standards check: career / education level

blazing_fire_trux · 2021-01-26T12:17:26+00:00

A BS minimum and a job with a clear career path and upward mobility. Some people aren't academics, and I don't look down on them for it, but I need to date someone who has that academic mindset, rather than a vocational skillset. Our personalities and way of life just match better. A man with a technical career can be a very hard-working, honest, wonderful man, but he's not the man for me.

sassyheather · 2021-01-26T12:28:59+00:00

Looking at my exes: not great, love, not great.

My first ex has been only employed for 3 months since he got his Master degree and is still currently unemployed (turning 29 this year).

My second ex is 4 years younger than me so it was impossible for him to already have a degree. However, he is on his way to a business degree (we met at university) and has always worked part-time jobs to support himself, that I can approve of even though he spent more money on weed than on me and only paid the full check once the day before dumping me

Enter the change in my life also known as my boyfriend. He studied for an electrician and worked as one for years (prior to that researching whether they are paid enough and needed enough) and is now doing a university degree in marine engineering and technology management, because 1. he finds it interesting, 2. he researched and found out the unemployment rate is 1% and the pay is really high, 3. he wants to have more job opportunities which come with a second education. He is incredibly intelligent and hard-working, really busts his ass studying and applying practical concepts. This program is one of the hardest (hence the good pay and low unemployment) and half of his class have already been expelled due to not passing exams and that’s in the first year! Everything about my boyfriend is my standard. The way he makes his life choices and prioritizes his education and professional development is the standard I’m gonna hold him to always.

weekend111 · 2021-01-26T14:01:48+00:00

I’m currently dating a guy who works a white collar job, but I’d consider a guy who works blue collar. He’d have to be smart about his finances, be capable of smart conversation, and pass most of the same standards as a white collar guy would, but I wouldn’t turn down a guy who has high value attitudes regarding women just because he works blue collar.

In fact, I’ve found that my experiences with blue collar workers show that they tend to be more HV, whereas white collar are pompous. But that might have been me.

Maude2010 · 2021-01-26T17:09:40+00:00

I have a lot of degrees and know that education does not necessarily translate into intelligence or a good career. I’m also old enough that men I date might be moving into retirement if they can afford it.

My standards are: (1) exceptionally smart, whether that came from books, travel, life experience, or formal schooling, or some combination of these things; (2) he does something with his time that he’s passionate about and that adds something to the world, and he has no concerns about money.

BellaMob · 2021-01-26T16:33:13+00:00

BA degree minimum and good career. But no lawyers and no snobby academics.

I have high standards when it comes to their cultural taste as well. I can't date men who don't read anything and haven't looked at art since their trip to a museum in middle school. They tend to be very boring.

Danigirl_03 · 2021-01-26T14:08:00+00:00

I have 2 bachelors degrees. I don’t expect a guy to have the same level of education. What I do expect is that they will make the same or more money than me. They need to have a good career they enjoy and that has growth potential.

There’s some amazing guys who work trades and bring home bank. And there are some complete douches with a PhD.

CatcherInTheFly · 2021-01-26T14:53:40+00:00

Had an ex in a trade job. He made bank. He used himself as an example for "not everyone has to go to college!"

Fast forward 20 years. He is now on disability because the repetitive movement and heavy work blew his back out in his mid 40s. His wife is now carrying them. Could happen to anyone in any career but both my dad and stepdad are no longer able to do their physical jobs.

Altowhovian93 · 2021-01-26T16:10:59+00:00

I am married, my husband has a BS, and an MBA and is gainfully employed. If I were not married, I would want a man with a college degree that was employed but has a work life balance. I want to have equal smarts with a partner and not have to dumb myself down.

warinmymind94 · 2021-01-26T16:54:42+00:00

I have 2 bachelors degrees so I would want someone that also at least has a bachelors OR I would be open to a man thats completed trade school. They need to have gainful employment or if they have their own company it needs to be successful and legitimate.

