Dear MensRights

zaydoc · 2012-01-17T06:58:24+00:00

Did she go to the police or did she simply spread the lie amongst your circle of friends?

Because something similar happened to me when I was 16. An ex girlfriend went around telling everyone that I raped her, but she never went to the police or anything like that. She eventually admitted to everyone that she lied, but I still went through hell for about a month. Got my ass kicked as a result, as well.

The worst part is that no one seemed to care when she admitted that she lied. They weren't angry with her or anything, and hardly anyone made an effort to apologize for the way they had judged me earlier.

It was the worst experience of my life by far, and it was definitely the impetus for my involvement with the MRM. Women shouldn't have the power to destroy men's lives like this. No one should.

7oby · 2012-01-17T06:11:03+00:00

After checking your comments to see if you are trying to troll, I found out you are being serious, and are only 15. This is a horrible story to hear, and I pains me to hear that you have gone through this. Nobody should be subjected to that, especially not someone as young as you (although I'm not much older, only 18 here.) If you don't want to relive anything just say you don't, I will completely understand, but I would just like to ask how it turned out? Were you in fact proven innocent? And was there any repercussion towards her? Once again, if you don't want to relive this just tell me.

gigabein · 2012-01-17T06:09:42+00:00

Did the women who 'turned on you' know the alleged 'victim'?

I just can't fathom why they would walk away from you otherwise.

littleelf · 2012-01-17T14:26:48+00:00

We need to start our own ad campaign, "When my friend was falsely accused of rape, I didn't immediately assume he was guilty. My brain is not for stupid."

cuteman · 2012-01-17T08:44:18+00:00

The deceased Michael Jackson said it best ironically ; "be careful what you do, or a lie can become the truth".

Older people will chalk up some of your intensity when you are younger to hormones, and I remember how strongly I felt about certain people and especially females in my past. The weird thing is you learn to control that to serve you and not you running around trying to satiate these wants and desires.

Other best advice I can give you is to always wear a condom. Women seem to always get the benefit of the doubt, it's up to you to properly protect yourself. Decades ago the genders seem to have been switched in that regard but you must adapt to it in order to survive.

Ninjalicious · 2012-01-17T15:20:01+00:00

You are my brother, and you have my support. Stay strong dude.

SRS_BondedInButthurt · 2012-01-17T16:31:39+00:00

Thank God for DNA testing, because for 20 years prior to that, feminists had a lot of people convinced that women simply did not lie about rape, for any reason, EVER. Didn't happen. To say otherwise was to be a woman hating troglodyte.

After enough cases of wrongful accusation came to light through science, there has been a slight shift in average people who blindly believe word of mouth accusations. But then again, after the Obama administration's "Dear Colleague" memo, where in practice her word is now the legal standard for proof in sexual assault cases on campus, one has to wonder why liberal nutters are kicking and screaming to codify outdated 20th century ideas in modern law.

Rozeline · 2012-01-17T19:21:23+00:00

I'm very sorry about what happened to you. I can't help but hope she gets whats coming to her. Maybe in the form being mauled by something. Or maybe something to do with a car...

This reminds me very much of a situation one of my friends went through in high school. There was a girl who desperately wanted to be friends with my social group, but she tried to go about this by getting us to turn on people within our circle. So one of her last attempts to do so was to go to the principal and say that one of my male friends sexually assaulted me by grabbing my breasts. So the principal calls me and a few of my friends into his office and asks if it was true. All my friends deny it. I deny it. But he apparently didn't believe me the 'victim'. While we were leaving his office, the accuser said something along the lines of hating black men (which my friend was) and I immediately went back into his office to tell him that. All of my girl friends ended up being called into the office repeatedly about the incident and all of us told the truth, that he didn't do anything. But it didn't matter. They sent him to the alternative school for six months. So apparently, even if 6 other women are defending a man, even the alleged victim, it doesn't matter. Apparently if one evil, racist bitch decides to accuse him, he's screwed. But I think I was at least able to prevent him from getting expelled. It was pretty difficult, because the principal asked me questions in such a way to try to lead me to saying he was guilty and just generally asking questions in a confusing way. But, if it makes a difference, we made her pretty miserable for it. We told everyone that she was racist and a liar and told her she was sub-human. We kind of bullied her to the point where she dropped out. I don't feel bad about it, because she deserved it. I think she became a prostitute.

