Excessive promiscuity often has a negative effect on a man's ability to commit

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-08-14T13:29:40+00:00

On their "ability" to? Or desire to

SerpOfZerk · 2015-08-14T11:06:59+00:00

I personally don't want to judge people based on their past and I'm willing to give anyone a chance

Stop doing this, its the dumbest fucking thing ever

f3yleaf · 2015-08-14T13:40:17+00:00

Had sex with too many drunk girls who had boyfriends or were married to want to commit myself, Also once a guy has slept with enough women a girl really has to have some real value aside from a vagina, like a good personality and stuff.

Many inexperienced guys are ready to commit to any girl who gives him sex.

edit: but there is no real gender symmetry here, a guy with options and experience is usually more attractive, thats why dread game works, and a guy who has slept with alot of girls is less likely to get a serious midlife crisis. A girl who shows she has option will either make a guy depressed or make him up his game and "hit the gym", essentially its one of the few shit tests I can appreciate and that may be mutually benificial to a degree.

Archwinger · 2015-08-14T14:11:22+00:00

A better way to phrase this CMV would be "Excessive promiscuity often has a negative effect on a man's ability to refrain from future promiscuity."

Promiscuous men may still be very successful men. Some may even have very successful relationships. The fact is, right or wrong, women and society do not punish and shun promiscuous men. These men get laid, and many women try to lock these men down in relationships. Logically, we'd expect promiscuity to be a huge turn-off, and that eventually, women would stop giving these man-sluts the time of day. But it doesn't pan out that way. Sure, some women won't touch a guy like that, but when you put a promiscuous man-slut next to a sexually conservative nice dude, the man-slut gets a lot more female attention. The sexually conservative nice dude doesn't just end up having less sex by choice. He ends up with fewer sexual opportunities overall.

However, men love somewhat differently than women. A man might have 50 mistresses and still love his wife dearly, come home to her every night, and be unable to imagine not having her in his life. I'm not saying a guy like this is a good man or that his marriage is all that great, but the CMV is specifically referencing "a man's ability to commit" and his ability to "remain loyal."

A man can commit to a woman, stay loyal to her, love her, and still cheat on her sexually. She ought to dump his ass, but that's a different issue. Is this man who's cheating sexually but still loves his wife/LTR and wants to stay with her "committed" to her? Is he "loyal" to her? In a way yes.

If we phrased this CMV "A man-slut is more likely to cheat on a partner", that's a no-brainer. But when we phrase it, "A man-slut can't commit or be loyal", that's a touchier question, depending on how you define commitment and loyalty. Many men who cheat remain committed to their relationships.

[deleted] · 2015-08-14T11:58:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

trp132 · 2015-08-14T13:20:56+00:00

I'm not going to change your view because I agree. The effect has an effect on both sexes. There are some studies which purport that the effect is reduced in men, but there's not a lot of evidence to support it/it's inconclusive.

Whisper · 2015-08-14T18:43:36+00:00

Can't say. My girl is quite happy with sharing so long as she gets enough.

Envy is wanting what someone else has. Jealousy is fear that someone else will take what you have.

MorpheusGodOfDreams · 2015-08-14T19:59:39+00:00

problem is that "excessive" is vastly different between the sexes.

Wolfwoodd · 2015-08-14T14:20:16+00:00

Red pill-ish guy here. I was very promiscuous before I met my wife. She was also fairly promiscuous, but honest about it. We are now swingers and both very happy with our relationship.

TRP likes to shit on swinging and open relationships, but the reality is that most guys in "the lifestyle" are pretty alpha and happy with their relationships. Just say'n.

PemBayliss · 2015-08-14T12:59:42+00:00

Source?

As we all know from BPers, no proposition is valid unless it is supported by a double blind, random controlled, peer reviewed published study.

