Nice Girl TM

GinSmokeLies · 2018-01-05T15:48:12+00:00

You do this a lot where your thread title and body have nothing to do with one another. "Cool girls" and "girls who get strung along" might have some overlap but really these are two different topics.

Anyway, I'm the user whose comment you quoted and I think you're being a little disingenuous here. For one thing, I specifically replied to you that I wasn't talking about sending animal pics and memes, so why you're pretending that's what I was talking about is beyond me.

Second, yes, sending someone "Hope you're having a good day" is a very boyfriendly thing to do, and I think you know that. The point of friends with benefits is that they are your FRIEND who you have sex with when you're both feeling up for it. Tell me Smoogs, do you send all your friends midday "Thinking of you" texts? If so, that's weird. If not, do you see why a girl might interpret this as you thinking of her as MORE than a friend?

Memes and jokes, okay, fine. That's something friends do. Out of the blue "Thinking of you" type texts are something boyfriends and girlfriends do. This is why things get confusing.

Lastly, I also said "acting like a boyfriend." This can include a wide range of behaviors -- bringing her along to social functions, buying her thoughtful gifts, letting her cook for you (or cooking for her) etc. Then when the girl starts the "What are we?" talk, the guy acts dumbfounded and says "What do you mean? We're just friends. This is casual."

Now don't get me wrong, if a girl gets this kind of response and keeps hooking up with him hoping he'll come around, that's on her for being an idiot, and again I have given advice to that effect to several of my friends. But let's not pretend guys are so naive as to not know when they're acting "boyfriendly" as opposed to just friendly.

wtknight · 2018-01-05T15:35:15+00:00

What personality traits lead a woman to being fuck-zoned?

Some guys are going to fuck zone women automatically just because they are not ready for a relationship. But for a guy who is ready for one, but still fuck zones an FWB, I'd say most likely it's either because she is too clingy for his tastes, or she isn't hot enough for him and he is holding out for a hotter woman.

Clinginess, in my opinion, is a measure of relative attraction between men and women. If a guy is obsessing over a woman, he's not going to mind clinginess at all because he's going to want her to be around him almost all of the time. But if he's only kind of into a woman, but she is really into him, then she is going to come across as clingy and likely be "fuckzoned" by the typical guy. On the other hand, a man more into a woman than she is to him and becoming "clingy" is likely to just be rejected or ghosted by the woman.

caesarfecit · 2018-01-05T16:06:43+00:00

I had a long distance thing once with a girl I used to go to school with. She was hella into me and regularly sending me all kinds of sexy stuff. She wanted me to come see her, said it would just be sex and whatever, but I knew it wasn't true.

I hadn't misrepresented myself, I told her that I didn't think we were romantically compatible and I didn't want to have a sexual thing with her if it meant her getting the wrong idea, and that me going to see her wouldn't be easy for me logistically and she shouldn't get her hopes up.

She still got hurt when I never did visit her and she broke things off. I still feel guilty about it, but I'm not sure what else I could have done other than insist we be strictly platonic and because we'd already fooled around before, that honestly seemed silly and insulting.

If you want to call her a "Nice Girl", you could, but I don't think that's really fair. She was a good friend and things were a little confusing between us. If I had been brutally honest, I would have told her that we could have had a thing back when we first met, but she banged a bunch of guys in between us first meeting and us becoming more than friends so that kinda put the kibosh on us being romantic. But that also seemed cruel. And the truth was we weren't romantically compatible because she was too needy. But it's hard to be that brutally honest with someone, especially when you know all too well what you mean to them.

Sometimes this is just life, and having been on both sides of the friendzone/fuckzone, I know that ambiguity and neediness causes it much more often than deception and manipulation.

TrueRustyShackleford · 2018-01-05T16:42:49+00:00

That's not what I would call a Nice Girl (TM). That's just a dumb "ho". Trying to get men through sex, knowing they can't get the man through other ways is an incredibly stupid and self-destructive strategy. They need tough love, not sympathy.

I've known of situations where they're sleeping together and he's acting like a boyfriend, sending her cute texts etc. but is unwilling to actually label the relationship

"not putting a label on the relationship" = rejection. How desperate are these women that they don't get that? And how spineless do they have to be to not demand that he puts a label on it or she walks away?

Also, she's not entitled to any specific man's commitment.

reluctantly_red · 2018-01-05T16:22:45+00:00

When a woman says she's "not like those other bitches" its a sure sign she's even worse. Run!

wracky272 · 2018-01-05T15:41:00+00:00

Just like with the case of the friend-zone, there are way too many variables to just say "that's appropriate" or "that's inappropriate".

The common ground between the two, is that we have an adult unwilling to communicate their expectations, and then getting angry when the other person isn't fulfilling their fantasy.

