Why the hate for "Pick Me's"?

sparksjoy · 2019-06-15T05:34:42+00:00

Similar to the hate for white knights.

They are perceived as shallowly signaling a certain set of values to get laid. "Pick Me's" signal a different set of values in order to seem commitment-worthy. To a bunch of strangers. On the Internet.

nemma88 · 2019-06-15T09:13:31+00:00

I think it's a mix of 'better than you' tone people find annoying, and sometimes a general inability to see from another's point of view. It's a divided world and the opposition is stupid, will be the worst possible thing for the country etc etc. Different opinions are not tolerated.

Personally I don't mind if people want to be more traditional, I would just reject the notion it's better for everyone, better in general and in particular the notion that used to be on TRP (maybe still is) that adherence means you won't get cheated on bugs me because you can do everything for someone and they still cheat on you. It just feels worse because you were sacrificing so much.

NockerJoe · 2019-06-15T04:50:00+00:00

I was on an anti pick me social media group and most of those people are feminist women and thot types who hate the idea of standards. Pick Me isn't an ideological stance so much as a tool for social shaming by women on social media to get other women on the proverbial party line.

Men are Trash gets you likes. Pick Me gets you passive agressive tags. Carrot and Stick.

dingelingdollar · 2019-06-15T13:50:18+00:00

Women that do not want to cater to their men feel inferior to the women that are willing to. To make them feel better about themselves they start writing random nonsense about them being UMC UC and studying political science, history, religion, philosophy or something else that just happens to hint at how smart or outstanding they are.

chocolatchauud · 2019-06-15T07:59:54+00:00

Pick-me's are pathetic. They glorify men and always make excuses for their toxic behaviour. They embrace and agree with the misogynistic views men have. They cater to men and tear other women down for male attention. It's frankly just sad.

[deleted] · 2019-06-15T06:16:13+00:00

They're seen as scabs undermining women's multigenerational strike is my guess

FalseBuddha · 2019-06-15T06:38:11+00:00

Any person that seems to need to build themselves up by putting others down would be a huge red flag to me. I want to date a woman who is confident in her worth without having to compare it to others. If she wants traditional values, that's cool, but the problem starts when she villifies people who don't. You're allowed to have opinions and preferences -and we can absolutely disagree on a lot of things- but I want to be with someone else who's happy, or fuck even unhappy, by their own measure.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-06-15T07:39:41+00:00

I find framing it as "upholding traditional values and catering to their men" super irritating. Let's say there is a woman who actually wants to take full control over the household and cooking. It can be for three reasons:

It's simply what she as an individual is like, she loves chores (or I guess to her it's a joy and not chores). She is into decorating stuff, cooking and so on. Then frame it that way, take pride in being talented and having skills in this area that are way above just monotonously performing chores, and don't make it about gender - I assume if that woman was male, she would still love to do the same things. so, I don't see her making comments like the above at all, I see her posting her creations and her work.
Your standards for cleanness and food are so high and difficult to meet that it's actually unfair to demand them from someone else, and it's easier if you do them yourself. Fair enough, again this go back to the point 1 and doesn't even require any public acknowledgement. That type of woman wouldn't make this kind of a post either.
You do these things because you don't work and it is literally the labour division in your relationship. I personally don't understand the concept of stay at home parents, and think it's very messed up, but fair enough. If you are staying at home because it seemed like the best option in given circumstances, then you wouldn't be posting about traditional values and catering to anyone, you would just see it as doing your part in the given situation - you probably won't take any special pride in it either. If you make this post, it would seem like you're overcompensating, probably in case where you are a gold digger who never wanted to work and wants to put a positive public spin on the fact that she is with a guy for his money.
You are a complete sucker with no self-respect, who caters to her man because you're in a shit relationship and are too afraid of being alone, so you do all you can to keep him. You post about it this way, as a way to get public validation that you're exactly the type of girl that men want (the same type of men as your boyfriend), so that you can forget about all those other girls whose partners respect them because it would depress you. It's better to act like all guys are like your shitty partner.

The person who makes this post with this wording is therefore either a gold-digger option in case 3, or the girl with zero self respect in case 4, and people are just pointing it out. They shouldn't be dragging women in general in their personal shitty life choices.

wtknight · 2019-06-15T04:56:30+00:00

What's changed so much in the last 14 years?

The rise of social media and women with feminist leanings rallying/shaming other women to their cause in order to get a one-up on the perpetual power struggle regarding male/female relationships.

SqueaksScreech · 2019-06-15T07:10:57+00:00

I don't give a shit if someon cooks for their partner and does chores. What annoys me is when people act like they're better than everybody elae5. I can still do basic ass chores while holding down a job and can get a man. Hell I probably fuck him better too instead of just laying there.

Sorry I'm still a little triggered from today because I was told I would never get a man because I don't want to give up my job and pop 2.5 children at the age of 20. This was by a bitch who is literally 2 years older than me is a high school drop out and has 3 children and a sahm.

poppy_blu · 2019-06-15T11:01:01+00:00

It’s not about wanting to be traditional per se. It’s about low smv women playing the “I’m a good girl/I’m different that the rest” card to get a man. This isn’t new. These chicks have been around forever. It just so happens that they’ll do things to keep a man around that are defined today as traditional.

