Don't get married. That is all.

MattyAnon · 2017-10-02T16:28:51+00:00

I've been married for 6 months... and I'm still picking up the pieces trying to piece together how it could all go so wrong

Divorce now.

Cheaper in the long run.

Rian_Stone · 2017-10-02T17:12:58+00:00

Not wrong, but I do love how people's self talk is disguised as advice most the time.

empatheticapathetic · 2017-10-02T20:34:04+00:00

Would love to hear what happened and why. That should have been the field report

tenxs · 2017-10-03T06:05:54+00:00

I learnt nothing from this post but the fact that you're unhappy and your marriage is the reason why.

lobsterwing · 2017-10-03T00:40:07+00:00

Out of curiosity, is there anyone here who is happily married? I mean, I do eventually want a kid.

xXx420VTECxXx · 2017-10-03T17:56:42+00:00

You could have spent a smaller budget on a wedding
You could have got pre nupituals
You could have made a rant and then self reflected.
You could have invested in gold silver and crypto

DoubleyouKayArePee · 2017-10-03T01:13:41+00:00

6 months and it goes to shit? Don't marry a girl just because you like fucking her. Don't date a girl just because you like fucking her. Don't talk to a girl just because you like fucking her.

If you'd said 2 years+ id give you the benefit of the doubt. But you just liked fucking her so you ignored all the bad until it was too late.

lelease · 2017-10-03T01:24:05+00:00

I keep seeing people post "don't get married" with walls of text trying to explain their argument, unicorns don't exist, rose-tinted glasses, etc... but after nodding my head reading through all of it, I still couldn't concretely tell you why, i.e. what actually goes wrong and how does it fall apart? What changed, what happened, who made mistakes? Not looking for the cookie-cutter copy-pasta response of divorce-rape blah blah etc., I'm looking for a proper explanation, maybe someone from the That kind of thing won't happen to me camp could tell their story.

lanadeldildo · 2017-10-02T22:29:23+00:00

I don't understand what's gone so badly since you've got married, how does it change things? I'm genuinely curious. I thought it's just a big party with all your friends and family but with rings and wedding cake. Surely it's just the same, you're still in a relationship but instead of boyfriend and girlfriend you're husband and wife, different titles don't mean jack shit.

tteabag2591 · 2017-10-02T21:55:07+00:00

You can have a good relationship with marriage AND without marriage. You're more likely to KEEP it good without marriage hanging over the dynamics of it but at the same time, you don't have to care if it goes south. You can more easily move on and just find another plate.

GetHimSomeMilk · 2017-10-02T23:33:47+00:00

The last couple saturday nights I've spent a good amount of time feeling up, making out with, grinding and whispering dirty shit into taken or married women's ears.

And honestly the reason I did it was simply because I felt like they would be the easiest pull. And I was right.

nyamiraman · 2017-10-03T10:08:23+00:00

I love my wife... But marriage was one dumb fucken idea

A man can be happy with any woman, so long as he does not love her.

Weefilly · 2017-10-02T17:26:47+00:00

I'd argue that pushing liberal ideology (not getting married, for example) only further serves the liberal and feminist agenda. Denying traditional marriage/family values pushes us further toward the society that the left, betas, and feminists envision.

yuyevin · 2017-10-03T01:36:32+00:00

It's totally possible to be red pill and get married. Just be a man and wear the fucking pants. Really not that complicated.

RPAlternate42 · 2017-10-03T04:04:10+00:00

I wouldn't recommend getting legally married for anyone, man or woman; I predict a shift in the way it's a feminine first institution regarding divorce. I've seen a few stories of alimony and prizes and cash for the husbands upon divorce. Either way, men should avoid the legal aspects.

Push for a private ceremony based on trust and loyalty. If she pushes for the document more than a few times, it's a lost cause, likely.

Common law states notwithstanding.

I've been married for 17 years. It was good at the first 2, shitty for the next 2, I put my head in the sand for the next 5, tricked myself after the kid for the next 3, had another kid, stopped tricking myself, shit was shitty until 2014, then I found TRP and now it's good.

