Being single

Wolffsrain · 2021-12-28T23:33:41+00:00

Currently I'm single and loving it. But honestly I would like to have a relationship, sometimes.

SoloDaKid · 2021-12-28T23:38:58+00:00

I think it depends on where you are in life. I had a pretty serious relationship in my early 20's and looking back I am very thankful to have had the person in my life at the time.

Now in my early 30's we're still cool but not anywhere as close. We both have our own things going on in life that keeps us busy. I can't imagine getting serious with anyone in the near future.

All that being said I think a lot of people settle down because they think it's something that's expected of them. None of the seemingly happy couples I see on social media ever work out. All that being said I'm not against settling down, if it happens great and if not that's fine to!

yoitsericc · 2021-12-29T03:48:04+00:00

Every time I think it's better to get married, I start reading fds and am glad I'm not with any of those women.

tenchineuro · 2021-12-28T23:34:54+00:00

I think it all depends on the woman you are with.

As far as marriage pressure, I was never really pressured to get married and have kids though. I guess it can depend on what your cultural background is.

oafsalot · 2021-12-28T23:47:19+00:00

Yes to all three. I really don't have time for a partner and I can not imagine one would be worth the trouble to find, assuming I'd ever find one that would put up with me, which I doubt because I'm fucking off the scale weird.

xTheVyrusx · 2021-12-29T04:01:52+00:00

It depends on the man, men historically don’t need to be married or in a relationship and can live out there lives single to the end we don’t need consistent validation and attention. Fast forward to today where social media and other forms of “entertainment” guide men into think they need to be in a relationship to boost their social life and be happy. Scroll through your social media feed and you’ll see it. Society likes to label us as selfish or any other form or slander and degrading talk to make us feel bad about it. If we’re not married by the age of 30 “something is wrong” and people harp on it. In reality many have seen how men are treated from false allegations, divorce and losing it all, to having to pay child support in a good marriage with no wrong doing because their wife or girlfriend “doesn’t know what they want anymore” as a result they grow up and decide they don’t want to date.

eddboat112 · 2021-12-29T04:59:56+00:00

Being single is lonely. Being in a relationship is stressful. Its a pick-your-poison type of thing. Personally, i want to get married one day and start a family, i think itd be worth the stress.

Also, you can have shitty finances while single, and great finances while in a relationship, it all depends on how you manage your money.

Sun-Kizzed · 2021-12-29T10:18:50+00:00

As a woman, I’ve noticed many men seem to not like that they have to be the provider to women’s shopping ( rightfully so ). My husband and I enjoy doing things that are free and we’re still happy on and it’s so nice! Picnics, walks, hiking, etc… I wish women and some men didn’t have the mindset that the male partner needs to shop and financially provide for the women. It should not be mandatory and women should not be expecting them to do it.

Jimmy5772 · 2021-12-29T02:16:22+00:00

I’ve loved being single, but am now in a relationship which I’m finding difficult.

As for marriage, I think there’s massive social pressure on it. Where I live anyway.

KingWhoCared86 · 2021-12-29T01:29:16+00:00

I’ve someone that’s always wants a relationship but generally hates being in one. So being single is more simpler to manage.

Sunagwa · 2021-12-29T02:01:20+00:00

Depends on the person. I'd love to have a partner in life and although I don't think it's practical given the challenges I'd be facing as a man; I'm both keeping my heart open while also preparing myself for the likely outcome of being single until the end.

More simply I'd prefer to not be single but I'll be perfectly happy either way. Being single brings many of it's own comforts.

Silentpoolman · 2021-12-29T02:50:36+00:00

I love being single for the most part. Still sucks when you meet someone and you start to think and hope that things will finally work out for once, though. Cause that never happens.

JustSomeYukoner · 2021-12-29T03:12:32+00:00

I would personally rather be in a relationship with a woman who isn’t a total nutcase, but that’s just me.

TAPriceCTR · 2021-12-29T08:45:05+00:00

financially and physically better... but humans are programmed to pair bond so going MGTOW is definitely emotionally damaging... it may be less damaging than any relationships available to a given man, but it is damaging.

