Young men struggling to date should quit any form of “quick and easy” methods of finding a relationship, not only if they want a stable, long-lasting, and loving relationship where both they and their partner understand each other deeply; but also if they more easily want to get a relationship to begin with. Let me explain.

Imo you should attempt to date only a woman whom with you already feel an emotional connection to, and who genuinely understands you on a personal and intellectual level. I don’t know why this is so taboo, but these women will disproportionately be people that you see on a daily basis (like a coworker, a classmate, a fellow member in a chess club, or even a friend), not some random person at the gym or on an app.

Of course, there’s nuance; if your gut tells you that there’s a weak emotional connection, or if there’s no apparent mutual romantic attraction, then obviously don’t ask for a date. But trust me, you will waste so much time and will put your sense of self-worth in jeopardy by swiping through dating apps like an idiot or “cold approaching” women going about their day. I’ll say this, though: nearly all my friends who found stable relationships were already friends with their girlfriends before.