PantsonFire1234 · 2017-10-04T12:33:36+00:00

Damn six months bro.. Marriage worked in the olden days because we didn't have this fucked up culture. Women didn't work. There was no birth control or hardcore porn. No Tinder or XTC riddled techno parties. Slut shaming was amplified instead of muted. And more. In such an environment a woman would think twice about fucking over her life.

But now we have 30-40 year old women breaking up with their husbands because they truly believe they can get better. The disillusion and fantasy land attitude is out of control.

At this point having a girlfriend is already to much to ask. You are better off plating them or having multiple girlfriends. That way you won't be affects when women do the women thing.

djthiago1 · 2017-10-02T17:13:20+00:00

I always hear complaints about not getting married because they take half your shit away. How about marrying someone who makes the same, if not MORE money than you?

The_Men_in_Boxes · 2017-10-02T16:24:06+00:00

If you're bringing kids into this world, get married.

sixinbrian · 2017-10-03T03:39:47+00:00

Couldn't agree more, do not ever get married! It rarely, if ever benefits the male. It's something that women push on a guy because it represents security to them. And if it ends up in divorce rape which most likely will, you'll be wishing you'd never done it. Besides, I don't like dating anyways. I just like the sex. And if you have kids, guess what they're going to the wife. Even if she is a loony bitch and is on pharmaceuticals.

AnAltofMine · 2017-10-03T04:00:26+00:00

Your problem is that your wife initiated the marriage. Any good marriage starts with a Man initiating the marriage, and that is how marriage was done forever. Any woman that initiates a marriage is not usually marriage material.

Be a fucking man and don't fucking do things that you don't want to do, as a Man embrace the principle of acting upon, masculinity, rather than being acted upon, femininity. Any good marriage is founded upon a man capable of acting upon and a woman capable of being acted upon.

TheOriginalWasBetter · 2017-10-03T15:08:45+00:00

Marriage with a quality woman is one of the best things in life. Marriage to a lazy, self-centered, mentally unstable woman is miserable.

If you marry a shitty woman that's your fault. No different than single mother who complains about the absent father. Don't have kids with shitty men, duh, or even sex. You should be ignoring shitty people, not dating them or having sex and definitely not kids or marriage.

Be very picky, marry a quality woman, and be a team and go achieve your goals, have a fun relationship with lots of sex, and have a great life.

If you want to go around fucking random women fine, but it's your responsibility to make sure it doesn't cloud your judgement and make you fall for a woman who isn't relationship material.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-10-03T21:53:58+00:00

So are u gonna talk about the shitshow that's your marriage, or are we gonna sit here hold hands and talk about our feelings?

Fix your post

_Cold_Hands_ · 2017-10-05T16:28:42+00:00

Give each other a fucking ring then just have a party, no need for a government to be involved.

Wilreadit · 2017-10-02T21:41:24+00:00

I summarize TRP for those who might be new or a little slow in the head.

DO NOT GET MARRIED. EVER. FOR NO REASON.

Class dismissed.

Luckylancer96 · 2017-10-03T04:15:54+00:00

If yours go sour after 6months, you made a bad choice in first place.

Truedemocracy2 · 2017-10-02T18:54:30+00:00

Fuck off. Just because your marriage is a dismal failure (6 months, seriously?) and you were dragged to the altar doesn't mean everyone else will be.

How about the benefit of passing on your genes? Raising strong children? God knows society needs it right now, and no fucking way I'm going to contribute to the decline of western society. Marriage is without question the best way to do this.

pullupsNpushups · 2017-10-03T02:30:03+00:00

I totally understand why a man wouldn't and shouldn't get married, but I'm young and at least have some time to think about it. My goal IS to get married, but I acknowledge the issues and whatnot that go along with it. I don't need to worry about it right now obviously, but at least I'll have both sides of the marriage coin to think about later. Who knows what happens.

indivisibleremainder · 2017-10-03T03:32:02+00:00

how bout some useful specifics

th3chemist · 2017-10-03T04:52:42+00:00

What is it woth people's fear of marriage? Why are they scared to lose all their tangible goods in order to receive their intangibles,what really matters, back. They all call themselves alpha's but too scared to play the game...Is it really the end of the world to go through marriage? Or just another geniuenly clever way to destroy a man, get out while you can. You fucks think losing money and half your shit is scary, how bout getting your soul and passion sucked out you. Dont get married.

