Does texting kill attraction?

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-07-22T21:16:08+00:00

Nah. I'm a compulsive texter in relationships, friendships, family, etc. Found no positive or negative results from it.

Imo just like being nice or mean it is orthogonal to attractiveness.

Girls like assholes and low volume texters when they're hot, girls like nice guys and high volume texters when they're hot. Simple. And ofc, same thing in the gender swapped scenario.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-07-22T21:13:40+00:00

My LTR of 7 years started after a month+ of texting back and forth so ymmv

IcarusKiki · 2021-07-23T01:01:05+00:00

I personally hate texting and its why i broke up w my LDR bf. He wanted to text all day and i just dont get into "conversations" over text. For me texting is for memes and logistics, maybe a short aside or two. Facetime or nothing.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-07-22T22:20:50+00:00

It's not the texting. It's how you text

Text too much and you might come off desperate.

Text too little and you come off as not interested.

Content of texts matter too. Like are you guys having a good conversation, as if you were irl? Or are you word vomiting? Are you an interesting texter or not? Are overspaming emojis? (girls more than guys are guilty of this).

M4sterDis4ster · 2021-07-22T21:39:59+00:00

If she likes you, you can chit chat as much as you want. I dont really see problem in that?

PUA is fake manuscript and it doesnt work. Met few PUA "professors", seen them in "action", saw girls reactions, learned you can never change creepiness.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-07-22T21:27:56+00:00

Not necessarily. It's the oversharing or familiarization that kills attraction. If you tell someone else everything they want to know about you, that renders their desire to know more about you pointless since they already know, and since there's no more mystery, they can't fill in the blanks with their own fantasized idealizations about you, and there's no more feelings of wanting or desire.

midwesternMD · 2021-07-22T22:59:19+00:00

Depends. I’ve texted a lot, I’ve texted a little. I basically match my texting intensity to hers. I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule, but I do think that less texting tends to result in better first date rates.

TrueStorms · 2021-07-22T23:37:45+00:00

Women will mess around texting and getting attention from guys they have no plans to ever meet. Not even always consciously.

Texting someone when you’re in a relationship but are both at work and so on is fine.

Texting someone really early a million times in a row when they don’t reply and calling them a whore over it def will kill things.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-07-22T22:20:42+00:00

yes. never let texting go on too long, push for an in person meeting ASAP or drop the attention whore

4D-Alien · 2021-07-22T21:41:57+00:00

yes. if ur too available it kills attraction, if you over text it kills attraction, if ur too needy it kills attraction.

gotta be unavailable, mysterious, and make her wonder and get excited for the next time you are available.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-07-22T21:44:23+00:00

I only use texts to set up in person meetings. I prefer to call or FaceTime though, it’s more personal.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-07-22T21:46:20+00:00

I prefer phone calls and voice notes if we can't interact more directly. It's not even about not being a bad texter. I can write interesting things for days.

Texting is just devoid of sensation and senses. I am more into having my senses simulated as well.

A man sending me a voice note through out the day makes me gtfo and get home faster, ya dig.

Emervila · 2021-07-22T22:27:03+00:00

As usual The Red Pill takes over and beats blue pill (FUA) and wackos (FDS)

Face to face in person is the best and top preferred communication for any dating approach. Texting should happen around and always as secondary, a nice complement to direct interaction.

If you can't see her, you can text her but first to ask her if you can video call or phone call her... communication has to be always direct.

Murphysmongoose · 2021-07-22T22:27:26+00:00

Hey OP, after seeing your username, and remembering what I think I recall is your admitted "personality quark," we'll call it... This (texting) may be your best bet to happy medium work around with guys, to get what you want.

You say/ admit that you think you get a little too inquisitive maybe, and sometimes might come off a bit interrogating even, possibly.

You could probably turn this into sort of a text game; think about how to word your question as amusingly as possible, then inset some snarky (but playful) comment.

I get the impression (well guess) that the types of guys you go for aren't very fragile on their ego, so you can have playfully pushing buttons actually work for you.

InB4: "bUh dudes with big/lots of options don't have to deal with shit test- they can just next to the next one..." BS.

That's why shit test exist, for women to, "test his metal" on if he's man enough/secure enough/confident enough in himself to take a little jabbing and keep his cool.

I'm just betting the kinds of guys you usually are attracted to would respond well if you did it playfully enough. You may just come off too cold and borderline confrontational.

