I went on a date, and paid for the impromptu drinks had because of a scheduling delay. My date offered and was thankful after I took care of the bill, and offered to get me next time. I was appreciative, but honestly had budgeted to foot the entire date.

When we arrived at the main event I asked the ticket vendor for a ticket, with card in hand, when my date inserted herself between me and them and inquired about paying for the ticket. I verbally indicated I was totally expecting&happy to pay as I invited them to the event. But she insisted.

I didn’t press further.

Their method declined twice and they resorted to cash.

It was a first date. I don’t know what her finances are like, but I know I was budgeted and happy to foot the bill tonight.

I also have gone on other first dates, where a lady that’s known me for years expresses that my inability to accept a woman’s desire to pay for their own is a red flag because there is an expectation with that.

I feel like I fumbled the night because I didn’t push hard enough against her stated desire to pay, but I also have lost connections before by pressing too hard to be the one to foot the bill.

Having women I like, respect, and am attracted to mad at me for the back and forth regarding payment sucks, but so does having a good date marred by them having trouble with a bill I’m ready and willing to cover.

So ladies, what’s the etiquette with the bill? I will step up, insist once after an offer, but if there is still pushback on separate bills, I won’t interfere because I’ve been labeled misogynistic, and told I’m leading with my wallet when doing so.

I really feel like I was in a catch-22.

I did upgrade her admittance to a multi-visit as we left, and bank transferred the cost of her single-day admission when I got home.

Needless to say, there was no walk and talk after the event. And no answer to my “I had a great time, get home safe?” text.

I know women are people, and people are different, and have had different experiences which can shape how they view these situations.

But generally, what is your rule for how many times a man insisting on paying is acceptable?

Do you feel like it’s a red flag if he does insist after you express a desire to pay?

If he expresses attraction after paying for a date, do you interpret that as him feeling entitled to your affection for a date?

There is so much conflicting opinions that I’m honestly exasperated.

I’ve considered that I should have gotten the ticket before hand, but as my date was an hour late, and I moved our reservation twice, I felt it was prudent to wait till she showed up to purchase admission.

edit;

Seems the consensus is:

Seperate cheques indicates a bad date or going seperate ways. I don’t know why I didn’t clue in to that. Thank you all.