BitterFrizby · 2021-12-28T23:09:06+00:00

Yes, I believe there is still an expectation to get married. To me it was the natural evolution of our relationship and a necessary milestone that I had to reach.

Currently I do not regret it.

awsdlefthandbutton · 2021-12-29T00:49:07+00:00

Being single is f'ing awesome.

tipying_mistakes · 2021-12-29T05:54:06+00:00

Although being single can be quite lonely for me personally, I feel it’s better than the risk of having to deal with trouble from someone who I thought would be right for me but just isn’t

I’d love to have the perfect relationship with the perfect person, but that is quite impossible, and with such risks I don’t believe it is worth it, so I resort to staying single forever, because I’m better off not having the burden of responsibility towards another person, and also because I should not require the support of another person to be successful.

PapaMartini · 2021-12-29T09:09:37+00:00

Personally I have been single for the past 4 years for a reason. I was working full time and going to school full time. I was saving a lot of money and the time I did have I spent on my hobbies and with my boys. A lot of friends joked around that I was afraid of women but I didn't care. I kept working, studying and saving. It allowed me to buy my house in April at 21 (I'm in the Midwest so cot of living is lower). I'm 22 now with a house, a degree and a steady job. I missed out on some fun for sure but now I'm of the mindset that if I find someone to be in a relationship with. Cool. If not I'll keep on living. I personally will always advocate being single while getting your life together. It helps relieve the stress with hobbies, you don't have to deal with the bullshit you can find in relationships and you have significantly more financial freedom to set up the rest of your life. There is always the pressure from friends and family to find someone. That will never go away. But taking time to focus on myself made my life significantly better.
Thanks for listening to my Ted talk lol

LW_YT · 2021-12-29T11:15:27+00:00

I enjoy being single, I have a female best friend that would do ANYTHING for me but doesn't stress me out like a girlfriend would do.

legend0102 · 2021-12-29T06:26:46+00:00

Honestly loneliness and not enjoying life can be painful and later on fill you with regret.

As a 26 year old man who has never had a girlfriend or hook ups, I want them now. I realized that I’m not gonna be young forever and I have to enjoy while I can. I don’t really care anymore about the woman herself, but more about the pleasure they can give me. It’s easier that way.

Afr0Magus · 2021-12-29T07:26:31+00:00

Being single is very peaceful and liberating.

MeanCare6744 · 2021-12-29T00:41:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

EgalitarianFacts2 · 2021-12-29T03:43:34+00:00

I'm married, just not to a western man-hater. It's BLISS.

AndyCalling · 2021-12-29T01:04:09+00:00

Relationships are fine, whether same or different sex. However I would go by the 3 key rules:

1) Don't move in together

2) Don't get married

3) Always use a condom

Result? Happy relationships. Happy life. Great finances.

monoculos · 2021-12-29T07:49:10+00:00

In our twenties or even thirties is cool to be single but now I am in my late forties and I feel dead lonely. Old friends are busy with their families, new friends are few, dating is rare and usually unsatisfactory. Honestly I regret not building a family when I had the chance with a couple of gfs in my thirties. Do you men in your late forties feel happy being single?

ImpossibleAir4310 · 2021-12-29T08:00:47+00:00

Yes, practically and pragmatically there are good reasons to stay out of one. But life can feel empty too. If you’re in a situation where you need to be able to take financial risks and want to limit the effects to just yourself, if you’re very busy or traveling a lot, if you’re uncertain about your employment or education opportunities and need to make big life choices without the need to compromise, etc. Of course there are relationships in which both parties pay their equal share, but even outside of finances and in the most flexible of scenarios you are trading a certain amount of freedom for something else.

At this point in my life I wouldn’t mind settling down, but I’m not settling FOR anything; if I stay single bc the right women never comes along, so be it. I never would have gotten anywhere close to here without intentionally staying single a lot of the way.

