What would end a relationship?

Mimoxs · 2020-11-11T03:41:09+00:00

We're often conditioned into thinking that flaking on dates, being mean, and just treating her like she's not worth much to you would make her want to leave you. But, in my experience this makes her want you even more. This is obviously backed by Red pill knowledge.

I think the thing that so so so so many men misunderstand is the difference between clinging and genuinely wanting someone. I've been in both scenarios.

Men who do these things tend to target vulnerable prey - low self esteem girls, sheltered and naive girls, "broken" girls, generally any girl without a backbone who defaults to seeing everything as her own fault. Being mean to these girls absolutely does work. They question themselves, they assume they're doing something wrong, they want to fix it because above all they are pleasers who can't stand the idea of not being good enough. Yes you can string a girl along this way. But she is not happy, she's miserable.

There is a big difference between that and a girl genuinely lusting after a man, wanting him, and desiring him while simultaneously feeling good and confident about herself, genuinely happy.

Idk I feel like the whole "women like men being mean to them!" Thing is people who have never heard of domestic abuse bc that whole idea is like... Abusive relationship 101. That's literally how that works lol. And women do it to men too. The red pill method of being mean to get her devotion and loyalty is frequently used by abusive parents towards their children, it's used in boss-employee relationships, it's used in all sorts of places bc it works. It's not woman magic. It's human psychology.

pinacolorada · 2020-11-11T00:25:55+00:00

[deleted]

philomexa · 2020-11-11T01:02:43+00:00

My ex and I broke up because he wanted me to become something I'm not: a fem-brained catholic broodmare that was subservient to his sister and mother.

He thought I was a project, and that with time + pressure I'd sublimate myself into his old world machismo Hispanic culture.

I left another ex because he was sOoOoOoo busy that I more than enough time to build a life and friendships (that lead to relationships) away from him.

2020-11-11T00:09:24+00:00

I left my ex boyfriend because he started telling me that my aspirations are unimportant and unreasobable (they were much more reasobable than his). I didn't know he was like that untill our third year in high school, when we started choosing career paths. I didn't listen to him, because I was used to being talked to like this. I have shitty men in my family, and I learned to ignore what they say. I would do what I want despite my boyfriend's opinion (he justin didn't want me to do something ambitious, now I see it).

Then he started to make fun of me, criticize me and punished me by being silent. I didn't care because my father treated my mom like this, my brother treated me like this, so my mom showed me how to not give a fuck about their moods. So I left.

SmurfESmurferson · 2020-11-11T02:59:48+00:00

My marriage ended because of his issue with alcohol, and related issues

spacechicken1990 · 2020-11-11T04:51:53+00:00

I left my last bf because of a lack of sex, after 3 months I was like nah dude I’m out.

Also the fact he was gaslighting me & shaming me for having a high sex drive. (which he knew about from the beginning!)

poppy_blu · 2020-11-11T00:20:55+00:00

it’s backed by RP knowledge because RP attracts and was actually built for nice guys traumatized upon learning that pedestalizing and worshipping women doesn’t work. For these guys, these are asshole behaviors. For most people these just the normal quirky behaviors of normal people.

when you say “treating her badly” here what they envision is stuff like not texting her back immediately, not being at her beck and call, not acting like she’s the center of your universe, asserting your own needs. I was once told that telling her a dirty joke is asshole behavior.

You’re also doing what alot of people do here which is conflating attraction, dating and LTR as if they’re the same. A certain amount of so called beta is required to maintain a long term committed partnership.

Throwawayforshitt · 2020-11-11T02:35:53+00:00

All my relationships ended because I left. In most cases, I just Had Enough and that is true for many women. We reach a point where putting up with his flaws is no longer worth the hassle and the attraction is usually long dead. Women leave after they have emotionally checked out, so it takes a while.

octocombo · 2020-11-11T02:23:49+00:00

This is a really leading question in asking specifically for “beta” traits that would make women want to leave a relationship.

Every reason I have ever dumped a guy who I had a longterm relationship (longterm FWB or more serious):

1) He wouldn’t spend time with me outside of school (or have sex with me) because his parents wanted him to spend more time studying until his grades improved. (This was in high school.)