DisastrousSundae · 2021-07-22T23:06:03+00:00

I'm a woman and too many texts from a guy is annoying unless we're already in a committed relationship.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-07-23T00:38:18+00:00

I think this is a tough one. It probably depends on the two people.

As a general rule, based on the data we have, I think that if you are concerned about maintaining attraction, then maybe you and your partner should explicitly try not to spend more time together than is needed to maintain desire and maintain logistic functionality.

Each of you should have your own support network. You don't need to be each other's best friend, or certainly not primary and day to day best friend. One relationship should not bear the burden of being everything. Don't slip into a routine. Don't talk or text to each other constantly.

Do other things like don't walk around the house unclothed all the time. Don't pee with the door open. Don't share a bathroom in the morning, etc. Don't get accustomed to each other's naked bodies. Don't solve each other's day to day issues.

Divide household duties and keep your own domains. Try to keep things separate as much as you can because you will still spend plenty of time together. No need to overdo it.

If you have the money, I'm not sure about separate bedrooms.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-07-23T00:43:31+00:00

I mean it can, I prefer texting the phone calls because well I mainly hate talking on the phone and texting, unless it's something super important, it's just more convenient in general.

But can texting kill attraction? Yes some people are turned off if you text too much, too early , you don't text enough, a girl I know even stopped talking to a guy because he texted with shit grammar😂

merlinscalculator · 2021-07-23T07:37:10+00:00

Yes. I hate texting. I’d rather not text all day and have a phone call at the end of the night or just wait till you see them in person. I hate people that feel the need to be in contact 24/7. Let them miss you. Allow yourself the space to miss them. Save some conversation topics for in person. I only text to make plans or to ask someone what the best time to call them is.

SnowHatesWome · 2021-07-22T21:30:19+00:00

Availability kills attraction. Think about it, things that are rare are more valuable. Companies will purposely destroy goods and foods as opposed to donate them to underserved communities to artificially keep their prices high (God I fucking love capitalism).

But yea if a person feels like you’ll always be there, then they don’t have to work for you. Sucks that’s how humans work but it is what it is.

Girl right now I fancy. I like everything about her and want to text her all the time, but I know that if I do I’ll lose her 😔

Murphysmongoose · 2021-07-22T21:25:41+00:00

You can actually get away with more texting than talking at first. You can say things in writing with an lol or emoji that would probably not go over so well so fast verbally.

Less putting her on the spot for an immediate answer or having to replay to it. Put a little, "I'm sorry, tmi too soon/too fast lol. Just got carried away😳" Funny change of subject comment immediately, then she later playfully answers/replies to whatever dirty comment you made.

DaddyCindric · 2021-07-22T21:30:13+00:00

The most attraction I’ve ever received from women was from texting people who lived across the world from me so I’d argue not.

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-07-22T22:28:21+00:00

I don't carry my phone on me at work and at home it often sits on a shelf in another room. It's blown some potential first dates because I didn't reply quickly enough maybe.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2021-07-22T22:49:51+00:00

I don't like texting very much and I don't understand how these people who spend hours every day on their phones spending texts don't go completely insane.

If I have a lot to say, I will say it to you in person or call you if that's not possible. I won't send you a wall of text or voice message (that's what I hate most by far).

I mostly find texting to be a hassle. It's gotten much better since we have been able to send and receive from a desktop workstation, but it's still annoying. The only people who can expect a reply "immediately once I am a available" are my parents and my girlfriend (of many years). I consider these channels an ongoing conversation extended from our regular meetings. Everybody else just knows I will reply within a day if I feel like it. If it's urgent or important, call me.

At the time you don't know somebody all too well, texting leaves a lot of room for interpretation. Women are masters at turning a single line of text into a movie in their heads.

I once had a girl think things were over because she didn't like my tone of how I sent "Okay." -- this would never have happened on the phone or in person.

goatismycopilot · 2021-07-22T22:51:34+00:00

I text to touch base or make plans. I find much more than that annoying. The only exception is my oldest friend who lives at a big distance we text back and forth all the time.

In dating it doesn't do much for me either way.

wtknight · 2021-07-23T00:08:21+00:00

I text to chitchat all the time, since I used to chat in old-time chatrooms. I'm pretty good at it, and I can't say it has ever killed anyone's attraction for me. Actually, a couple of times it was meeting and realizing that we didn't click in person that eventually killed the attraction.