Philosophipster · 2021-12-29T10:06:50+00:00

Children are just a form of legacy to me. If you have that need, go have kids or build a fortune 500 company. Just dont expect the marriage to last. Focus on being a parent.

If you want play a “dad” role bit of disseminating knowledge without a woman, adopt. Alternatively become a teacher, does the same thing but for the world instead of just yourself.

Money is always better alone, hands down lower expenses and better spending pattern.

Love is a tricky question. The greek had 5 or so terms for love. Friendship, brotherhood, erotic love, romantic love, etc. Get whichever you need most, the rest can be done on the side. Self love also being among the top 3 tbh.

I mostly keep busy with leaving a mark on the world. Mix that up with laying on a beach, playing videogames and banging plates. Perfect life, for me 💪

ABeeBox · 2021-12-29T11:04:09+00:00

Currently in a relationship and for the first time I'm happy to be one. One year strong and it's my 4th relationship and genuinely feels like there's a connection.

DarthCallidous · 2021-12-29T11:36:20+00:00

Absolutely yes! Being single is awesome! I've been single for 3 years, and I've been far less stressed than when I was in any relationship.

watdoeik · 2021-12-29T15:38:14+00:00

Better? Difficult to say. I am married and I am happy. There is mutual respect and both enjoy life. We have a number of dreams we share. Sure we argue about one or more things but by being respectful, you should be okay.

Before I got married I was for a long time single. Never a dull moment, to be honest.

I guess it depends on the expectations. Yours and hers.

Unlikely-Switch719 · 2021-12-29T00:14:39+00:00

It’s ok being single and I have no problem being alone but it’s the loneliness that eats away at my soul at times

Kaylarmagic · 2021-12-29T01:47:23+00:00

As a woman, I'm sad to see the comments on this thread.
I hope those who want a relationship can find one with a good person.

NinjaSultan · 2021-12-29T08:55:47+00:00

If you know that a game is rigged against you, and then go ahead and play the game anyway, then that's nobody's fault but yours. Stay single, stay happy. The modern world has a million other ways to keep you occupied.

ShiZniT3 · 2021-12-29T07:48:09+00:00

ive never seen a benefit to not being single, other than the possibility of children, but seeing as they are viewed by many females as leeches, tumors, parasites, etc... to be aborted. not much benefit there either. couldnt care less.

Iceman_Hottie · 2021-12-29T08:20:15+00:00

A lot of this depends on who you are, what you want in life, etc.

I'm the kind of guy who wants a family and kids, but currently not in a place where I want to date (need to sort out a postdoc; deal with some mental health issues, so it's not too much baggage in my next relationship). Currently I'm trying to figure out what to look for and how to avoid the mistakes I made.

In terms of pressure, it's there culturally (due to the way I was raised), societally (most of my former class mates are married) and sometimes personal (directly from someone I'm talking with).

It is not easy to deal with it, but a lot of it is the same oversimplified worldview that disregards a lot of the crucial details that make all the difference. Kind of like a different flavour of the things I point out about philosophy/political philosophy (eg. why every left-wing philosophy is incapable of leading to long-term good things at a societal scale).

jmbrigadier · 2021-12-29T08:25:44+00:00

I think it's better to be single for me right now. Divorce was one year and three months ago. I am still processing this drama. I am in the integration phase before the last one, which is rebuilding phase. During that phase I perfectly know I should avoid engage with a woman as I am still hurt and destroyed and not fully back on my two legs.

So yes it's refreshing to be single right now. Financially, I would say yes that's right, emotionally as I am not available yes too. And physically, I have never practiced so much sports or hobbies than right now.

I am french and I live in a rural place. There are not a lot of single women in my age range. This tends to worry me a little bit for my future. And in the same time, I am enjoying more and more my new drama free life. On my 8 male friends, that are all married, only 2 of them live a happy marriage.