It's nobody else's responsibility to fulfill your fantasies, whether that's sex, or a relationship.

theambivalentrooster · 2018-01-05T15:32:52+00:00

It’s sneaky dishonest males stringing along women by teasing them with cutsie bf behavior when they are really just trying to keep that pussy wet so he can keep her sexually available to him.

truedemocracy3 · 2018-01-05T16:00:44+00:00

Traits that lead to men being friend zoned - being weak, not being assertive, being overcaring, putting women on a pedestal.

Traits that lead to a woman being fuckzoned - shitty personality, likes to party a lot, boring or dull, doesnt bring anything else to the table, being bad with finances, putting 'getting into a relationship' on a pedestal.

As far as sending cute texts and engaging in 'boyfriend dates' - no, this is not 'leading a girl on' or tricking someone about a relationship. Even fuckzoned girls will have enough self respect to not reply to a guy solely when he texts her about a bang. Sometimes a guy enjoys a girls company but not enough to want a relationship. Taking fuckzone girls out to dinner, to parties, going to events, etc. is all pretty normal behavior. Until you have defined the relationship you cant really expect anything.

The only behaviors I would say that cross the line would be taking a girl to meet your parents or family. Something like that is, or should be, only reserved for those you are pursuing a relationship over. Maybe other things like going on a combined vacation, or overly romantic gestures (picnic, etc.) would fall into that bucket.

But sending goofy texts? No way.

Eastuss · 2018-01-05T15:27:20+00:00

It's just their expectations being crushed and the fault being rejected on men. Women absolutely want things to be binary: it's just sex or it's complete commitment. Terpies achieve to spin plate look nothing less than just a dude with several long term girlfriends.

no one has ever thought that maybe, if you enjoy time spent with someone, and the relation isn't closed, maybe you could keep it up without trying to label it something? Do you enjoy or not spending time with him? As simple as that.

otherwise, the traits that lead to being fuck zoned is pretty much just the fact they go with a man who has options and isn't giving his exclusivity... But pretty sure nice girls aren't only one of these, they're also the "pumped and dumped" girls who think they're hot shit, are bad at sex, and are abusive.

frightynight · 2018-01-05T17:57:11+00:00

[deleted]

Prince-Noctis · 2018-01-05T15:34:41+00:00

Fuck-zoned. I like it.

Friends-with-benefits is a dangerous territory I don't suggest to anyone. Stick with one night stands. Regardless, I think this situation occurs when the female invests in a male, but is unable to directly confront the situation due to her anxiety. Her unwillingness to confront the scenario directly prolongs her confusion yet simultaneously reassures her because the scenario continues. It leads to a horribly communicated, cataclysmic explosion of feeling disappointed, embarrassed and misled.

I'd place neurotic emotionally unstable females at being the most susceptible to this behavior--the type that play up making you feel like the worst guy on the planet. Another type that be predisposed to this is likely the narcissistic female--her feeling of embarrassment and entitlement would lead to a vengeful retaliation.

Men, women--don't lead people on. Be straight and forward about your relationship intentions and avoid these scenarios.

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Maikowski2 · 2018-01-07T11:36:11+00:00

As many already noted, nice girls do not have casual sex. Nice girls either withhold sex until relationship happens (making you jump through tons of hoops) out of it or has sex one, get dumped and then become feminists.

Electra_Cute · 2018-01-05T16:15:35+00:00

This post is reflective of this a sort of narcissistic tendency where everyone thinks that every event that happens to them is somehow in their control, and if one person rejects them, then it had something to do with them and not the person who rejected them.

This whole “f*ckzone” thing is one of those. It could have had nothing to do with the female, she could have done literally everything right and the male may not be interested in pursuing a further relationship with anyone, it could have had nothing to do with her, same goes if the genders are reversed.

Life is not so binary and you are not in complete control of your fate, if only things were as simple as your presentation.

The other thing you are doing is placing a lot of value on your personal anecdotes, which are observed and processed through your own bias and incomplete interpretations of scenerios. You do not have all of the details of these situations, nor are you providing any context in your anecdotes. “I saw females doing this, therefore it shows X”, it makes sense logically and t is simple, it is just so incomplete and flawed.

goatismycopilot · 2018-01-05T15:35:43+00:00

It seems like two different subjects are being conflated? Because "cool girls" may get rejected and normal women might get rejected and both cool girls and normal women might get hurt by rejection but women who get hurt by rejection are not necessarily the cool girl subset. Cool girls are those retarded mythical manic pixie dream girls who like to fuck and do man stuff but look like super hot feminine laydee people. A woman who told me she was not like other girls would not be in my friend group because actually those women project and cause a lot of girl drama by trying super hard not to be like other girls so they are bullshit artists.

Title	Nice Girl TM
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	20
Comments	213
Date	January 5, 2018 3:20 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7obtnq/nice_girl_tm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/nice-girl-tm.264132 https://theredarchive.com/post/264132

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