Dating in the Workplace?

NockerJoe · 2022-03-05T04:15:22+00:00

Culturally its discouraged. I've done it but I know nasty rumors have spread as a result so I can't say theres no consequence.

Work used to be a place that was reasonably common to find a partner but those days have long since passed.

StarchRunner · 2022-03-05T05:18:11+00:00

Is this a family business or not?

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-03-05T05:19:12+00:00

What are your thoughts on workplace dating

If you're working in like a restaurant or retail, something like that I'm not super against the idea , it's a looser environment, it's just more laid back, it is what it is.

Now if you're in Corporate America/ Tech like myself I absolutely advise against pursuing it, especially for men, people on here give me a lot of flak when I say I pretty much don't talk to women at work unless I have to but there's just too much money on the line for me to get hit with the "I didn't feel comfortable" lol, so unless she makes the first move (in which case you document every interaction) I would just advise against it

Have you seen it happen?

Back when I was flipping burgers in high school? Absolutely, in my post-collegiate life? Only a couple times that I know of, now I did have a fling with an older co-worker during my earlier days at the company, I didn't know she was married at the time but it was what it was, but nowadays I wouldn't risk it

Do people have work-spouses?

Yep, and honestly most times it's not even a romantic thing , not saying that it can't be, but most times it just means that the chemistry in terms of getting the job done almost looks like a marriage, a couple of the guys on my current team we call work husbands so take that for what it's worth lol

Again we ain't the same

Crushed_95 · 2022-03-05T04:21:12+00:00

I have never ever thought about having a relationship with someone I work with. That's asinine to me! Why? So we can have an argument at home and then come to work and finish it? Nauh son! Thats stupid!

cvslengthbucketlist · 2022-03-05T04:45:55+00:00

I'm not too fond of it because there's no easy exit strategy for you or the other person. Depends on your level of tolerance though, if you're okay with workplace gossip or awkwardness after a bad fight or breakup and can easily find another job then that's a personal choice I guess.

Work spouses definitely exist and something I try to avoid, especially if you're mutually attracted and if the other person is in a relationship. The convenience of it is way too tempting and conducive to emotional cheating if not physical.

PeppinoGreen · 2022-03-05T05:26:43+00:00

Don't try to get laid on places where you have to go everyday for your continuous development... except for college.

My workplace and the gym are forbidden places. If shit hits the fan, I would hate to stop my personal development for a woman.

accountantladyreads · 2022-03-05T09:06:14+00:00

Don't do it. Ever.

My colleague started dating my boss. Ruined a perfectly happy work environment.

jamesbwbevis · 2022-03-05T06:33:43+00:00

It would be stupid to pass on your future spouse for a job that you probably won't have 2 years from now

rosesonthefloor · 2022-03-05T04:43:17+00:00

I have twice dated someone I worked with and it went badly both times. I wouldn’t recommend it. The first time, I stayed longer than I should have with him because we worked together and it was easier to stay than leave.

The second time, I told him I didn’t want to date someone I worked with and he incidentally actually had an interview already booked with another org. That didn’t change the fact that eventually people found out before he left and it made things super awkward when I broke up with him.

I will say that guy #2 was somewhat of a “work-spouse”. Just in the sense that we talked a lot and we’re friends at work. We never crossed any lines while I was taken, but it wasn’t 6 days after I broke up with my ex that he was confessing his crush on me. I would never engage in that kind of “relationship” again - I thought he was just a friend, but looking back we were definitely closer than we should have been. I guess part of it was because I knew my relationship with my bf at the time wasn’t going to last, but still, I feel icky about it now.

Medical-Tap8190 · 2022-03-05T04:44:45+00:00

Didn’t start a relationship, was just talking to someone else at work. Got weird fast, people started making jokes, I tried to be more attentive but she felt awkward. Eventually just called it off. Work from home now, hard to start anything through camera and text lol I say do it if y’all sync like link. I’ve seen successful work relationships.