Hamza2698 · 2021-12-29T11:07:15+00:00

Honestly, yes. With the current Economic situation especially in my country I cannot afford an SO. Plus one tends to be more independent and peaceful as their no nagging

Sure there's sometimes a desire for intercourse but it's not really that high

Henchforhire · 2021-12-29T12:21:56+00:00

I like being single I have my checkbook built up and can enjoy doing hobbies and work on small engines in the living room and no stress that comes with dating. Bonus my place is clean and I know where everything is.

darksideofthemoon131 · 2021-12-29T13:22:09+00:00

I like being single, but I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not lonely. I'm also not going to get into a relationship with anyone because I'm lonely. I need more substance besides loneliness to go further.

Do I feel pressure? Yes. Societal norms aren't my cuppa tea however and I'd rather strive for my own happiness than others expectations. I'm 43 and have 0 debt beyond my monthly bills. I've got money in bank and a bit of freedom to do things when I want. I wanna find a partner in a similar situation- I don't want to take care of someone and I don't want to be taken care of. That's not easy these days, but I'm not gonna compromise.

tenchineuro · 2021-12-29T14:43:44+00:00

How many men think it's better being single? Is it good financially, emotionally and physically? I think yes to all 3 of them. Is there still pressure for men to marry?

Well, I'm married and have been for 21 years and we have 3 children.

In some ways it's been a bumpy ride, but it's much better than when I was single.

There's more sex for starters. But humans need touch and companionship and I get that every night even when the red flag is up. Humans (men and women) need companionship, and even men and women who are successful in the hookup culture don't really get that.

That being said, marriage is very dangerous for men and they can lose everything if their wife has a change of heart. So my fate is not yet sealed.

Warder766312 · 2021-12-29T15:53:35+00:00

Dear god yes. I drifted from fiancée to fiancée after each one cheated. After the 7th, I was suicidal. My male friends helped me through it. Now 5 of us live on land outside of the city just being the bros we’ve been for the last 22 years. I’ve never been happier, there’s no drama, no nitpicking, no gaslighting or anything. I became better financially, emotionally and physically. Gave some of the weight back during the pandemic but I’m losing it again.

Jonesw16 · 2021-12-29T15:59:20+00:00

The only reason I sometimes enjoy the idea of being with a woman is because my biological desires for connection are hardwired into me, I would remove them if I could.

MRA_TitleIX · 2021-12-29T17:21:51+00:00

It has its pros and cons. For me, the big things are personal time and my own physical space. In previous relationships I often felt like I was losing that, but couldn't really put it into words correctly at the time.

It's okay to have relationship standards and needs regarding time and personal space, but it needs to be communicated effectively and respected by both people.

Finding the right partner who shares similar needs for space and personal time is important.

While the "man cave" gets a lot of flack there is something about the concept worth salvaging. Some people need their own "space" in a house where the cleaning / organization etc are entirely on them. That can be really healthy for people who like more personal time / space in a relationship. If only one partner needs it and they are a man society calls it a "man cave." The only thing toxic is when we assume that is because the rest of everything is at the whim of the partner; this is the real issue with a "man cave". It's totally fine if the rest of the space is still joint space.

My partner and I both have spaces in the house that are dedicated to each of us and it helps a lot. These spaces aren't private, but they are personal. The rest of space is communal and is taken care of as a joint responsibility.

jarmbur · 2021-12-29T21:42:17+00:00

A little bit of wisdom from the bible...

"The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD." Proverbs 18:22

"Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”" Genesis 2:18

That being said, there are pros and cons to everything. In the end, it comes down to what you want from life and what your willing to do to get it.

In my mind, love is the best thing in the universe and there's nothing better than loving and being loved by someone special.

I pray everyone who reads this finds happiness, peace, and love, in Jesus name amen.

throwaway0823700 · 2021-12-29T01:15:42+00:00

In my view, this is a defensive reaction to the real problem, which is how pained forming and maintaining relationships has become. You can do what you will with the construct of marriage, but it's in the natural order of things for men to seek companionship and families. The single lifestyle won't be so glamorous in old age.

Revolutionary_Ear_22 · 2021-12-29T01:25:39+00:00

I personally want to get married

Algiz56 · 2021-12-29T08:51:02+00:00

Depends on what type of single and comparing to what.