Jonlife · 2017-10-03T07:37:30+00:00

The amount of men who get married but have never played or won the lottery. None of us are brainwashed into thinking that we have a chance of winning the lottery. Yet, most men are brainwashed into thinking they'll find a women till death do they part. You're better off thinking you can fly.

Edit: just noticed you said you were married. Lololololol. The only question I have is, how fast are you getting s divorce?

geldersekifuzuli · 2017-10-03T07:48:25+00:00

If you feel regret for your marriage, there should be something wrong seriously.

The first months of my marriage was like hell for me. You know, people say "you need to do sacrifice in marriage and give up something..." I did this. But later, I started to feel that it doesn't make sense to do sacrifice irrationally. I wasn't feeling good about my marriage. I felt a huge regret for getting married.

Then I started to so what I wanted. I gave up doing stupid sacrifices. Of course, my wife told me she want to divorce. I said her "it's your choice."

2 years has passed. Now, she happy to be with me. She doesn't want me leave her. (she knows that ending marriage is not a bad option for me).

My mistake was saying "OK" to ridiculous things and giving up my hobbies just because she doesn't like that part of me without any reason.

If you regret, there is something wrong. It is probable that you are making wrong sacrifices and this affects you.

Lastly, I strongly suggest you not to have a baby in this state of marriage.

SpawnOfCowboyNeal · 2017-10-03T12:18:34+00:00

I've never understood the whole "married for love" thing. Marriage is an economic relationship that follows a very specific set of statutory rules upon dissolution. At least that is the case in the western world. And the funny thing is, these laws are pretty cut and dried and not difficult to understand. Anyone can and should be aware of them before entering into marriage.

It's a big financial commitment. It's like buying a house or a car. You wouldn't do either of those things out of love, would you? Actually on second thought, some people do. How many times have you heard stories about people getting in over their heads financially because they bought their "dream home" or car when they couldn't afford to do so?

Back to the issue of marriage, I'll leave y'all with an Oscar Wilde quote:

I really don't see anything romantic in proposing. It is very romantic to be in love. But there is nothing romantic about a definite proposal. Why, one may be accepted. One usually is, I believe. Then the excitement is all over. The very essence of romance is uncertainty. If ever I get married, I'll certainly try to forget the fact.

ThickDickWarrior89 · 2017-10-03T17:47:01+00:00

Bradrin! Are you saying wifey ain't givin you no more poo nonny?

AlchemyPhoenix · 2017-10-04T02:26:07+00:00

I'm still not thinking of taking that plunge any time soon, nor have I met anyone I'd really want to consider it with. But I'm curious how old everybody is. When you're 40 and you've been sleeping around and partying and living the good life for 15 years, eventually it does return diminishing value. You do start to wonder more and more if a real relationship would be more satisfying than fucking yet another rando. If I extrapolate the rate at which this curiosity is growing, then in another five years I'll probably really have had plain enough of the burn-through and either end up a "graduated" back-end MGTOW or else married to someone absolutely fabulous (as I'll have had the luxury of waiting forever to pick the best one.)

Ahoymateynerf · 2017-10-04T05:07:15+00:00

For this forum to have any actual meaning, it is vital he shares WHY.

The bests posts on here are all opinions, but they are steeped in insight gained from trial, error and experience.

_Aaronstotle · 2017-10-05T21:01:40+00:00

How would it ruin my bank account? Never open a joint account and make it so your wife can't touch you funds

nDoMitable · 2017-10-02T23:34:54+00:00

Or get married if you can see yourself being with that person forever and want some meaning for your end game in life.

huge_gap · 2017-10-02T19:25:33+00:00

I'm thinking about marrying this girl... someone change my mind.

ClassyMuthaFucker · 2017-10-03T02:39:27+00:00

I haven't seen this discussed here, but I'm sick of hearing that you should just "dump her and start from scratch" for every single little thing. Yes, I understand someone with abundance mentality knows they can meet other girls just like that, but sometimes I find this sub goes a bit too extreme to a level I consider too emotionally calloused to be anything but a cold,calculating computer.