Why is this even being dignified with a response if there's no scientific source for it?

qdegtjulo · 2015-08-14T09:38:04+00:00

I personally don't want to judge people based on their past

You should. Your past decisions are the best way to determine what kind of person you are and if you have anything of merit. If all your decisions were the easiest possible at the time and you have a history of quitting when things get hard than I'm justified in my conclusion you're not a hard worker. And if you always end up cheating on someone I'm justified to conclude you're not the most faithful person, no matter what you say.

The "game" has become a habit and they aren't able to commit to one women even if they want to.

The game is getting them to bed, not actually fucking them. You might still chat up a few women here and there but you are way less likely to do anything concrete than your wife is if she has a similar partner count. And divorce rates, notice how men don't drop off like women do.

DaThrowaway808 · 2015-08-14T17:29:05+00:00

I disagree. If it did women wouldn't date ex-PUAs.

Dietyz · 2015-08-14T19:09:06+00:00

I think that the reason a male may be promiscuous exists in all men so you cannot avoid it(ego/spreading seed instinct/sexual validation/alpha self perception)

The traits/desires/mindsets that would lead a woman to being promiscuous isn't default in all women, if you can avoid something that you deem negative why wouldn't you?

I agree with you about the pair bonding op, but I think it would be more based on how impulsive the male is and how many opportunities he has currently rather than based on past promiscuity

winndixie · 2015-08-14T19:49:42+00:00

Let me reveal one thing. It is EASY for a guy to commit, it's a decision made like any other. If the girl is attractive enough and will provide a stable source of sex, the guy CAN make the decision to not cheat and commit.

What you have is the disparity between he have and have nots. You, as a woman, only want an alpha male to commit, but he "has a lot", so why would he? A beta male would in a snap of a finger, but you don't want him. We tend to give those who are successful even more meanwhile depriving those who are have nots. Rich get richer, poor get poorer the earth still turns.

What women want is not commitment. They want alpha commitment. They'll settle for alpha time, and if not alpha sex, alpha attention. See what's in common? What women want is not "commitment".

CisWhiteMaelstrom · 2015-08-14T13:12:47+00:00

Obviously it does. The thing is, you know he's a damn good man for being able to be promiscuous. With a chick, you just know she spreads her legs easy.

RPmatrix · 2015-08-14T15:29:11+00:00

I agree, however,, you need to ask yourself "why the guy is so promiscuous in the first place"

The answers are rarely what you think, it has a lot to do with 'self validation'

damaskrose · 2015-08-15T00:35:06+00:00

I don't know if this is true, and I also don't care, because I wouldn't date them either way. I prefer to be with people who share a similar lifestyle and belief system to my own, and promiscuous men aren't compatible with my personal (not religious) beliefs about sex. Plus, there's just something about promiscuity which turns me off.

You don't need to justify your preferences based on judgements about people's past, or predictions about their future. If you don't want to date somebody then just don't. It's not about them being a "bad partner"; someone who is a bad partner for you might be great for someone else. It's about compatibility.

RichardPalma · 2015-08-15T02:42:24+00:00

I'm not even sure it has an effect on women. We've seen one study that suggests a correlation, but we don't know if there is a hidden factor that causes a woman to both be less able to commit (or be happy in commitment) and this also cause her to find many partners. Simply stated, while finding someone's N might give you insight into how well they commit, setting an experiment where a person artificially increases their N doesn't have a known result. Even then, you'd need to account for the selection bias in who would sign up for such an experiment.

wazzup987 · 2015-08-14T11:16:25+00:00

radical common sense concept humans aren't monogomous

Maoist-Pussy · 2015-08-14T18:35:11+00:00

Committing is easy. Staying uncommitted takes real ability.

Title	Excessive promiscuity often has a negative effect on a man's ability to commit
Author	HappilySingleWoman
Upvotes	21
Comments	190
Date	August 14, 2015 9:15 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3gygtf/excessive_promiscuity_often_has_a_negative_effect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/excessive-promiscuity-often-has-a-negative-effect.280323 https://theredarchive.com/post/280323

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