men "hate" foreplay because they get nothing out of it.

PeteyMax · 2022-06-19T18:41:51+00:00

The first night I spent with an ex girlfriend she gently caressed my whole body in the most delicious manner. Little did I know this wasn't an indication of good things to come. Rather it was training: she would demand to be touched in that same way multiple times per week but somehow never repeated her performance from that first night!

TracyMorganFreeman · 2022-06-19T18:52:57+00:00

Its a turn on and affirmation to turn them on. The problem is sometimes they don't reciprocate or provide feedback.

Plenty of women have the same complaints so it comes down to who you choose to be with and how much you actually voice your concerns.

Dismal-Opposite-6946 · 2022-06-19T20:36:50+00:00

As a woman, I never expected it. I also returned to the favor. While I agree that sex should never be transactional, I feel like if you're going to expect someone to do that, you need to be prepared to reciprocate. People seem to forget that men are still human and still like to be treated with love and respect.

Far too often, they don't even get treated with kindness. It's really sad. I always try to remember that whoever I'm dating is still human and whether you guys want to admit it or not, you love that mushy stuff as much as we do LOL.

Well I guess it depends on the person but normally they do. I just try to return the favor not only there but in all areas. If you're going to expect a man to treat you like a queen, you better treat him like a king.

Njaulv · 2022-06-19T19:21:58+00:00

Well yeah, I think a lot of the women/feminists mostly that make these complaints are just very immature and at like a high school level of thinking despite being adults. One of the most important parts of a sexual relationship is open communication about what you like, do not, desire, do not.

I have been with a few women that seemed to think foreplay was something we do to/for them, but the majority of women I've been with enjoy reciprocating when it comes to foreplay.

Those who shout the loudest about something garner attention, but do not speak for the majority of people in their camp by virtue of being the loudest.

rainbow_bro_bot · 2022-06-19T19:22:25+00:00

I prefer foreplay over actual sex.

I guess everyone's different.

Glass-Dimension-8827 · 2022-06-19T19:15:13+00:00

Hmm I’ve never thought about that. True, when faced with foreplay on a man, I think I’ve kinda been flooded with the idea that men don’t need it? That men are looking to get to the part they really like. I remember when I was a teenager, I saw a clip of a comedian talking about how some women would focus on his nipples. He said “men don’t like to feel all tingly!” I think I kinda internalized that, so I always approach caressing and going there with a man cautiously. Oral sex is a given, and I do most of my full body caressing then as well.

I guess what I’m saying is, women are kinda taught that men only care about quick contact with their naughty bits lol. Interesting thread, makes me think.

WiiWynn · 2022-06-19T20:29:16+00:00

I agree that women who feel men want to skip foreplay just demonstrates the men they’re finding themselves with.

I like foreplay. Love receiving and giving. I find nothing sexier than making a woman practically beg for it. The anticipation leads to greater experiences where you get the kind of sessions where they can barely function afterwards. 🤣

rosewiththornzzz · 2022-06-19T19:59:45+00:00

I love foreplay with my fiancé. Now he’s absolutely amazing and a total natural. It’s taken me a bit of learning because I went through a lot of sexual abuse as a kid and he’s my first relationship. But after we finally met in person I actually felt like it came naturally. I loved to come up behind him and rub his shoulders and kiss his neck, or pin him down on the bed and grind against him while kissing his chest. One that he found particularly hot was gently sucking his fingers. Foreplay is best when it’s both way. Love it so fucking much. Personally I think I love giving more as well. So much fun. Sorry that the women you’ve been with don’t give foreplay. I get that it must be really frustrating

koncernz · 2022-06-19T21:55:53+00:00

Also: Does anyone actually know any guys who don't like foreplay?

I see a lot of women online who wax poetic about "getting fucked" or "being used". But I've never actually met a man who didn't like kissing and touching.

DouglasWallace · 2022-06-19T22:05:14+00:00

The best relationship is where you can't tell when you move from chatting to flirting to foreplay to sex, it just happens naturally and wonderfully and you both end up satiated.