-Saw a work spouse relationship before where the girl was married but she had a dude at work she was always around. Things happened outside of work, her husband never found out but it ended after the work spouse found another job and moved on

Classic_Head3437 · 2022-03-05T04:54:21+00:00

I learned when I was 16, at my first job, not to eat where you shit. My first gf got fired for shoplifting, and it led to everyone watching me closely for several weeks. I never dated a co-worker ever again.

dysonRing · 2022-03-05T12:50:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

social_mule · 2022-03-05T04:30:22+00:00

Bad idea. Don't do it.

Nyanu · 2022-03-05T06:26:53+00:00

I've had many work crushes but I'm kinda afraid to pursue them. Don't really want an HR visit. If they like me it would be better for them to approach. I work in a larger department store btw.

LatterSeaworthiness4 · 2022-03-05T06:56:44+00:00

It’s not a great idea but I had flings with 1 manager and 1 director at my first job and had an ongoing fling with my manager at my second job. I was a salesperson though so not really shocking.

Yes, a lot of people do have work spouses. If you’re in a happy relationship, steer clear of having one of these.

neetykeeno · 2022-03-05T06:56:50+00:00

Don't get your meat where you get your bread.

poppy_blu · 2022-03-05T07:01:41+00:00

It’s not worth it.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-03-05T07:56:13+00:00

i generally lived by the rule i wouldn’t date somebody i met at work. potentially messy. but i do work with my boyfriend currently, got the job after we started dating. i was hesitant at first but we actually work well together, and our departments are different so we’re not up one another’s ass all day.

i think it’s normal to have deep friendships with people you work closely with but like, keep it appropriate and respectful of your partner.

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-03-05T12:17:56+00:00

It’s not encouraged and I think most people view it as taboo. I think it should be avoided, unless you know for sure you are going to be marrying that person.

I’ve seen it happen. A girl I was very close to at work dated another guy. They were very paranoid about it getting around and I only knew because I was very close to her and she told me. However, they pretty much avoided one another at work.

I also slept with my work husband, nothing resulted from that but we are still great friends even after both leaving the company.

goatismycopilot · 2022-03-05T13:35:14+00:00

My workplace is large but it has a culty flavor. I would never date anybody I work with because hospitals are notorious for being gossipy and I want to be able to fully be myself.

I went hiking a month ago and I ended up in a conversation with a man that I quickly deduced that a) worked where I worked and b) was from the " 7th" floor which is our language for executive level. I swear my place is like Fox News where they give the executives a script. He was really probing me for my opinions of things and when I critiqued some aspects of our culture that if they got back to my executive level big boss I would not get in much trouble for he gave me the script.

Then he bored the fuck out of me talking about how his home was actually a yacht in Tampa and he had six people over for Thanksgiving and blah blah. Like I fucking care.

It would be more interesting to date a random homeless man than anybody I worked with.

slut-forager · 2022-03-06T02:11:48+00:00

Tbh I very strictly didn't date coworkers because I want my professional and personal life to be completely separate. I've seen it happen lol my boss got fired for having an affair with a girl in our department. It was a whole scandal. I think sometimes it can work out but a lot of the time it doesn't and then the work place gets awkward, especially if it was an ugly break up.

Commercial-Engineer3 · 2022-03-06T03:58:39+00:00

It's a bad idea because if something goes south in the relationship it can affect your job and therefore your ability to make a living.
Yes. Two coworkers, male and female who were also roomates (not dating). They ended up banging each other and having a kid. They didn't get along...lots of workplace drama ensued.
Never heard of work-spouses.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-03-05T14:48:41+00:00

1 - Workplace dating is fine, as long as you aren't flaunting it.

2 - I worked at a restaurant in my early 20s and fucked about half of the women who worked there. Dated a few of them, too.

3 - Yes, proximity will cause people to be closer and possibly develop feelings, in situations that wouldn't normally create a relationship.

Pm_Me_Dirty_Thought · 2022-03-05T07:30:15+00:00

the most common thing all over but Americans are fcking weirdos about it

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Superannuatedpunk · 2022-03-05T07:45:28+00:00

I work in construction, which is 99% male. It's really not much of an issue - though I do have to supress a giggle when a Grindr notification sound goes off in the smoko shed.

OneAngryBlutbad · 2022-03-05T11:15:15+00:00

Done it a couple times, first time wasn’t too bad.