Ralman23 · 2021-07-23T00:48:32+00:00

Maybe on the first time you meet and going to places like meeting the in-laws and etc... but if you're in different locations (especially since the pandemic was going on last year) then Zoom calls, texting, phone calls, and so on would be beneficial there.

NockerJoe · 2021-07-23T00:55:42+00:00

Not texting much worked for me. I don't get it and don't like being that way but that gets me the best consistently, go figure.

uncertainkoala · 2021-07-23T01:08:47+00:00

I’m an FDS follower but I love texting lol. I think by double text, they mean don’t bombard him with texts. imo men should be initiating ~60% of texts, but I am always quick to respond and will initiate the next conversation. I like to be pursued.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-07-23T01:29:39+00:00

It’s kind of an individual thing. Like personally I like to keep in touch through text, I enjoy getting messages from the person I’m seeing through the day. But I don’t like super texters who text back in .5 seconds and expect you to too, double and triple text if you don’t, or send huge long messages. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

yungthrowaway97 · 2021-07-23T04:14:27+00:00

For initial stage yes. The less texting the better. After in a relationship well people will go to their usual habits. And from their if your texting and communication habits are compatible things will go well. If not one partner will feel overwhelmed and the other will feel neglected.

Blackheart201992 · 2021-07-23T07:26:57+00:00

Nah, man. I was (slightly) better looking in my younger days - full head of hair, tall for my age, etc. Some of the best times I had were exchanging dirty texts with this a girl I used to know who vacationed in the same place we did. We never actually did anything, but damn, that shit was intense - wouldn't trade it for anything.

801735 · 2021-07-23T08:49:25+00:00

Does texting kill attraction?

Only if more is desired (and not gifted, because she just doesn't get it).

All the rules around texting is just a load of BS. If she likes you she'll show it directly, not some "IOI" BS, and will do her part to making things she likes happen. At least that's my experience. And if/when she doesn't, it's fine, NEXT!

But guys need to be taught how to be defective girls, so of course there will be numerous "2341234124 signs that she's into you"-esque farticles floating around at any given time. And while the chump (female AND male, mind you) is reading it and is fapping to the fantasy of being "the ultra brainiac texting jeaniejuice", the normally+ socially competent ones are on a date and failing their way to success.

The question is really simple: Are you on dates and vetting or not? It's a yes/no question, no need to overthink before you answer, but those who aren't on dates will definitely overthink it and even try to man/femsplain the "pain" (it's really cowardice, for females and males alike) away. And it's fine, maybe they just need more time, maybe with enough time passing, they'll be younger or sth magical like that, who knows.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-07-23T12:04:09+00:00

Texting is fine, but if you have to choose between texting too little or texting too much. I’d text a chick too little and a guy too much. Trust me when I say nobody is texting her more than dudes who will never bang her.

But that’s just BS science and you gotta tailor that based on who you’re trying to attract at the time.

Painfulmenstruation · 2021-07-24T01:44:00+00:00

Texting for chit chat does kill attraction because you don’t get to experience the other person during text communication. You don’t get to hear their voice, hear their tone, it’s completely devoid of intimacy.

Red pill is wrong about making plans via text. It’s much more efficient to make plans via a phone call. It takes a fraction of the time and it’s more personal.

It seems like red pill tactics are designed specifically to turn women off. I’d assume a man wasn’t that romantically interested in me if he primarily communicated with me via text and I’d drop him.

Woko127 · 2021-07-24T12:21:58+00:00

Voice notes are the way for me. It's too easy to misinterpret shit by text and its pretty impersonal considering that this is someone that you don't know yet.

pubgmisc · 2021-07-24T14:25:30+00:00

If you it right, no it’s doesn’t

Mundane_Potential454 · 2021-07-27T13:38:16+00:00

Not the texting it self, but how you text, actually.

Let's say you have a scheduled date 5 days from now. What many guys do in this situation, is texting the girl daily (somedays, even more than once), with irrelevant and trivial things. Small talk. They are trying to not be "forgotten" and have the date cancelled. But this could very well get the girl annoyed, since it conveys neediness, and thus, it could make her cancel the date.

Less is more.

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Title	Does texting kill attraction?
Author	KickKathleeenKennedy
Upvotes	16
Comments	82
Date	July 22, 2021 9:11 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/opn75x/does_texting_kill_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-texting-kill-attraction.793906 https://theredarchive.com/post/793906

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