Ah, how terrible of me: I forgot to mention the need for Affirmative Consent and to get her to sign in triplicate that she wants you to do each individual thing before you do it, and to repeat this every three minutes just to make sure. Yeah, like the purpose of that really isn't to kill romance and passion.

Huffers1010 · 2022-06-19T21:41:13+00:00

Christ on a bike, I despair at the quality of sex some people must be getting for these complaints to come up.

CyclopeWarrior · 2022-06-19T21:52:13+00:00

Yeah i agree, everyone loves it but the expectations on the genders are very different. Every man is taught from multiple angles of the several hundreds of ways they should be pleasing women to "get a partner". That doesn't happen with women, women are also taught the several ways they should be getting pleased by their partners. So end result is as expected.

lmiartegtra · 2022-06-19T22:05:49+00:00

I mean. I don't necessarily have this problem and I think it can easily be fixed with decent communication in the event of a decently long relationship (more than 3 months if it hasn't sorted itself out already)

I have my host of issues sexually but what matters more than the problems is the understanding that it's ok when shit doesn't go right.

youropinionsaredumb · 2022-06-19T18:27:52+00:00

I enjoy teasing and power dynamics. The point of foreplay is to get them so frustrated that they borderline rape you in response.

Same game regardless of your gender.

If they aren't attracted to you, you deserve to get fucked by someone who is. 🤷‍♂️

Flaky-Illustrator-52 · 2022-06-19T18:48:50+00:00

some men hate foreplay.

I enjoy it tbh, it's the fun part (but that's mostly because of the degenerate shit my partner and I are into)

masterdarthrevan · 2022-06-19T21:16:10+00:00

I like foreplay, helps me last longer, it's the wife that hates it

Deckardisdead · 2022-06-19T21:44:29+00:00

Honestly I need her to get going cuz I am always ready to go. Out of respect for her I like to make sure she has her motor running....if u get my drift. 😆

girraween · 2022-06-19T22:41:32+00:00

All you need to say is, “men and women love foreplay”.

No need for anything else.

hackenschmidt · 2022-06-20T00:26:04+00:00

Do you agree?

Yes and no. When ever this subject comes up, I see that real issue in how its treated so dichotomously. e.g if you don't 'love' foreplay unconditionally, they you must 'hate' it. In reality, life, and especially sex, is much more nuanced than that.

Do I think men 'hate' foreplay? No. But I think there's a whole spectrum of 'foreplay' out there that many men do not enjoy, and for good reason. You've noted one such paradigm with it being considered one-sided. I would highlight two other facets: duration and requirement. If you, or your partner, MUST have extended foreplay (e.g. say 10+ dedicated mins) every single time, that is very likely going to get onerous at some point. Instead of being fun/exciting, its going to turn into a chore.

While I'm obviously not saying just to go to town in 0.01s flat. Everyone needs some warm up time. Yes, even men. The warmup doesn't even necessarily have to be consistent. But when the warm up, turns into a full blow workout, so to speak, every....single...time, thats when I see conflict arise and men start wrongly getting labeled as 'hating' foreplay.

Basically, if you want to go for an hour plus on the foreplay because its fun and you both enjoy it, great. Go for it. But if you literally cannot after a brief warm up, ever, thats a red flag. You both need to reevaluate your 'warm up' process, or maybe even see a doctor.

HoldorScalp · 2022-06-19T21:12:33+00:00

I do not agree and I've been with my fair share of women. I love foreplay, eat her out, kissing and they often reciprocate. Believe me that when you turn them on, they eat you up too afterward. If you want something, you have to give too.

Wifeofwes · 2022-06-19T22:05:38+00:00

The point of foreplay is for both parties to have a chance to feel comfortable, appreciated, and most importantly AROUSED. If you were being penetrated, you would understand that foreplay is necessary for both parties to have a more enjoyable experience. This sounds like a lack of experience and insight, and I feel bad for the women you've been with if you're telling them you don't have time to be affectionate before your cram something in her. And I feel bad for you if every sexual interaction you have had has been solely someone hopping on then hopping off. I think you might find it's enjoyable and beneficial to both parties if you are with the right people.

kiadragon · 2022-06-19T21:38:59+00:00

If you get nothing out of foreplay...you might be doing it wrong. Or gay men wouldn't do it.