2) I found out that he had been lying to me about being single when we got together, and he had only dumped the other girl a week after I started dating him. I didn’t mind that he had been with her, but I didn’t want to be with a liar. And he really hurt the other girl.

3) He started talking about marriage two months into the relationship and I gradually realized he was more religious than I’d thought when we first started going out. I have zero interest in someone who’s religious.

4) He had sex with my girlfriend while she was too drunk to consent. She didn’t call it rape, but I would.

5) We just went our separate ways when he needed to move across the country and I needed to stay where I was.

The only one of these which I would classify as “beta” behavior at all is #1.

_mwk · 2020-11-11T07:23:40+00:00

it's always been a death by a thousands cuts in the relationships i ended : he said something hurtful once and I never let it go, so when he does something annoying the next time its extra annoying, and this builds up until i cant stand them anymore.

Cimorene86 · 2020-11-11T10:40:24+00:00

Deal-breakers for me:

Abuse, either physical or mental
I find out he used to do this to other people/animals
Non-medical drug use or alcoholism
Constantly flaking on previously agreed upon dates
Bad hygiene
General treating me as inferior/superior, not equal

801735 · 2020-11-11T00:14:05+00:00

Being irresponsible. Childishness. Emotional immaturity. Lack of planning. Lack of loyalty. Consistently poor decision making. Insensitivity/tactlessness. Lack of trying

rubbooyuri · 2020-11-11T04:47:35+00:00

Lazy, man child dependence, aka “make me a list/nag me!”

Hell, no; you’re an adult too

That’s literally the only reason

tiposk · 2020-11-11T03:27:28+00:00

Speaking from my own experience:

One was incredibly intense, both sexually and emotionally, and wanted too much way too soon. Also, I had to beg him to wear a condom. He didn't want to use protection and only did because I threatened to leave. We had sex only once and I decided to put a stop to everything shortly afterwards because I lost whatever attraction I had towards him.

Another one invited me on a date, kissed me and than invited me to a hotel. I wasn't looking for casual sex at the time and respectfully declined so he could find someone who was on the same page as he. Sometime later (weeks or months), he reached out to apologize because he realized I was not "that kind of girl". Men who sleep around but look down on women who do the same fucking disgust me. It just tells me that they don't see sex as their responsibility as well. I went on one more date with him trying to convince myself that this is normal behavior and should be tolerated, but I couldn't do it. He called me a couple of times more but I declined his advances.

There was also a guy who was incredibly jealous. He would get mad when I didn't pick up the phone and believed that I was in contact with an ex-, a man I hadn't seen nor heard from in almost three years. He would tell me stories about his ex-girlfriends and all of them involved another man, real or imaginary. I just got tired of his crap and dumped him.

ItIsnt0verYet · 2020-11-11T04:29:45+00:00

I moved far away and couldn't justify keeping the relationship knowing he wanted kids and i didn't.

merlinscalculator · 2020-11-11T02:52:48+00:00

Trying to change me. We’ll start dating, I’m completely honest about what I’m like, and then they think I’ll become a totally different person when I’m in a relationship. This goes for things like what I wear, the fact that I smoke/drink/recreationally use drugs, go out, travel a lot, work a lot, am very opinionated. When they start dating me knowing those things, but then get upset that I don’t change my entire life and personality when I’m with them, it pisses me off. It’s fine to want someone that doesn’t do those things - date them instead. Why waste everyone’s time.

Maleficent-Kaiba · 2020-11-11T03:24:32+00:00

I left my first boyfriend because I treated me like shit. Negging was as close as I ever got to a compliment. I had been a femcel so I put up with it think he was my only option, as soon as some one else showed interest I was out of there.

The second was LTR and again abusive but I trapped myself with him, he wasn’t violent and his abuse was purely again negging behaviours/breaking down my confidence and self esteem. I stuck again because I had no where else to go and was terrified of returning to my femcel ways. Being undesired makes you an easy target for abuse

The third guy was a cheater which was a shame because he was the most supportive man I had ever met despite not being conventional material. Ex drug addict, no job, not very attractive etc. If it weren’t for cheating on me I would have stayed with him through thick and thin

My last relationship was with a guy way out of my league. (No idea how that happened) He was respectful and generally quite amazing. However he could do better (much prettier than me) so when better came along he dumped my ass. So I guess you could say he was shallow and a bit of a user. He was with me because it was convenient at the time, despite two years together of pretty much worshipping him he dropped me without a second thought or even an apology 🤷🏼‍♀️

nucleargnomes · 2020-11-11T09:42:37+00:00

Had a partner that kept trying to emotionally manipulate me.