DuchessofYanks · 2012-01-17T16:17:19+00:00

As a woman, I feel almost a need to apologize for the actions of these other women. I've stood up for men when they've been accused of things like this and have been chastised and bullied for doing so. You're absolutely right, it only takes one person to make an accusation and the rest fall in line. I realize that there are some women who don't act like this but unfortunately the vast majority do. I'm truly sorry you have to deal with crap like this and that people are so quick to throw you under the bus. It's not fair and it shouldn't be tolerated. Just know that you have the support of MensRights.

On a related note, have you thought about filing a defamation suit?

RoundSparrow · 2012-01-17T14:46:15+00:00

You may find this book interesting...

http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Difference-Female-Brains-Autism/dp/046500556X

Sacoud · 2012-01-17T17:04:45+00:00

When I was 15 one of my friends was falsely accused of this and I didn't stick up for him purely because I didn't know what to do. It haunts me to this day that I didn't help him. In time they may realise what a bitch they've been.

SETHW · 2012-01-17T14:57:02+00:00

Women judge Men as rapists until proven innocent.

bullshit, even with proof of innocence they'll still treat you as if you raped someone because they had x many weeks/months of believing it already.

photogrl88 · 2012-01-17T21:04:53+00:00

Women judge Men as rapists until proven innocent.

I'm sorry that you were falsely accused, but it's not going to do any good to stereotype 50% of the worlds population. I've never known any woman that would be so ignorant as to hold the mindset of 'guilty until proven innocent.' It's shitty that you had poeple like this in your life.

I've been emotionally and physically abused by every boyfriend I had between the ages of 16-20, been sexually assaulted twice, was beaten by my brother at a young age, get 'cat-called' in my neighborhood on a daily basis, and just yesterday I was harassed in the grocery store by an older man (thankfully a security guard noticed what was going on and kicked him out of the store). The point is, while these types of scars take time to heal, I could never categorize all men as being monsters.. and I have always learned (in my own way) to trust again and to have healthy relationships.

I hope that you are surrounded by better women in your future, and I hope this experience doesn't make you bitter towards future relationships (especially ones with women). You're very young, so you have a long life ahead of you to experience great things.

Grapeban · 2012-01-17T16:34:00+00:00

You can't generalise all women and all men based on anecedotal evidence that happened to you. It's a real shame (I know that sounds like a patronising term, but I can't think of a better one) that you were falsely accused, and that a lot of your friends left you, but what you can't do is judge all women you meet based on the actions of different women, that isn't fair on people.

scilent_scee · 2012-01-17T07:42:43+00:00

I don't think you're wrong about girls and boys in general. Being an elementary school teacher, it's painfully obvious that little boys tend to be, for lack of a better term, insane, and girls tend to be much more reserved. Of course, there are ample exceptions to the rule, but the generalization can be made accurately. I'm sure it has to do with how we are programmed to develop and our natural instincts and all that, and definitely a heaping helping of parenting (or lack thereof).

KeenDreams · 2012-01-17T07:59:03+00:00

I was once like you OP. Then I got a gf. And another. And then a another. They say third time's the charm, and for me it was. I finally learned.

DavidByron · 2012-01-17T20:27:29+00:00

How common is this sort of thing in schools?

decimetar · 2012-01-17T21:07:27+00:00

I think the one you just said there is so on point it hurts. Q: "women judge men as...". How the fuck did we get there??? Wtf happened to ladies and gentlemen???

2012-01-17T21:22:30+00:00

I hope that you find peace and happiness in the future. You are very strong. Learn to discern people who are individuals from followers, followers make shitty friends.

2012-05-09T05:39:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThePigman · 2012-01-18T01:39:14+00:00

"I REFUSE TO STOOP TO HER LEVEL"

That's part of your problem right there. If she knew there would be hell to pay she probably wouldn't have accused you. Keep fighting Marquess of Queensbury in the UFC and you'll be spending most of your life in hospital.

Whisper · 2012-01-17T07:02:29+00:00

Dear Mensrights,

... always seems to be followed by either:

[I am a concern troll]

or

[something incredibly, ludicrously unjust and ridiculous happened to me because I have XY chromosomes, and either no one believes me, or no one gives a crap]

Title	Dear MensRights
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	229
Comments	153
Date	January 17, 2012 5:53 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/okho8/dear_mensrights/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dear-mensrights.1029108 https://theredarchive.com/post/1029108