I wanted to get my masters and only took 2 classes towards it but im being drawn back into the business world. I filed for my own LLC. I work part time and work for myself the rest of the time. I have thought about getting an MBA, but have been told by many that its been a waste of money if you just plan to work for yourself. I also really can't handle online classes. I prefer real classes that meet. Working for myself as a small business owner is something I really enjoy. I have backup plans though if anything heads south. Covid has me laying low and working hard, but im holding off on more school and staying in my current area. The area I want to live has too many covid shut downs anyways.

OutlandishnessTiny14 · 2021-01-26T22:48:16+00:00

I used to think I wanted prospective partners to be educated to the same level as me (I'm a PhD). But no, they're just the worst Jordan Peterson fanboys and LVMs I've ever met.

Intellectual curiosity and openness, ambition, commitment are much more important irrespective of career/education.

CatcherInTheFly · 2021-01-26T14:56:19+00:00

Could not stand a man who wasnt done at 5,6ish MOST days. Office job, no pilots, doctors only if they're in a clinic, not hospital

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2021-01-26T13:34:39+00:00

For reference, I’m a married black attorney. If I were thrust back into the dating world, my career/education requirements would look like:

Any man I’m dating must have 2+ degrees that are high earning and useful. Black women are notorious for marrying down at the educational level which prevents social mobility and I do not want that for myself or my future child.

NO LAWYERS. Nuff said.

Must have a salaried position. Period. I know independent contractors can make damn good money and so can entrepreneurs, but work like that can dry up on a dime. I crave stability and knowing exactly where I can find my husband should something go wrong. Same with financial stability; I need to know you’ve got income, a 401k health insurance, etc before I want to invest my time.

Must not be married to his job. I’ve got colleagues working 50-60 hours and sneaking to the office on Sundays. Nuh-uh. I need more than just a kiss goodnight in terms of time.

Must have been employed at at least 1 job for a reasonable length of time and no big unexplained gaps in employment. Shows commitment, drive and a lack of wishy-washy attitude. And I’m not taking care of no damn body who couldn’t get a job within 60-90 days.

Finally, gotta make 6 figs. I’m an attorney. I’m not accepting a man who makes less than me. Period. A certain amount of ehhh would arise if I were making 145k and he were making say, 130k, because at this point, the difference is somewhat meaningless in terms of spending power and increasing my standard of life but I’ll always prefer to be out earned and need a consistent history of high earning and a projection for more income in the future.

MelatoninNightmares · 2021-01-26T16:07:54+00:00

I'm married, but when I was dating/if I was still dating....

Bachelor's degree at a minimum, advanced degrees strongly preferred. I would maybe be willing to make exceptions for men with two-year degrees in certain fields (like, there's a lot of decent-paying jobs in the healthcare industry that only require a 2-year degree), but that would be on a case-by-base basis.

I want a partner who can keep up with me intellectually. I also want a partner who shares my interests and values, and someone who didn't pursue higher education probably doesn't share my love of learning or my value for education.

Career level, I would be more flexible about. Because if I was dating, I'd be looking at guys in their mid 20s to early 30s. People with advanced degrees are likely to be early in their careers at that point, or even still in school. As long as he's showing ambition and drive and has realistic career goals, being entry-level or even finishing up a masters or doctoral degree at that point isn't a dealbreaker. By realistic career goals, I mean he didn't throw thousands in student loans on a useless degree, he's not hanging his entire future on hopes of getting tenure/has a lucrative Plan B, he doesn't intend to be a "forever student," etc.

howdoilogoutt · 2021-01-26T14:39:24+00:00

My ex was a uni drop out, bartender/drug dealer. My current bf is a Master's graduate computer scientist. I'd say they ideally have a good degree and a good job with ambition. But I wouldn't mind if they didn't have the degree but had a skill and a good job.

ferociouslycurious · 2021-01-27T17:58:29+00:00

I don’t know that I have a hard minimum, though high school absolutely required I guess. I need evidence of a brain, logical thought, and reasonably open mind. Conservative koolaid drinkers need not apply. I need someone smart enough to see through Trump’s charade.

jayda92 · 2021-01-26T12:29:19+00:00

My fiance has a master in economics, social studies and law.