Also, warming up your female partner with foreplay will cause her to have a more positive and aroused experience, leading her body to lubricate more readily and thereby increase your pleasure.

Are you not getting some foreplay attention from her? I mean, it shouldn't all be you doing all the foreplay work.

Rad_Knight · 2022-06-19T22:00:59+00:00

This is a big maybe for me.

When I was i a realtionship, foreplay included both of us using hands and mouth on each other and she was the one who was eager get to the penetration.

InformalCriticism · 2022-06-19T22:45:36+00:00

I'm not trying to shame anyone, but if a girl both needs foreplay and makes no effort on your behalf, chances are she's just not into you for "you".

omegaphallic · 2022-06-19T23:06:34+00:00

I love foreplay

geocitiesuser · 2022-06-19T23:11:33+00:00

speak for yourself. I love extended play sessions. Rushing to orgasm is something you do real quick before work. If you're not enjoying foreplay you're not doing it right, IMHO.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-06-19T18:31:34+00:00

The biggest problem men have with foreplay, is they lose their erections, and when that happens, women move on, because women don't see men as sexual beings in today's society.

TAPriceCTR · 2022-06-19T19:24:24+00:00

They do if it is mutual. But if she's being a starfish, yeah, foreplay is boring as hell.

United_Reality4157 · 2022-06-19T20:49:17+00:00

I call this the death fish syndrome

saito200 · 2022-06-19T21:27:25+00:00

Maybe most women believe that men don't care about foreplay and only want their dick stimulated.

I am a man. I want foreplay. I love foreplay. Jumping too quickly to sex (penetration) without foreplay to me is a bit of a pity. I love touch, kisses, hugs, feeling this connection of bonding with the woman I am in love physically.

Substantial-Emu-9900 · 2022-06-19T23:18:44+00:00

I for one don't even think this is true across the board, rather its the type of men these women choose to sleep that display this trait.

followed by

In my experience, many women consider foreplay simply as something a guy must do to them to get them ready for sex.

without a hint of irony

One_True_Hobo · 2022-06-19T22:29:10+00:00

i heavily disagree, and here's why:

women and men experience sexual pleasure very differently, and this also depends on your definition of foreplay. most women would agree that a blowjob is foreplay, the same way cunnilingus is. since (cis) men's sexual pleasure generally is concentrated mostly (albeit not entirely) on the penis, that's where most of foreplay aimed for the (cis) guy is aimed at. for (cis) women, it's a lot more complicated. they can become overloaded, sometimes too much at once doesn't feel good for them. for people with a penis, it's ready to go once it's hard. for those with a vagina, they need to ease into it, and open themselves up. men don't get as deep foreplay simply for the reason a lot of the time that they don't need it, and most women know that, so they don't bother with it. i'm sure if you communicated with your sexual partners, relationship or not, that you want the same standard of foreplay, that they would have no problem obliging you.

also, relationships aren't an economical exchange. they exist to make both people comfortable, and that happens in different ways. the "getting something" out of foreplay comes from giving your partner pleasure. if you are only looking to pleasure yourself in sex, you will never have a truly fulfilling sex life, because that isn't what sex is about. the same way if you're playing a multiplayer strategy game, everyone just going for the highest number of kills won't always get you the win. in a team game, there are roles to be played, and the same goes with sex.

taylorfreebird · 2022-06-19T23:12:23+00:00

If she needs that to "get ready for sex" then there is other issues going on! If I want to be with a man, then that isnt an issue!

angrygrumphead · 2022-06-20T00:14:02+00:00

I'd say if she does it for me, I do it for her. Give and take if you will. You're not going to demand it. Your coochie ain't that hot lol

EdziePro · 2022-06-20T00:48:45+00:00

Once I grabbed her by the neck. She grabbed back. I slapped her, she slapped back (She's asked for both of those things, I haven't). Hottest sex I've ever had. Reciprocation is key. It's not selfish to want pleasure out of something you are SUPPOSED to be receiving pleasure out of, as long as you give pleasure back!

