Creative and high energy dates are mostly a waste of time

TopShelfSnipes · 2026-06-02T02:20:41+00:00

A date can be creative and different without breaking the bank.

Dinner is boring for most people. Mix it up. Go to a carnival, walk by the riverfront, sightsee on a bridge, go to a free art museum, free outdoor concert, go watch a sunset, if she's athletic have a catch or toss a football, or go to a zoo an aquarium or a nature preserve. Not every creative date has to be expensive.

You start there and if it goes well can add on fun ideas based on the things you talk about that seem like a good fit.

ctrl_f_sauce · 2026-06-02T02:37:03+00:00

You can be creative without burdensome sacrifices. In fact, that’s the joy of early dating. There is enough intrigue in the other person that the activities you’ll soon overlook seem fun to attend together. You shouldn’t be spending what feels like “a lot to you.”

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-06-02T03:00:07+00:00

Dating is about being yourself, but, there are better and worse ways to introduce yourself so to speak.

My first date with my now husband, we got pizza, which is his favorite food and it was very kind of thrown together last minute, but super fun and cute mostly because they kicked us out we'd been there so long.

The second date, he took me offroading for several hours and then we got ice cream. I'd never been, but was interested and it was a huge part of his life that certainly impressed me and had a wow factor to it.

Our third date was getting McDonalds and going to a park where he showed me some off the beaten path trails and we ended up on a bench watching a comedian on you tube.

Again, I must stress, this is really how he lived normally and it was a great way to show his lifestyle and spirit.

That's what I'd recommend for creative. Do stuff you'd like doing that is part of who you are with them. Otherwise, you're really not gonna know if they fit with you so well.

A lot of this depends on your goals obviously. But I think making an impression is a good intro. You learn a lot when you take people places off the beaten path.

Honest to God, I think if I'd just taken every man I dated to my hometown to see it and the house I grew up in, I could have saved years of dating. Things I never could have learned from a coffee date.

mobjack · 2026-06-02T03:07:05+00:00

You are supposed to show your date that you are fun to be with.

Creative dates are fun.

Siukslinis_acc · 2026-06-02T04:03:55+00:00

People nowadays don't have the patience to develop things slowly. They want to go from 1 to 100 as fast as possible. People nowadays look for shortcuts to master a skill in a month that actually takes years to master. I think social media plays a big role in it as we don't see the crappy stuff and hardships that people go through to learn it. Not to mention grifters selling "shortcuts". Like, the answer to "how to be more charismatic" is "fumble, fall and tinker for years till you figure it out". We tend to only see the results, but we don't see the effort it took the person to do that.

Personally, i think one of the points of the date is something that you both find entertaining. I can't fathom why would you organise a date that you would not find interesting or entertaining. And if the ajswer is "because she would enjoy it" - that's bad news for you, you should find a person where you could have fun together instead of being dragged around boring stuff.

I think the energy output should be similar to you base energy output, so that they won't get false expectation. And i know how the "honeymoon phase" gives you a boost of energy, but resist using it as it will fade over time and you will be in a pickle trying to do stuff that requires more energy than your base one.

It's a bit like people who hate small talk and want to immediatelly go to deep talk. The purpose of small talk is to get to know the person, their boundaries, what are they comfortable with, how they function in a low-stakes way.

Here is an interesting date idea. A tour around the place where you grew up and you tell your childhood stories. Show them a tree and say that when you were a kid you have boinked that tree when you were slidong from the hill.

AutisticRats · 2026-06-02T03:16:10+00:00

The point of a creative/high energy date should be to have fun. If there is no fun, then it is certainly a waste of time. Regardless if the dating converts into a relationship, it should still have been worthwhile. If it isn't, then the wrong date idea was picked. Anyone that I seem compatible to go on a second date with is likely someone I'll have fun going out onto creative dates with. Even if that second date ends up being the last one, I'll still have enjoyed myself and thought it was worth doing.

waffleznstuff30 · 2026-06-02T04:38:49+00:00

We got coffee and played in a cemetery for one of our dates.

You just have to know who the person you are dating is.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-06-02T02:47:59+00:00

Having fun or an enjoyable time is not a waste to many people. Doing them with someone often makes them more enjoyable. Experiences can be awesome, even if the date part doesn’t work out.

It’s only a waste if the only reason you are doing it is to impress and not to enjoy.

baller696969balls · 2026-06-02T04:46:47+00:00

I disagree. A standard dinner date is, in my opinion, one of the worst ways to get to know someone if one or both of you aren’t very charismatic. There’s no moving and the surroundings aren’t particularly novel, there’s nothing to really jog your thought train if you’re just sitting down.

Some people’s thoughts don’t come straight to their heads, especially people who ruminate. People on this sub would probably benefit from creative and high energy dates because it would ease off the tension that comes with held assumptions and self doubt.

If you can point focus elsewhere (i.e on like painting a pot, or experiencing a festival ride), the interactions between both parties will come a lot more naturally. Also, a lot of the time it’s like working towards a common goal, which is an extremely important aspect of building cooperation skills and identifying possible conflict in your ability to work as pair.

Axis_Control · 2026-06-02T06:13:08+00:00

You should do what you usually do. Don't go out of your way to do things you don't usually do or it will make the woman think you usually do extravagant and exciting things.

Logical_Thinking_ · 2026-06-02T02:42:14+00:00

Men who put creative effort in up front will always be superior in my book. It doesn't have to be expensive to be delightful.

Men who love to pretend their low effort is pragmatism never get better and you end up feeling like the neglected girlfriend who never has a reason to be excited for anything. They are the ones who don't believe in Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, real flowers, date nights, or anything. It's not for me. Bring on the chalant.

leosandlattes · 2026-06-02T03:59:05+00:00

How are creative, fun dates a waste of time if they’re fun? Like, that’s the entire point of a date. Why would I want a stiff date? They do not have to be expensive at all.

KayRay1994 · 2026-06-02T03:12:06+00:00

….. and in creative/fun dates you get closer, have fun togther and get to know each other. What do you think happens after a date where you genuinely have fun? You start opening up to each other and getting know each other lol

To be clear a creative and fun date should NOT be a means to an end, I think that is a good way to set yourself up for failure, but what I am saying is having fun together is a bonding experience and a low stakes way to show your fun/easy going side

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love_in_october · 2026-06-02T08:37:45+00:00

Many people go on rather a lot of first dates these days, might as well do something they enjoy and wanted to do anyway instead of the same thing every time. When you're doing something fun you will show yourself in a better light anyway. And being creative means you can avoid paying for a whole dinner.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2026-06-02T02:33:43+00:00

Most women aren’t even worth putting that much money and energy in

ziggyt1 · 2026-06-02T06:09:02+00:00

Coffee, a drink, an appetizer, or ice cream is the best. Low investment if you don't get along, doesn't require sitting through an awkward dinner if it's obviously not going well, and it weeds out the entitled types who expect princess treatment from strangers.

Title	Creative and high energy dates are mostly a waste of time
Author	DriverInitial8305
Upvotes	23
Comments	46
Date	June 2, 2026 2:13 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1tudcx5/creative_and_high_energy_dates_are_mostly_a_waste/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/creative-and-high-energy-dates-are-mostly-a-waste.1581884 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581884

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