't victimize myself for it. I looked back, learned that I have unhealed wounds/trauma to be attracted to someone who treated me so badly and I took accountability for it. I got into therapy and picking myself up slowly but surely.

Yes, people can be a victim and go through alot of bad experiences in their lives. However we need to also be able to look back, learn, and heal, whatever and however long it takes. You can't be stuck in a victim mentality forever, it's honestly the gate way of ruining relationships with yourself and with others.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-10-03T02:24:16+00:00

They're all little bitches now. But they also get rewarded for it so they do it on purpose too. Easiest way to control most women as well.

DuchessDurag · 2021-10-03T06:19:33+00:00

It amazes me that men have all this time to text all day and night instead of doing something productive. It’s a lack of respect for someone’s time and very entitled to demand their attention.

I had a guy once told me I was a “snob”. I told him I didn’t owe him anything and that he should talks to friends to dump his baggage on.

When I had to work, study or travel I made sure my focus was on myself. I didn’t need to waste my time on mindless texting someone who manages to find themselves bored all the time.

I’ve lost count on the guys I’ve blocked because they distracted me during my busy hours. What’s worse is when men act like you’re cheating on them or assume your off with other men when they know you’re a busy person.

Shhhhhh86 · 2021-10-03T06:15:30+00:00

Ok this is like the biggest red flag to me. I see/hear this crap... I'm out real quick. Fell for it once. Never again. He turned out to be a narcissist. Now I'm the one he tells stories about to show how much of a victim he is

I realized too little too late that everything his exes said was true... Never again.

europoor24 · 2021-10-03T06:55:59+00:00

seems like he's doing that cause he wants to talk rn. If the roles were reversed he'd have no empathy.

originallykoko · 2021-10-03T14:46:25+00:00

Men seem to want to be entitled to your time. I had a man call my phone at 11pm when I'm in bed to talk. I didn't answer. The next day I got a message telling me that being a rude fucking bitch won't help me find a man. Ok cool. If that means I don't end up with a man like him, then thank God.

Owl-right · 2021-10-03T02:32:23+00:00

Next!

Muffcakelord · 2021-10-03T08:55:37+00:00

I think you're wrong about men ever not playing the victim. Men make everything including menses about themselves and punish women for it. It is a common narcissist trait to play the victim

23eggz · 2021-10-03T16:49:01+00:00

What gets me is the men who claim that men are bring oppressed while simultaneously denying any form of actual systematic oppression... looking at you Jordan Peterson

Thesseli · 2021-10-03T16:03:56+00:00

Men who do that are testing women to see if you'll drop everything the instant he contacts you...they want you at their beck and call.

DoversBlue · 2021-10-03T16:43:10+00:00

I had a similar issue with a guy who was texting me. That manbaby whined because I refused to text him back during work hours and claimed that I didn't care about him, what if something bad happened to him. I'll specify that he also was supposed to working at that time. On top of that, his workplace is within an office. That scrote was acting like his job was Superman saving the world.

darkhorse8419 · 2021-10-03T18:49:32+00:00

Honestly it’s just a manipulation tactic. Since The Who MeToo movement and toxic masculinity call out, men know that women are turned off my hyper masculine displays, so they try to tap into our nurturing, empathetic side. It’s sociopathic. Luckily their lack of emotional intelligence keeps them from striking just the right tone and they end up looking pathetic.

Morepaperplease · 2021-10-03T09:40:01+00:00

Texting is not a relationship - zero effort and zero risk. If this is your only attention, you’re a game fir him - stop it.
If a guy ignores you via text after he initiates and causes you to feel important - don’t chase him and do not answer him. If he doesn’t follow up with in oerson talk and apologize- you are a game.
If a guy has a roommate that is female- and she doesn’t like you - it’s because she doesn’t know about you because that’s his girlfriend- stop answering his texts- you are a game for him.

They must show up- actually participate, and engage. Texting is not dating. It’s fishing and entertainment for him.

janestnycrk4 · 2021-10-03T14:04:31+00:00

Did I mention the : I am being discriminated against as much as a women because they expect men to get a hair cut? Hasn't walked in a Walmart in forever then. lol

purasangria · 2021-10-03T03:08:47+00:00

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shoesfromparis135 · 2021-10-06T05:04:56+00:00

Oh, have I noticed it. I could write a book about that shit. Oh that’s right, I did. Coming soon to a kindle near you.

Title	Men playing victim
Author	TERFSareawesome
Upvotes	445
Comments	53
Date	October 3, 2021 2:08 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q08jx8/men_playing_victim/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-playing-victim.1078157 https://theredarchive.com/post/1078157

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