Didn't really work, he seemed to grow out of it. 5 years later and he started trying again, but much worse. Lying, being aggressive, secretive, then blamed me for my distance and said he wanted to break up. I took him up on his offer and it turns out he was bluffing.

Tldr: manipulation, lying, hyperaggression

Alt927782294 · 2020-11-11T02:22:34+00:00

Not actually liking me, just using me for sex or something.

Specifically bluepilled stuff? I guess if a guy collects toys or something, because that’s so childish. But I feel like that’s something I would know before

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NarniaFox · 2020-11-11T04:38:46+00:00

As a teen I had one long-distance "relationship". We've never met personally as we lived in different parts of our country. It was nice, we supported each other through exam period, but in the end he grew distant. It was the reason for a break up. I just asked whether he was still interested and when I got an indecisive answer, I ended it. I don't want to be with a person who isn't sure that they love me.

Your questions in the title and in the text are pretty different though. Theoretically there are lots of reasons to end relationships even if we don't touch things as cheating, abusing, addictions etc, but I'm not sure which of them would be considered as "blue pill things", so I name general reasons and you can decide whether they're blue or not.

- Change in long term plans, when it isn't possible or no one is interested in finding a compromise. For example, one wants to move to a bigger city or have a child and the other doesn't.

- Growing distant and your partner not being interested or supporting in changing it.

- Having chronical issues that both of you or one of you aren't interested in solving and that affect your relationships greatly.

- Unequal load with the partner who has it easier not being supportive or sabotaging improving the ratio. It can be financial or of domestic work and child raising.

- A partner not prioritizing you over other people. For example, a husband not supporting his wife in her conflict with his mother and the other way around. Quite a lot of marriages were ruined due to conflicts with in-laws and infantile partners.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-11T05:58:14+00:00

[removed]

relish5k · 2020-11-11T11:52:31+00:00

Emotional withdrawal. If I feel like he were to shut me out / not connect with me and it persisted despite working on the relationship /couples therapy then I would go ahead and bury the dead relationship.

Short of that, nothing. But this is in regards to a marriage.

Shirley_Schmidthoe · 2020-11-11T14:17:31+00:00

It existing—I don't do relationships and if I ever were to get in some someone I would end it.

I live my life; you live yours. It's mine; you can't have it: mine; mine; mine.

SaBahRub · 2020-11-11T18:20:43+00:00

Cheating and bangmaid-itis. That’s it for me

superlurkage · 2020-11-11T18:32:40+00:00

lying, laziness, selfishness, cheating, cruelty

RageStreak · 2020-11-11T19:21:36+00:00

I left my first LTR because I moved away for college and we weren’t compatible enough to try for long distance. He was a lovely guy but emotionally unstable at the time.

Left my second LTR because we had incompatible life ambitions. He was raised to be a doctor and will never have another job. I now work in the arts and wanted more adventure.

I did leave a casual relationship for shitty fuckboy behavior: playing me hot and cold, flirting with other girls in front of me, acting very rude and cold. No thanks. It was exhausting and not worth it. That stuff only works on girls with an appetite for drama.

I can’t say I’ve ever specifically left a relationship for beta behavior.

Diamond-Breath · 2020-11-11T19:37:15+00:00

Men with mental issues that want to dump said issues on you.

ciaotroia22 · 2020-11-16T03:10:05+00:00

Them being conservative, republican, them believing in any sort of incel or red pill ideas, not respecting boundaries, being bad communicators, being unhygienic or dirty.

wtknight · 2020-11-11T00:02:47+00:00

[removed]

Title	What would end a relationship?
Author	apemonkeyfool
Upvotes	9
Comments	97
Date	November 10, 2020 10:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jrvdbk/what_would_end_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-would-end-a-relationship.324451 https://theredarchive.com/post/324451

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