When I was dating, the least I expected was a Bachelor. I've learned that a lot of guys under that level of formal education, can't form coherent sentences and have grammar problems. Language mistakes really turn me off.

frogchickenhorse · 2021-01-27T04:43:23+00:00

Min passed high school or does a trade. I’m a vegetarian so career cannot be slaughtering animals.

I have a bachelor’s and I’m just starting a new diploma

helena939392 · 2021-01-27T14:40:26+00:00

I have a bachelor's degree in CS. Degrees are not too important to me, it doesn't have to be university level but obviously some. More important is to have ambitions and interests in life, and a career that works out well for him, whatever it is. I've met more scrotes with M.Sc than plumbers.

For example, my ex was a pilot and a trainwreck in handling money. He has a crippling student debt of 120k€ and anything he gets as a first officer, he spends. He still owes me money and stole most of my belongings and furniture when I moved out of the country where we lived together. My current boyfriend is a driving teacher and he is the kindest, most generous man I've ever met in my life. And he makes just as much money per year as I do. He's hard working and a lovely, caring man altogether.

she_is_munchkins · 2021-01-27T16:34:31+00:00

Education: some sort of tertiary education is needed (whether it's a degree or technical diploma). I honestly don't see the average person thriving without it.

Career: have a career, not just a job. I need to see forward-thinking and the ability to plan for your life. I've met too many men who are just coasting along in life with no plan.

One of the commenters here mentioned an ex becoming disabled and being dependent on the wife, so another criteria for me is being able to mitigate risks - so basically take up life, disability and critical illness cover. Honestly anything can happen to anyone, just make sure to adequately mitigate risks.

He also needs to have a savings and retirement plan.

devoushka · 2021-01-27T19:51:50+00:00

Career: anything with high earning potential and good work life balance. I don't want an investment banker who works 80 hour weeks but he has to make good money, like $150k+

Education: doesn't matter, but the career requirement necessitates that they have a bachelor's at least.

MomoBalsamina · 2021-01-26T13:13:24+00:00

In my opinion, even not planning to date at the moment, I don't mind which career / education level (within reasonable expectations).

If the career they choose / want to pursue is something unreal, not well planned or doesn't act on it is a no go for me.

About education level, I don't mind about actual titles if they are eager.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-01-27T08:13:26+00:00

He must be upper middle class or richer through education and or inheritance.
I have to be attracted to him
He has to pay fir everything and like it.
He has to be a complete and total gentleman.
I have a 3 strikes per year rule. Fuck ANYTHING up in ANY WAY 3 times in one year and it’s a block. Sometimes I’ve blocked them on the first strike because I just know they won’t make it to the end of the year without screwing up

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2021-01-26T15:35:16+00:00

I don't have one.

I think I could be happy with someone with either a blue collar or white collar job.

pineapple_typhoon · 2021-01-26T21:46:37+00:00

Men going forward must have at least a bachelor's degree and some kind of regular salaried job. It must be a career where there is room for advancement and space for them to find success. Since my career is not super highly paid, they should honestly make more money that me.

He needs to also have some broader interests, music, literature, art, history, science, food even, something more than drinking, playing videogames, or sports.

MrAndMrsCremgroblin · 2021-01-27T14:05:26+00:00

In a relationship now but if I was single; I wouldn’t expect people to have a job (I’m in college so that’s semi common for my peers); but for dating I’d want someone who has actual life plans and goals. I want to either go medical field or full on charity work after college and my boyfriend wants to be an professor so I’d like to be with someone who contributes something to society and is enthusiastic about it. It doesn’t have to be well paying either; I would date a social worker or high school teacher. I would be fine dating someone who makes less then me or not very much as long as they’re stable financially. The big thing to me is just that they contribute to society. I know sales jobs and things like that need to exist, but someone who’s entire career is just to push a product and make money I don’t think I would be compatible with.

Title	standards check: career / education level
Author	notyourbabesry
Upvotes	52
Comments	42
Date	January 26, 2021 12:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l5clph/standards_check_career_education_level/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/standards-check-career-education-level.738860 https://theredarchive.com/post/738860

Comments