GridReXX · 2019-06-15T13:27:30+00:00

Destiny’s Child wouldn’t be Crucified for Cater 2 U in 2019. Not anymore than they were in 2005.

Women inherently want to cater to men who cater to her. MIND BLOWN

In Cater 2 U, the man she’s talking about is her ideal — he’s hot af, he’s providing for her, he’s giving her back rubs and tea when her period comes on, he’s taking her on fancy dates, he helps take care of her mother, the bills are paid on time, he looks sexy af in a towel and nothing else. OF COURSE SHE’S HAPPILY RUNNING HIS BATH WATER AND MAKING SURE HIS DU RAG IS FRESH.

“Pick mes” on Twitter get made fun of because they say stupid stuff like “well idc if he’s not working and that he has 3 other baby mamas Imma still rush home from my second shift of the day to make sure he has dinner so he can play The Witcher.”

It’s gross and you hate to see it.

boomcheese44 · 2019-06-15T05:01:25+00:00

Women realized making themselves a "Pick me" isnt really a winning strategy to get a top guy that offers them something. It makes the man the prize.

poppy_blu · 2019-06-15T05:22:31+00:00

The bluepillosphere has always pushed this idea that they dont mind gender traditionalism if its something that just so happens to align with a couples natural inclinations, rather than being foisted on them by society. But of course like every social engineering movement the slide away from high minded idealism is swift when they smell blood in the water.

Commies will always end up slaughtering the bourgeoise (and the conservatives, and the priests, and finally the not extreme enough commies) after lulling everyone into a false sense of security. Just wanna level the playing field, theyll say... just wanna take the coerciveness out of the present system, theyll say. But sooner or later the message becomes “liquidate all reactionary elements”.

Its exactly the same for gender. The vitriol at whites, males, conservatives and anything that remotely smacks of traditionalism on the modern left surpasses anything the world has seen since about 1945. Eventually that hatred is going to manifest in some unpleasant ways. Make sure youre armed and stay woke on the second amendment lads. Wont be long before those assault weapons they keep trying to ban will be the only thing between your family and a leftist reeeducation camp.

sadomasochrist · 2019-06-15T13:38:43+00:00

Female equivalent of hating "douchebags".

i.e. men that women are aroused by

This is the same hangup men have, in female form here, where one gender realizes what the other gender actually wants and they have to either become that (pick me), or "be themselves"\femcel\blue pill\fgtow.

Again, you see this same exact concept in men. They learn women are attracted to masculinity, don't care about provider values like loyalty and compassion etc, and they have to choose to become a "bad person" or remain low SMV.

And so if you become said male and engage in "low value male behavior" you'll be labeled a douchebag, piece of shit, loser etc. When the truth of the matter is that men prefer women who are feminine, who look good and have a submissive orientation. This used to be called a "pleasing orientation" in old surveys.

Instead, women are trying to cling to their blue pill conditioning, which in this case is essentially to be a masculine career woman who don't take no shit from a man etc.

So there is three sides to this. The conditioning incongruence (cognitive dissonance\choking on the pill) and the aversion to change and the anger at opposite gender wants (shaming).

verticordia · 2019-06-15T05:05:06+00:00

Pick me women don't respect themselves. It's not about hating traditional gender roles or not wanting to be a good wife. Pick Me's are the female version of niceguys. They'll bend over backwards and do the most just to say that they have a man, while not holding that man to any standards.

If less pickmes opened their legs and sold their soul just for a crumb of male validation, there would be more men striving to be good partners. Pickmes aren't just traditional women or submissive women. Most of the time, traditional women actually hold their man to a high standard just as they hold themselves to. Many pickmes will cook, clean, fuck, suck, and pay a man's bills/give him her tax return.

SerpentCypher · 2019-06-15T14:10:05+00:00

Can someone explain what a Pick Me is? I'm out if the loop.

yasee · 2019-06-15T14:12:39+00:00

from trad-cons to poly thruples, it's generally annoying when people brag about how great and successful their relationship dynamic is

but also yeah, it's counter to the equality politics of the day. Most women these days have jobs and they don't want to take on being a perfect 50s housewife on top of that, so it bugs them when someone implies that they should

CamoWoobie10000 · 2019-06-15T14:33:57+00:00

Something something scab something something against the female imperative

p3n3lop3 · 2019-06-15T15:39:32+00:00

I am a "pick me" but I am a pick-me in ALL areas of my life. I just try really hard and have high standards. I care too much. I have learned though that in general, men will take this for granted and pine after the women who reject them so I'm over it.

blackedoutfast · 2019-06-15T17:26:52+00:00

because the current female social consensus is that women are supposed to be stronk independent feminist CareerWomen or whatever. and if any woman openly goes against the social consensus, that gives the rest of the women an opportunity to try to knock her down a peg. typical FSM crabs in a bucket behavior.

it really has nothing to do with the fact that the woman wants to cater to men or whatever, it's entirely because she is going against consensus. if the current consensus was that women are supposed to be trad domestic SAHMs, then any women who dared being a strong independent CareerWoman would get attacked in the exact same way by the exact same women.

madcockatiel · 2019-06-15T18:17:35+00:00

There’s a difference between being traditional and being a pickme. Just being traditional, or being a supportive partner, won’t earn you ire on the internet. Bragging about how little you’ll accept from a relationship and how much better it makes you than other women, to strangers on the internet, will. (See: White knights.)