Second time ended with the cops being called.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-03-05T12:35:59+00:00

Don’t shit where you eat.

Don’t risk your job/livelihood for a piece of tail.

yabbobay · 2022-03-05T14:58:29+00:00

I normally say no.

My sister met her husband at work. It's been 22 years. But part of me wonders if they know the conundrum they are in.

sarkington · 2022-03-05T15:36:12+00:00

Most workplace relationships are fine; people just really really don’t like you messing with their money. And rightly so. Indulge at your own risk

WilliamWyattD · 2022-03-05T15:42:37+00:00

Don't do it casually. If you typically have lots of options, don't choose a workplace one unless you really think something special is there.

Of course, if you have few options, you have to take what you can get. But proceed carefully.

ruboyuri · 2022-03-05T16:40:30+00:00

People just say that so you’re not surprised when you get fired.

You can fuck with people’s money. But if you get caught, god help you

Smallstreet77 · 2022-03-05T17:01:57+00:00

If she makes an advance, why not ? I would let her know to keep it on the low while we are at work, and just hook up at my place or hers, doesn’t matter. Now in regards to relationships. Don’t do it.

briiiana1122 · 2022-03-05T17:17:40+00:00

There has in my life been a massive difference between corporate jobs and things like restaurant or other service jobs in this regard.

It’s a big risk but I’ve worked with people who were together and met at work. Every (corporate) job I’ve had has generally had some form of policy in place where you report relationships to them and they won’t keep you in the same department and especially in a role where one reports to the other.

I’d avoid it personally. There are lots of people in this world, it’s not worth the possible drama.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-03-05T17:33:57+00:00

I had no choice in the matter. Work was the only place I met people. My social circle was people from work. Apps sucked so completely and utterly that it was a negative energy vortex, like a form of psychological abuse. Fortunately my work has a big physical footprint and several locations so I wasn't sitting right next to a person after we just broke up.

NiceGuyNumber4 · 2022-03-05T17:41:06+00:00

Depends on your HR department. Generally, anyone within your department or that you work with daily is potentially playing with fire. The rest is more situational.

SDW137 · 2022-03-05T19:37:54+00:00

I think that dating in the workplace is fine if you're in a big company and that person is in a different department than you. It used to be more commonplace, but societal norms have changed so it's now more frowned down upon and depending on a company's HR policy, may not allowed at all. I've seen it happen at work, but in all instances, none of them reported to the same manager.

Where I work, I haven't seen anyone with "work spouses".

heyitsjeapeagain · 2022-03-05T20:24:26+00:00

It’s fine with me but not happening in my workplace. It is the place where you spend the most time (if you work outside the home) so it’s probably the best place to meet someone if you remove the legal pitfalls. There is a faction of people who want to make meeting someone a test of character or as difficult as possible and they will have a problem with my train of thought.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-03-05T21:10:44+00:00

So, it can be ok, until it isn't. Is she going to freak out and get you fired? Probably not, but it can suck when it happens, so it's like a kidnapping: low probability, but high impact.

There are billions of people on the planet that you DON'T work with, so it would seem to be easier in that way.

StacksFifthAve · 2022-03-07T16:41:21+00:00

My rule of thumb here would be if you’re not a regular Don Juan in the social scene, don’t try it on in the work place.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-03-05T08:58:57+00:00

What are your thoughts on workplace dating?

It's for post wall career girls.

Have you seen it happen?

My mom married her boss. He was married since 20 years back, but left his wife to be with my mom because she is 10 years younger and made good money.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-03-05T05:19:05+00:00

No, just don't even consider it. Don't shit where you eat, when it comes to commitment at least.

Fucking them? Sure that's fine.

daddysgotanew · 2022-03-05T14:52:54+00:00

Like anything in life, it has to pass the Chad test. If he does it, it’s perfectly fine and acceptable. For the other 99 percent of men, you risk being fired, accused of sexual harassment, and being blackballed from entire industries if you try it.

Title	Dating in the Workplace?
Author	NOuvelleBlonder
Upvotes	12
Comments	65
Date	March 5, 2022 4:10 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t7153p/dating_in_the_workplace/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-in-the-workplace.1104072 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104072

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