"Oh, she forgot to make you your daily scrambled eggs once? Cut your losses and move on" I'm convinced part of TRP is men that have severe trust issues/have no real grasp on how maintain a relationship because they're too accustomed to the pump and dump and actively look for reasons to end their relationships.

Do you have any idea how much time and effort you'd have dumped into a relationship before you even think of marriage? And then to just end a relationship you've been in for the last X years because "marriage is evil".

I'm think there's an issue with you and many other TRPers that swear marriage off entirely instead of approaching the issue logically. Yes, women aren't 'logical' the way men are, but if you get an ironclad prenup, talk about your expectations for the marriage and make sure you maintain the standard of living you're accustomed to, what have you got to lose? A standard divorce costs $20,000 , but if you have that ironclad pre-nup and end it on good terms, you barely even need to spend money. She's already using you for your resources in one cpacatiy or another by being in a relationship with you and I've seen couples that are married in everything but name. Where I live [Miami], it's culturally accepted that people will refer to their longterm girlfriend/boyfriend as their spouse, whom they live with and have a child with and are married for all intents and purposes except for legally, yet I understand the issue you have with marriage is the legally binding part and I understand why you have it.

And before anyone just writes me off as some BP that accidentally ended up in this sub, I'm not saying I believe in marriage. To me, it's the government acknowledging your relationship and giving you and your spouse special benefits, which is a little bit...odd. There certainly is a different pressure placed on your relationship once you get married versus before.

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2017-10-02T21:42:01+00:00

I got married on a ONS it was a really crazy time. Thankfully it ended amicably.

WaaaLuiigi · 2017-10-02T23:54:38+00:00

What's the general TRP advice for people who want kids, but don't want marriage?

DimiXti · 2017-10-03T09:36:23+00:00

Because it doesn't work for you and your wife, it doesn't mean that it doesn't work for other people. If you don't like something in your marriage you are probably responsible for it. Identify it and change it. Best of luck.

metallicdrama · 2017-10-02T20:49:16+00:00

Just because you're not man enough for the institution of marriage doesn't mean others aren't. I agree with many in here who say don't don't because it is not for everyone. But it is for some. A man who doesn't own himself can't possibly attract and maintain the loyalty of actual wife material. AWALT is generally true, but if you're the bestsuMost boys make poor decisions in their partner, in their business and with themselves to get in bad situations. Not all men get ruined by marriage even with bad partners. Be a fucking man and own yourself, your life, and be engaged in your choices. Being present in how you execute your life means understanding how you got to where you are now, where it you want to be, and how you get there. Don't flail and thrash around like a dying fish. You have a dick. Use it.

batraz · 2017-10-02T20:09:19+00:00

Fuck love.

If you want kids, get married. Choose a good lovable feminine girl you also feel like fucking. That is all.

gibson_mel · 2017-10-03T14:44:16+00:00

I've been married for 7 years. I'm only staying in it because Christ compels me not to divorce. I'm so miserable. :(

[deleted] · 2017-10-02T17:13:05+00:00

Can't argue.

How gon argue wit dat bruh?

spikeforlife · 2017-10-02T18:59:04+00:00

Bro why is marriage one bad fucking idea, explain a bit

vast_rightwing · 2017-10-03T02:04:11+00:00

Way cheaper to divorce 6 mo in. Can't fuck you on alimony the same way. Plus even if you have a kid together, you have less than she could trap you with going forward

bouncingbollocks · 2017-10-03T12:14:10+00:00

Assuming this is a real situation and you were pressured into marriage, look into annulment.

Rules vary by state, also assuming US here.

This is a time sensitive decision, some of the more liberal states like CA give you years to decide, more old fashioned ones cap it at six months.

Pretty sure these rules were intended to aid women who changed their minds so there would be some juicy irony here for you.

I'm not a lawyer and you're gonna need an open minded judge to pull this off.

Title	Don't get married. That is all.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	333
Comments	277
Date	October 2, 2017 4:03 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/73tpaa/dont_get_married_that_is_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/dont-get-married-that-is-all.46298 https://theredarchive.com/post/46298

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