Also, speaking from experience, many women go through a “pick me” phase when they are young. We just tend to eventually realize that acting like that is not a good strategy for attracting a high value partner. High value men want high value women, and high value women don’t act like pickmes. They may or may not be traditional, they may or may not be good partners, but regardless they don’t need their choices validated by internet strangers. As TRP is fond of saying, you are the prize. Act like it, and others will follow. If you reach adulthood without realizing this, it’s a bad look.

HottentotGenius · 2019-06-16T21:41:48+00:00

Because women subconsciously understand "pick me's" are sexual competitors who lower the overall price of the pussy

uggonoob1234 · 2019-06-15T05:37:37+00:00

Because we're more than a fleshlight who exist for a man's pleasure, we have our own individual thoughts and feelings

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-06-15T06:42:07+00:00

This doesn't exist outside of the black community and those emulating it

Salty-Bastard · 2019-06-15T04:57:15+00:00

Feminists want men to cater to them and bristle at women who don't buy into that. It's a power play to them and don't understand that might not be what every woman wants.

I also think traditional values of mutual respect and support are more egalitarian than what passes for "egalitarian" in feminist circles.

SerpentCypher · 2019-06-15T11:00:26+00:00

With the rise of "stunning and brave independent bitch" feminism relationships seem to be a competition of who cares the least and who can put the least amount of effort into their relationship and partner.

We saw it with that Australian woman who asked some feminist mother's forum for advice on what tasty sandwiches she could make her husband for his packed lunch at work. All of the replies were along the lines of "what are you his slave?" "You're his wife not his mother, he can make his own fucking sandwich" etc. Even when she told them he was the sole breadwinner and cooked dinner for both of them and their children 5 nights a week, so the least she could do was make him a sandwich, they still weren't having any of it. She was a bad feminist and it was a betrayal to women.

God forbid women do anything for the men they love anymore. It's a social faux pas in the FSM. This presents itself in social shaming like we see with the "pick me" label.

wotsittoyou · 2019-06-15T06:18:02+00:00

We realized that "pick me" people (yes men can be "pick me" too...) were being inauthentic or speaking from ignorance that they should know is ignorance, in a way that helps no-one, not even themselves.

The problem is that usually once the pick me gets in a situation of having been picked, once that new situation and the reality of the downsides of the situation bite them on the butt, they will end up changing their mind a whole lot. Which y'know... nobody wins. They and they person who picked them don't win because things go to shit for them and expectations are not met, and the rest of us get annoyed at one end of their "pick me" cycle and and have to deal with their dramas at the other end.

Ofourkind · 2019-06-15T08:19:42+00:00

No hate for them, I just think it's a shitty strategy that will most likely end up in her being used. Gals like that often have shitty boundaries and tolerate terrible behavior.

I dont aspire to let a man do whatever he wants to me, and I would advise any woman who asked my opinion/advice about that to avoid it.

Feminity=vulnerability. The full expression of that should be reserved for men who have proven they can be trusted with it. In my opinion.

FlavFal · 2019-06-15T11:32:57+00:00

Because no matter how much you kiss men's asses, most will still consider you inferior for being a woman.

Chernobylpizza · 2019-06-15T12:03:33+00:00

Being a "pick me" woman is just another strategy to appear more valuable to men and it comes across as very inauthentic. They also tend to get used a lot easier or at the very least end up being taken for granted. Reminds me of the "cool girl" passage from gone girl.

goatismycopilot · 2019-06-15T11:54:42+00:00

Nobody cares if a woman wants to have a traditional relationship and espouse traditional values. I will say I worked with a Pick Me chick who liked to bore me with details of her trad con marriage. The issue is whoring yourself out as a virtue queen on social media.

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[deleted] · 2019-06-17T11:41:40+00:00

I wish pick me girls wanted me.

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-06-16T00:17:00+00:00

Because there is a difference between being a loving and supportive and kind partner and being a doormat. Men can’t wrap their heads around this, it seems. They tend to confuse being a loving spouse with being a “white knight” and then turn around and get angry at women who dislike “pick me” types.

Cyclone619y2j · 2019-06-16T16:26:38+00:00

This is more of a black people thing on twitter.

Hardly a dynamic that applies to the general population.

Title	Why the hate for "Pick Me's"?
Author	HottentotGenius
Upvotes	22
Comments	151
Date	June 15, 2019 4:45 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/c0tk30/why_the_hate_for_pick_mes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-the-hate-for-pick-mes.255287 https://theredarchive.com/post/255287

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