This is why we don't let men post on this subreddit. We don't want to clutter our feed with a bunch of sea lions DEMANDING that we drop everything to engage in "civil discussion"

myousername · 2020-10-13T23:26:15+00:00

Sealioning (also spelled sea-lioning and sea lioning) is a type of trolling or harassment which consists of pursuing people with persistent requests for evidence or repeated questions, while maintaining a pretense of civility and sincerity. It may take the form of "incessant, bad-faith invitations to engage in debate".

The troll feigns ignorance and politeness, so that if the target is provoked into making an angry response, the troll can then act as the aggrieved party.

Rhetorically, sealioning fuses persistent questioning—often about basic information, information easily found elsewhere, or unrelated or tangential points—with a loudly-insisted-upon commitment to reasonable debate. It disguises itself as a sincere attempt to learn and communicate. Sealioning thus works both to exhaust a target's patience, attention, and communicative effort, and to portray the target as unreasonable. While the questions of the "sea lion" may seem innocent, they're intended maliciously and have harmful consequences.

— Amy Johnson, Berkman Klein Center for Internet & Society (May 2019)

Sealioning can be effective at disrupting regular conversation in an online community and create polarization. At times, a troll asks suggestive or misleading questions to lead the target to spend their energy in providing lengthy explanations.

VelvetKnuckleduster · 2020-10-13T23:50:04+00:00

Even if they're not trying to suck you in to bad-faith arguments, men need to input their opinion everywhere. Even in topics they don't know about. Even responding to questions that specifically asked for women's opinions or experiences. They unfailingly begin to drown out women's voices in any women's space they're allowed into, and their posts always get pushed to the top.

Women need places where we can speak to each other about our thoughts and opinions and experiences without men butting in because they think someone asked them, and we need to defend every inch of those places like a WWI trench.

furstlast390 · 2020-10-14T00:05:55+00:00

Thank God we have a space for women only. Imagine what this sub would look like if men were allowed to interject their opinions. Actually, it would just look like the rest of Reddit. Any female-centered sub on here is run by men, and every time a woman has a concern, there are always men invalidating her. Even the more “progressive” “leftist” subreddits still have men saying stuff like “oh, don’t get offended, it’s not that big of a deal” or constantly pivoting to men’s issues. I hate to say this as a progressive, but many progressive feminist men are still quite misogynistic and speak over women. That’s why even if they claim to have good intentions and believe in women’s rights, they are still not always allies and should not be welcome in female-only subs like FDS.

Meredeen · 2020-10-14T00:33:48+00:00

[deleted]

AyemHerself · 2020-10-14T01:25:30+00:00

Guys who try to post here invariably fall into one of three categories:

Sea lions as you describe

Hostile trolls

"Allies" desperate to be "one of the good ones" and deserving of praise.

This is why men don't belong here.

2020-10-14T00:27:15+00:00

It's either straight up harassing, sea lioning, spilling their emotional issues everywhere and expecting women to soothe him (and if we don't we're cold hearted rude bitches), or just repeating the post in different words to seem like a "not like other men" man.

Once you let men in they flood a place with low brow humor, incel stuff, pornography, and erase any and all thoughtful conversation.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-10-14T04:03:23+00:00

There was a childfree thread in which a woman said, "I could be a dad, but but I don't wanna be a mother. " In other words, gestating, giving birth, nursing then taking care of the baby 90 percent of the time while letting your professional career suffer is unfair.

All these guys bumrushed into the thread and demanded to be made the center of concern in this topic. First off, the OP was addressing women. Secondly, none of these guys will ever give birth, nurse or be made to feel guilty if they go back to work after the child is born.

But they demanded to be centered. Some claimed to know fathers who take care of the children equally (bullshit). They got mad at the truth...women take care of children more, and sacrifice more in a socio-economic way. The hissy fits from men were unreal.

Summerisle7 · 2020-10-13T23:24:40+00:00

This is hilarious. I love sea lions irl though, they're a good animal

Sage_Planter · 2020-10-13T23:42:34+00:00

Love this comic.

Also, I very much appreciate this is a safe space for women. A big thanks to the mods who make that happen.

myousername · 2020-10-14T01:09:25+00:00

[deleted]

BellaMob · 2020-10-14T03:36:05+00:00

TwoXChromosomes was ruined because of sealioning pretty much

yfunk3 · 2020-10-14T05:38:47+00:00

I also hate how a lot of men use the argument of "but how are we supposed to learn and be on your side if you won't even let us engage?" I'm not your personal tutor or mother. You're supposed to already know how to treat women like decent human beings. But you don't, and the onus is not on women to teach you how. If you can't learn on your own, you're not really learning anything you should be learning. You're just learning how to fake it so you can manipulate your way into getting women to like you. Eventually, the mask will slip.

2020-10-14T00:30:29+00:00

Every single community has the right to exist for the benefit of the members only and without external opinions, when it comes to women though, a sudden exception to the rule...

ASeaOfQuotes · 2020-10-14T01:40:01+00:00

This is exactly why the number one strategy to avoid being baited into these pointless "debates" is to simply ignore the sealion. If they really want the answer they can do their own research, but sadly it's more about bad faith acting because the only thing they understand is their own echo chamber.

2020-10-13T23:21:29+00:00

I like this and your username

OrangeyPanda · 2020-10-14T00:35:09+00:00

Just saw a different comic on sea lioning today. I like this one too!

mrCNeverSleeping · 2020-10-14T00:25:14+00:00

Best ever.

juliet-elia · 2020-10-14T07:52:39+00:00

I will not engage a discussion on topics like feminism or violence against women in my only safe space where I can talk to other women about their experiences and tips on how to avoid aggressive or abusive men, only to be interrupted by a man to whom my struggles and experiences are rare or only hypothetical. There are enough spaces out there to do so. There is also an all male space where men can exchange their struggles and I respect that and leave them alone. Why is this concept so hard to grasp? Let women talk.

jayohday · 2020-10-14T04:31:15+00:00

Ugh new favorite comic strip!

2020-10-14T10:27:37+00:00

I get off on DESTROYING people with FACTS and LOGIC so idc if a man wants to try this bc I don’t make claims I can’t verify. I just don’t want them here because they have less motivation to be constructive than other women and any insight a man could give on pro-women gender relations could be given by a woman and then some. 🤷🏻‍♀️

sashazulu · 2020-10-14T12:30:11+00:00

I seriously laughed out loud and am still dying . So true thank you mods for all the work that goes into keeping them tf off here.

sashazulu · 2020-10-14T12:32:48+00:00

I literally laughed out loud and I am still dying . Thank you mods for all the work that goes into keeping sea Lions off the sub!

2020-10-14T14:54:19+00:00

I don't debate with them. It's a waste of time.

iaintgonnacallyou · 2020-10-14T18:04:03+00:00

Reading this actually pissed me off because it’s so fucking accurate!!!

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Title	This is why we don't let men post on this subreddit. We don't want to clutter our feed with a bunch of sea lions DEMANDING that we drop everything to engage in "civil discussion"
Author	myousername
Upvotes	665
Comments	74
Date	October 13, 2020 11:18 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jaox97/this_is_why_we_dont_let_men_post_on_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-is-why-we-dont-let-men-post-on-this-subreddit.321880 https://theredarchive.com/post/321880

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