The age difference made me cringe, maybe I’m over thinking it ladies. Correct me please. In 10 yrs the age won’t matter.

marilynmonw0e · 2020-10-31T14:47:06+00:00

When I think of age gaps, I always ask myself if I'd date someone who was that much younger. Would you date a 19year old at 26? I personally wouldn't.

Rubs me the wrong way. Men always go after younger women because they're easier to manipulate.

Sage_Planter · 2020-10-31T14:48:13+00:00

DO NOT GET MARRIED AT 19.

Even if you think it's true love, wait until you're at least in your mid-twenties to tie the knot. While FDS traditionally preaches marriage within two years, this rule does not apply to young women. You need more time to figure out who you are and what you want. The right man will support and encourage you as you find your way, learn new things, and make mistake.

Story time! This post reminds me so much of my first serious boyfriend. At our one year anniversary, he was more than ready to propose. The problem was that I was 22 and still figuring out what I wanted, whereas he was 27 and knew exactly what he wanted out of life. I knew that if we married, our life would look a lot like how he envisioned it, and I'd have to fight for what I wanted. Ultimately, I broke up with his shortly after our one year anniversary because I wasn't exactly sure I wanted the life he had planned, and I was willing to risk losing a good man to find my own way. Ten years later, I am so extremely thankful I made that decision. My life has turned out better than I could have ever imagined if I had stayed with him.

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-10-31T14:45:18+00:00

If she says yes, she'll be hearing how indecisive she is for the rest of her life (or his, or until they divorce). It always amazes me how easy it is to notice red flags since I've discovered FDS. We developed some serious analytical skills, ladies.

Pengtingcalledme · 2020-10-31T14:42:34+00:00

Shes indecisive because she young and still figuring herself out! I hope she doesn't say yes because shes still so young.

slythergin23 · 2020-10-31T14:48:54+00:00

tbh the red flag to me is proposing after six damn months and even considering getting married at that age. just hell no. that's basically asking for a disaster.

lhatw · 2020-10-31T15:16:10+00:00

Bruh moment. I dated my 27 year old classmate when I was 19 in uni. He seemed like a nice guy at first and we would study together. Biggest mistake of my life. 🤮. They will manipulate you and make it seem like they’re soooo much wiser because they are older, when in reality women their own age WOULDN’T get anywhere near them.

vitryolic · 2020-10-31T15:23:13+00:00

The rational part of a teen’s brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until age 25 or so.

Marrying before age 25 is a terrible choice, because it’s highly likely as you get older things will change significantly as your brain develops. Marriage after dating for only 6 months is insane too. How does this give enough time to truly know each other. It’s all dopamine and oxytocin, not ‘real love’

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-10-31T15:39:31+00:00

If this is in the state she's not even legal age to drink. But he can deliver her alcohol and get her drunk and rape her. That's pretty typical.

That aside, he's an adult probably with a degree and possibly a career. She's a child who just got a high school last year.

Wow she's 19 and they've dated for a whole 6 months. He's planning his trap. Next will be the "condom break" and unwanted pregnancy, all accidental of course.

Where are this girl's parents???

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-10-31T16:27:04+00:00

“In ten years the age gap won’t matter”

Except it’s NOT 10 years from now, it’s now... When she is a TEENAGER, and her almost thirty year old boyfriend is about to propose to her (after either a year of dating, gotta lock down that teenage pussy before she realizes she can have her own life and do better, or he was dating her when she was a minor). Also side note, I’m 31 and I probably still wouldn’t date someone 7 years older than me, unless he was Mr HVM in every other way (almost 40 is still a pretty big gap when I’m early thirties) and I DEFINITELY wouldn’t date someone 7 years younger than me. 24 year olds are still babies from where I am now.

“She’s one of the most indecisive people I’ve ever met” reeks of childhood dysfunction and a weak sense of self, the exact type that old dudes prey on because they can have all the control in the relationship.

This is disgusting, and I hope to god she says no but she likely won’t. My 29 year old ex-bf proposed to me when I was 19 as a last ditch attempt to reel me back in so he could keep control over me and thank god i said no. If it’s truly a healthy relationship and they’re “meant to be” he shouldn’t have any problem letting her grow up (barf) and individuate before trapping her with a ring but he knows he needs to get on it or he’ll have to go back to trawling high schools for a new date.

myousername · 2020-10-31T15:15:56+00:00

He is 36.8% older than her. Ew.

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2020-10-31T14:49:22+00:00

There is no correction. You’ve got it. Men over 21 have no business dating girls still in their teens. They just don’t. It’s ~~weird~~ predatory. At 19, some girls have only just graduated high school.

What business does a grown man have with a girl who almost certainly doesn’t have any higher education yet, likely still lives with her parents, has less than zero life experience and probably doesn’t have a red cent to her name?

19Bubbles98 · 2020-10-31T15:05:52+00:00

The age difference IS cringe.

fruitbowl_ · 2020-10-31T14:52:09+00:00

Yeah, as someone who dated a 29-year-old when I was 19 and thought he'd be the person I'd marry... this is horrifying.

_xyoungbellax_ · 2020-10-31T15:05:56+00:00

Please don't ever get married so young. As someone coming from a country with a legal age of marriage for women being 18 and child marriages still happening, such marriages are bound to end in disaster. Of course there are exceptions which are few but will you really bet on your entire life to fit in one of those exceptions? She's still a teen who's yet to mature so much and learn about life and men especially. God, this whole situation feels scary. More like he wants to trap her while she's still naive and can't make decisions for herself so that when he definitely pulls LVM shit, she won't know what to do and rather choose to stay. I hope she's smart enough to say NO.

okcool_12 · 2020-10-31T18:02:25+00:00

Good God, 19... i was in my second year of college at that age, had no property to my name, nor any real work experience or life experience, for that matter. She is a literal child.

I got married at 22 and while it panned out OK, it was still way rockier than it should have been. Can hardly imagine 19.

2020-10-31T17:42:01+00:00

the six months time span of dating until proposal is kinda already alarming no matter how old you are. I’m 20 so I can’t wrap my head around being married now. I just hope she realises she needs time to figure things out and also to develop herself properly. I worry about these situations developing into a breaking mom situation when they are older and still married

rinabean · 2020-10-31T23:42:21+00:00

The age gap would be bad enough at 20 and 27 but she's literally a teenager

respect that cringe, that was your intuition.

galvanicreaction · 2020-10-31T18:32:29+00:00

Although the age difference is very definitely concerning, I'm more worried about the incredibly short time they've been dating. Impulse control problems much?

Put the two together and it sounds like a proposal from a young guy getting ready to go into basic training.

Lavender_flow · 2020-11-01T01:14:06+00:00

I would never dream of dating a 20 year old. So no. It is not normal. These people have issues

Lttlemrsb · 2020-10-31T20:30:39+00:00

It’s not just the age difference that bothers me. They have only been together for 6 months! It takes around years to really get to know someone, and that’s aside from how much people change in their early 20’s.

ComprehensiveCatch46 · 2020-11-01T03:20:26+00:00

The age difference doesn’t bother me but the time frame of the relationship warrants some introspection from the parties involved. Some women do know what they want at that age but there’s still learning & growing to be done and there is no rush. Six months seems a bit soon.

Title	The age difference made me cringe, maybe I’m over thinking it ladies. Correct me please. In 10 yrs the age won’t matter.
Author	saragc92
Upvotes	103
Comments	60
Date	October 31, 2020 2:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jljgoz/the_age_difference_made_me_cringe_maybe_im_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-age-difference-made-me-cringe-maybe-im-over.325385 https://theredarchive.com/post/325385

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