Dating Apps Sound Dreadful

SexCrispies · 2025-11-25T11:24:04+00:00

You cannot just tell them "go back to socializing within your social environment and have sex with the women you already have warm connection with". The guys who struggle here have zero friends and ask questions like: "how does one even go about making a female friend?", "where to meet women?", "i don't talk to women because i am afraid i will get thrown into jail", "i am autistic and everytime i follow the script that i meticulously crafted to go from cold approach to sex, the women rejects me! What am i doing wrong? Refine my script!"

Those guys are stuck at a point that is years behind what you advise them to do.

ta06012022 · 2025-11-25T03:27:23+00:00

Personally, I see dating apps as a positive, but I think you probably shouldn't rely on them as your only way of meeting someone.

As a supplement to meeting people in person, the apps have allowed me to meet a lot of women that I never would have randomly encountered in NYC, including my girlfriend.

When I was in college, I mostly met girls in person through a common social circle like you describe, but it was harder to meet in person after graduating. Some of that probably relates to the fact that I graduated in 2020. Most things were closed where I was and really dating apps were basically the only option.

Even after the pandemic ended, I found them to be the easiest way to meet women in NYC. It just wasn't my only way.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-11-25T03:15:56+00:00

In my experience, the dating apps are what you make of them. Once you get a number off the app, it's no different than getting a number anywhere else.

Scary-Mouse4817 · 2025-11-25T03:20:29+00:00

I only use dating apps these days. I feel I have more control over the situation. If the date is awkward or she thinks I am lame, I like that she also bears part of the blame and wastes her night. Personally I don't find it awkward. I actually am far more stressed out talking to a random girl at a bar, than I am a random girl I met on an app.

It helps that I am physically attractive and get matches. I suppose men who have bad dating profiles really are shooting themselves in the foot by using them. I mean if you get zero matches, you get zero matches. Its not working for you.

Its not as easy as you would image, especially post-college age to build large networks of mix gender friends and aquaintances with new women rotating in and out that can serve as your love interests.

Like if I go to some mixer with new people, I have to compete with the other guys for the girls attention. There is a ton more pressure. If she matches me on an app at least I know what the baseline is.

I think young men are more and more competition shy than their fathers. Even attractive men are shy these days, there is too much competition and it is discouraging.

Ok_Use7 · 2025-11-25T03:42:38+00:00

They're fine. Nothing more than a casual way to meet new people to supplement other social avenues.

And awkwardness isn't scary.

Tylikcat · 2025-11-25T03:09:32+00:00

I'm fifty-two, youngun!

But, right? Hell, we didn't always do the dinner and a movie thing (a lot of us were broke, at least until done with college) but maybe coffee and walks and dinner at home... and then hopped right into bed.

No_Teacher_3313 · 2025-11-25T03:22:23+00:00

Nope! I’m a bit older than you and love being able to screen for important things prior to even initiating contact. I’m an introvert but don’t have trouble talking one-on-one to new people. I like the efficiency of dating apps.

Environmental_Day558 · 2025-11-25T03:22:18+00:00

Don’t any of you just want to get away throw away the dating apps and get back to the good old fashioned ways?

Not at all my guy. I'd likely be single rn if it wasn't for covid and technology. I don't really go out much unless I need to and I never approached a woman first in my life. To me the old fashion way sounds like driving without a GPS. I got friends that do it, I've seen them cold approach and get numbers and dates and I probably could if I applied myself, I just never felt the desire to do that nor do I need to now.

avocadolanche3000 · 2025-11-25T05:20:08+00:00

I’m glad to see people defending the apps.

It’s a different dating landscape to be sure but the positives outweigh the negatives. It’s dehumanizing but you have literally thousands of options. Once you’re on a date it’s basically the same as it always was, with the exception that you may get ghosted or cut off inexplicably. But I think that’s actually kind of better. It’s like accelerated romance.

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Axis_Control · 2025-11-25T06:22:40+00:00

Tinder and hinge (swipe based apps) are bad yes because its based on 1 pic and you have to match before you can talk.

Plenty of fish is better but seems to attract older men.

Apps aren't that great.

Honestly I found reddit better.

N_Count_Council · 2025-11-25T10:42:59+00:00

I have no issues with the dates themselves. The issue I have is how dating apps have skewed the sexual marketplace so hard that literal 200+ lb women think they're looksmatched with me (6' tall and in very good shape)

Inside-Respond-7442 · 2025-11-25T14:25:14+00:00

Movie and dinner? Women will see you as a corny clown and rightfully so.

Apps are absolutely fine.

wild_squirrel_ · 2025-11-25T19:04:46+00:00

Even if you’re “successful” on dating apps they are dreadful. Like at their best they are still awful.