Is being single better, than random hookups and having affairs? Yes.

Is being single better, than happy marriage? No.

Nitronuudel · 2021-12-29T01:22:14+00:00

It’s heart-brokening to hear how women are viewed as money-eating heartless people and that it’s easier to be alone. I mean, where are you all from, where women are so soulless? I’m really confused.

CookieMittenKitten · 2021-12-29T01:48:44+00:00

Not yet 18, no way but I’ve already chose this.

reddut_gang · 2021-12-29T05:24:55+00:00

Depends on what you value in life the most. I'd say no pressure if you don't want to. It's your choice to do what makes you happy.

OpinionatedDad · 2021-12-29T12:21:33+00:00

It's better for individual people not all. Personally it's way better financially to be with someone. But emotionally it can be worse.

heeroena · 2021-12-29T13:35:31+00:00

there are moments when i feel like I want to have a woman in my life but then I rub one out and that post-nut clarity kicks in. also too many horror stories out there are very dis-incentivizing

benderXX · 2021-12-29T14:59:43+00:00

With a partner. I mostly love it but we both agree we need space apart which is healthy. Both realities are normal.

DutchOnionKnight · 2021-12-29T15:16:51+00:00

I am in a process to acceptation for being single for a long time, perhaps the rest of my life. I came out of a toxic relationship at my 27th. So for the last 2 years I went from date to date. Put myself in so much stress to find a right woman, most of the time after the first date (which I often paid), I've got within 12 hours a text that she didn't felt any romantic spark, or something like that. As you can really know somebody after just 1 date. But now, my wallet is growing, I am emotionally more stable and as a triathlete I can put my body more to rest with the right nutrition aswell.Besides that, marriage is a very high risk for a man in 2021. When a woman decides she is fed up with you, she just takes half of your belongings and treat you without any respect. Often the man is being put as the one to blame. And when you have children.... Ohhhh boy, your life is just ruined. Study shows, half of the marriages end up in divorce and (I believe) 80% is initiated by women. So, for me... no thank you.

Numerous1 · 2021-12-29T16:50:40+00:00

Life changes, I change. When I was younger I was 100% fine being single for long stretches of time because I had tons of friends and such. As I got older two things changed, my personal enjoyment in the single life wasn’t as high and my friends started getting busy, moving farther away, etc.

I know that not everybody is this way but while financially I struggle more, that’s only because we had children. Before children we made the same amount of money and were able to live a well-off lifestyle.

Emotionally and physically? I love being married and a dad. I don’t get to do the same activities I used to when single, due to time and responsibilities, but I still love it.

I really think it’s a combination of your mindset and the right partner.

KissMyAsthma-99 · 2021-12-29T19:20:50+00:00

No. Single was miserable. Relationship is way better for me.

Apprehensive-Hat-494 · 2021-12-29T19:35:56+00:00

How is it good financially?

Drayenn · 2021-12-29T20:34:08+00:00

I dont think its possible to be better off financially single unless youre talking being the sole provider of the family. Splitting bills is a powerful way to save cash.

roquetobt · 2021-12-29T20:35:19+00:00

I'm in a relationship and I love it. She's super understanding and I can talk about anything and feel things like a proper human being without it being a problem. But I often consider how impossible it'd be to find something like this again if for some reason it were to go wrong.

Fadi13 · 2021-12-29T23:25:37+00:00

Everything is good as long as you don't mate with toxic gold digger, evade anyone who wants you to "contribute"

JYoungSocial · 2021-12-30T01:52:02+00:00

I'm single. I have a deep sense of life satisfaction and peace in my home.

I would love to be in a great relationship but only if I can get an equal amount of deep life satisfaction and peace in my home.

thelawlessatlas · 2021-12-29T07:10:47+00:00

I'm a woman and I feel bad for those who think "yes" to any of the three. You haven't met the right women.

Title	Being single
Author	silverpuppers
Upvotes	163
Comments	145
Date	December 28, 2021 10:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/rqrz81/being_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/being-single.1090188 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090188

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