I wanted to share some tips as to some of the seemingly honest and innocent things that we say that often get misconstrued sending men the wrong messages. these have been all from my actual experiences. avoid putting these types of things in OLD bios or saying these types of things especially during the early phases of dating:

- "I love cooking /baking" a lot of LVM will mistake you as someone they think will be eager to make them hot meals, and want you to do all the cooking since you "love" it. they wont want to raise a finger to even help.

- "I'm a huge nerd. I'm a geek!" it doesn't matter what your "nerdy/geeky" interests are, LVMs will automatically associate a geek or nerd as being someone that is also just as lazy and obsessed with video games as they are. they'll want date night to be sitting together inside all the time and you play the video games they like.

"I enjoy anime, my favorites are..." - be careful with this because some LVMs are hardcore obsessed with anime and have crossed over into being pornsick with watching hentai. even in regular anime, hardcore anime loving LVMs watch a lot of mysoginistic anime where the women are shown as hyper sexualized pickmes that cheer on the men no matter what. anime obsessed guys that I have known were the worst LVMs by far, grossest, nastiest, worst tempers, and very unpredictably violent and abusive.

cosplays / attending Cons: this piggybacks off the "nerdy" thing but please do NOT specifically mention that you cosplay off the bat. the mega LVMs feti1hi$e and pervert that, stemming off their own pornsickness. what you see as a fun event with friends, celebrating a story line you really love, and the fun and challenge of making that costume they see as a walking sex doll. many of these guys are abusive. the only one I met that wasn't abusive was trying to cheat on his wife with me.

"I love decorating/ I'm super clean and organized/cleaning is therapeutic for me," - lvm will see these things and then expect you to be their interior designer and maid and exploit you. no need to tell him off the bat like my roommate did "I'm so OCD I just have to organize and arrange stuff by size and color, I do it all the time for people."

-side hustles or small businesses: I got my LLC and have a small business. do not even bring it up. LVM hate it and will want to Neg or "educate" you on it. or they will flood you with questions so they can try learning how to make a buck for free from you. it's not worth your time and money to teach a man what you worked at to figure out.

advertising your mental health / traumas /health issues - it's valid and this isn't about the stigma, but rather that LVMs could use the fact that you have anxiety or PTSD etc as a weapon against you.

"I go to *specific place* or I volunteer at *specific place* often" - there is no need to let them know the spots you frequent in detail like that. you don't want them targeting you especially if it goes sour. rather than saying I walk my dog all the time in Central Park, you could instead say "my dog does look forward to our walks, he's a good boy."

watch how much personal info you give them - especially if you're doing OLD (not recommended btw) if you live in a really small town its better to say you "live near *big city*" instead. as far as your job, say something like "I work as a nurse" rather than saying "I'm a nurse practitioner at *name of specific hospital" maybe you are a teacher you could just say a very general answer "I work in education". no need to ever mention your car's make and model, your apartment complex, etc.

family details - for example my dad is a deadbeat dad. I have been to a lot of therapy over that and hung around with my grandparents instead. in the early phases, I would just vaguely about my family when it came up, including the deadbeat. I never specifically stated the situation, just left it vague and often changed the subject. only guys that ended up being long term relationships met my family learned more.

keep your social media to yourself - do not give it out to them, have privacy settings, do not add them. if they ask just say you don't have or use one. you can creep on his, but if you use any, keep them private and to yourself.

REMINDER: I am emphasizing that these are things to avoid on OLD and early dates, once you have done more thorough vetting and have been dating longer you can slowly start opening up, but tread slowly and with caution. you dont need to be telling your boyfriend how a car accident during middle school gave you PTSD for all of 7th grade. you don't need to tell him how hard/financially stressful a divorce was for you during childhood and on your parents. he also doesn't need to know that you love cooking so much you takeover cooking majority of the dishes for your mom's thanksgiving.