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wtknight · 2025-11-25T05:02:04+00:00

I am older than you, and dating websites certainly did exist when I was single in my 20s. Even before the websites, people still sometimes met via chat room or even through newspaper personals.

I think that the personality test websites worked somewhat well for people who weren't just messaging the hottest person no matter the compatibility. It only got really bad when shallow, swipe-based apps got popular. I think that online dating could work better again (although swipe apps supposedly work for some people) if people were willing to go back to the personality test paradigm. Unfortunately, too many people just use dating apps for casual meet-ups, which makes sense, as a lot of relationships these days start from what was originally a hook-up (I'd never do things this way, though).

Both-Bridge6643 · 2025-11-25T05:51:39+00:00

Personally, I don’t really have much of a choice but to use dating apps, even though I have zero luck with that as well.

jenaemare · 2025-11-25T14:54:35+00:00

Completely agree with you. I'm 30 so dating apps started really booming when I was in university. I always thought it's a very shallow and objectifying concept so I never used one. I am also a pretty crazy esoterical hippie BS type of girl so I would never date a man I met through an algorithm and not through the natural order of the universe lol. But that's just me. I also live in a very social European country so I meet new people every weekend, dating is not a problem at all here.

saving_private_ryan_ · 2025-11-25T18:06:37+00:00

I think the main flaw with apps is that I personally cannot measure someone's attractiveness purely through a photo. There are women who I found extremely attractive IRL but when I see their photos on FB they do nothing for me. They just look whatever. I need to see their aura, mannerisms, voice, facial expressions, etc.

Ironically I'm a homebody introvert and I despise socializing and being outgoing. But I'm naturally extremely good at connecting and making conversation with people.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-11-25T18:46:44+00:00

The thing about dating apps is that they have very low opportunity cost. I could swipe through 50 people in less time than it's taking me to write this comment. It does not, therefore, interfere with my ability to go out at night and hook up the old fashioned way. It's a supplement, not a replacement.

It's also extra useful in particular situations, like: traveling or moving; living somewhere that gets lots of tourists; living in a city so big that you cant go out to every "right place at the right time"; finding out that an acquaintance is newly single 😀; et cetera.

how fucking horrible and awkward it must be

Not everyone feels awkward on a first date with a stranger. In fact, getting over that reaction is to your great competitive advantage.

toasterchild · 2025-11-25T21:27:52+00:00

My social, music fest friends live like this, it's not that it doesn't exist anymore.

There are just more socially awkward people who don't leave their house now. I don't think any of my socially awkward friends would ever meet anyone if not for the internet.

People weren't all getting laid back in your day, i know my uncle wasn't. Socially awkward people used to struggle then too but you rarely saw it because they were at home and there was no reddit.

Comfortable-Boot-284 · 2025-11-26T01:44:01+00:00

I'm old enough and young enough to have experienced both sides. The apps and social media have made people more selfish, narcissistic and irrational the longer they use them. You can't fix this by just going out.

Women have normalized hypergamy. Men have normalized competition. You'll see this all the time if you regularly try meeting new people. The whole process of dating someone has been turned into a ridiculously long pick up routine.

It's aggravating. The apps themselves work better in the short term, but the drain they create on society from perpetually worse and worse behavior is what causes the loneliness crisis.

MyTeethHurtRn · 2025-11-26T17:20:50+00:00

I am only 26, but yes, I would love to get back to the good old fashioned ways. Unfortunately this is the reality we live in now. If I delete the apps, I'm not going back to the old fashioned way. I am cutting myself out of the market entirely, because everybody else will still default to the apps. The top comment on this post said as much already, but you can't just socialize and find connections when you have no friends and nowhere to go.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-11-25T06:00:43+00:00

Yeah the epidemic is mainly because it gives women so many options, way more then they did 20 or 30 years ago. So men nowadays or playing by rules mostly for that reason. Online is basically like the cold approach method for guys that like dating outside of their circle.

Which existed back then as well but of course the dating apps didn't exist in the 90s but sites that were similar did exist in the early 00s, when you were still pretty young, you know stuff like okcupid,tagged and pof. So this type of dating has been around for a while but the new ones are just a lot more popular then back then.

Mission-Jicama-8747 · 2025-11-25T16:42:56+00:00

Dating apps are the only effective way to meet women. People who say otherwise are simply out of reality.

Title	Dating Apps Sound Dreadful
Author	bluepillarmy
Upvotes	20
Comments	136
Date	November 25, 2025 3:04 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1p61if1/dating_apps_sound_dreadful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-apps-sound-dreadful.1567360 https://theredarchive.com/post/1567360

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