ZenofZer0 · 2022-06-19T21:40:05+00:00

I’ve sat on both ends of the spectrum as far as partners. I will be the first to say that it IS NOT ALL OR EVEN MOST in my experience. It’s a pretty even split honestly. What I have seen is that more confident women and women who are more initially sexual are the worst offenders of this. From what I’ve gathered there’s some commonality in this. I’m sure I’ll ruffle feathers but this is the world as I’ve seen it and may not represent an accurate account of an objective truth: women of this nature typically lead with sex as their positive attribute. I think there’s a certain level of expectation there that since she is offering yourself, you are expected to “worship” (bit of a strong word but the principle remains) her body for her to feel the gratification that she believes her body will offer you. For all of those, there are plenty of amazing women who are willing to reciprocate affection. If you find that your partner will not meet your needs then you need to get out early because it never ends well.

Beltox2pointO · 2022-06-19T19:21:19+00:00

This is just incel talk.

A lot of women don't and never will cum from penetrative sex, it has nothing to do with them being "entitled" to forplay. It's about being a half decent lover and making sure they have as good of time as you do.

Adorable-Mix-4002 · 2022-06-19T21:47:08+00:00

I'll do anything to please my women (sexual), that's what makes me happy. But as long as it's us 2 cuz it may get out of hand if there's more involved, (3ways +)

xTheVyrusx · 2022-06-19T19:10:03+00:00

Women hate unattractive men because they get nothing out of it. Women hate broke men because they get nothing out of it. Women hate split bills because they get nothing out of it (free meals).

RatioHobo · 2022-06-19T19:30:33+00:00

So youre saying men dont like their dick sucked?? Also, I’m sure women do try to kiss touch and hug their men but when someones pushing your head or laying you down, it’s hard to try other things with them then and there, because you see this is what they want now. You have a choice. Stop that and tell them what you feel like doing right there, or dont.

Canttakethewhyfromme · 2022-06-19T21:31:43+00:00

I think Western society views sex way too much as an extreme favor an “oppressed” woman might do for a “privileged” man. Personally, I think we need to lose some of our Puritanical beliefs and completely get rid of all expectations women have on men they aren’t currently sleeping with.

VoltageLuxray · 2022-06-19T22:26:02+00:00

To be fair, men will always get more out of PIV. Foreplay is required to get the woman ready for sex, because otherwise it is boring and uncomfortable.

fanclockbedsheet · 2022-06-19T20:00:31+00:00

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Guycool2456 · 2022-06-19T21:51:18+00:00

In all fairness aren't there some women who enjoy a lack of foreplay, a la freeuse?

bubbybyrd · 2022-06-19T23:38:25+00:00

This is like saying "I hate working for my employer because they refuse to do the same work for me". When in reality, a good employer will compensate you financially, mentally and physically (paid time off, career ladder, ect). Relationships don't work on a 1:1 basis.

2022-06-20T00:05:41+00:00

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TextDependent6779 · 2022-06-20T00:06:17+00:00

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chaython · 2022-06-20T00:10:08+00:00

I love giving my girl all of my attention.

I live for her happiness.

AyyLmaoAV · 2022-06-20T00:45:15+00:00

What a load of misandry. Source: no chick every tried my foreplay, they are the ones to rush it

Analyst_Lost · 2022-06-20T01:06:53+00:00

my guy foreplay is best for woman

Title	men "hate" foreplay because they get nothing out of it.
Author	fanclockbedsheet
Upvotes	238
Comments	184
Date	June 19, 2022 6:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/vg17j0/men_hate_foreplay_because_they_get_nothing_out_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-hate-foreplay-because-they-get-nothing-out-of.1120828 https://theredarchive.com/post/1120828

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